61 Comments

Haaaappppyyyy New Year… Or nah???

Posted by dcpassion2009 on January 1, 2015 in Daily feelings, Surrender

Sooooooo, I have 364 days left to improve the way I feel inside and about life in general. No doubt, I’m unhappy! But, what’s missing? I mean, everything I assumed made me feel so terrible years ago no longer exists. In fact, some would haphazardly claim I’m living the american dream (man at home, children self sufficient, gainfully employed, health up to par) what else could anyone want or need?

My question exact!!! I have no clue what I’m experiencing, and that in itself is driving me crazy. Sorta like a catch 22 or should I say I’m dammed if I do or don’t geeeesssssshhhhh… How much longer till I rrreeesssttt??? It use to be “I can’t get no man, so I’m so sad” next suicidal thoughts creep in. Well, he’s doing his best and I’m still effin unhappy SMH ggggrrrrrrhhhhhh.

My children don’t call on nor depend on me like before, when I was able to lay blame to them for all my so call stress… Jesus, Plllleeeeeaaaaassssseeee step in, and lead, guide and direct me… If I’m the primary culprit for my own demise; I’m prepared to take full responsibility, and allow You to show me myself transparently. There’s gotta be a better waaaaaayyyyyyy, and I’m determined to find it!!!

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61 comments on “Haaaappppyyyy New Year… Or nah???”

  1. Ann Marie Thomas January 2, 2015 at 8:21 am Reply

    Thanks for following my blog, hope it inspires you!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. victoriadougherty January 2, 2015 at 10:54 am Reply

    I think your feelings are pretty common 🙂 Thanks so much for following me on Cold.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. jecamizzi January 2, 2015 at 1:50 pm Reply

    I lived through depression for a long time. It wasn’t any circumstances that cause it, it just was. I saw an amazing therapist, we talked about all the options. I wanted to try talking and seeing what God did through that before I was willing to try a proscription. The Holy Spirit worked through the counseling and the work I did at home. I didn’t end up need the prescription, but I know others that do, and God works in and through them just as much if not more than through me. Seeking help outside my own circle and letting God work through it was the BEST thing I ever did! I am a new creation in Him because of the work He did in me during of it.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. armsakimbobook January 2, 2015 at 3:39 pm Reply

    Hoping this will be a great year for you. I love how you express what’s going on inside you. My experience with doing that is that it helps healing so much. Looking forward to reading more over the course of 2015 – I wish you health, happiness, and healing.
    ~Audrey

    Liked by 1 person

  5. bipolarscorpio January 2, 2015 at 5:39 pm Reply

    Thank you for following my blog first of all!

    Secondly, I know that when in the midst of a depression it is really necessary to get proper treatment before we usually feel like trying ways to stop chasing the next thing. For me, I have done some reading about living in the present, meditating and thinking of nothing (I know it sounds wacky but it has really made me take notice of the fact that there really is only now, this moment. Stop, take a breath and notice everything around you in a particular moment and find gratitude in what you see in that moment.) Life is a series of instances that pass in just that, an instant. If we are regretting or worrying about moments that have past or not yet come to pass, we are missing now. Trying to slow down and notice every moment and live in it has helped me immensely. Sometimes I just notice a leaf, blowing in the wind and I feel grateful for the moment, the breeze. I notice that while thinking about and feeling gratitude for those tiny events happening around me, I can’t be worrying about past or waiting for future events at the same time, and my mind finds some moments of peace. Give it a try! I truly wish you a new year of beautiful moments and that you grab and feel gratitude for every one.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. toniandrukaitis January 2, 2015 at 10:32 pm Reply

    I’ve just been on the other end of this dilemma. My husband was looking for some unrealistic Xanadu, euphoric, blissful life that doesn’t exist. Someone else, some place else, some unrealistic idea of what happiness is makes people yearn for something more. We are now divorced, he has screwed up my life and his life. He’s playing house with a bimbo slut waitress, and our family is torn apart. Love what you have and those who love you. Love yourself. You are special. I hope you find happiness within you. It’s there,

    Liked by 2 people

    • dcpassion2009 January 2, 2015 at 10:34 pm Reply

      You are so right, and slowly but surely God is revealing my worth to me… Thanx for the encouragement

      Like

    • singersong January 2, 2015 at 10:51 pm Reply

      Wow, toniandrukaitis, Don’t be so bitter! I’ve been through everything that you have, a wife who cheated, separation after 30 years, financial dislocation, depression and lost my job at the same time. I was in a funk for a year. I decided to change my life. Put everything I own into storage and moved from Australia to the west coast of Ireland. I have ‘retired’ and play and learn Irish music, and do my photography. I don’t know if I am ‘happy’ but I can tell you I am happier than I have been for the last twenty years. There is an alternative. Check out my blog at singersongblog.wordpress.com. Hang in there dcpassion2009. Things do improve. Thanks for following me by the way.

      Liked by 1 person

  7. Mrs Puddleducky January 3, 2015 at 4:28 am Reply

    Thanks for following my new blog really appreciate it. Like your post hope 2015 is a good one for you 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  8. onebumps January 3, 2015 at 3:00 pm Reply

    Thanks for following and introducing me to Da Ugly Ducklin. We are never alone. God bless you in 2015.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Jane January 4, 2015 at 4:55 pm Reply

    Thanks for following my bog also. Here is a hug and I hope it helps. Having a blogging community is a great support and you will see we never walk alone.
    ((((hug))))

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Victoria January 5, 2015 at 8:17 pm Reply

    Thank you very much for following my blog, radiantdevotionals.wordpress.com . I am thanking God for you.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. dweezer19 January 5, 2015 at 9:22 pm Reply

    I would be feeling much the same as you if not for my husband wanting to retire to Costa Rica, me having to give up nearly everything I own to move down there only to have to move back due to financial “challenges” and starting over. I am now the happiest I have ever been, living simply, knowing my children are all fine and I don’t have high living expenses to keep me grovelling for every cent I can get. I work but have the best job ever and I think it is because I let go for the “freefall”. I had my vision quest by going into the complete unknown. How liberating and terrifying it was. I can no longer recall some of the things I used to feel. Peace, love and light to you.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Free Spirit Mystic January 6, 2015 at 12:59 am Reply

    Find your passion again!!!
    Stay with me we may find it together.

    Liked by 1 person

  13. KellerTxDad January 6, 2015 at 6:45 am Reply

    Thank you for reading and following my blog! I look forward to reading your posts as well. Your Foundation is right; continue to trust in Him and I’ll be praying for you. God bless you!

    Liked by 1 person

  14. richardmitnick January 6, 2015 at 1:49 pm Reply

    Thanks for following sciencesprings. I appreciate it very much.

    Liked by 1 person

  15. Pam Boyd January 7, 2015 at 11:14 am Reply

    I appreciate your honesty and have struggled with similar feelings. This morning I was reminded to dwell in gratitude, fight despondency with joy, and focus on the “giver of immortal gladness.” Have you read PROOF OF HEAVEN? Great book to remind us of eternal realities and how they overshadow all of our stuff. Hope to keep in touch. Pam

    Liked by 1 person

  16. psychologistmimi January 10, 2015 at 4:45 pm Reply

    you can persevere! hope 2015 is a good one for you

    Liked by 1 person

  17. laurieanichols January 10, 2015 at 8:28 pm Reply

    Thanks for the follow! I hope that this year will be a good one for you. Depression is something that I have been very familiar with throughout my life and the only thing that has helped me after much trial and error was writing for the most part. Writing in the simplest way possible such as my blog, it isn’t much, not like many blogs out there, mine is really more like a personal diary but it serves me extremely well. It keeps the flood of depression at bay and that is what counts. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  18. judithhb January 11, 2015 at 1:33 am Reply

    Thanks or dropping by and deciding to follow my blog. I am not blogging as often as I did in the past but I do hope there will be things on there that will interest you,
    Depression is something I have no experience of personally but do know from various friends just how awful it can be. I shall be back often to read and check on how you are getting on. XX

    Liked by 1 person

  19. aviottjohn January 11, 2015 at 8:13 am Reply

    I know what it’s like waiting for the children to call. But once I accepted they’re busy with their own lives and problems (like I was at their age), things got much better. I rarely call them, but now they call often, and I simply tell them I love them. Now they feel more free to come or not, without any guilt. Take care and all my wishes for your birthday and the new year ahead. Love.

    Liked by 1 person

  20. curtisbausse January 11, 2015 at 11:45 am Reply

    Thanks for following my blog. I hope you find a way out of your current state – sounds corny, I know, but it helps to note down every day the positive things that happened. Basically counting your blessing, big and small. Good luck!

    Liked by 1 person

  21. darlenebeckjacobson January 12, 2015 at 9:16 am Reply

    You’ve already begun your journey to healing by reaching out to others. You are not alone and you matter to many people in this world. God bless you and may each day bring you something to be joyful for.

    Liked by 1 person

  22. Amy January 12, 2015 at 11:50 am Reply

    I sure hope you find comfort in your life. There is much to rejoice, but sometimes it’s hard to see why you are nevertheless sad.

    Thank you for following my blog.

    Liked by 1 person

  23. repeoples January 13, 2015 at 8:01 pm Reply

    Thanks for following my blog, I hope you can find some humor in the “humor stories” that will lift your spirit and gain some spiritual insight in the devotions. My wife suffers from severe depression and anxiety and has to be on medication, those advising a thearpist are spot on, I believe being able to talk and express her feelings without worrying about them being spread and gossiped about is a large part of her well being. She is not what one would call happy, but she is coping and has good moments and can laugh at stuff once again. I don’t see how anyone could make it through what she/we have been through without God who gives us hope. Your pretty brave for putting “it” out there for all the world to see, God Bless

    Liked by 1 person

  25. barbaramonier January 14, 2015 at 3:16 pm Reply

    THANKS much for following by blog, and allowing me to find and follow yours!

    Liked by 1 person

  26. Peter Kimwere January 18, 2015 at 9:29 am Reply

    Nice post, coming from the heart. Thanks for following my blog. I do appreciate.

    Liked by 1 person

  27. brickthomas January 18, 2015 at 10:53 pm Reply

    Thanks for following and I wish you the best for 2015.

    Liked by 1 person

  28. zooeyibz January 19, 2015 at 10:15 am Reply

    Thanks for following Creative Writing Ibiza. Here’s a year of inspiration.

    Liked by 1 person

  29. pm4everything January 19, 2015 at 11:41 am Reply

    Thanks for following my blog. I wish you a very blessed 2015. Let the almighty shower all the blessings upon you.

    Liked by 1 person

  30. Rebecca January 19, 2015 at 5:36 pm Reply

    HI dcpassion, First of all, thanks for the follow at faithsighanddiy. You are not alone in your feelings. I have a background as a lay counselor, Bible teacher and hospital chaplain. Most of my blog centers on mental health issues. I hope you’ll check out some of my older posts. I have a lot of information that will help.
    But as to what responsibility you have, the fact is, you do. We all do. No one else can make us happy anymore than we can make them happy. I’m counseling right now with a young woman who wants to blame everyone else. Consequently, her depression isn’t resolving itself as it should even with medication.
    Anyway, God bless and thanks for your honesty.

    Liked by 1 person

  31. jacquelinegwallace January 19, 2015 at 5:41 pm Reply

    Thanks for following my blog, sister! Keep following after Jesus with all that Passion!

    Liked by 1 person

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