#thingsthatmakeyougohmm

Be careful what you take for granted ” 🎢 🎡 πŸŽ™οΈ 🎀

All my life, although I was outwardly aggressive, in all honesty, I was also pretty sensitive inside; which became overshadowed, by the domineering attributes about me, that were displayed more often than not. Leading me to become ostracized and set apart. No longer invited to this special event or that spectacular extravaganza, and I must admit that it had lasting affects, that I am struggling to shake back from.

Over a period of nearly six years, I’ve been doing a self analysis, in order to rebuild my structure and make myself a more likable and accepted individual, that people are pleased to congregate with; and not cringe.

Success and prosperity is no mysterious magnet, that haphazardly draws individuals in, to celebrate with you, without you first making amends with those who you’ve offended or wronged. 

The moral of the story is this, we live in a cause and effect atmosphere, where I’ve learned, and you should too. That, our horrible actions and repulsive reactions, can devastatingly make or break us.

So, it’s highly imperative, that we’re kind to others and are sure to have their best interest at heart daily, and if you know that you haven’t followed these best practices throughout life, and it’s obvious to see this, because your once huge crowd of friends, family and love ones, is now to the point, where you can count them on one hand, then you gotta make it right πŸ…ΏοΈeriod πŸ’›πŸš€πŸ’™β€οΈβ€¦ Therefore, in the words of the great Ruben Studdard “I’m sorry”🎢 🎡 πŸŽ™οΈ 🎀 

#PaulettePassionWilliams #PauletteWilliams #TheEmpire #TheEmpireKids #TheEmpireTots #BnFEnt #CeoSonSon

Advertisement

#thingsthatmakeyougohmm

#thingsthatmakeyougohmm Opinions welcomed, criticism accepted grudgingly πŸ₯ΊWhy am I lonely, sad & miserable? I feel like I have it all together; in every aspect of life πŸ˜΅β€πŸ’«HBU? #PaulettePassionWilliams #PauletteWilliams #TheEmpire #TheEmpireKids #TheEmpireTots #BnFEnt #CeoSonSon

Gotta have #FAITH, Da size of a mustard seed #STAYWOKE
Don’t hate the game, hate the player 😍
Passion feelin herself #PERIODTT
Behind that smile, lies an abundance of unmatched love β€οΈπŸ’‹πŸš€πŸ₯°

My looks aren’t a deal breaker, I’m highly intelligent, an author, college educated, hilarious, family oriented, loyal, honest 😍 what’s missing? Let’s chat about it πŸ’›πŸ…ΏοΈβ€οΈπŸš€πŸ’™

BTW… NEW BOOK onna way #yaay #woohoo drops Mother’s Day… But, in the meantime go grab you a copy of my first 2 β€œThe Transparent ME” & “Sister Sistah Connection”#greatreads #youwontregretit Thanks for the support #PaulettePassionWilliams #PauletteWilliams #TheEmpire #TheEmpireKids #TheEmpireTots #BnFEnt #CeoSonSon

Sister Sistah Connection by Paulette “Passion” Williams
The Transparent Me by Paulette “Passion” Williams

How do you deal with your husband failing to please you in the bedroom?

I’m very sexual, and I don’t want to be too graphic here, but I go in depth about the reason, that I feel that I’m a nymphomaniac, in my book “The Transparent Me

As a child I was sexually assaulted, and the weird thing, about how I how reacted, as I developed, to what should’ve been a tragic moment for me, instead of me fearing men or hating the very thought of them, I actually became highly promiscuous; and gravitated to them, on a highly irresponsible way, to the point where I was soliciting them, sometimes daily smh πŸ€¦πŸ½β€β™€οΈ.

Me, being able to continue this abhorrent behavior, without reproach or getting chastised, gave rise to my second book “Sister Sistah Connection”, where I expound upon breaking the generational curse, and mothers doing better with their daughters, and watching over them.

Unfortunately, my mother and her mother wasn’t close at all, which caused my mother and I, to be horribly estranged; all the way up until she passed, and although I hate like crazy, that she went to her grave, without us making amends, I hate more that I was violated as a child (on her watch), and now have a huge problem with intercourse regularly; causing my husband to feel inferior and invalidated. We can be in that session for hours, but I’ll still need to masturbate, before I feel fulfilled.

But, back to my daughters, and the importance of the book. I was, have always been and will forever be convinced, that my mother failed me, and allowed that (the sexual abuse) to happen to me, was merely because she never connected with me, as a caring and protective mother should have. But, I was determined to do differently by my girls and I have taught my daughters to meticulously watch over my granddaughters, and that can only occur, by annihilating the ridiculous curse, that seemingly has a stronghold on the females in my family, that causes them to hate each other longterm, which in turn stands in the way of the women appropriately rearing up the little girls, and that stupidity only leaves them vulnerable to the possibility, that they could haphazardly end up like me. Something I refuse to stand by allow (Not on my watch).

#PaulettePassionWilliams #PauletteWilliams #TheEmpire #TheEmpireKids #TheEmpireTots #BnFEnt #CeoSonSon

Ohhhhh yeah it’s opinion time… Yall ready???πŸ€”

Love don’t love NOBODY πŸ’™ πŸ…ΏοΈ πŸ˜‡ πŸ™Œ πŸ™ πŸ’›… #letsargue #letsdebate #letsagreetodisagree #letschataboutit

Why can’t I keep a man πŸ€ͺπŸ˜΅β€πŸ’«πŸ˜©πŸ™„πŸ€―
  • 1. Uhhhhhh, I totally disagree!!! I’ve been happily married for years.
  • 2. Ohhhhh yessssss, I wholeheartedly agree. Smh πŸ€¦πŸ½β€β™€οΈ for some reason I just can’t seem to get it right.
  • 3. Well, to be honest, I’m 2 sided and I’ll elaborate for ya.
  • 4. F*ck love πŸ…ΏοΈeriod, I’m absolutely done with it fah sho fah sho.
  • 5. Girllllllll I’m headed to the court house as we speak grrrhhhh πŸ™„

149 Days… Father God in Heaven… Have Your Way πŸ˜πŸ₯°πŸ˜˜

Man ole man ole man… I opened my site to blog for today, and seen that a fairly old post had been reblogged, and I took the time to read over the post, from nearly 7 years ago, and I seen how optimistic and positive I was, even though I was homeless smh πŸ€¦πŸ½β€β™€οΈ… Not getting many hours at work 😩.. But, I was always taught that you never allow yourself to look like what you’re going through. Also, “Faith is the substance of things Hoped for, and the evidence of things unseen”… Back then, I can remember that I would keep a smile daily smh πŸ€¦πŸ½β€β™€οΈ and believe God to do the unthinkable for me; which He has so many times before, and just as I hope He does again for me, before my time runs out. #JesusTakeTheWheel

Something else I surprisingly noticed today, is that a nice author reblogged my first book post for me… I’m so thankful for that; as I expressed to them, and I elaborate on that, with great emphasis, because that’s gotta be God, Who led them to reblog the book, because I was so sad that my books done so poorly, and I know it’s my fault, that I failed to promote the books properly duhhhh πŸ™„… Like how would anybody be interested in my books, when they have no clue who I am lol πŸ˜‚ lls 🀣… But, still the fact that they took the initiative to assist meant a lot to me #ThankYou

But, back to the old post I mentioned earlier, even though I’m happy that the post and video was so πŸ…ΏοΈositive, I just had a #thingsthatmakeyougohmm moment, where I just wanted to break down and cry my eyes out, to think that I even have horrible memories to look back on, dating back so many freekin years ago, and people have the audacity to wonder why I’m counting down my days so openly!!! My God, just take the time to analyze my HCYMABH page, different posts from my YouTube and many other social media platforms… A lot of things I’ve archived, because my family would be embarrassed of my transparency, and instead of me moving forward with my attempts to link with others, who were going through the same things I were; in hopes that we could support one another, to please my family… I denied myself, probably some of the best help I could have ever received smh πŸ€¦πŸ½β€β™€οΈ… Not this time dammit 😩… If it’s meant for me to live through this and finally get connected with good people, who are also suffering, and we can help one another, then that’s what will happen. #ironsharpensiron #loveyourfamily #eachoneteachone #PrayWithoutCeasing #ohana #happy

I’ve actually had some inconsistent inconsiderate therapists and counselors, one who fell asleep on me, one who reintroduced herself to me, after I’d been visiting her for months πŸ‘€πŸ‘€πŸ‘€… I’m like wtf… You can’t be serious… I just feel like it should be more than a paycheck for these people smh πŸ€¦πŸ½β€β™€οΈ… For me, I get really attached to my therapists, or I can’t disclose any personal information πŸ€ͺ… So, when you prove to me that we really don’t have a genuine caring specialist client relationship… Then I’m turned off and totally done thereafter. Nonetheless, I really thank God for the 2 miracles He performed for me today, showing that He is answering my Prayers, for Him to turn things around for me, before my plan can become a horrible reality… God knows I really don’t wanna die… Just wanna be loved, appreciated, taking serious, seen as important and worthy of life. As always, I love each of you and thank you from the top and bottom of my heart for all of your Prayers, support, likes, comments and shares πŸ˜πŸ’‹πŸ₯°πŸ’―

#PaulettePassionWilliams #PauletteWilliams #shootahdcpassion #CertifiedSTEPPAH #putemonnashirt4Passion #pluckemoff4passion #pressemout4passion

150 Days… My uneventful night put the “I” in Ironic fah sho fah sho πŸ€©

Straight out the gate, it’s no secret the types of things I mainly expound on on all of my pages… Hell, to keep it a hunnid, I really don’t even post regularly, unless I’m desperately in need of Prayer and support. Well, what do you know smh πŸ€¦πŸ½β€β™€οΈ… Last night I had a #thingsthatmakeyougohmm moment for real… Where I thought I was dying, but was begging God to save me πŸ‘€πŸ‘€πŸ‘€. I was in and outta sleep and the pain was excruciating and I honestly thought I was vomiting up my liver 😩… And I only refer to that organ, because I remember when I was a really bad alcoholic, I was always fearful that God would punish me by giving me Cirrhosis of the liver, and I don’t know if it’s true or not, but people use to tell me that if you have Cirrhosis, that your liver can become so badly mangled and choppy, that you can actually regurgitate it up πŸ˜΅β€πŸ’«… Well, let me explain… I knew that the pieces of whatever it was that was coming up and out was absolutely huge each time… To the point where it was choking me, and nobody inna world could swallow regular normal food that big period. In my head I was dying fast, and remember my lil Peaceful place I purposely snuck off to live in… Off the grid, where nobody knows the address, shewww lawd… Honey child I was wishing upon a thousand stars that at least one person had slipped through the cracks and remembered my address, from back when I shared it during my travel and could please please please please please send help smh πŸ€¦πŸ½β€β™€οΈ. I’m sooooooo happy to have finally woke up and still had all my fingers, toes, vision, taste, sight etc… I was confused asf… Like wtf just happened 😳… Shoot my niece taught us all very well, how to masticate 100 times before we devour our food dammit… So, how in the heck did I have pounds (globs) of who knows what spewing up outta me like that???πŸ€”… I was thinking, perhaps you just had a complete outta body experience and none of it happen… Uhhhhhh, I would have believed that, except for the remnants of the night before were staring back at me, from my bedside garbage can, letting me know that the former and neither the latter were so. I had indeed went through pure hell earlier and the most important point and fact of it all, is that I literally thought I was dying, but was begging for God to please save me, and spare my life… You talking about a confused individual… I’m lost lost at this point.

I went ahead and did my workout, the whole time trynna make sense of the irony of it all… Thinking, hmm maybe you really want to see if good things will happen before the 150 Days dissipate, that will make all of the horrible thoughts go away. I was on board with that thought and I added, that the way I see me going out does NOT constitute all the pain, and I started thinking long and hard about that pain, and I’ve had 4 babies, but the pain I experienced last night toppled that times 3 smh πŸ€¦πŸ½β€β™€οΈ… It felt like I was having abdomen surgery without anesthesia, and it was simply my punishment, for allowing myself to fall back into this suicidal pitiful state of mind again, when you’ve been free of it since 2017. Another #thingsthatmakeyougohmm moment… Welp, it’s true that I haven’t gone as far as to act on my suicidal thoughts since 2017, and although that appears to be a celebratory point, on the face of it all, I think it’s important to realize that some of the worst things to ever happen to me, occurred well after 2017 and I remained strong and held on to the place I’m at now, where I’m sick and tired of being sick and tired. TBH, I can admit that the other attempts were behind much more trivial things than what I’ve gone through since 2017, and I was determined not to go out weak, but to fight with everything in me and I have, unfortunately Covid-19 messed up a very good case that I had in the works, that appears to be stored away on the shelf; as if somebody’s livelihood don’t depend on a verdict, but who am I?

But, back to last night. I seriously think I was Praying to God, to spare me and explaining that it’s most certainly not my intention to neither make a mockery of Him nor give Him an ultimatum… I’m just hurting, confused, lonely, sad, miserable, devastated, in pain (literally), numb and mute for the most part smh πŸ€¦πŸ½β€β™€οΈ… It’s a heavy burden for me to go to my mailbox, brush my teeth, grease my hair, cook, bathe; and I’m a female, so God knows I’m down bad, as low as one can get πŸ₯²

The irony continues

For some time now, since I became overweight, I’ve purposely avoided mirrors, family photos and videos fah sho fah sho… But, mainly mirrors!!! Well, I had professional movers to move me in to my new home and I did all the paperwork electronically, without ever seeing my home beforehand… Covid-19 changed us and the dynamics of the way we move smh πŸ€¦πŸ½β€β™€οΈ… After the movers left I locked my door and messed around with some things in the living room and kitchen, before going to my bedroom… Omg, when I tell you I could have passed out… I’ve never seen anything like it… My entire closet is made of freekin mirror… And the movers set my darn bed up directly adjacent to it… There’s no effin escaping it πŸ€ͺ… And both of my bathrooms have damn panoramic mirrors… I’m like I’m doomed lol πŸ˜‚ lls 🀣 #bingbong can somebody send Joe Byron to help me πŸ₯° #gottalaughtokeepfromcrying

More irony smh πŸ€¦πŸ½β€β™€οΈ

Sooooooo, I stopped smoking cigarettes, where I’ve been smoking for 27 years and highly addicted, up to two and half packs per day… No exaggeration 😜… Wouldn’t you think that my breathing would be better during my workout sessions instead of worse πŸ‘€πŸ‘€πŸ‘€… Before, when I would work out and go smoke I could breathe just fine… Yes, I said I would finish working out, light a cigarette and breathe absolutely delightful… Today!!! I nearly died while on my aerobics bike… I’m like you gotta be kidding me… Am I cursed??? Wtf is really going on, that everything is in total reverse for me lately πŸ’£πŸ€©πŸ’ΈπŸ’°πŸ’΅… I don’t do well wit the unknowns and weird stuff happening… So yall Pray wit and for me… I live alone smh πŸ€¦πŸ½β€β™€οΈ and I scare easily lol πŸ˜‚ #loveyall #ThankYou #Prayer #JesusTakeTheWheel #family

#PaulettePassionWilliams #PauletteWilliams #shootahdcpassion #CertifiedSTEPPAH #putemonnashirt4Passion #pluckemoff4passion #pressemout4passion

What Is Suicide Ideation And How To Help Someone Who Is Contemplating Ending Their Life

Suicide is a topic no one discusses in casual conversation. Some may argue that suicide is just part of life and we must accept people who kill …

What Is Suicide Ideation And How To Help Someone Who Is Contemplating Ending Their Life

Most certainly another good read… I give this a 8/10… Well put together, and I most deftly appreciate all the links, the only bad thing is, I know from experience; 14 different attempts to be exact… That not only will the suffering individual not care to take the time to look for any help through clicking links in blogs… They will purposely avoid being able to call 911 for help as well. But, what’s messed up, is the mere fact that family and friends will miss helping their so called “love ones“… Due to embarrassment smh πŸ€¦πŸ½β€β™€οΈ. Each time that I’ve gone through this, I’ve been surrounded by plenty of family who was so rapped up into the fun time that was going on wherever we were, to the point where I was seconds from being saved, only because someone’s bladder was about to explode and they needed the bathroom I had escaped into. At the beginning of this year, I moved nearly 4k miles away from all my family, and nobody knows the address… If it’s meant to happen this year I’ll know, because it’ll happen without fail 😩… Although I use to be so mad after I would wake up in the hospital, because I felt like my family just wanted me to continue to suffer and they were selfish asf. But, when good things were happening for me, I was undoubtedly thankful for them being able to save my life after all. #151daysleft #JesusTakeTheWheel

#shootahdcpassion #CertifiedSTEPPAH #putemonnashirt4Passion #pluckemoff4passion #pressemout4passion