In need of HELP

Hello,

My name is Paulette Williams and I work daily for USPS and have my own means of transportation. However, as of May 31, 2016 my husband and I will need a place to stay. I can’t afford much, but I’m willing to pay our way. We will take a basement, single room, RV, or even a shed.

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I’m homeless, but my Father says… He plans to prosper me, no harm; rather give me Hope & a Future!!!

The pic is my oldest grandson, my oldest daughter’s son, you’ll meet his brother tomorrow and his Mom and Lil sister soon.

“I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

The pic is my oldest grandson, my oldest daughter’s son, you’ll meet his brother tomorrow and his Mom and Lil sister soon.God is GOOD, and I spent yesterday getting a chance to really look back on ALL the things He so Graciously saved me from… All the times I crazily put myself in harms way and He continually brought me out… Thank You Daddy 🙂

I’ve ALWAYS asked God why in the world He chose me to work for Him, when I was the worst one of my Mother’s seven children, and the other’s appeared to be a perfect fit for anything He needed done… They were more suttle and calm spirited, unlike me. But, His wants is all that matters, and I still say YEEEEESSSSSSS… Nooooooo matter the cost.

Once you surrender to God, there is no picking and choosing what you’ll allow Him to do through, for and with you… Obedience is better than sacrifice. Therefore, adhere and harken unto His calls!!!

I’m homeless, but not in despair… Trusting God against ALL odds!!!

Things got a little hectic, but I didn’t allow it to break me. A few unexpected obstacles showed face, and each time I merely drew closer to my Heavenly Father. It’s not about what I see, but rather WHO I know!!

I felt sooooooo bad, but that mustard seed Faith, that I Neeeeeevvvveeerr understood kept me pushing!!!

I surrendered my all to Him, and these small set backs don’t change NOTHING 🙂 🙂 🙂

EVERYTHING works together for the GOOD for them who love Him and are the called according to His purpose. Therefore, I’m ALL in,  “use me Lord, until You’ve used me up.

Da Ugly Ducklin – The Transparent Me 8/7/15 (DAY 19)

Today is FREE YOUR MIND FRIDAY

Woke up to car GONE… You talkin bout FURIOUS!!!

I lost the car“… Are you serious???

How your mates choice to indulge in illicit drugs creates unnecessary problems for the both of you.

Telling your grown children to live one way, but you settle for the things you’re trynna save them from… DOUBLE STANDARD

If you choose to put up with your mate… Don’t bagger them thereafter

Living with others is hard… Food issues arise, and everyone not buying household supplies… NOT FAIR

How my family is all of a sudden going through simultaneously SMH

My son’s up and coming rap career… My feelings about the uneasy content

How I want my children to get and keep my grandbabies before the face of God

How bad I want God to fall upon me on a daily basis… to help me serve Him correctly

We’re living in our last days… The signs are here… Get and/or keep yourself right in the eyes of God

My desires to be in full-time Ministry for the sake of my entire clan

Give God back His Word, He’s good to act on it, because He cannot and will not lie

Live a life of example in front of the youth around you, so that they’ll grow up successful

My husband trynna compare his wrongdoings with K2 to my old alcohol issues… Not the same!!!

Da Ugly Ducklin – The Transparent Me 8/6/15 (DAY 18)

WE CAN DO IT WEDNESDAY continued…

Worked ONLY 2 1/2 – 3 hours SMH

Don’t EEEEVVVEEEERRRR fake sick… It’ll definitely come back to bite ya in the rumpelstiltskin

Enraged at how my (thought to be) good deed was so insignificant… gggggggggrrrrrrrrrrrrrrhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!

Be careful dealing with banks, colleges, and I’ll go as far as to say that FAFSA is suspect.

Why am I still holding a FRAUDULENT check, nobody thought it to be serious enough to send anyone out… just horrible.

Day went left real quick… My manager went from 0 to 100 lol!!!

Get covered by the Union guys… They’re your safety net

Learn the rules about your rights to take off and leave work early multiple times in a specific time frame.

Da Ugly Ducklin – The Transparent Me 8/4/15 (DAY 16)

Today is TALK ABOUT IT TUESDAY

Master RESET again??? What the heck is going on with my phone… Hackers or nah?

Hair FINALLY on #fleek

Hubby back home SMH… I never got a chance to put him out and thank God I didn’t, because he’s WORKING yyyyyyyyyyyyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!

  • More money
  • Move quicker
  • No K2 smoked… Thank You Daddy.

Feeling awfully strange in my spirit… Sum just ain’t right. Can’t pinpoint it yet, but I’m feeling sum type of way 😦 😦 😦

Trust God to run your marriage… Breadwinners are NOT in control.

Prayers pay off, again I reiterate that!

Never fight against mandatory change

Do what God says no matter the cost

Personal ad (Possible Disaster)

Testimony may lead to Tricky Tracking #

Da Ugly Ducklin – The Transparent Me 8/3/15 (DAY 15)

Today is MAKE EM SMILE MONDAY

Contradictory Vlog: Yesterday I stated we must love in spite of. Then, I turn right around and ditch my husband to sleep on the streets.

Ironically, I have every reason not to smile.

My daughter nearly died behind illicit drugs.

Misplaced anger towards my mother-in-law SMH.

The BREADWINNER can’t even get a decent meal???!!!

The effects of K2 on your marriage, family and life.

Get rid of your flesh, it destroys you and others you interact with.

Should you leave your spouse for indulging in drugs, simply because they’re irresponsibly still doing it, even after something bad has happened.

Da Ugly Ducklin – The Transparent Me 8/2/15 (DAY 14)

Today is SUPPORT SOMEONE SUNDAY

Important for older children, who indulge in bad things, to have a cell phone for emergencies.

We must allow God to transform us to where we’re loving supernaturally… Not in the natural (HUMAN)

Generational curses MUST be broke

How God gave me favor while receiving beautification services

Take care of skin, feet and hair… Imperative for self-preservation

Don’t let the devil reap havoc in your relationship!!! Let God show you what’s really going on

Don’t plan how to be nice, that’s fake… Instead, allow the Holy Spirit to move through you

We are not to only love those who we’re comfortable with, but we gotta Pray about loving EVERYONE in spite of

Da Ugly Ducklin – The Transparent Me 8/1/15 (DAY 13)

Today is SEEK HIS FACE SATURDAY

  • Let God control who you date, your marriage or already established relationship (NO FORNICATING)
  • Trust God to lead you down the right path as you plan and confirm your annual vacation.
    • You’re destined to get the BEST deals
    • Reassurance that any problems, should there be ANY will be minimal to NONE.
    • You’ll find new things to do to have fun, ATTRACTIONS and ACTIVITIES will come to you like never before
  • Career choices and continuum of education… He definitely knows, and I’ll guarantee you that your new sought out and obtained profession will be one that you’ll look forward to every day.Unlike many of us, who merely go for a paycheck. Your God geared job will be one sufficient enough to retire from and you won’t have to double up (Work 2 or more jobs simultaneously)  either, because the one income will be Heaven sent more than enough… You’ll be the lender and NEVER a borrower.

Got my eyes, feet and nails done up yaaaaaaaayyyyyyy, just waiting for my stylist to grocery shop, and my hair gon be on #fleek too!!! She always flicks her wrist 🙂 🙂 🙂

PLEASE subscribe to my YouTube channel and follow me on EVERY social network that we connect in… Thanking you in advance!!!

Da Ugly Ducklin – The Transparent Me 7/31/15 (DAY 12)

Today is FREE YOUR MIND FRIDAY

Did not get my hair done 😦 😦 😦 Whole day went left!!!

No nail salon visit ggggggrrrrrrrrrrrrrhhhhhhhhhhhhh… that’s ok, because I should be off tomorrow (fingers crossed)

Baby girl doin it up in the Dominican Republic… Finally enjoying her vacation away, after a few rough patches that God helped her through.

Still Noooooooooo sleep SMH, tonight gotta be the night no doubt!

Husband finally back after another brief break-up (Talkin to me rude and harsh) That’s a no no, and automatic deal breaker – ZERO tolerance for utter disrespect.

Da Ugly Ducklin – The Transparent Me 7/30/15 (DAY 11)

Today is THANK HIM THURSDAY

Shooting in my daughter’s house (Close call SMH)

Her trip to the Dominican Republic

The 8 hours beautification process (Oh how HAPPY I’ll be afterwards)

HCYMABH… Back up and active.

Alone No More… Lying dormant, which is a GOOD thing, because nobody’s suicidal.

H.U.T. My desires for an immediate family (Annual Reunion) on a Yacht, even though I’m terribly scared of water.

TMOB – The Mouth Of Babez (New Ministry) For youth 21 and under, to learn the importance of having a relationship with God and the POWER in Prayer. Taking our children to church ain’t at all the gist of it. They MUST know what’s expected of them and all the BENEFITS within. More important, we don’t want them embarrassed or fearful to Pray to or interact with God.

Da Ugly Ducklin – The Transparent Me 7/29/15 (DAY 10)

Today is WE CAN DO IT WEDNESDAY

A day where we hold to the fact that we can do all things through Christ Who strengthens us.

My 13 yrs. old grandson arrested for a gun in his book bag. Could have caused the officers to shoot him unnecessarily.

Me experiencing Insomnia due to my being manic… Driving to work with eyes barely open SMH.

“Many are called, but few are CHOSEN”!!! Me disrespecting a coworker, then feeling awful afterwards… Open repent.

We MUST change in order to please God.

The thorn in my flesh is there for a worthy purpose.

Da Ugly Ducklin – The Transparent Me 7/28/15 (DAY 9)

 

Today is TALK ABOUT IT TUESDAY initially intended for friends and family to discuss different sermons, scriptures or Godly topics that each came across on previous days, for the purposes of readying yourselves for Wednesday Bible Study, where you’ll Prayerfully be armed with plenty of questions.

However my day didn’t begin good, and I had to vent after a crying moment, because I was so upset with my children.

Please give your opinion about the situations I discussed.

Thank God I feel 100 % better now… God Bless each of you, and may Heaven continue to smile upon you and yours

Please subscribe to my YouTube channel, and follow me on every social network where we meet up, and I’ll surely do the same for you.

Da Ugly Ducklin – The Transparent Me 7/27/15 (DAY 8)

Unbelievable!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This video is all messed up, but I uploaded it anyway, just to show how things can happen SMH. It was two parts. But, instantly one whole part… The beginning just got lost somewhere in cyber space lol. Nevertheless, the ending tells what my theory is on the shenanigans. BTW… Today is MAKE EM SMILE MONDAY!!! With all the craziness going on with me lately, I can’t do nothing else but smile!!! Enjoy guys, in spite of the beginning being M.I.A.

Whaddayaknow, here’s the lost video… I knew it’d surface SMH

Da Ugly Ducklin – The Transparent Me 7/24/15 (DAY 5)

Today is FREE YOUR MIND FRIDAY no matter what the enemy tries to throw your way DODGE it, and keep it movin. Show him he has NOOOOOOOOOOOO power or control,and will not keep you bogged down!

Chris Brown with the suicide rumors going around. I searched through several sites, only to find out the world is getting all worked up about what they’re considering to be a cryptic message on his instagram… and more can be read here http://sandrarose.com/2015/05/is-chris-brown-suicidal/ & http://sandrarose.com/2015/06/chris-brown-wont-be-around-next-year/

I Pray she’s wrong. But, I’m not too happy about the writings she wrote, and many others stated their feelings on her site.

My apologies for getting upset, after talking about the beating I received from my last husband, and not really doing well in the Vlog.

Family should always stick together and help one another out, especially during homelessness.

Parents Pray for your grown child or children who’s not doing right in the eyes of God.

Sometimes our wayward children are complete replicas of us… Hmmmmmmm!!! “Train up a child in the way they should go and when they’re old they won’t depart from it”

The affects illicit drugs had on me, and my transition into alcoholism, and subsequent deliverance from it all.

How to be the bigger person and apologize for your wrong actions when you’ve hurt someone.

How the good in your mate can help you. (My husband making me share and diminish my stingy ways).

The shooting in my daughter’s home that caused our homelessness.

Da Ugly Ducklin – The Transparent Me 7/25/15 (DAY 6)

Today is SEEK HIS FACE SATURDAY and make sure you read a scripture, Pray, Praise or Worship Him today.

Christian wife/ Muslim husband (How you interact) (Praying, Praising & Worshipping together impossible)

Me seeing the aftermath of my two sisters after getting brutally beating (Reason for my hostility toward men)

Women should stay in their place (We cannot beat NO man)

A mother’s job is NEVER done (Talk to your grown child) (Help them identify and then succeed at their goals)

Feeling ostracized after alcohol cease (How to enjoy life when everyone else still indulges)

Family should never see each other homeless (Well to do family won’t help SMH)

Never seclude your mate because you have no friends or family to chill with.

Da Ugly Ducklin – The Transparent Me 7/26/15 (DAY 7)

Today is SUPPORT SOMEONE SUNDAY and I ask that you support anyone in any capacity… Heaven smiles upon us for doing so.

This was a short video, that I’m not pleased with at all. Just had an altercation with my husband, and wasn’t feeling myself… My apologies.

Either the enemy is causing bad things to occur, because I’m following the plan of God for my life or God sees that my husband means me no well, and chose to remove him from my life.

FEEDBACK WELCOMED!!!

Da Ugly Ducklin – The Transparent Me 7/23/15 (DAY 4)

 

Not too pleased with today’s Vlog, because I got to talking about the beating at the hands of my last husband, and lost my whole train of thought… gggggggrrrrrrrrrrrrrhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Nonetheless, I went on with it, and talked about how God has kept me, and is still keeping me through all the craziness that I’ve endured and still experiencing.

Today is “Thank Him Thursday” be sure to THANK God for everything He’s done and still is doing in your life. He inhabits the Praises of His people.

*** Please comment on how you feel about poverty, generational curses, and utilizing government assistance.

Once again I ask y’all to forgive the video pauses, before you know it I’ll be making top-notch Vlogs.

As promised, I’m going to do my research on the Chris Brown incident, as it relates to what he’s experiencing with suicidal thoughts. I don’t EVER wanna mislead anyone, by giving inaccurate or totally bogus information.

Please follow me, subscribe to my channel on YouTube, and likewise I’ll return the favor.

Da Ugly Ducklin – The Transparent Me 7/22/15 (DAY 3)

Please forgive me for the dumb videos that end abruptly, without a proper outro message. But, time will definitely fix that, as I get more better at recording. Eventually, I’ll have a better device, with a huger storage. However, until then I ask you to bear with me.

I was cut off while explaining what happened with my last husband, and why we separated. As I was telling you, I made the horrible mistake of marrying way too quick from start. But, I was terribly lonely. Remember, I have ALL grown children, and they were moving on with their lives and happy for the most part… going out to eat, coupled up. Beach trips, constantly at the casino or club. Even though some of the places they frequented, I’m no longer interested in, I still wanted a mate, and I jumped at the very first chance that came my way and the latter months was beyond overkill. Not to mention the fact that I wasn’t really over my previous husband, who I’m BACK with SMH, and that’ll be elaborated on as time progresses. Moreover, I carried hurt and all types of other damaging baggage over into my marriage, thus reaping unnecessary havoc for myself.

I was constantly bickering, complaining, nitpicking and physically abusing this man, and he held it all in until it came out in the worst way on that gruesome night, turned morning, beat down that I received, where God once again spared my life. now, this time, I wasn’t able to drive myself to the hospital like before and not because of any physical impairments. But, primarily because my husband didn’t want to leave me alone with in the ER, in fear of me contacting the police.

Enough of that already though, before too much explaining rolls into flashbacks, and emotions causes diverse reactions. I can’t say when I’ll discuss it. But, I wanna give my testimony about my reunification with my third husband, and how we’re doing now.

Da Ugly Ducklin – The Transparent Me 6/28/15 (Trial run – My first video trying out Vlogging)

This is my first attempt at Vlogging, and it was in June… I never could get the videos uploaded, so I completely gave up. But, I started back a month and a half later, and those are the videos on the site that are still not as good as I would like for them to be. But, I feel confident that I’m finally doing what’s pleasing to God. Even though they’re choppy and some are too long, in my opinion. Nevertheless, it satisfies my charge from above.

To recap: I discussed my reasons for getting away from the whole psychological team of nitwits, and it’s simply because thy weren’t doing me any good whatsoever!!! In fact, I spoke out about two drugs specifically that I’m not to fond of at all, and that’s Trazodone, because it causes shortness of breath and makes me feels anxious, and as if I’m hyperventilating. And lithium simply because I’m worried about any medication that gives cause for my blood to be continually monitored SMH… Nope, I’m GUCCI!!!

To add, I don’t know how to put the fact that I see NO need for repetitive trips to see therapist and psychiatrist no clearer than I have, with so much seriousness to back… I mean it’s absolutely ridiculous to make all these appointments, in an effort to find the “NORM” as most people call it, to no avail. I’m through being toyed with!!! Together with God and the testimonies of overcomers I’m gonna master my care without fake anecdotes and meaningless couch conversations.

I mentioned the stabbing that gave rise to my arrest, that aided in my eventual psychological assessment and corrupt diagnosis. My daughter, her husband and I were on our way home from picking him (her husband) up from his granny’s house when I rode up on the worse scene I’d ever encountered. My husband, openly walking with a female, who I later found to be his mistress for several months prior… I literally lost my mind. How dare you!!! Right in the neighborhood we met and married in. That’s making a total mockery of me, seeing as how EVERYONE knows we’re married, and have been together for three years before this craziness, and you even have the audacity to flaunt her around, while still bringing me around your friends and family members, who obviously knew about your secret rendezvous. But, continued to smile in my face as if everything’s all well and fine… Some nerve SMH. Nevertheless, the whole ordeal plays out with me going with the police, him with the paramedics, and the floozy running away, at record speed, with my Tasmanian devil daughter in HIGH pursuit lol. That was a day I never wanna see again, and Prayerfully no one else has to ever experience.

Da Ugly Ducklin – The Transparent Me 7/21/15 (DAY 2)

I’m sooooooooo happy… God tells us to take the first step, out on Faith, towards any endeavor, and He’ll provide the INCREASE. I did just that, in spite of all my insecurities and uncertainties, and each video is getting better as I go.

To elaborate, the messages above refer to some hard times I experienced years ago while I was still a babe in Christ, and not at all able to properly rationalize, and almost lost my life because of it on several occasions.

Also, spoke about Miracle Man, a vessel for God who also ran from his calling, and underwent a detrimental mishap before totally surrendering, and is now disfigured for life.

I can’t believe I took this long to heed to His (God’s) beckoning, for me to open up in this way. I actually like it, and Prayerfully it’ll help as many people as possible, to heal, and also the feedback that I receive will enhance my healing process as well.

I love being able to expound on the GOODNESS of God, as in He as been ever so present and helpful in my life from day one. And even though I’m going through a trying time right now, I know undoubtedly that none of it is in vain, and I’ll reap the benefits soon enough if I faint NOT!!!

The Transparent Me (Day 1)

This is the start of a new way I’m going to interact. I’ve been blogging for years, to no avail, and I earnestly believe that it’s meant for me to visually convey my messages. To be honest, it took me this long because I’m not happy with the way I look on camera. But, If God has a purpose for you, you’ll get it done, according to His Will eventually… No matter how long you run.

I don’t doubt that the reason I’ve been going through soooooo much is due to my procrastination and fear. “NO MORE”!!! I’m BAAAAAACCCCCKKKK, and I know I’ve said that many many times before, then I’ll fall away again… My apologies, trust me I’m full to the brim, and it’s about to spill over… Don’t believe me JUST WATCH 🙂 🙂 🙂

Failed Suicide Attempt Brings Entire Family To GOD… Next tragedy leaves man blind and DISFIGURED for life.

All my life, throughout EVERY attempt I’ve ever made, I’ve been in close proximity to artillery, but was always to scared that I’d mess up and end up a vegetable and a burden on my children. This very last time in February 2014 I was hurting so bad that if I had a gun close by I would have used it. But, God makes no mistakes… Normally I only get storage bins with 24 hr. access. But, this particular company I was with closed their gates at nine. I was furious at the time, because I simply didn’t wanna be here any longer, and didn’t want the wait time that came with overdosing, and figured the gun shot would be quick and easy. Obviously that wasn’t then, and never will be part of God’s Mighty plan for my life.

Thank God for this family though, that a wonderful outcome resulted from what the father went through. In the end they ALL serve God together. He really got transformed while still in the hospital. His wife bares witness to the fact that he would write notes pointing his family to Christ amidst his pain. And even more, he’s ABSOLUTELY drug free… God is phenomenal!!!

What upsets me the most about this tragedy is the fact that he not only lost his sight, but he’s disfigured for life and has no real love ones around regularly for support. For me, every attempt was an attention seeker, and this last attempt showed me just how much my family and friends truly did love me. They were responsive very quick and remained supportive throughout my hospital stay and for some time afterwards too. They called the hospital back to back, it’s four of them, seeking updates on my status and possible discharge arrangements. Even though I was saddened that I ha scared them so bad, in the same token. I was happy that they finally exemplified the love and attention that I was crying out for. I was totally lonely and needed them badly. But, they were too busy with their own affairs. Believe it or not, the close relationship we developed after the attempt was short lived so to say, because they’ve returned to their old ways of putting me second to last. But, it in no way affects me like before. I’ve come to grips with the fact that they now have their own affairs to tend to, and I have God and Jesus right by my side, and I’m perfectly alright. As with the man in this video, he says he’s ok with the fact that no one comes around, at least he has a better life then before.

Alone No More wants to stop attempts from happening at all, by being available 24/7 and right at the tip of any in need’s fingertips. We wanna Pray with them, and express our testimonies, in an effort to deter the thought altogether. Please donate and share the gofundme link… Thanx bunches

http://www.gofundme.com/h2r43w

Suicidal thoughts affecting siblings… The devil is a LIAR!!! God’s still in CONTROL

This makes me sooooooo sad, to see that a sister transitions intermittently from fearing that her brother would commit suicide, to her herself experiencing overwhelming thoughts of it too SMH.

Yes, it’s likely and normal for family members to follow in each other’s footsteps… Like going into law enforcement, medicine, acting or modeling… That’s all well and fine. All three of my daughters mimicked me studying to become a Medical Assistant and eventually working successfully in the field… Now, that’s something to be proud of, especially me, as their mother, I feel as though I was a phenomenal role model.

On the other hand, suicidal thoughts and tendencies running ramped throughout a household of siblings is a sure enough reason to call together a group of missionaries for the purpose of intercessory Prayer… It’s a message in that happening, it’ll require much supplication in order to get to the root of it all. I don’t believe in or would never express to this family that I was concerned that someone had worked some type of witchcraft on them, casting mind controlling spells on them, because I’m sure that I’d be instantly discredited. But, in trying to analyze what could possibly be going on with them, that was a thought that crept in my mind, to no avail… Even though I threw it out there, trust me it holds no relevance and not even meant to be our true source of conversation. Plllleeeeeaaaaassssseeee act as if it were never mentioned, and instead focus on what ways we can help this family and undoubtedly many other families who also need assistance, as they’re going through this same kind of problem.

Alone No More is a ministry still in its infancy stage, that can deftly be beneficial in such times as these. But, we need help with funding, so that a proposal can be composed for grant monies that’ll be used to bring the whole entity together. Donate any amount, even if it’s $1, every cent helps and also share the link on your site(s). And know that it’s greatly appreciated… Every life counts, and those who are hurting simply needs the love, care, concern and compassion that this ministry’s team members will gladly offer.

https://funds.gofundme.com/mobile/dashboard?url=h2r43w

bekindbethoughtful

There are many things that are hard in life. We often have conflicts and dilemmas that stay with us for certain stretches of time. Sometimes they stay for hours, sometimes days, and sometimes they stay with us for years.  The things that make our lives hard are usually not things at all. They are thoughts.

I paused before I knocked on the door. There was slight apprehension in doing so because of the unknown.  What didn’t I know? What do I always fear when knocking on this door?  Whether or not my brother will have killed himself. I used to occasionally fear this, in an abstract manner, but as his outward signs of depression worsen the idea seems less abstract. Sometimes I find myself angry at him because is being selfish and not doing what he needs to be doing. But then there are the days when I feel sad…

View original post 79 more words

With God ALL things ARE possible… This journey takes Faith and supernatural strength!!!

19 days away from the BIG 45, and I’m embarking on a transition that I know will be trying… And this is when I look to see my help ever so near.

Even my PCP advised that I don’t attempt this, while still experiencing such traumas that bring about anxiety, stress and inevitably depression. But, he doesn’t know the Special help I’m relying on at this juncture in my life!!!

My health depends on this change… There’s mornings I wake up and my chest feels like an elephant has escaped the zoo and is now utilizing me for his/her resting post… Totally unacceptable; the huge mammoth & the disgusting, expensive, stinky, lung inhibitors can goooooooooooooooo far far away from me!!!

I’m ooooooooohhhhhhhhh sooooooo done! Now I say that with a reserve pack within arms reach, and they’re still here because I’ve vowed to quit after devouring the last one. I know there’s trillions of you who’ve either already conquered what I’m about to face or you may even be with me at the beginning stage of your cessation add well ggggrrrrrrhhhhhh.

Whatever the case, let’s be each other’s networking empowerment. We MUST get through this, and doing it together will deftly make it much easier. This is when I’ll for sure watch my Faith be activated; every time a craving comes I’ve gotta quickly run fast as I can, like Forest Gump, to God… And y’all remember he had them braces on his legs, and eventually they fell right off… That’ll be me, once God truly delivers me, the very thought of the stupid Lil things will turn my stomach.

Soon I’ll be at the place where the smell of them nauseates me, and that’ll be a good thing for once… Crazy enough, I hate nausea with a complete passion. But, I’ll undergo it for a few ticks, long enough to be sure that I Neeeeeevvvveeerr relapse.

Just imagine all the money Imma save. Prettier skin, whiter teeth, fresh smelling breath, no more people running for dear life when I talk… Joke lol. I’ll be able to run up stairs, all the waaaaaayyyyyyy to the top!!! Where I use to have stop multiple times in between SMH. Most important though is the fact that my vessel will finally be all the way useful for God… Hallelujah!!!

Let’s do it guys… Nooooooo more cigarettes… Starting, when my last one is finished… Stay tuned, to be continued 🙂 🙂 🙂

BnfEnT (CEO Son Son – DMV)

Testimony service is OFFICIALY open…. And I’m FIRST!!!

Growing up every time I seen anyone crying I assumed they were sad… On day my mom explained to me that people can actually shed TEARS OF JOY. That made me feel better… Now today I have my own reason to cry out thank You a trillion times to God, and I’m trying so hard to squeeze out some tears, to triple express my appreciation to Him… But, they won’t come. Nonetheless, He knows my heart, and how happy I am.

This is how I feel right now…

Those who follow me know that I keep intermittently having bouts of distraction and deterrence from the dumb devil. But, God has used all of you and the Holy Spirit to keep me sustained… kudos to yunce. And it gets better… This morning I finally opened a letter from a Prophet who regularly sends me messages from God… He was telling me that I had unknowingly opened the door to satan’s venom… of course I got all scared, but not bent outta shape!!! Immediately, I anointed myself with oil, and cried out to God. You talking bout supernatural/miraculous change, help, Blessings etc. flowing from on high. Thereafter, I picked up my phone to see a dreadful email from my ONCE auto insurance company, going in on me… boutta make me get all upset and cry bad tears… not the ones of JOY this post is referring to. But God!!!   He said, uhhhhh get rid of em!!! Just like that… Plain and straight to the point, in His still CALM small little voice lol. I wasted no time… Powered up the ole laptop, and got to surfing. Normally, this can be a draining process, having to search through several companies before you’re satisfied… Nope!!! Quick and easy, remember… I’m the King’s kid 🙂 🙂 🙂   Google always categorizes companies according to popularity and/or ratings. Whatever the case, the first one got stuck just spinning, supposedly looking for my driving and previous insurance history, and I’m like Nooooo waaaaayyyyy nobody can have that many tickets, not to mention it’s really only concerned about moving violations, and I own NONE! My Daddy said… move on to the next… Y’all already know my lil obedient self… I did so, and it was on and poppin from there…

I wanted to do this

but my husband would’ve probably called the ambulance lol… He’d been scared outta his wits. Can I tell you, I was expected to pay $416.92 on June 10th, but God turned dat thing AAAALLLLLLLL the way around… $126.37!!! And I know yawl probably thinking like I was, some of the coverage probably changed… No indeed, same coverage, and get this… SOME EXTRAS, and lower deductibles!!! I had my deductibles at their peaks, to keep my premiums down… But God! No More worrying about budgeting this and scarcely paying that… Forget about robbing Peter to pay Paul too… My Daddy is RICH… I reiterate, He owns the cattle on a thousand hills. Now let me run and get this money from my son, to put back in the bank, before it overdraft frfr… Lol, had to leave on a funny note. Especially since lucifer and his lil ugly creäture lookin imps been bothering me gggggggrrrrrrrrrrrrrhhhhhhhhhhhhhh…. I’m gone… Enjoy y’all day!!!

Tribute to suicide victims – YouTube

http://de.gofund.me/h2r43w

Please go through each link, and realize, especially through their Facebook posts, that these were once normal individuals, living out each day… Then, something happen!!! Most had an abundance of friends and family interacting with them regularly SMH… Alone No More wants to get to the root of the issues and be able to, with the help of God Almighty, stop suicide altogether.

http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/fredericknewspost/obituary.aspx?pid=167476731

Jessica Gladhill

https://www.facebook.com/jessica.gladhill


http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/hartfordcourant/obituary.aspx?pid=166939399

Todd Dorey


http://www.suttonguardian.co.uk/news/8327340.Triple_suicide_family_torn_apart_by_fourth_death/

Anna Borau

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1356031/How-mother-bear-After-suicides-child-lost-legal-high.html


http://worlddestiny.proboards.com/thread/11146

Destiny Grindstaff


http://www.findagrave.com/cgi-bin/fg.cgi?page=gr&GRid=82774735

Isabel Borau


https://www.facebook.com/neil.lal

Neil Lal


http://www.horancares.com/obituary/Sterling-Alexander-Malec/Northglenn-CO/1123023

Sterling Malec

https://www.facebook.com/events/482613408437952/


http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/deseretnews/obituary.aspx?n=jason-mark-ainsworth&pid=156091670

Jason Mark Ainsworth

http://www.findagrave.com/cgi-bin/fg.cgi?page=gr&GRid=85735259


http://www.newsargus.com/obituaries/archives/2007/04/15/nathan_lynn_ford/

Nathan Ford

http://nathan-ford.virtual-memorials.com/

Post from HCUMABH 6/28/14

ATTENTION: If you have a friend or loved one who suffers from a mental illness, make it your business to implement a plan of action for the time when you notice that they’re in a stupor.

Which means you need to dedicate time now to figuring them out through and through, and Plleeeaaaasssseeee don’t have the attitude(s) “That’s their problem, they better deal with it, and stop being weak.” Or “Bless their lil heart, I’ll be Praying for em.” Or here’s a good one… “I’m not feeding into them, they just want attention.” Duhhhhh, that’s exactly what WE long for and NEED.

Trust me, the illness is real, and NOT something that should be taken lightly, and this goes for both parties (the ill and the should be help mate). Especially when thoughts of suicide have EVER come in to play, if not treated correctly, the attempt will eventually turn into a well thought out success, and that’s going to be detrimental TRUST me.

For me, at this moment, my mind is clear, and I’m realizing that my situation can be used to help others, just by conducting prominent research and collectively keeping this page updated with cases of people who struggled for years, without getting proper love, attention, medication and guidance, and ultimately ended their lives… SMH.

You are OUR brothers/sisters keeper, and those who can’t help themselves needs you… be there for them.

BnfEnT (CEO Son Son – DMV)

My journey

In 1993 I first learned of God in a way that would truly be beneficial to me, opposed to what I was accustomed to as a child, at my Grandma Toads’ house, having the missionaries come over every Sunday morning, to teach the household how to live right.

Then, I was way too young for any of the teachings to take root, and change my sinful ways. All I did was watch the clock, waiting for the lady to leave, so I could get to play outside. Although the atmosphere was always structured, and the lessons placed before me contained pertinent tips that could have saved me from most of the heartache I endured after becoming an adolescent, I never forced myself to listen, thus reaping havoc in every arena of my life thereafter.

Today, I’m determined to get it right, and seek Gods’ face like never before. I know firsthand that He’s a keeper, and He rewards anyone who diligently pursues Him. I can bear witness to Him being GREAT, because I had a chance, for a couple of years to have Him working closely with me, once I surrendered my all to Him, and asked Him to lead, guide and direct me. However, I took the wheel again, and it wasn’t until a couple of months ago that I realized I absolutely need Him at the forefront of my life or I’ll either end up in hell or a jail cell, and neither of them are an option for me. I have eleven (11) wonderful grandbabies that not only depend on their parents for moral support, and look for a positive role model. But, also they definitely expect me, the overseer of the entire clan, to have myself in order, so they’ll know how to conduct themselves.

Back in the day, I use to attend these cell groups, that were so helpful and conducive for me but I can’t find them in existence any more… SMH!!! They were a plus, because each new comer was teamed up with a seasoned member, and the two would schedule Prayer allotments and we would also meet for mid-week Bible studies at one or the other’s home, and that getting together like that always carried me over until Sunday morning worship service. Thinking about those days makes me laugh, because my children would be so angry, because I was so thirsty for Christ that we basically lived in church. Twice on Sundays (AM & PM) services, choir rehearsal on Tuesdays, Bible Study on Wednesday, and the cell groups took place every other Friday… I miss that… It sure did me some good. But, I unfortunately allowed my flesh to take over, and I backslid. Nonetheless, I’m happy to know I serve a God that shows forth Grace and Mercy to every one of us. He knows we can’t keep ourselves, and our flesh craves after the ungodly things of the world… But, it’s our responsibility to remain GROUNDED and ROOTED in the Word, so that we’ll have the power to fight against temptations as they rise.

Tonight, I take the initiative to reconstruct the old workable cell groups again. So, if there’s any God fearing women, who feel just like me… You have a desire to do right, but you need that extra push, let’s team up together and PUSH each other into Heaven’s gates. It’s important that we Pray without ceasing and read God’s Word, and we can make it happen as long as we have FAITH the size of a mustard seed… I’m waiting, inbox me please 🙂

BnfEnT (CEO Son Son – DMV)

I give myself away

“I give myself away”

William McDowell – I Give Myself Away:

New dedication, new mindset, new task, and onward for Christ Jesus!!!

Last I posted, I was steadfast on the fact that I was waiting for and believing God, against all odds, for a breakthrough in my once chaotic relationship, and that my ex would eventually call, and we’d be miraculously reunited.

Without fail, God gave me my hearts desire, because that’s one of His promises, in His Holy Word, and He’ll never disappoint. Easter morning the phone rang, and I purposely held my composure, to not let him know that I was anxious to hear from him, we talked, and hooked up later that evening. You won’t believe it was a complete disaster!!!

Now, I could’ve been angry with God, asking what kind of games are You playing, it wasn’t suppose to turn out that way. But, I kept an open mind, and looked at it all from a different perspective. I was the one begging for this, so God did in fact Bless in my favor. But, that had absolutely nothing to do with the way my ex was feeling about us, and God could’ve very well changed his heart throughout the course of the day, to make him be receptive and approachable during our rendezvous. But, God is gentle and won’t even force us to do right by Him, make less force any of us into a relationship we’re not interested in pursuing.

With all that said, I just knew after parting ways with him that I’d sink into the deepest depression I’d ever experienced… Nope, total opposite! God gave me the presence of mind to thank Him for the opportunity, grab my phone and block communication, and carry on with the work He has lined up for me to perform. Not one tear fell, I actually got an instant burst of energy, as if I were renewed through and through.

Immediately, I came to the realization that my ex’s job in my life was finished, he had done what God needed him to do, and that was to bring me back into full knowledge and association with Him. God has ways of getting our attention, and my ex was purely the conduit that kept me on my knees and ever before the face of God crying out for direction and deliverance from the mess I had once again entangled myself in.

Believe it or not, all are not intended to be married, it is written. So, I’ve relinquished all to God, telling Him until He sees fit for me to be with someone, I’ll remain His servant, and happily work on His battlefield without contempt. I surrendered my all to Him, to use me as He pleases, knowing deep in my heart that happiness will follow my endurance, if I faint not.

R.I.P. Paulette “Passion” Williams-Murphy

Normally, this would be a time of sadness, mourning, grieving, and a lot of tears being shed. On the contrary, I’ll tell you firsthand… Let any tears that flow be ones of JOY, for this is a glorious time for anyone who experiences this type of death (DYING TO SELF). Where you take on the John 3:3-7 type of death and burial, which totally denounces the flesh and all its wicked desires all together.

Believe me, I’m haaaappppyyyy as a Lark, for I know it’s all uphill from here… Nooooooo good thing will God withhold from me now, because I took the initiative to put Him first and at the forefront of my life, and teach me how to Walk in newness, and I’m excited to proclaim the effects of the Holy Spirit living within and controlling my everyday activities is purely evident.

Thursday, I went to the nail salon, for beautification purposes, and my eldest daughter later joined me, and it was amazing to her how good I was doing upon her arrival and the farewell before leaving… Her jaws dropped, and she just had to say something, which made me even happier about my transformation… Her words were  “wow, I can’t believe what I just saw, maaaaannnnnnn you’re doing good lately, you’ve really changed”!!! That’s how it should be, I don’t have to run around hollering (I’m a Christian)… No indeed, it should be apparent, when people watch you, that God is working out your Salvation, and removing EVERYTHING that could ever inadvertently hinder your Walk.

See, she was use to me coming home with stories about me cursing an artist out, boutta fight somebody, or totally getting banned from the establishment… ” NO MORE “ all those negative attributes, characteristics, and ill personalities are finished… Just like Jesus himself declared as He took His last breath!!!

Ain’t Nooooooo stopping me now. Long lines in grocery stores can’t get me upset, hideous traffic no longer upsets me, people backbiting and gossiping about me can’t get me to respond… That old person, with all those chaotic ways is DDDDEEEEAAAADDDD!!!

Avoid LONELINESS and settle for utter DISRESPECT

Not!!! I just gotta keep myself busy… Maaaaannnnnnn, I thought surely by today at least I’d be feeling a llliiiitttttttllllleeeee bit stronger geeeesssssshhhhh :-(:-(:-(:-(:-(

Then, I thought about firing back up my Tagged and Kik accounts, perhaps that’ll keep me occupied. But, that’s simply a temporary cure, in a place where I need a permanent healing… Daddy, I need You!!! This is one of them times where I could use a great big fatherly hug, and lay my head on His shoulder and cry for a few ticks (((((((TEARS)))))))

Nonetheless, before I’ll save myself from the broken feelings and bring him back, only for me to risk another broken heart in two to three weeks… Nooooooo, I won’t even put myself through the agony. I know all too well that he’ll Neeeeeevvvveeerr change! So, let me stop allowing him to take me down on a monthly basis… With no remorse each time. Of course, he does his whimpering, just to get his foot back in the door. But, obviously it’s not sincere or it wouldn’t be a repetitive norm for us… I’m fed up to the max!!!

Therefore, self you had better snap outta this craziness, of even considering to let him come back into your life, to destroy you over and over again! Where’s your self worth? That inkling that says to you… “Girl, you’re beautiful, and any real man, in his right mind, would love to have you, and treat you like the Queen God intended”

As long as I keep settling, why should he change, if nothing forces him to??? There’s never no repercussions for this unfair treatment, he’s just out of the house for a couple days, then brought right back, to get all the rewards a good husband deserves, and I’m sure he laughs deep within; like “look at this retard, I can do anything to her, and she’ll keep taking me back” and that helps him think I have low self esteem, and accept his mess, because I believe I can’t do any better than him… Lies you tell!!! And I’ll show you this time around… Trust me, I’ll be strong before you know it, and I will move on for sure :-):-):-)

No lookin BBBBAAAAACCCCCKKKKK, I’m gone Mr Maaaaannnnnnn… You lost out, and that’s not a threat, but a promise!!! One man’s trash will be another man’s treasure… Don’t believe me… Just WATCH :-):-):-)

Grace is not an excuse to sin… Instead, it’s the POWER of the Holy Spirit, WHO helps you not to!!!

Just because we have Grace available to cover us, when we accidentally mess up, that don’t mean that we should arbitrarily do wrong. Yes, God is merciful and He’ll forgive us each time we fall short, but Plllleeeeeaaaaassssseeee believe punishment is adamant.

If you’re living in an adulterous relationship, know that you’re playing with fire and take a stand today to get out of it. You’re playing with God and straddling the fence, and before long He’ll release you over to the enemy, and allow him to consume you.

You may be committing a sin, and thinking it’s partly Ok, because it’s your only way to make ends meet (prostituting, selling drugs, embezzlement, etc.) STOP!!! God has your back, and I know that’s easier said than done, especially since I can’t say I know what you’re experiencing… No I can’t, in that aspect. But, I’ve been in predicaments where I had to totally Trust God and He deftly came through for me.

I had four babies with Nooooooo food to feed them, and God sent a lady shopping for us and she arrived at our home with her trunk and back seat full of enough food to last us at least two months… So, I can bear witness/attest to His remarkable capabilities.

God knows all our needs, but we still have to Pray to Him for the help we need. Going back to the affair, if it’s been years, I can only imagine how hard it’ll be to sever all ties with the one person you love most… Do it, without thinking twice, and watch God show up and show out for you. The person He’ll send will be ten times better, and most important, they’ll be yours 🙂

Before we were even formed in our mother’s womb, God already had a map laid, allotting exactly how He wanted the course to go, of course it’d be wonderful if we had a copy of the plans, and could walk it out, then we more than likely wouldn’t veer. On the other hand, it is what it is, we have to patiently wait on God to give us bits and pieces, and we simply have to Trust Him to make no mistakes. In the interim, we get into all kinds of craziness, trynna rush into success, happiness, prosperity or wealth… Whatever the case, it’s not part of God’s blueprint and must go, in order for us to ever have the pleasure of enjoying the goods He has in store for us.

Each morning, die to self and allow the Holy Spirit to take over and watch how much better your day unfolds. For those settling for illicit money making schemes, I know it sounds ludacris that you should walk away from the only thing that’s been feeding your family for all these years… But, you must put all your Faith in God, that He’ll make ways for you, when it looks like there’s no way. That’s when it’s gonna be amazing and He’ll get the most gratitude, and He loves every bit of that… When you’re able to testify on how you went cold turkey, Trusting Him fully, and He not only came through, but He went beyond your expectations. God is Marvelous, Miraculous, Rich, Compassionate, Affectionate and Powerful.

Once He sees us putting forth an effort… That’s His invitation to jump in and the rest is history. Therefore, do what’s Godly right to do, and utilize Grace appropriately 🙂 🙂 🙂

Da APPLE don’t fall far from Da TREE

Proverbs 22:6
6 “Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.”

Starting October 26, 1993, following this charge was imperative in my life, and I set out to do just that… In fact my children say they couldn’t wait to get grown, so I couldn’t FORCE them to go to Church any longer. I mean we attended service EVERY time the doors opened, I may have over did it! But, that was because of my lifestyle before transformation, and my believing that we needed extra cleansing, in order to be RIGHT with God. Nonetheless, the Word never lied, because my babies know the goodness of God, and He’s Who they depend on in the time of troubles. To add, they have dignity and integrity, due to the long hours we spent with God. Therefore, it panned out to be worth it :-). Now, let’s meet my clan… I just love these little critters 🙂

My oldest: Kia D. Johnson

kia red

We call her the “Grandma” of the family, because she has an old soul lol. She’s married to her Junior High school sweetheart, and they have three wonderful babies. On Kia’s wedding day, I dedicated a marvelous song to her, and she and I danced together to it… We had a great time in the Lord.

It’s been crazy throughout Kia’s life, we use to think we were twins somehow… because if I got sick, within days she’d come down with the same sickness. If I got a scratch or scar, before long she’d have the same one in the same place… weird but amazingly cute and sentimental. Kia’s personality is unimaginable, I’ve always told her no matter how much the enemy tries to get you to change, by making you think you humble ways allows people to walk all over you… never change, because God made you the way you are, and many people would die to be that way, you merely have the Fruits of God’s Spirit operating inside… Be Thankful!

Me and Kia have worked together at several different companies, to include our current positions with the USPS, where we’ve been employed for nearly three years. God is AWESOME 🙂 🙂 🙂

Here’s Kia’s oldest Bryius, we’re believing God that he’ll play either professional football or basketball. He’s humongous, but in a good way – He has the height to dunk the ball, and the weight to tackle on defense… God makes NO mistakes!!!

drama

I love this kid to pieces, always giving of himself to help others, just like his Mommy… Keep up the GOOD work Drama, Nana sees all! Here is Kia’s second oldest Bry’kuise, we’re believing God that we’ll see him on the big screens. He’s so talented, and has been doing skits and mimicking movie scenes for years now… his day is coming real soon… Thank You Daddy in advance 🙂

dank

Remember this lil handsome face, because you’ll definitely see it again… Nana’s Child Prodigy. Lastly, we have Kia’s only girl, who she Prayed for and wanted so bad… Here’s Blessed

diva

Too early to know what God has in store for her, but I know it’ll be WONDERFUL… Because He wouldn’t have it no other way. He never desires for us to live in lack and a mediocre life.

Next, meet my only son Vincent who built a entertainment business from the ground up, and he works full time as a manager at a lucrative bread company… Vincent was Blessed with optimum rap skills, and has already put out one mix tape… He always makes Mama proud. He has two biological children and one step son. Here’s Vincent

son son

Look for him, performing, in your city in the upcoming months. Very creative lyricist, with 10k fans all across the country… Keep going baby, take us to the top!!! Vincent’s oldest is a beautiful little girl, who the enemy is keeping from us at the moment. But, Prayer changes everything! So, even that situation will eventually unfold in our favor. Meet Najea

najae

I love you baby girl… People use to think she was my daughter, she looks so much like me… In due time you’ll be back with us if I faint not, and keep doing right by God. Here’s Tonio, Vincent’s son through common-law marriage

tonio

This young man has been with us since the age of two, and we love and accept him just like the rest. Last for Vincent is his twin baby boy fatty

fatty

He too will play some type of sports professionally, his body structure says football, and just know we’re totally behind you baby boy… go for it! Your sky has no limits 🙂

Next, meet my Mini-Me,

mia

everybody says she not only looks just like the younger me, but she has all my personality traits as well. She too followed in my footsteps career wise and is currently employed at USPS. And there’s something else special about this young lady, she gave us the first set of twins in three generations… blew my mind when I heard they were coming, and it’s been astonishing watching them thus far… Twins are unique, the way they interact with each other and the world, and these boys are tricking us already and they’re only two… If you ask them their names, they switch up on you… so cute :-). Thank God they’re fraternal or we’d be in trouble lol! But, here’s Mia’s first girl Zai’kiyah

ky

This is the Mommy of the younger ones, she gives all the orders, and really knows how to apply make up too lol. Next , we got Zai’Riyah

ry

You can tell by the pic, she got personality… But, believe it or not, she’s quiet and shy. Now, the grand finale for Mia is the infamous twins… meet Marvin & Malone

twins

these babies are a MUST see… so much different than my children and my other grandchildren… they were truly cut from a different cloth SMH 🙂

The last of the Mohicans is my baby girl Anthonya,

noodles

I’m so proud of her, she successfully finished her training course, in Nursing Assistance and went on to get state certified, and is employed at Howard University Hospital and has one little girl Ms. Xoe

xoe

.

Family is my number one priority, and seeing to it that we all live right is a must!!! I’m a stickler for Prayer, and having a concrete relationship with God, and I do my best to make sure my children instill nothing but the best in their children… for they are our futures.

From PITIFUL to POWERFUL

Pitiful: Sad, Miserable, Insufficient, Pathetic, Poor, Meager & Trifling

“NO MORE” I’m in CONTROL, with the HELP of Christ, in determining the course of my life, and I decide that the above words DONOT define me!!! I have set my standards and expectations high, and will move on towards my destiny in newness. I decree and declare that I won’t be a slave any longer to the sins that use to have me bound. Instead, each day I’ll surrender my ALL to God, and allow Him free reign in my life.

Before this, I had to drink every day, just to be able to be sociable, if not I was irritated and angry. Not, knowing that I was actually doing myself an injustice, because the temporary fix was doing nothing but damaging my organs, while appearing to keep me happy. Any mind-altering substance that we take pleasure in, and allow the enemy to trick us with, only separates us from God. True, we live by Grace, and Thank God for that! Nonetheless, we are responsible for our actions, and willfully sinning definitely warrants repercussions and punishment. Several of my friends and love ones today are suffering from or have died from cirrhosis of the liver, which is a direct derivative of chronic alcoholism… Lord I Thank You for deliverance 🙂

Powerful: Strong, Sturdy, Robust, Solid, Influential, Dominant, Compelling, Convincing & Persuasive 🙂

Nooooooooooo Stopping me now… I move through life these days with assurance, never PROUD though! I will never lose my humbleness, because I know God can snatch it all in a blink of an eye. And it’s never been me to make anyone feel inferior, and besides, God is no respecter of person… What He’s done for me, He’ll definitely do for the next. That’s why my Prayers aren’t self-seeking. Rather I Pray for EVERYONE to be Blessed, Successful and Happy.

God’s Word states: For the LORD God is a sun and shield: the LORD will give grace and glory: no good thing will he withhold from them that walk uprightly.

With that ^^^^^^ in mind, I keep in mind ALL the good things that I want to occur for me and mine, and Thank God in advance for them, in Faith, that they’re coming in His time. I look at it like this… The Blessings God has for us are humongous, and we have to be ready for them, that’s why the cleaning/purging process had to take place in my life, and once He feels that I’ll be a good steward over what He gives me… I’ll soar 🙂 🙂 🙂 I’m getting CLOSE, no doubt… I can feel and see prosperity all around me each day… and like always; Daddy, I Thank You for all You’ve done, doing now, and gonna do for us all… Have YOUR way in our lives… And much appreciation and GRATITUDE sent Your way merely for Who YOU are… Love You to pieces 🙂

Traveling the long road HOME

Ultimately, EVERYONE wants to end up in HEAVEN opposed to thinking about spending eternity in hell, where you’ll burn forever, with no likely relief. Not to suggest that it’d ever be ok to end up there, but if you knew you were damned to burn for ONLY a certain amount of time, then maybe it wouldn’t be so scary. On the other hand, you’ll never be able to escape torment and turmoil… It will be excruciating pain and agony.

Therefore, start TODAY living your life in a way that you’re confident that you’ll be a worthy candidate for HEAVEN. And we do this by having and keeping a close relationship with God, studying His Word, Praying to & Praising Him, and following His Commandments. Making it to HEAVEN requires that we have an intimate relationship with God and accept that Jesus is His ONLY begotten Son, sent to die on the cross for the remission of our sins. That’s what Praise is all about; even if we don’t have nothing, in our minds, that brings about excitement, the mere fact Jesus suffered in our place is reason enough.

All He went through FOR US should cause us to Praise Him regularly!!! Just think of the troubles you’ve faced and near death experiences you encountered or never even have to face, simply because He paid it forward SMH. How could we even second guess living right, to show our appreciation for His sacrificial death? To me, we make a mockery of Jesus when we willfully sin and dance around with the devil on a day-to-day basis, as if what He did for us was mediocre… He was human, and the lashes He took to His flesh was REAL.

I put emphasis on TODAY because tomorrow ain’t promised to any of us… Death is adamant, there’s no question that we all will leave this earth someday. The imperative question at hand is where will our Spirit go thereafter? Choose now, to surrender your all to Christ, first thanking Him for His offering on our behalves. Then, ask Him into your heart, mind and soul, to help you live upright daily. Although, He knows our shortcomings, still confess them aloud, and allow Him the ability to help you get it right, so that you’ll be PLEASING in His sight. Earth ain’t my home! I don’t know about y’all, but I’m overjoyed about and can’t wait so see my mansion in Heaven, not only for the beauty within. But, more because I know I’ll never worry, cry, hurt, be sad, mad, envious, nor distraught again :-).

God loves us unconditionally, and it’s NOT His desire that ANY of us should live in lack or perish… Let Him in, it’s nothing like a connection with God and the reassurance that HEAVEN will eventually be your peaceful HOME. See ya there 🙂

Aunt Diane (Documentary)

This here show made me appreciate God more, simply because I have been delivered from alcohol and drugs. The events that played out in this documentary took me back to some miserable places in my life, and the tears I shed weren’t sad ones, but rather for the joyous fact that I’ll Neeeeeevvvveeerr undergo nor put myself through turmoil anymore.

Multiple DUI’s didn’t make me stop drinking and driving, and I could’ve killed one of my loving grand babies in 2010, driving erratically, at speeds reaching 91mph, I was a mess, and had no regard for human life whatsoever during this time. That’s why I can’t Praise God enough, I could be locked away for awhile or even ddddeeeeaaaadddd SMH… God is AWESOME, and He’s better to us then we are to ourselves.

Not to mention the marijuana addiction, I caused my baby daughter significant development delays at birth, but once again all Praise to God… Today she’s gainfully employed, out on her own and you wouldn’t even know she literally lived in a long term care facility for the first sixteen months if her life.

Back to the documentary… Without speculating about what actually happen that day and whether Diane intentionally took her life… One more again I have to PRAISE God for bringing me through 12 unsuccessful suicide attempts and fixing my life to the point where suicide will Neeeeeevvvveeerr be a thought that crosses my mind again. To add, there’s accusations that Daniel (her husband) was having an affair, and that led to her actions that day… God, You’re amazing, because I’ve dealt with and no longer bogged down with infidelity and adultery occurring in my marriage anymore… Daddy, You’re absolutely THE BEST!!!

But, we must seek His face and allow Him full reign in our lives, then all the issues we face He’ll handle shonuff!

If you’re HAPPY and you know it clap your hands… CLAP, CLAP!

Praise Is What I Do – William Murphy: http://youtu.be/vIPKnj-0Czw

God inhabits the Praises of His people. When our Praises go up, showing gratitude adoration, admiration and appreciation, undoubtedly an abundance of Blessings WILL come raining down.

We take the good God does for us for granted far too much. The food He provides, the homes we live in, the vehicles we drive, the bills we pay, the safety we enjoy, the clothes on backs, etc. None of those things do we technically deserve, it’s only because of His Grace and Mercy that we’re not consumed, and being Blessed with more than enough or at least what is sufficient to sustain us.

Even aside from all the STUFF He does for us and gives us, we can do Him the Honor of thanking Him just for Who He is in our lives… Without Him there’d be no you!!! He saw fit to breathe air into your lungs and give you life, that wasn’t His duty… Lest we should have the attitude “uhhhhhh, that’s His job” – Nooooooo pumpernickel bread… He owes us nothing, and Him providing for us definitely deserves a round of applause… I mean that’s the least we can do, considering we’re not barely getting by. Rather, we’re living an amazing, wonderful and awesome life.

Make it a practice each day, to spend the first couple of minutes Praising God, telling Him how Good He is, and thank Him for what He’s done, doing and going to do for you and yours. Plllleeeeeaaaaassssseeee, refrain from asking for anything during this time, just let Him get His shine on 🙂 He loves to feel puffed up, and deserves every second of it. By the way, even if you miss the quality time with Him at the start of the day… Don’t trip, He Neeeeeevvvveeerr sleeps nor slumbers! The same way you can access Him in a state of an emergency – when in need. Likewise, He’s open for our outpour of Praise 24/7/365 as well. Sooooooo, let’s make Him HAAAAPPPPYYYY by making crescendos happen.

From suicide to HOMICIDE… Lucifer flat lined

Keep calm crime scene investigators… Dusting for prints NOT necessary! No need for forensics, ballistics nor toxicology reports… I plea NO CONTEST… I’m guilty as charged with this massive 187. This slaying tops David and Goliath and is well overdue!!!

I could claim self-defense, since he’s been nitpicking and attempting to destroy my life for umpteen years. Anyone in their right mind would agree I’m justified for this massacre 🙂

All the obnoxious suicide attempts you caused, how does it feel, now that the shoe is on the other feet, and you’re bogged down, with Nooooooo control? You feel helpless right??? Do you feel like everything you’ve lived for and tried to build has been snatched out from under you… Good! What goes around comes around jerk… Karma’s a b!+©π huh???

All the sleepless nights, swollen eyes, war wounds, adultery, punches, kicks, spit in my face, sexual abuse, jail terms, loose living (sexually) and poverty I endured, because you had me brainwashed SMH!!! Nooooooo MORE 🙂 The same grave you dug for me on several failed occasions you’ll rest in starting TODAY.

You’re through being my puppet master; stringing me along into every sin imaginable. And I’m extra careful to make sure you’ll Neeeeeevvvveeerr get a chance to wreck my grand children’s lives, that’s why killing you off all together is a MUST! No more making me feel inferior, and telling me my crazed and deranged way of acting was Ok… Just blame it on bipolar. Nope, I’ll never settle for mediocrity. Jail cells and mental institutions look nuttin like the mansion my Daddy has for me.

I could go on listing all the chaotic mess you once had me indulging in, but it’s pointless and gives you too much credit, that you’re in no way worthy of… You’re merely the scum beneath my shoe. So take this death sentence and leave me, my family, my finances, my health, my job and relationships alone for GOOD!!!

I’m in control now sucka lol… My Daddy gave me power over you; to trample you underfoot, and with that being said… Ssssqqqqquuuuaaaasssshhhh – you’re gone!!! (((TOODLES)))

Dysfunctional family… Be NOT bitter or dismayed

 

1 Peter 2:9-10

9 “But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light. 10 Once you were not a people, but now you are the people of God; once you had not received mercy, but now you have received mercy.”

No doubt, living in or being a product of a dysfunctional family can definitely be overwhelming. But, what matters most is your attitude, actions, reactions and responses. Make it a daily habit to remind yourself that you’re not in this alone. God placed you there for a purpose, and He’s surely with you through it all.

In most cases, your charge is to become that beacon of light and set apart from the rest. So that you may lead the lost ones to Salvation. Hard I know, but not impossible! Determination and repetition is imperative, and not you merely giving lip service, about what everyone else needs to do. Rather, you are to be the model they can follow and appreciate… Live a righteous life of example before them, and before you know it conversion will run through each person like a domino effect.

You may be thinking “Things are too bad here, nothing will ever change the course of this household”. Not true, God already knows about the drug usage, verbal & mental abuse, theft, lies, gossip, backbiting and slander; to say the least, that you endure regularly, and He wants you to know He’s well pleased with your staying abilities. Moreover, your breakthrough is near, and He’s about to turn every test you’ve passed into TESTIMONIES.

You did well in refraining from murmuring and complaining… Never considering yourself to be a victim. Instead, you remained strong as a VICTOR!!! Keep up the good work fam, everything is working in your favor. Look to see change very soon… But, you gotta believe. No matter how it looks, even if the enemy tries to show you reasons why God can’t possibly be on your side… Shut him up with your Faith, by exclaiming the goodness of God thus far.

Now, walk with pomp and circumstance, into your destiny, knowing that you’re more than a conqueror 🙂

The Winans Millions: http://youtu.be/So_LUItMFc8

U say “IMPOSSIBLE”… God says it’s on its way!!!

It’s NOT about what you know… But, rather WHO you know, and I repetitively decree and declare that Imma child of God, an heir of God and a joint heir with Christ Jesus 🙂 🙂 🙂 Noooooooooo good thing shall EVER be withheld from me.

Daily my DADDY is teaching me how to walk in this newness, I mean everything about you MUST convert WHEN you give YOUR life to Christ wholeheartedly. God WILL show you how NOT to settle for functioning in dysfunction… before, I was a total wreck, worrying about this, and trynna fix that… “NO MORE” God says to me, instead I am to worry about nothing and PRAY about everything 🙂 🙂 🙂

God is showing me that His Favor is ALL over me, and Blessings are IN deed tracking me down. ALL God needs from me besides my sanctification and righteousness, is for me to be transparent with HIM about my desires… HE says “write the vision and MAKE it plain!” Because I’m destined for wealth, healthy living and success… God gives me the opportunity to let HIM know exactly how I WANT my mansion to look… even down to the furniture, curtains, nick nacks and artwork.

Fam, if you’ve given YOUR life to Christ and you’re confident that you’re at least trying YOUR hardest to walk upright before HIM, then TRUST and believe that you’re fearfully and wonderfully made, and NO good thing shall EVER be withheld from you either… what God does for one of His, He’ll DO for ALL. Day by day God is shedding low self esteem, negative thinking, problems, hate, envy, strife and jealousy from me… It’s NOT of HIM… therefore, it has NO place in me 🙂 🙂 🙂

My DADDY determines I shall live an abundant, prosperous and FAITH filled LIFE, and Noooooooooo weapon formed against me shall prosper. Kinda cliche right??? “NO MORE” living average or in poverty… feeling like JUST making it is ok… mediocrity isn’t in my DNA… My DADDY owns the cattle on a thousand hills… and what father don’t WANT the best for his child???

Fam, monitor the way you think… tell YOUR children and yourself constantly ALL good things are ahead… KEEP YOUR mind stayed on God, and He’ll KEEP you in perfect PEACE… Neeeeeevvvveeerr forget, an idle mind is the devil’s playground… and he’s NOT to get one second to be lackadaisical in OUR quarters point blank period!!! Adhere to the words I speak, and know that what Blessings I receive is stored up for you as well… JUST give YOUR life to Christ and He’ll MAKE it alright.

Jesus saves!!!

My MICROWAVE help :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-)

God is AWESOME, I mean I sit in awe of how HE shows up and shows out for me, and Fam believe me… HE can and will do the same for you.

ALL day I’ve been smiling, and I know my son MUST think I have special powers lol. Nope, I JUST have a POWERFUL connection with my father, who controls everything earthly, and surprisingly sped up the process on NOT one thing, but HE speedily delivered several things to US in record times. NOW tell me HE ain’t tight!!!

Normally, I’d have to sit on hold with my insurance company, and maybe get transferred to like eight DIFFERENT people before my PROBLEM would be resolved… NOT anymore, my DADDY has me at the forefront, like I’m Obama’s daughter or somebody of real importance… that lady answered the phone, hit a few buttons and wallah… documents transmitted way across town, to alleviate my predicament… Ohhhhh yoppington 🙂 🙂 🙂

My condo had my money tied up… supposedly, the hold wouldn’t drop off for seven to fourteen days… NOT for me, the conference call took perhaps 17 minutes at most… and what do you know… you’ll Neeeeeevvvveeerr guess… I’ll tell you… RELEASED!!! Imma child of the most high God… Noooooooooo good thing shall EVER be withheld from me…

Normally, when I have to go do bills each month, I dread the wait time at the post office… honey, let me tell ya… Ms Thang must’ve had her Wheaties this morning… because she whipped through at least ELEVEN of us in a matter of 23 minutes… when I walked in, faces were sour, people looking intermittently at their watches, and shaking their heads in frustration… but my PRESENCE; all filled with the marvelous Holy Spirit… the atmosphere changed for the BETTER, and things got cracking… that’s HOW my DADDY twerks!!!

I JUST love God, because I see things looking up for me, in MORE ways than one… This is off subject, but a MUST tell… I see a therapist EVERY week… the same lady each time… let me tell you HOW my DADDY fixes situations in OUR lives… the therapist has to come to the lobby to take you BACK to her office. She steps out, calls my name, I walk towards her, she extends her hand and introduces herself… weird but intriguing… with a shocked look I said to her… Uhhhhh, we’ve met, it’s me Paulette… She nearly hit the floor… I looked Soooooo good, she couldn’t believe it. Now I’m NOT tooting my own horn… instead giving Praises to God for IMMEDIATE healing and transformation.

Fam, this testimonial TODAY is for ALL to see the goodness of God flowing EVER so graciously IN my LIFE… and guess what… IT JUST gets BETTER WITH time.

Jesus saves!!!

With is GOOD… But, in is BETTER… It’s time!!!

Practical relationships pertain to those whom we’re WITH at any giving point (siblings, co workers, physician, mate, child, friend or even strangers on public transportation or individuals you pass while shopping). However, phantom on what it’s like, to have the goodness of the Holy Spirit living within you. Boy oh boy, what a relief it is 🙂 🙂 🙂

Change is adamant and evident… the places you use to go start to disgust you, when you ride by the same club you once frequented, and see the beautiful ladies with their revealing attire on, you may have the audacity to turn up your nose at them, and shake your head in utter disbelief, that any female would EVER dare to carry herself in that manner… shame on her!!! Giiiiirrrrrrrlllllll, how soon Weeeeeeeee forget. If it weren’t for Grace, you’d be in line with, before or after her… MORE than likely, looking much skankier… Soooooo, PRAY for your sister “NEVER look down on a man/woman, unless you’re picking them up… don’t get it twisted. God loves ALL alike 🙂 🙂 🙂

But, let me NOT act like those wonderful PRAYER instincts kick in normally… Lawd Noooooooooo, humans are naturally judgmental, unless you’ve been converted and filled with the marvelous Holy Spirit I interjected earlier… He brings about the difference in US… Him flowing through US unctions US to change OUR actions, reactions, responses and remarks.

Being changed wholeheartedly causes you to care more about others and their wellbeing. So, when you cross paths with anyone who suffers from or struggles with what you were delivered from, your heart will go out to them, in ways that wants them to have the good life you NOW experience.

Remember the individuals WE live WITH, trust me we’ll NEED the Holy Spirit daily, in dealing with them, JUST to help us cope. Take for instance siblings… the mass majority of us either gossip together or about one another… That’s Ohhhhh Soooooo wrong, get that out you quick… it’s NOT godly nor healthy. So, cut it off at the root.

Co workers, jealousy may be an issue here… “for real, Bonquisha got a promotion, hmmmm she MUST be sleeping with somebody”… don’t do that, slander is horrible and can mess up people’s reputation. Mind your business, PRAY and ask God for your increase, and Thhhaaannnkkk God for blessing Bonquisha, and you’ll be NEXT.

Children, uh Ohhhhh… them lil rascals drive you to drink… too bad, you gotta love em and encourage them… be careful not to curse at em, take misplaced anger out on them, and Neeeeeevvvveeerr downgrade them… rather build them up, tell em they’re attractive, smart and destined for success… and I reiterate, this won’t be easy tasks, if attempted alone… NO way, you deftly NEED the Holy Spirit living within you, in order for you to refrain from fleshy ways.

Common people in the streets… they gon test you… That’s life, but HOW you respond makes ALL the difference. You can choose to fly off the handle, and risk possibly going to jail unnecessarily or you can allow the Holy Spirit to have His way in the matter, and KEEP the PEACE. Of course, we weren’t raised to be punks, and that’s fine and understandable. But, avoiding chaos doesn’t suggest that you’re less than; actually it proves YOUR growth and level of maturity.

Fam, I can’t emphasize enough, the fact that I know this sudden transformation and humble approach to life’s tests WILL be hard… But, know that it’s proven to be rewarding for me… NOW follow me as I allow the Holy Spirit to lead.

Jesus saves!!!

Which eyes will I view the world through TODAY

Good question, but it won’t take a rocket scientist to help me figure out the NO brainer answer… Deftly, I choose to allow the Holy Spirit within me to TOTALLY take control and assist me in seeing EVERY aspect of my interactions in the supernatural.

There’s absolutely no way that’ll I’ll give the enemy the chance to corrupt everything I stand for and believe in ANY further… true, he’s doing things that should have me curled up in a fetal position, somewhere contemplating suicide… But, the God I serve won’t allow him the pleasure.

Grant it, I’m human… Soooooo, NO doubt my emotions are running rapid, while I attempt to figure out why the bad is coming down so rambunctious. And it’s simple… the devil knows his time is thin. So, he’s stirring up a world wide mess before he loses his grips altogether. My reason exactly for staying so close to God… face it Fam, we NEED protection out here nowadays, from dangers seen and unseen.

No, I don’t attend church as regular as I’d like to. But, God stretches beyond those four walls… he’s omnipresent (EVERY WHERE) and easy to tap into. I beg of each of you, to please purpose in YOUR life, for you, your friends and your love ones, that you will get in the habit of talking to God daily… before even stepping out of bed if possible. If NOT, maybe while you’re brushing your teeth, taking your shower, preparing breakfast or even driving to work… just enter into His presence, first with thanksgiving in your heart, and praise coming from the depths of your inner being… then, invite Him into your day, to control everything you say, think, eat… the places you go, and the people you come in contact with… this type of surrendering is important, because the enemy is sneaky and has devious plans set before each of us that God can already see with His omniscient capabilities, and He’ll be able to deviate it ALL only after you’ve given Him permission.

God says cast OUR cares on Him, and that’s deftly what we need to do, without worrying that we’ll overload Him with difficulties selfishly… Worry NOT, nuttin you could EVER face can overwhelm God… What we deal with is mediocre to Him. Therefore, follow me as I change the lenses of how I’ll view life and the chaos coupled with it, and choose also to let Jesus obscure the vision of the flesh, and rather help you to see ALL from a FAITH filled – heavenly perspective.

Jesus saves!!!