From March 30, 2014

Before walking in to work, I was vexed in my spirit because the word “capsize” continued to maneuver through my brain. Instantly, I looked the word up, to obtain a better understanding of what, if anything, God was trynna show me, but the definition was disheartening and scary; so I prayed for EVERYONE then posted my Lil warning… Nonetheless, I still didn’t feel the settling within that I expected or shall I say like what normally occurs following intercession… That comfort that overcomes me, reassuring me that all is well. However, I proceeded on, setting up my work station, entrusting all to my Father… Then, a small still voice spoke “your life” I’m like huh??? Again, He reiterated “YOUR LIFE, and went on to express to me that my life is getting ready to flip for the better… Everything about me has to and will change… Not as time passes on… Ohhhhh no my dear, you don’t have that type of time… You have known about your calling since 1993 but never hearkened… No, I won’t force Myself upon you, for I’m a gentleman at best. But, know that I have work for you to do and it’s NOT optional”!!!

On any other day, this experience would have scared me outta my wits… But, God is a God of order, and disarray fits no where in His schema… Therefore, His omniscient powers already for seen this turn of events, and He had me prepared… For the past three days, there’s been no Drake, Sevyn Streeter nor Lil Wayne bumping through my Bluetooth, instead, I’ve been eating good from none other than Bishop T.D. Jakes, and his messages have all been flowing in the direction God needed me to trod.

Even writing about it now I can feel God’s presence and His fresh anointing is ever so near and comforting… I love You Daddy, and I thank You for Your patience, grace and mercy that’s always shown evident in my life… Even down to the generation that my grand babies are living out now… You talking bout AWESOME; there’s absolutely NONE like You, and most definitely, I say yes to Your will and way for our lives… All 16 of us… To include (My four and their eleven) 💓

Nothing beats insolvency but a TRY!!!

Because I love YOU

Grant it, we all go “THROUGH” rough times, and understandably so, considering our Father own the cattle on a thousand hills!!! The devil BIG mad or little mad??? Without a shadow of doubt, know that He’s got the WHOLE world in His hands, and it ain’t but so much lucifer can do to us and keep us ostracized, bound, sad, hurt ad plenty more other bouts of emotions his wicked curve balls attempt to invoke once twirled.

The emphasis put on through shows that there’s a pot of gold at the end of EVERY RAINBOW, we just gotta remain steadfast and keep right on PUSHING… Love yall to pieces… Stay Encouraged and Prayed Up 🙂

When the Lord Frustrates His Child

Isaiah 14:27

It may sound strange, but I actually get excited about certain times of frustration. When I sense a restlessness followed by dissatisfaction but cannot identify the cause, then I know to ask the Lord what He’s doing. Past experience tells me that once I make the move He desires, my frustration will end and I’ll be in sync with His plan for my life.

Frustration is usually considered a negative feeling. However, when God agitates us, His purpose is always good. He sometimes uses our sense of dissatisfaction as well as spiritual and physical barriers to guide us toward new insights. For example, I woke up one Saturday morning during my seminary years feeling as if I were in an emotional butter churn—I could not settle to any task or relax, and I did not know why. So I started praying about these feelings and asking the Lord to reveal His will. I spent most of the day on my knees. Soon I discovered that the good plans I had made to temporarily pastor a California church were not His plans. Had I ignored the frustrated feeling, I would have missed a vacation to North Carolina, which resulted in a call to the church God intended for me.

In a culture of busyness, we can easily and foolishly overlook or ignore restlessness. But divinely sent frustration is meant to get our attention. God wants us to ask, “What are You saying?” and “Do You want me to be doing or thinking something different?” As soon as we are willing to deal with whatever the Lord brings to mind, He starts revealing what we need to change in order to receive His insight.

In need of HELP

Hello,

My name is Paulette Williams and I work daily for USPS and have my own means of transportation. However, as of May 31, 2016 my husband and I will need a place to stay. I can’t afford much, but I’m willing to pay our way. We will take a basement, single room, RV, or even a shed.

“Any man be in Christ is a new creation, old things are passed away, behold ALL things are become new!!!”

The pic is my oldest daughter; my BEST friend frfr… Yeah, we clash ALL the time. Buuuuuutttttttt, God got us, we’re probably just tooooooo much alike!!! I mean we did basically grow up together SMH.

Guys, God is beyond good, He’s AWESOME, MARVELOUS & MAGNIFICENT!!! I haven’t stopped smoking since yesterday around 2 pm… My entire evening was wonderful 🙂 🙂 🙂

I really, really, really, really enjoyed my time spent with ALL my children and grandchildren… Buuuuuutttttttt, it’s BEST expressed in the Vlog… Take a look ^^^

I’m homeless – counting my Blessings, and naming them 1 by 1… Never desolate!!!

So, here is the mom of that Lil laughing baby… This is my youngest daughter, and the Lol babygirl is her only.

Sooooooo excited, I went to Bible Study last night!!! The teaching really hit home for me… Encouraging me to keep on working. With ALL the chaos and inconsistencies, I honestly considered going back to disability, just to keep a leveled head. Buuuuuutttttttt, God already gave me the answer on that one SMH… And I’m glad He said Nooooooo frfr, because I’m not one for laying around and being lazy. That’s why my children are probably hiding out from me lol, because they know the drill is coming to any one of them that’s not on somebody’s payroll or an entrepreneur.

I almost got myself in trouble again at work today, and once you hear the story you gon be like “girl, I would’ve rung your neck myself if I’d been there ggggrrrrrrhhhhhh”!!!

Nominated for an Award… Yayyyyyyy!!!

First let me give honor to our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ, then of course I would like to thank http://motherofnecessity.net/ for seeing me as a worthy candidate.

In turns, I nominate her and I wish I could do more, because plenty of you have been wonderful to me. But, we can only do 15, and here they are.

1. http://motherofnecessity.net/
2. http://thelivingmessage.com/
3. http://cuppajoeandthou.wordpress.com/
4. http://nutsrok.wordpress.com/
5. https://sarahsatticoftreasures.wordpress.com/
6. https://plainmommy.wordpress.com/
7. http://thepurplecouchblog.com/
8. http://deceptiveinfluences.com/
9. https://fromcrazywithlove.wordpress.com/
10. http://manuscriptwarfare.wordpress.com/
11. http://egyptenglish.com/
12. http://stayinginstep.com/
13. https://writetobreakthrough.wordpress.com/
14. https://hasmeetwrites.wordpress.com/
15. https://tboisuites.wordpress.com/

I reiterate, I wish there was no limit of the people you could add, because my list would go on forever, as I give recognition to the ones of you who’ve been so good to me through ALL my struggles, pain and suffering, in an acknowledgment of your true skills and writing capabilities. Thanx to everyone. Love you guys to pieces.

Da Ugly Ducklin – The Transparent Me 8/7/15 (DAY 19)

Today is FREE YOUR MIND FRIDAY

Woke up to car GONE… You talkin bout FURIOUS!!!

I lost the car“… Are you serious???

How your mates choice to indulge in illicit drugs creates unnecessary problems for the both of you.

Telling your grown children to live one way, but you settle for the things you’re trynna save them from… DOUBLE STANDARD

If you choose to put up with your mate… Don’t bagger them thereafter

Living with others is hard… Food issues arise, and everyone not buying household supplies… NOT FAIR

How my family is all of a sudden going through simultaneously SMH

My son’s up and coming rap career… My feelings about the uneasy content

How I want my children to get and keep my grandbabies before the face of God

How bad I want God to fall upon me on a daily basis… to help me serve Him correctly

We’re living in our last days… The signs are here… Get and/or keep yourself right in the eyes of God

My desires to be in full-time Ministry for the sake of my entire clan

Give God back His Word, He’s good to act on it, because He cannot and will not lie

Live a life of example in front of the youth around you, so that they’ll grow up successful

My husband trynna compare his wrongdoings with K2 to my old alcohol issues… Not the same!!!

Da Ugly Ducklin – The Transparent Me 8/6/15 (DAY 18)

WE CAN DO IT WEDNESDAY continued…

Worked ONLY 2 1/2 – 3 hours SMH

Don’t EEEEVVVEEEERRRR fake sick… It’ll definitely come back to bite ya in the rumpelstiltskin

Enraged at how my (thought to be) good deed was so insignificant… gggggggggrrrrrrrrrrrrrrhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!

Be careful dealing with banks, colleges, and I’ll go as far as to say that FAFSA is suspect.

Why am I still holding a FRAUDULENT check, nobody thought it to be serious enough to send anyone out… just horrible.

Day went left real quick… My manager went from 0 to 100 lol!!!

Get covered by the Union guys… They’re your safety net

Learn the rules about your rights to take off and leave work early multiple times in a specific time frame.

Da Ugly Ducklin – The Transparent Me 8/4/15 (DAY 16)

Today is TALK ABOUT IT TUESDAY

Master RESET again??? What the heck is going on with my phone… Hackers or nah?

Hair FINALLY on #fleek

Hubby back home SMH… I never got a chance to put him out and thank God I didn’t, because he’s WORKING yyyyyyyyyyyyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!

  • More money
  • Move quicker
  • No K2 smoked… Thank You Daddy.

Feeling awfully strange in my spirit… Sum just ain’t right. Can’t pinpoint it yet, but I’m feeling sum type of way 😦 😦 😦

Trust God to run your marriage… Breadwinners are NOT in control.

Prayers pay off, again I reiterate that!

Never fight against mandatory change

Do what God says no matter the cost

Personal ad (Possible Disaster)

Testimony may lead to Tricky Tracking #

Da Ugly Ducklin – The Transparent Me 8/3/15 (DAY 15)

Today is MAKE EM SMILE MONDAY

Contradictory Vlog: Yesterday I stated we must love in spite of. Then, I turn right around and ditch my husband to sleep on the streets.

Ironically, I have every reason not to smile.

My daughter nearly died behind illicit drugs.

Misplaced anger towards my mother-in-law SMH.

The BREADWINNER can’t even get a decent meal???!!!

The effects of K2 on your marriage, family and life.

Get rid of your flesh, it destroys you and others you interact with.

Should you leave your spouse for indulging in drugs, simply because they’re irresponsibly still doing it, even after something bad has happened.

Da Ugly Ducklin – The Transparent Me 8/2/15 (DAY 14)

Today is SUPPORT SOMEONE SUNDAY

Important for older children, who indulge in bad things, to have a cell phone for emergencies.

We must allow God to transform us to where we’re loving supernaturally… Not in the natural (HUMAN)

Generational curses MUST be broke

How God gave me favor while receiving beautification services

Take care of skin, feet and hair… Imperative for self-preservation

Don’t let the devil reap havoc in your relationship!!! Let God show you what’s really going on

Don’t plan how to be nice, that’s fake… Instead, allow the Holy Spirit to move through you

We are not to only love those who we’re comfortable with, but we gotta Pray about loving EVERYONE in spite of

Da Ugly Ducklin – The Transparent Me 8/1/15 (DAY 13)

Today is SEEK HIS FACE SATURDAY

  • Let God control who you date, your marriage or already established relationship (NO FORNICATING)
  • Trust God to lead you down the right path as you plan and confirm your annual vacation.
    • You’re destined to get the BEST deals
    • Reassurance that any problems, should there be ANY will be minimal to NONE.
    • You’ll find new things to do to have fun, ATTRACTIONS and ACTIVITIES will come to you like never before
  • Career choices and continuum of education… He definitely knows, and I’ll guarantee you that your new sought out and obtained profession will be one that you’ll look forward to every day.Unlike many of us, who merely go for a paycheck. Your God geared job will be one sufficient enough to retire from and you won’t have to double up (Work 2 or more jobs simultaneously)  either, because the one income will be Heaven sent more than enough… You’ll be the lender and NEVER a borrower.

Got my eyes, feet and nails done up yaaaaaaaayyyyyyy, just waiting for my stylist to grocery shop, and my hair gon be on #fleek too!!! She always flicks her wrist 🙂 🙂 🙂

PLEASE subscribe to my YouTube channel and follow me on EVERY social network that we connect in… Thanking you in advance!!!

Da Ugly Ducklin – The Transparent Me 7/31/15 (DAY 12)

Today is FREE YOUR MIND FRIDAY

Did not get my hair done 😦 😦 😦 Whole day went left!!!

No nail salon visit ggggggrrrrrrrrrrrrrhhhhhhhhhhhhh… that’s ok, because I should be off tomorrow (fingers crossed)

Baby girl doin it up in the Dominican Republic… Finally enjoying her vacation away, after a few rough patches that God helped her through.

Still Noooooooooo sleep SMH, tonight gotta be the night no doubt!

Husband finally back after another brief break-up (Talkin to me rude and harsh) That’s a no no, and automatic deal breaker – ZERO tolerance for utter disrespect.

Da Ugly Ducklin – The Transparent Me 7/30/15 (DAY 11)

Today is THANK HIM THURSDAY

Shooting in my daughter’s house (Close call SMH)

Her trip to the Dominican Republic

The 8 hours beautification process (Oh how HAPPY I’ll be afterwards)

HCYMABH… Back up and active.

Alone No More… Lying dormant, which is a GOOD thing, because nobody’s suicidal.

H.U.T. My desires for an immediate family (Annual Reunion) on a Yacht, even though I’m terribly scared of water.

TMOB – The Mouth Of Babez (New Ministry) For youth 21 and under, to learn the importance of having a relationship with God and the POWER in Prayer. Taking our children to church ain’t at all the gist of it. They MUST know what’s expected of them and all the BENEFITS within. More important, we don’t want them embarrassed or fearful to Pray to or interact with God.

Da Ugly Ducklin – The Transparent Me 7/29/15 (DAY 10)

Today is WE CAN DO IT WEDNESDAY

A day where we hold to the fact that we can do all things through Christ Who strengthens us.

My 13 yrs. old grandson arrested for a gun in his book bag. Could have caused the officers to shoot him unnecessarily.

Me experiencing Insomnia due to my being manic… Driving to work with eyes barely open SMH.

“Many are called, but few are CHOSEN”!!! Me disrespecting a coworker, then feeling awful afterwards… Open repent.

We MUST change in order to please God.

The thorn in my flesh is there for a worthy purpose.

Da Ugly Ducklin – The Transparent Me 7/28/15 (DAY 9)

 

Today is TALK ABOUT IT TUESDAY initially intended for friends and family to discuss different sermons, scriptures or Godly topics that each came across on previous days, for the purposes of readying yourselves for Wednesday Bible Study, where you’ll Prayerfully be armed with plenty of questions.

However my day didn’t begin good, and I had to vent after a crying moment, because I was so upset with my children.

Please give your opinion about the situations I discussed.

Thank God I feel 100 % better now… God Bless each of you, and may Heaven continue to smile upon you and yours

Please subscribe to my YouTube channel, and follow me on every social network where we meet up, and I’ll surely do the same for you.

Da Ugly Ducklin – The Transparent Me 7/27/15 (DAY 8)

Unbelievable!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This video is all messed up, but I uploaded it anyway, just to show how things can happen SMH. It was two parts. But, instantly one whole part… The beginning just got lost somewhere in cyber space lol. Nevertheless, the ending tells what my theory is on the shenanigans. BTW… Today is MAKE EM SMILE MONDAY!!! With all the craziness going on with me lately, I can’t do nothing else but smile!!! Enjoy guys, in spite of the beginning being M.I.A.

Whaddayaknow, here’s the lost video… I knew it’d surface SMH

Da Ugly Ducklin – The Transparent Me 7/24/15 (DAY 5)

Today is FREE YOUR MIND FRIDAY no matter what the enemy tries to throw your way DODGE it, and keep it movin. Show him he has NOOOOOOOOOOOO power or control,and will not keep you bogged down!

Chris Brown with the suicide rumors going around. I searched through several sites, only to find out the world is getting all worked up about what they’re considering to be a cryptic message on his instagram… and more can be read here http://sandrarose.com/2015/05/is-chris-brown-suicidal/ & http://sandrarose.com/2015/06/chris-brown-wont-be-around-next-year/

I Pray she’s wrong. But, I’m not too happy about the writings she wrote, and many others stated their feelings on her site.

My apologies for getting upset, after talking about the beating I received from my last husband, and not really doing well in the Vlog.

Family should always stick together and help one another out, especially during homelessness.

Parents Pray for your grown child or children who’s not doing right in the eyes of God.

Sometimes our wayward children are complete replicas of us… Hmmmmmmm!!! “Train up a child in the way they should go and when they’re old they won’t depart from it”

The affects illicit drugs had on me, and my transition into alcoholism, and subsequent deliverance from it all.

How to be the bigger person and apologize for your wrong actions when you’ve hurt someone.

How the good in your mate can help you. (My husband making me share and diminish my stingy ways).

The shooting in my daughter’s home that caused our homelessness.

Da Ugly Ducklin – The Transparent Me 7/25/15 (DAY 6)

Today is SEEK HIS FACE SATURDAY and make sure you read a scripture, Pray, Praise or Worship Him today.

Christian wife/ Muslim husband (How you interact) (Praying, Praising & Worshipping together impossible)

Me seeing the aftermath of my two sisters after getting brutally beating (Reason for my hostility toward men)

Women should stay in their place (We cannot beat NO man)

A mother’s job is NEVER done (Talk to your grown child) (Help them identify and then succeed at their goals)

Feeling ostracized after alcohol cease (How to enjoy life when everyone else still indulges)

Family should never see each other homeless (Well to do family won’t help SMH)

Never seclude your mate because you have no friends or family to chill with.

Da Ugly Ducklin – The Transparent Me 7/26/15 (DAY 7)

Today is SUPPORT SOMEONE SUNDAY and I ask that you support anyone in any capacity… Heaven smiles upon us for doing so.

This was a short video, that I’m not pleased with at all. Just had an altercation with my husband, and wasn’t feeling myself… My apologies.

Either the enemy is causing bad things to occur, because I’m following the plan of God for my life or God sees that my husband means me no well, and chose to remove him from my life.

FEEDBACK WELCOMED!!!

Da Ugly Ducklin – The Transparent Me 7/23/15 (DAY 4)

 

Not too pleased with today’s Vlog, because I got to talking about the beating at the hands of my last husband, and lost my whole train of thought… gggggggrrrrrrrrrrrrrhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Nonetheless, I went on with it, and talked about how God has kept me, and is still keeping me through all the craziness that I’ve endured and still experiencing.

Today is “Thank Him Thursday” be sure to THANK God for everything He’s done and still is doing in your life. He inhabits the Praises of His people.

*** Please comment on how you feel about poverty, generational curses, and utilizing government assistance.

Once again I ask y’all to forgive the video pauses, before you know it I’ll be making top-notch Vlogs.

As promised, I’m going to do my research on the Chris Brown incident, as it relates to what he’s experiencing with suicidal thoughts. I don’t EVER wanna mislead anyone, by giving inaccurate or totally bogus information.

Please follow me, subscribe to my channel on YouTube, and likewise I’ll return the favor.

Da Ugly Ducklin – The Transparent Me 7/22/15 (DAY 3)

Please forgive me for the dumb videos that end abruptly, without a proper outro message. But, time will definitely fix that, as I get more better at recording. Eventually, I’ll have a better device, with a huger storage. However, until then I ask you to bear with me.

I was cut off while explaining what happened with my last husband, and why we separated. As I was telling you, I made the horrible mistake of marrying way too quick from start. But, I was terribly lonely. Remember, I have ALL grown children, and they were moving on with their lives and happy for the most part… going out to eat, coupled up. Beach trips, constantly at the casino or club. Even though some of the places they frequented, I’m no longer interested in, I still wanted a mate, and I jumped at the very first chance that came my way and the latter months was beyond overkill. Not to mention the fact that I wasn’t really over my previous husband, who I’m BACK with SMH, and that’ll be elaborated on as time progresses. Moreover, I carried hurt and all types of other damaging baggage over into my marriage, thus reaping unnecessary havoc for myself.

I was constantly bickering, complaining, nitpicking and physically abusing this man, and he held it all in until it came out in the worst way on that gruesome night, turned morning, beat down that I received, where God once again spared my life. now, this time, I wasn’t able to drive myself to the hospital like before and not because of any physical impairments. But, primarily because my husband didn’t want to leave me alone with in the ER, in fear of me contacting the police.

Enough of that already though, before too much explaining rolls into flashbacks, and emotions causes diverse reactions. I can’t say when I’ll discuss it. But, I wanna give my testimony about my reunification with my third husband, and how we’re doing now.

Da Ugly Ducklin – The Transparent Me 6/28/15 (Trial run – My first video trying out Vlogging)

This is my first attempt at Vlogging, and it was in June… I never could get the videos uploaded, so I completely gave up. But, I started back a month and a half later, and those are the videos on the site that are still not as good as I would like for them to be. But, I feel confident that I’m finally doing what’s pleasing to God. Even though they’re choppy and some are too long, in my opinion. Nevertheless, it satisfies my charge from above.

To recap: I discussed my reasons for getting away from the whole psychological team of nitwits, and it’s simply because thy weren’t doing me any good whatsoever!!! In fact, I spoke out about two drugs specifically that I’m not to fond of at all, and that’s Trazodone, because it causes shortness of breath and makes me feels anxious, and as if I’m hyperventilating. And lithium simply because I’m worried about any medication that gives cause for my blood to be continually monitored SMH… Nope, I’m GUCCI!!!

To add, I don’t know how to put the fact that I see NO need for repetitive trips to see therapist and psychiatrist no clearer than I have, with so much seriousness to back… I mean it’s absolutely ridiculous to make all these appointments, in an effort to find the “NORM” as most people call it, to no avail. I’m through being toyed with!!! Together with God and the testimonies of overcomers I’m gonna master my care without fake anecdotes and meaningless couch conversations.

I mentioned the stabbing that gave rise to my arrest, that aided in my eventual psychological assessment and corrupt diagnosis. My daughter, her husband and I were on our way home from picking him (her husband) up from his granny’s house when I rode up on the worse scene I’d ever encountered. My husband, openly walking with a female, who I later found to be his mistress for several months prior… I literally lost my mind. How dare you!!! Right in the neighborhood we met and married in. That’s making a total mockery of me, seeing as how EVERYONE knows we’re married, and have been together for three years before this craziness, and you even have the audacity to flaunt her around, while still bringing me around your friends and family members, who obviously knew about your secret rendezvous. But, continued to smile in my face as if everything’s all well and fine… Some nerve SMH. Nevertheless, the whole ordeal plays out with me going with the police, him with the paramedics, and the floozy running away, at record speed, with my Tasmanian devil daughter in HIGH pursuit lol. That was a day I never wanna see again, and Prayerfully no one else has to ever experience.

Da Ugly Ducklin – The Transparent Me 7/21/15 (DAY 2)

I’m sooooooooo happy… God tells us to take the first step, out on Faith, towards any endeavor, and He’ll provide the INCREASE. I did just that, in spite of all my insecurities and uncertainties, and each video is getting better as I go.

To elaborate, the messages above refer to some hard times I experienced years ago while I was still a babe in Christ, and not at all able to properly rationalize, and almost lost my life because of it on several occasions.

Also, spoke about Miracle Man, a vessel for God who also ran from his calling, and underwent a detrimental mishap before totally surrendering, and is now disfigured for life.

I can’t believe I took this long to heed to His (God’s) beckoning, for me to open up in this way. I actually like it, and Prayerfully it’ll help as many people as possible, to heal, and also the feedback that I receive will enhance my healing process as well.

I love being able to expound on the GOODNESS of God, as in He as been ever so present and helpful in my life from day one. And even though I’m going through a trying time right now, I know undoubtedly that none of it is in vain, and I’ll reap the benefits soon enough if I faint NOT!!!

The Transparent Me (Day 1)

This is the start of a new way I’m going to interact. I’ve been blogging for years, to no avail, and I earnestly believe that it’s meant for me to visually convey my messages. To be honest, it took me this long because I’m not happy with the way I look on camera. But, If God has a purpose for you, you’ll get it done, according to His Will eventually… No matter how long you run.

I don’t doubt that the reason I’ve been going through soooooo much is due to my procrastination and fear. “NO MORE”!!! I’m BAAAAAACCCCCKKKK, and I know I’ve said that many many times before, then I’ll fall away again… My apologies, trust me I’m full to the brim, and it’s about to spill over… Don’t believe me JUST WATCH 🙂 🙂 🙂

Haaaappppyyyy Father’s Day… And this is NOT gender specific!!!

Quite naturally fathers are referring to men, males & daddys. But, I most certainly have to acknowledge all my ladies WHO have and still are playing both roles… Myself included.

We’re upstanding individuals too… I feel that I did and is still doing a magnificent job at raising all four of my babies by myself, in the earthly realm. Of course my Daddy has ALWAYS and forever will have my back… Showing me the proper way to act and react towards and in front of them.

Teaching me how to cook healthy meals, encourage and help them education wise, and to show love and compassion during their hard times.

Not to mention all the times my Father has miraculously made ways for us when we seen Nooooooo waaaaaayyyyyyy. Short on food, here comes a lady at my door that I didn’t ask to help us out, and brought several bags of groceries. Broke down on steep mountains… Here comes my nephew, who should have been going in the other direction, to give us emergency gas… Again someone I didn’t call SMH.

He’s wonderful, and us parents in whole are toooooooo… Therefore, everyone enjoy your day… Tell your babies you love them 🙂

BnfEnT (CEO Son Son – DMV)

Spoiled rotten… From sourpuss to smilitis!!!

I just love my Daddy sooooooo much… I haven’t stopped smiling since this morning, and the Blessings aren’t ceasing either.

This bday girl is getting jazzed up already… I feel and look so gorgeous, and to think, just a couple of days ago my life was in shambles SMH.

My Father is so wonderful to me that I feel like an ONLY child. I’m walking into my victories slowly but surely, and I’m loving every second of it. I’m so glad I didn’t get all bent out of shape when I was going through, and denounce my Faith… Look at what was waiting for me at the end of the tunnel.

Father God in Heaven, I love You and thank You for all You’re doing now, have done in the past and mostly for all the things lying in wait in my future… Have Your waaaaaayyyyyyy in my life and keep total control. Lead, guide and direct me every step of the way. I entrust my entire being to You, because You’re better to me than I’ve ever been to myself.

These mere words could never express my gratitude for all You have done and are still doing for me and mine!!!

BnfEnT (CEO Son Son – DMV)

Naughty, naughty, naughty; watch out now… He’s watching!!!

Surely everyone readied themselves to read about how God is Omnipotent, Omnipresent, and Omniscient… Of course, He’s all those and more, and the aforementioned is reason enough to love Him dearly the way I do.

But, let me tell you how bad I messed up today. My husband, who’s NOT a Christian, but has been going through this chaos with me over the past three days got the worst of me ever this morning, and although I apologized wholeheartedly, he’s still LITERALLY lookin at me sideways, and rightfully so.

Regardless of what has impacted our lives, we MUST never allow the enemy to get us that angry through another person, and it’s true, my husband probably did deserve the wrath he received, because the things he was saying was totally obnoxious, hurtful, rude, condescending… The whole gist, I mean he so much as called me trifling for us going through what we were, and that sent me fire mad.

Now, God says be angry but sin NOT… Can someone Plllleeeeeaaaaassssseeee HHHEEEELLLLPPPP me understand what we’re to do in a split second… When someone is kicking you while you’re already down so to say!!!

I put emphasis on “he’s watching” because the look on his face after the outlandish explosion, came from me, was as if he had seen a ghost, and he really hasn’t uttered a word since… It makes me laugh, to myself, to see him kind of fearful of me… I doubt that seriously. It’s just pure shock, and that’s my point! Our families, coworkers and unsaved acquaintances expect better from us.

For real, we’re the ONLY God they see and know. But, if we act like that, what’s the reason for salvation… Let’s go family… I need feedback today!!!

I’m so angry at myself, even though he looks like a scared lost puppy and it makes me snicker… Forgive me Daddy!!! It’s NOT one bit funny, and mind you I deftly repented.

BnfEnT (CEO Son Son – DMV)

He did it as ALWAYS… Prayer changes things!!!

After work, Nooooooo more going back to the car… We are officially off the streets, and I have every Prayer warrior to thank for standing with me in my most vulnerable and desperate time of need.

You guys helped me remain calm and keep the Faith… I live in a rough neighborhood, where generally it’d be dangerous to even walk to your car at night to retrieve something. Make less sleeping there over night SMH. But, God allowed His angels to protect us all three nights and we had no fear whatsoever!!! To add, we had peaceful rest, and as hard as it may be to believe, we were actually comfortable… No cramps and pains when waking up the next morning.

That just shows God is a keeper, no matter what you go through, you won’t look like it at all. Nobody on my job could even tell I was at my worst, because God kept me contained just as if I had a home to go to ask three nights… He’s wonderful.

Where we’re going, we’ll be on the living room floor. But, it ain’t outside, and for that Lord I thank You. And the best part about it is we get to properly save for our own, that’s the Blessing of it all… When people are displaced, if you’re gonna help them with shelter temporarily, allow them to stay free, so that the money they would’ve paid you can be set aside for their moving expenses. And you’ll get a Blessing for being generous.

I end this post the same way I started it… Haaaappppyyyy in the Lord and most thankful for my deliverance and a new plan of action for me. I will be focused, determined and saving like crazy, and should be posting a Praise report about my new home rather quickly… Thanks guys, words can’t even express my gratitude… Enjoy your day.

BnfEnT (CEO Son Son – DMV)

The face that Nooooooo longer wears a smile

I’m trying, Christ in Heaven knows I am!!!

I need a Word from my Father. Plllleeeeeaaaaassssseeee Daddy send me a message from on high. I know I need to still away in solitude, but there’s no where quiet enough to do this.

Daddy, send anyone to speak to me, and give me clear instructions of what I need to do. I’m not complaining perse. But, I’m in the dumps I can’t lie.

I surrender my all to You Lord, please send a breakthrough. Thank You Daddy for keeping us safe throughout the night. And we even had a bite to eat and were able to shower.

I’m just having a hard time being happy go lucky while experiencing all this. My bday is in six days and I’m sooooooo miserable… Nonetheless, I love You Lord and look forward to deliverance.

BnfEnT (CEO Son Son – DMV)

Homeless, heart heavy, mind confused and eyes pouring with tears!!!

This Ministry is POWERFUL and the devil is so fearful that he really caused me to sleep on the streets last night, and I’m still going forward with and for Christ!!!

Because he did that, God is simply going to give me something better, and it’ll be mine!

I’m human, and it’s hurting me; so the tears are natural… It in Nooooooo way states that I don’t believe God will come through for me. I know He’s setting everything in order right now.

Moreover, I’m thankful I still have my job and transportation… Eating is a little rough, but that too will change.

When I was just a babe in Christ, a renowned preacher by the name of Juanita Bynum gave her testimony about getting close to God and doing His will and having the adversary take her through brutal changes time after time. But, she held fast to Christ and continued on regardless. That’s the only thing I can see as the reason so many horrific things are coming against me. The fact that God laid it on my heart to start this Ministry.

The devil wants to make sure I have not only no stable place to diligently work with the Ministry, but also make my own personal life sooooooo chaotic that I can’t even think straight enough to put anything together SMH.

I won’t give up, if it means using public Wi-Fi spots to do all the things necessary, I’m willing to do it. Only what we do for Christ will last. God always takes what the devil plans for bad and turns it into a magnificent Blessing in our lives… When I’m weak He’s then strong for me… I will survive this and it’s merely another portion of the testimony God is giving me.

Stand with me in Prayer… Thanx bunches!!!

BnfEnT (CEO Son Son – DMV)

It’s me, it’s me it’s me Oh Lord… Standing in the need of Prayer

WARNING: Before you say I do in marriage, there’s all types of counseling sessions couples can take part in, and if it’s equivocally decided that they’re NOT a match, the two can part ways, and on to the next!!!

On the contrary, once you’re called by God and, you take the initiative to totally surrender your all to Him; and even go a step further and say “use me Lord, till You use me up” watch out there!!! Lucifer and his imps are instantly on a prowl, and they’re coming full throttle… Nooooooo doubt!!!

These past couple of days have been horrific… But God!!! I kept saying this can’t be real… I’ve overcome all this. As a matter of facts, God is currently using me to head up a ministry that speaks against the very likes of this shenanigans SMH… The tricky monster almost had me… Need NOT I elaborate more. Just know he’s not crafty enough. God will use any conduit available to turn that thing around, and He certainly did. Hallelujah!!! I’m still here 🙂 🙂 🙂

Better late than never… I will be posting the dates and times for the small group, regarding Alone No More this week for sure!!! No matter how many fiery darts he sends my way, it won’t stop God’s mission.

BnfEnT (CEO Son Son – DMV)

Reach Out Before You Act. You Matter.

She was sooooooo beautiful, and also the encouraging words you spoke to anyone who may be suffering from any form of shame, bullying, heartbreak, disrespect, hurt or the likes. She was young and it’s hard to believe she was fearful that something she mistakenly shared online would haunt her later in life… Perhaps she shared a pic revealing too much, even if somebody was being mean and circulated it. It would’ve died down in weeks, at most two months… But, so much other stuff is going on these days on social media that her little mishap would fall to the back burner rather quickly.

You want to control your teen as far as social media is concerned and rightfully so… I mean most of the craziness that teens find themselves in the mix of generates first through one of the social media sites. Nonetheless, girls in whole love their hair… Me and my daughter’s are always saying, when we don’t have new clothes for an outing or special occasion that long as our hair is nicely done we’ll look and feel fine. But, this baby had to stand and look at her pride and joy on the floor SMH… This is still no reason to criminally charge the father though… Even though I’m angered by his outlandish choice of punishment.

To add, long beautiful hair in fact means a lot to girls/women, but I’m sensing it was a multitude of things that drove this Lil sweetheart to do what she did… I’d love to see her last eight letters, just to get a better idea of EXACTLY what the final straw was that broke the camel’s back, and figure out in advance ways that Alone No More will help anyone with her same issues.

My deepest condolences to the family.

https://funds.gofundme.com/mobile/dashboard?url=h2r43w

Midwestern Mom's Musings

Like many of you, I heard the story about the school girl who jumped off a bridge and killed herself. Initial stories said she was upset about a shaming punishment her dad gave her. Other stories piled on reasons for her actions: she had been bullied in school, she hadn’t been allowed to run for student council.

This report clarifies that all these reasons were wrong. According to authorities, she left several notes explaining why she was going to kill herself. It seems she was ashamed of things she had done and said on social media; she thought one thing in particular was going to follow her for the rest of her life.

http://fox2now.com/2015/06/10/police-reveal-reason-girl-jumped-from-bridge-no-charges-expected/

My heart goes out to anyone who has lost a loved one to suicide. There is no one to blame or shame. This is just an opportunity to share.

When you look at the big picture…

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Crisis Text Line helps teens across nation

Like Alone No More, this national program has analyzed technology and realized that the mediums that are widely used these days are face-to-face interactions (face time, ovoo, and Skype) to name a few. Text messaging, which they’ve intelligently integrated and is seeing that it’s working well, kudos to you guys. And also, apps on mobile devices (kindles, iPads, tablets and cellular phones) are also easily accessed and widespread… That’s why Alone No More will couple the app and face-to-face interactions together. Allowing the hurting person to instantly tap into a live supporter, who will talk to them, Pray for them and guide them to resources necessary to bring them back to a place of stabilization.

As this program admits at the end of their posts, that the people who are assisting the people who’s benefiting from their services are NOT therapists. But, rather they’re helping in the same manner we intend to, just by different, yet similar methods.

Regardless of the tactic, this is further evidence that hurting people need and want help, and prefer not to actually go in to a hospital or even a private office with doctors and other forms of trained professionals. They’d like it better if they can text or link through an app. Therefore, please donate and share this link… Help us come together to help others.

https://funds.gofundme.com/mobile/dashboard?url=h2r43w

Ashes/Demons

This was four days ago, and I’m upset that I didn’t see it earlier. Nonetheless, I’m believing with all my heart of hearts that you’re just fine. Especially since you stated at the end of your post that you REALLY don’t want to die, that you’re just tired. But, more importantly, you have people you must live and be strong for. I’m happy to hear that they’re still meaningful enough in your life, that you’ll do away with those irrational thoughts immediately and NOT act upon them.

Sadly, in February 2014 even with 11 precious grand children, 4 wonderful children and a promising career in the Federal Government I still resulted to taking my life because I was tired. During that time, I had no desire to seek God for myself and rejected any other’s who wanted to intercede for me… I had enough, and couldn’t see anything positive ever becoming of my life at all.

I was living in Maryland at the time, and that was my first time ever going through this there and I learned rather quickly that I’d made the BIGGEST mistake ever… The law there is confinement, with no chance of leaving for a minimum of three days… Ooooooooohhh Nooooooo, I’ve got to go to work, they thought that was hilarious. To them, I was crazy and needed to be there… But, after a couple of hours of seeing that my friends and family did love and care about me was suffice for me… That was all I was initially longing for, and my Facebook message box, cell phone voicemail was packed instantly… But, I was locked away involuntarily… Thank God for one lady who realised that my not reporting to work would cause me to lose it and further intensify my my thoughts fit not wanting to live, and she talked the resident physician into taking a chance with me, and I haven’t looked back since. In turns, I started this blog and begin channeling all my spare time into helping my sisters and brothers all across the Nation diminish those ugly thoughts altogether… We merely need to grasp what it is we’re really in need of and pursue it, if possible, and if for whatever reason that’s not an option, then other alternatives are a must. But, suicide absolutely will NOT be the ultimate outlet under Nooooooo circumstances.

For you, I reiterate how I’m overjoyed at the fact that you have those SPECIAL people who are dear to you keeping your mind at bay. If you like, we can talk anytime… I’m here for you my luv.

https://funds.gofundme.com/mobile/dashboard?url=h2r43w

My darkest hours.

My heart doesn’t feel heavy. It doesn’t feel anything as there is just emptiness as that is all the I am now. I am just an empty shell of the person I used to be. I don’t even remember who that person is anymore. I can’t remember what it feels like to feel something positive for more than twenty minutes. I just know the bad feelings, the emptiness and the darkness that is constantly surrounding me. Today I reached my lowest, today for the first time I started having thoughts about hurting myself. I thought about getting a handful of antidepressants, sleeping pills and painkillers and just swallowing them. Hoping that it would stop the pain.

Having thoughts like that… Thinking of harming myself and has never really been part of my illness. I’ve been and I am severely depressed but I have never thought about harming myself as I…

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Homeless man thanks state trooper who talked him out of taking his own life

So glad to have been led to this, obviously by the Holy Spirit, who is helping me regain my courage to move forward with Alone No More.

Yes, this officer was trained “deescalation skills” but in no way does it mention he possesses a degree, license or certificate of any kind… Merely, his EXPERIENCES of working on the force, and witnessing such situations as like that or worse helped him be able to talk the man away from his previous decision to jump from the bridge.

All you gotta have is a pure heart of love and a connection with God in order to successfully do exactly what this officer did.

Alone No More will certainly have to make it known upfront and or beforehand that SOME individuals that may assist have no credentials whatsoever and are simply caring servants of God who’d like to Pray for you and talk to you about the help they received spiritually and resourcefully… Because we will also have a list of local agencies per city/state who offer necessitated services.

I’m doing it guys… I’ve come too far with this in my heart, and I’m confident that God is well pleased with me adhering to His call, and He’s gonna Bless this ministry like never before.

Please share this link and donate at least $1, to help with this well needed ministry coming together… Thanx in advance!!!

https://funds.gofundme.com/mobile/dashboard?url=h2r43w

BringMeTheNews.com

Here’s a story to warm your heart from the Minnesota State Patrol.

You might associate the State Patrol with responding to crash scenes, stopping drunken drivers, and pulling over speeders, but the job also requires troopers to show compassion to those in distress.

Trooper Shaun Leschovsky was on routine patrol in Minneapolis on Feb. 20 when he was called to reports of a suicidal homeless man at Washington Avenue by the Interstate 35W intersection.

He spoke with the man, providing whatever reassurance he would and promising him that he would get him some help. Help then arrived in the form of an ambulance to take the man to Region’s Hospital.

He continued on with his shift, according to the State Patrol’s Facebook page, and might have thought that was the end of it, but a few weeks later he bumped into the same man while at Bobby & Steve’s Auto World and…

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Backlash… Shaking in my boots… Now what???????

Last night was a hot mess, and I’m angered that I allowed myself to be bullied like I did SMH!!!

But, I was driving, it was hard and illegal to text the reply, and I promised myself andwith that I’d be quick to listen, slow to speak and surely slow to anger, if ever. Then I remembered I can be angry… So long as I sin NOT. Which means I have to confront this wisely, not apologetic for the things I’m boutta go in about; I just gotta be respectful… Now, here goes nuttin!!!

Alone No More is a ministry that God inspired me to form, due to the struggles I endured and eventually overcame, with His love, support and HHHEEEELLLLPPPP. The ministry will offer assistance to those contemplating suicide, but at Nooooooo time will any who’s not qualified with state provided licenses or other credentials ever claim to be a professional in that realm… But, I gotta say that one don’t always have to have a degree to counsel another, because several people in my Church that counsels regularly has Neeeeeevvvveeerr walked through the doors of a university, that’s why I emphasized “in that realm” to magnify the fact that my experiencing their trauma firsthand and being delivered from it umpteen times, surely I gathered lessons and walked away each time more wiser than when it began beginning some 13 years ago.

Of course, to keep in line with state requirements, guidelines, rules and regulations, I’m sure I’ll have to display, and if verbal audible disclose that everyone the interested parties work with aren’t tainted professionals, but it’s THEIR choice to accept Prayer from a person who doesn’t have a degree… It just sounds so ridiculous if we have to do that, and I’m not even sure if I’ll have to. But, her comment last night just has me thinking of all the things we may encounter, and it’s better to have it occur now, before we’re fully online and working incorrectly with God’s people.

I can clearly understand the part about letting everyone know we’re not doctors or trained therapists… Gotcha!!! But, since when is wrong to Pray with receptive adults… Now, on my page it does state that God will use me to help people, and before getting this message last night I’d hoped He would… I just think my experiences and Godly knowledge should be sufficient… But, I don’t wanna mislead anyone or risk criminal or civil litigation.

I sure hope some who either have this same type of ministry would reply and let me know my constraints and limitations if any… Just so I’ll feel better. No doubt, even if I can’t interact with the hurting directly, that won’t stop the implementation of the Ministry… Nooooooo indeed!!! It ain’t about me, it’s about hurting people getting the love, care, concern and compassion they so need and desire!!!

I can’t believe I punked out last night though… Nah, I’m kidding I know I handled it well, and I’m fully prepared for more opposing people who will criticize my Vision and even express, yes it’s for a worthy cause, but never attempt to do something different their way, however, it don’t matter, just so help is provided.

Can’t wait to publish this… I’m anxious to know just how valid last night’s comment really was SMH… Thanx bunches guys.

BnfEnT (CEO Son Son – DMV)

Reaching, surpassing one’s limitations.

I hurt that you’re hurting and I empathize with everything you’re experiencing and wish I were close enough to you to just grab you and hug you for hours, then sit with you all day, and just talk things through, until you feel better. I’ve been where you are and I can attest to the fact that Prayer definitely changes things, it did for me. It didn’t happen overnight, in fact I suffered intermittently for fourteen long Yyyyyyeeeeeaaaaaarrrrrrrssssss, but that was all my fault. I surely could’ve been done with the craziness I went through faster, had I remained steadfast and avoided my triggers, but Nooooooo, I actually pursued the conduits even the more SMH, and by doing so I prolonged my own demise.

Even though I don’t know you personally, please accept me saying that I do love you like family, and want only what’s best for you moving forward. Without knowing the full magnitude of all that’s bothering you, it’s hard to try and assist. I don’t claim one bit to be a know it all or a professional with a focal point of stress or depression, but rather I’m coming from a place of experience, which has been considered to be our BEST teacher.

The best I can do, with miles in between us, being our hugest barrier is to offer up Prayer for you, if you like. I won’t assume that you’ll be receptive. Therefore, I’ll wait for your reply, I’m even willing to give you my number, in case you just wanna talk or you’d prefer Prayer via landline. Of course, I’m interceding for you as I type. But, I’d like to be more interpersonal and actually touch and agree with you… Plllleeeeeaaaaassssseeee respond, and Prayerfully I’m not out of line in my approach, your story just captivated me is all… Waiting patiently!!!

Alone No More is here for you; Heavenly sent… Be Blessed my friend

https://funds.gofundme.com/mobile/dashboard?url=h2r43w

Formulation of Alone No More (small group)

There are MANY of you who’ve offered to help with the planning and building phase of Alone No More, and I plan to start holding online meetings for us to come together all in one place, so that we can finally get this much needed Ministry moving in the correct direction. Instead of me checking each comment and inviting you to the meeting, please reply with your email address or mobile number, depending on the device you intend to use for the meeting(s). I’ll be using Anymeeting, beforehand you can check it out, and see which method you feel you’d be comfortable using and leave the corresponding information accordingly. Until I actually get the hosting site up and going, I don’t even want to throw out tentative dates and times, I’d rather post it once I know that I know for sure that it’s a go!!! Pray with me everyone that this finally works and God will increase during these meetings, and I’ll decrease, allowing Him to overtake my mind and speak through me according to how He desires for us to proceed from here. (sigh)… finally smiling, believing deep in my heart that it’s all uphill from here… We just gotta learn to be still, and watch Him work when we’re clueless about what in the world we’re suppose to be doing SMH. Well, time to knock down these hours… At least I’m going in here today feeling like a heavy weight has been lifted up off my shoulders… Thank You Daddy, and a multitude of Blessings sent in every direction for you guys as well 🙂 🙂 🙂 BnfEnT (CEO Son Son – DMV)

Suicidal thoughts affecting siblings… The devil is a LIAR!!! God’s still in CONTROL

This makes me sooooooo sad, to see that a sister transitions intermittently from fearing that her brother would commit suicide, to her herself experiencing overwhelming thoughts of it too SMH.

Yes, it’s likely and normal for family members to follow in each other’s footsteps… Like going into law enforcement, medicine, acting or modeling… That’s all well and fine. All three of my daughters mimicked me studying to become a Medical Assistant and eventually working successfully in the field… Now, that’s something to be proud of, especially me, as their mother, I feel as though I was a phenomenal role model.

On the other hand, suicidal thoughts and tendencies running ramped throughout a household of siblings is a sure enough reason to call together a group of missionaries for the purpose of intercessory Prayer… It’s a message in that happening, it’ll require much supplication in order to get to the root of it all. I don’t believe in or would never express to this family that I was concerned that someone had worked some type of witchcraft on them, casting mind controlling spells on them, because I’m sure that I’d be instantly discredited. But, in trying to analyze what could possibly be going on with them, that was a thought that crept in my mind, to no avail… Even though I threw it out there, trust me it holds no relevance and not even meant to be our true source of conversation. Plllleeeeeaaaaassssseeee act as if it were never mentioned, and instead focus on what ways we can help this family and undoubtedly many other families who also need assistance, as they’re going through this same kind of problem.

Alone No More is a ministry still in its infancy stage, that can deftly be beneficial in such times as these. But, we need help with funding, so that a proposal can be composed for grant monies that’ll be used to bring the whole entity together. Donate any amount, even if it’s $1, every cent helps and also share the link on your site(s). And know that it’s greatly appreciated… Every life counts, and those who are hurting simply needs the love, care, concern and compassion that this ministry’s team members will gladly offer.

https://funds.gofundme.com/mobile/dashboard?url=h2r43w

bekindbethoughtful

There are many things that are hard in life. We often have conflicts and dilemmas that stay with us for certain stretches of time. Sometimes they stay for hours, sometimes days, and sometimes they stay with us for years.  The things that make our lives hard are usually not things at all. They are thoughts.

I paused before I knocked on the door. There was slight apprehension in doing so because of the unknown.  What didn’t I know? What do I always fear when knocking on this door?  Whether or not my brother will have killed himself. I used to occasionally fear this, in an abstract manner, but as his outward signs of depression worsen the idea seems less abstract. Sometimes I find myself angry at him because is being selfish and not doing what he needs to be doing. But then there are the days when I feel sad…

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More on Sharing…

Sharing was always a BIG problem for me and I never understood whether or not it was because I was the babbbbbbyyyyyyyy of seven and was spoiled rotten, coming up, and Neeeeeevvvveeerr was taught or made to share with others. In any event, I learned while rearing my four babies just how selfish I really was SMH, and to this day I get sick to my stomach to even think I was that cruel of a person… Thank God for salvation, sanctification and transformation!!! I’m Nooooooo longer the idiot I once was… Hallelujah!!!

Today, I give quick, fast and in a hurry. Especially to those who are needy. Because God says what we do for the least amongst us, we do unto Him. Also, I was taught that we’ll never know if we missed an opportunity to give to Jesus and/or an Angel, and run the risk of failing the test and missing out on an enormous Blessing unknowingly SMH. To keep that from happening, just share period.

I won’t claim to be all the way there either!!! Because God just reminded me of my sneakiness last night, trynna open my favorite candy bar without having to offer my husband some… I even told him he was allergic to peanuts lol… He was like “no I’m not”… I was so piiiiiiisssssseeeeedddddd. And I think he seen my reluctance frfr, that I was laughing on the outside, but holding back at the same time… Not really wanting to give ggggrrrrrrhhhhhh… Dag why did I reblog this post… Now I’m mad at myself for being greedy!!! Daddy, please forgive me and I truly appreciate Your obvious chastisement, and I ask that you remove selfishness and candy greed away from me… Far away, for its not right to be stingy at all, even with things we look at as mediocre.

Itttttt’sssssss sooooooo important that we share unselfishly… Not with a mean or angry heart, so that our Blessings won’t be held up. God loves a CHEERFUL giver 🙂

penpowersong

More on Sharing…
By Apolinario Villalobos

There is more in sharing than what most of us know about it. The heavenly bodies in the universe share ample space. Without the fair sharing in the seemingly infinite space in the universe, the heavenly bodies including earth would have been bumping with each other. Humanity shares the air to be able to survive and so are the lesser creatures. Sharing is not limited to food. The Designer is wise, indeed, and that is what He expects His intelligent creatures to be.

Unfortunately, because of pride and greed among humans, even the road space is not shared fairly, resulting to altercation among greedy motorists. They want to get more than what is provided by going against the flow of traffic or by overtaking the long queue of vehicles as they come to a standstill. This greed sometimes results to violence, and worse, death.

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With God ALL things ARE possible… This journey takes Faith and supernatural strength!!!

19 days away from the BIG 45, and I’m embarking on a transition that I know will be trying… And this is when I look to see my help ever so near.

Even my PCP advised that I don’t attempt this, while still experiencing such traumas that bring about anxiety, stress and inevitably depression. But, he doesn’t know the Special help I’m relying on at this juncture in my life!!!

My health depends on this change… There’s mornings I wake up and my chest feels like an elephant has escaped the zoo and is now utilizing me for his/her resting post… Totally unacceptable; the huge mammoth & the disgusting, expensive, stinky, lung inhibitors can goooooooooooooooo far far away from me!!!

I’m ooooooooohhhhhhhhh sooooooo done! Now I say that with a reserve pack within arms reach, and they’re still here because I’ve vowed to quit after devouring the last one. I know there’s trillions of you who’ve either already conquered what I’m about to face or you may even be with me at the beginning stage of your cessation add well ggggrrrrrrhhhhhh.

Whatever the case, let’s be each other’s networking empowerment. We MUST get through this, and doing it together will deftly make it much easier. This is when I’ll for sure watch my Faith be activated; every time a craving comes I’ve gotta quickly run fast as I can, like Forest Gump, to God… And y’all remember he had them braces on his legs, and eventually they fell right off… That’ll be me, once God truly delivers me, the very thought of the stupid Lil things will turn my stomach.

Soon I’ll be at the place where the smell of them nauseates me, and that’ll be a good thing for once… Crazy enough, I hate nausea with a complete passion. But, I’ll undergo it for a few ticks, long enough to be sure that I Neeeeeevvvveeerr relapse.

Just imagine all the money Imma save. Prettier skin, whiter teeth, fresh smelling breath, no more people running for dear life when I talk… Joke lol. I’ll be able to run up stairs, all the waaaaaayyyyyyy to the top!!! Where I use to have stop multiple times in between SMH. Most important though is the fact that my vessel will finally be all the way useful for God… Hallelujah!!!

Let’s do it guys… Nooooooo more cigarettes… Starting, when my last one is finished… Stay tuned, to be continued 🙂 🙂 🙂

BnfEnT (CEO Son Son – DMV)

Testimony service is OFFICIALY open…. And I’m FIRST!!!

Growing up every time I seen anyone crying I assumed they were sad… On day my mom explained to me that people can actually shed TEARS OF JOY. That made me feel better… Now today I have my own reason to cry out thank You a trillion times to God, and I’m trying so hard to squeeze out some tears, to triple express my appreciation to Him… But, they won’t come. Nonetheless, He knows my heart, and how happy I am.

This is how I feel right now…

Those who follow me know that I keep intermittently having bouts of distraction and deterrence from the dumb devil. But, God has used all of you and the Holy Spirit to keep me sustained… kudos to yunce. And it gets better… This morning I finally opened a letter from a Prophet who regularly sends me messages from God… He was telling me that I had unknowingly opened the door to satan’s venom… of course I got all scared, but not bent outta shape!!! Immediately, I anointed myself with oil, and cried out to God. You talking bout supernatural/miraculous change, help, Blessings etc. flowing from on high. Thereafter, I picked up my phone to see a dreadful email from my ONCE auto insurance company, going in on me… boutta make me get all upset and cry bad tears… not the ones of JOY this post is referring to. But God!!!   He said, uhhhhh get rid of em!!! Just like that… Plain and straight to the point, in His still CALM small little voice lol. I wasted no time… Powered up the ole laptop, and got to surfing. Normally, this can be a draining process, having to search through several companies before you’re satisfied… Nope!!! Quick and easy, remember… I’m the King’s kid 🙂 🙂 🙂   Google always categorizes companies according to popularity and/or ratings. Whatever the case, the first one got stuck just spinning, supposedly looking for my driving and previous insurance history, and I’m like Nooooo waaaaayyyyy nobody can have that many tickets, not to mention it’s really only concerned about moving violations, and I own NONE! My Daddy said… move on to the next… Y’all already know my lil obedient self… I did so, and it was on and poppin from there…

I wanted to do this

but my husband would’ve probably called the ambulance lol… He’d been scared outta his wits. Can I tell you, I was expected to pay $416.92 on June 10th, but God turned dat thing AAAALLLLLLLL the way around… $126.37!!! And I know yawl probably thinking like I was, some of the coverage probably changed… No indeed, same coverage, and get this… SOME EXTRAS, and lower deductibles!!! I had my deductibles at their peaks, to keep my premiums down… But God! No More worrying about budgeting this and scarcely paying that… Forget about robbing Peter to pay Paul too… My Daddy is RICH… I reiterate, He owns the cattle on a thousand hills. Now let me run and get this money from my son, to put back in the bank, before it overdraft frfr… Lol, had to leave on a funny note. Especially since lucifer and his lil ugly creäture lookin imps been bothering me gggggggrrrrrrrrrrrrrhhhhhhhhhhhhhh…. I’m gone… Enjoy y’all day!!!

Better at what I say then what I do SMH… Jesus Plllleeeeeaaaaassssseeee HHHEEEELLLLPPPP me!!!

I know sooooooo well how to counsel, advise and help everyone stay strong and show forth Faith in the midst of tests. But, when the tables turn I get sooooooo weak and act out… I hate, hate, hate this about myself.

I gotta record myself ministering to others or something, and be able to quickly playback the audio, to defeat the enemy, by not getting depressed or stressed, and prove to him that I do in fact trust God to do just what He says and really and truly believe it in my heart of hearts also.

The darts just keep coming so fast, that it’s hard to get my footing. And the Holy Spirit is immaculate, because He’s teaching right as I’m typing and I’m now able to see the good in my situation either way.

Point at hand: I allowed myself to be scammed Friday, something I always kept a defense against ordinarily, and would’ve never been so naive. But, these people seemed so convincing… Really had a call back number, answering as IRS and appeared to really be in a legit call center and all, and my husband had in fact applied for financial aid. So, I fail for it SMH.

Low and behold, the monies were placed on a greendot card, and I was feeling better because one young lady got my hopes up by having me email her documents to prove I was the initial card holder and in deed was a victim of fraud. But, I got a disturbing reply this morning, that tore me all to pieces. Thus, making me shun and be mean to my husband all over again… When I wasted the entire Friday already in despair and acting ugly… Took off from work, causing myself more loss, wouldn’t eat… Just in the dumps wanting a pity party I guess and for him to feel terrible… I know better, but I couldn’t get myself outta the stupor.

Not today, just as the Holy Spirit showed me… My father is rich and owns the cattle on a thousand hills… He can bring back that and more money and it don’t have to be from greendot… I just have to trust and believe and be ever so careful not to lash out while I wait!!! I can’t lie, I’m humanly mad at the fact that both individuals are able to get away with their actions and my hands are inadvertently tied. The scammers can’t be found and greendot are rightfully doing this to me because of clauses in their policy that cover them SMH… I don’t feel it’s right one bit though, especially since I have proof that I have the card in my possession and the people who falsely registered the card and used the funds cannot produce the same proofs ggggrrrrrrhhhhhh… Tests are hard. But, with the help of the Holy Spirit we’ll pass and eventually benefit from doing what’s right no matter what we face.

BnfEnT (CEO Son Son – DMV)

Nooooooo matter how it looks… I believe!!!

Heavenly Father,

Thank You for Your Grace and Mercy, in Your Son Jesus Christ’s Holy name!

Dear God, no matter what it looks like I believe that You want to and will bring this ministry together, so that Alone No More can be readily available to help Your people everywhere.

Daddy, in spite of how I may feel as though nothing is turning out right, I’ll continue to look upwards, towards the hills, from where my help comes; knowing that hold ups don’t necessarily count me out!!!

I Love You Father God, and nothing’s going to stop Alone No More from taking root… we will, in Jesus name, help the people, as You lead, guide and direct. God, I’m convinced that in Your own time, You will undoubtedly bring forth every individual needed to make this ministry what You intend for it to be!!! Have Your way, I surrender my all to Your mighty work… Use me until You’ve used me up… My only desire is to serve and Plllleeeeeaaaaassssseeee You at any cost. Amen!!!

BnfEnT (CEO Son Son – DMV)

Sooooooo angry at myself!!!

Just what in the world is wrong with me??? “If God be for me, WHO can be against me?”

I gotta stop letting the enemy reap havoc in my life, and I go curl up under bushes, with my tail tucked… Whimpering and subdued… I’m a child of God, an heir of God and a joint heir with Christ Jesus!!!

God has placed tooooooo much in me for me to keep shutting down on His work!!!

My deepest apologies to everyone who has been willing to back me on His endeavor. But, watched me inadvertently sink into that ridiculous nearly two week depression phase… I’m just grateful that God knows me through and through; enough to know that I wasn’t arbitrarily saying no I won’t do it, because other secular issues and/or opportunities took premise.

But rather He saw the distractions the adversary created for me, to veer me off course, and He had to send the right people along to pull me back. I’d like to thank each one of you for continuing to message me, in spite of my silence, during my trying time… That is nobody but God, to keep you steadfast, amidst my craziness… Thanks, thanx… Then thanx one more again!!!

Everybody… Alone No More is about to take off… Hurting individuals will have the love, compassion, attention, affection, care, concern, time, and anything else they need!!! God purposely saved me from twelve obnoxious suicide attempts, and I suffer from Nooooooo brain damage at all… Actually, I’m ridiculously intelligent… Which shows He’s ever so present in my life. Therefore, onward I go… In His service!!!

I’m BBBBAAAAACCCCCKKKKK 🙂 🙂 🙂

BnfEnT (CEO Son Son – DMV)

Tribute to suicide victims – YouTube

http://de.gofund.me/h2r43w

Please go through each link, and realize, especially through their Facebook posts, that these were once normal individuals, living out each day… Then, something happen!!! Most had an abundance of friends and family interacting with them regularly SMH… Alone No More wants to get to the root of the issues and be able to, with the help of God Almighty, stop suicide altogether.

http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/fredericknewspost/obituary.aspx?pid=167476731

Jessica Gladhill

https://www.facebook.com/jessica.gladhill


http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/hartfordcourant/obituary.aspx?pid=166939399

Todd Dorey


http://www.suttonguardian.co.uk/news/8327340.Triple_suicide_family_torn_apart_by_fourth_death/

Anna Borau

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1356031/How-mother-bear-After-suicides-child-lost-legal-high.html


http://worlddestiny.proboards.com/thread/11146

Destiny Grindstaff


http://www.findagrave.com/cgi-bin/fg.cgi?page=gr&GRid=82774735

Isabel Borau


https://www.facebook.com/neil.lal

Neil Lal


http://www.horancares.com/obituary/Sterling-Alexander-Malec/Northglenn-CO/1123023

Sterling Malec

https://www.facebook.com/events/482613408437952/


http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/deseretnews/obituary.aspx?n=jason-mark-ainsworth&pid=156091670

Jason Mark Ainsworth

http://www.findagrave.com/cgi-bin/fg.cgi?page=gr&GRid=85735259


http://www.newsargus.com/obituaries/archives/2007/04/15/nathan_lynn_ford/

Nathan Ford

http://nathan-ford.virtual-memorials.com/

Write the VISION and make it plain!!!

After experiences with suicidal thoughts firsthand, then seeing how prevalent it is with celebrities and others who one would think are established and shouldn’t even be experiencing such problems that’ll ever make them feel worthless, hopeless or inadequate; further proves that suicidal tendencies has nuttin to do with how much money you have nor does popularity make a difference. Hurting people are everywhere… And I wanna HHHEEEELLLLPPPP!!!

Alone No More

Is a non profit organization I wanna structure, that will operate 24 hrs a day and have an app attached to it, so that none will have to waste time dialing numbers to get help. What if they’ve already taken the pills or injured themselves, but have a change of heart, and too weak to dial out. This app will stay on the home screen (widget) and instantly a live counselor pops up and will be able to get your exact location, so long as GPS and location are both engaged on your device.

Also, with the app, say for instance you’re merely in the beginning phase of your plan, and you’re maybe able to just talk to someone and perhaps get to feeling better altogether. The counselor will either spend the needed time with you themselves or get someone local to respond to your location, in case you prefer face to face interactions.

Alone No More

Will have 24 hrs private prayer closets throughout the cities, for anyone to drop in as needed whenever, and they can choose whether they’d like for someone to pray with/for them or they want to spend time with God alone. Yes, we can pray anywhere. But, some people feel better in places that’s dedicated to/for the primary purpose of prayer.

Alone No More

Will either be staffed (on standby) at hospitals and and psychiatric associations, because everybody don’t just need to be medicated and locked on a ward, left alone to still think about your problems. Rather, talking it through is more helpful. Every time I’ve been committed the actual facility I was in did nuttin beneficial for me, aside from food, arts and crafts, an abundance of snacks and tons of mind altering drugs. The crazy thing is you end up lying, and saying your issue has diminished, just so you can finally get home. But, the problem just goes right with you. Instead, Alone No More will take the time to get to the root of your issue, and help you with therapy that surpasses sitting on a couch, going over family history and all the shenanigans. The time together will be spent doing whatever you enjoy, yet while still rectifying your problem. You’ll gain a new helpful friend.

However, this VISION will be expensive and time consuming. I need help writing proposals and staff to work with, ideas on how to turn these thoughts into reality. I can’t do this by myself, although I can see exactly how it should be structured. It’s gon take a committed team of US to pull this together. Come along and let’s put an end to suicide as best we know how… Giving the love that’s needed one click of the app at a time.

BnfEnT (CEO Son Son – DMV)

Post from HCUMABH 2/19/14

I felt compelled to share with you what horrific experience I endured last week, and some of you may have watched it all unfold, yet while other’s will read about it for the first time tonight.

I went through a break up on the 14th that sent me for a loop, and what made it different than any other is the fact that coupled with the overwhelms of emotions, I attempted suicide for the umpteenth time, and it also panned out way far different than before. And as I continue, you’ll understand better where I’m going with this. But, as I write this to you I’m shaking like I suffer from Parkinson’s disease, but it’s merely the affects of the medicine they pumped me up with and the drugs I consumed in my dumb attempt.

I keep asking God why I have to always be lonely, and His reply, one that I’ll finally accept is plainly “you’re not alone, you’re just being savored for Me”. People, I’m 43, and have always been domineering, Soooooo for me to find myself begging for my mommy, while strapped to a hospital bed gave me the biggest wake up call ever. I quickly realized I was no longer in control, and had to be subjected to whatever they did to me… scared me out of my wits.

Point at hand, in God revealing to me that I’m His, I came to the conclusion that all the creativity within shall be used for His purposes, and I was taking back to the very day I started this group, even then it was adamant for me to be doing what God wanted, but I was running.

NO MORE, or I won’t have to take my own life, He’ll do the work for me, and more than likely without warning, and I probably won’t be ready. My problem with surrendering was the fear that I’d live a boring life… as it is now, who cares! I say yes to His will hands down. Trust me, I won’t be missing anything, but the drama that was Neeeeeevvvveeerr good for me from the start.

I’m mad at myself for all the promises I’ve made in this group, but failed to fulfill… please forgive me. Starting tonight, that will change, the power moves that I’ll make for God will integrate the group. While locked away, I seen just how needed this group really is, but not in its dead state, that’s why I must get myself together, Soooooo this group will be what it’s intended to be.

BnfEnT (CEO Son Son – DMV)

Post from HCUMABH 12/2/13

Update: 5/16/15 We’re together and doing marvelous… Prayer deftly changes things!!!

I think my biggest hurt comes because I don’t have discernment, and I was totally wrong thinking that him coming back into my life after a ten years gap was a divine miracle, but this morning proves I was only fooling myself. I wanted it to work so bad I just didn’t care about any of the signs that showed me it wasn’t of God… I was just tired of being lonely.

I almost feel like being angry with God, even though I don’t walk upright before Him as regularly as I should, doesn’t mean I need to suffer like this… it’s embarrassing. I have my room door locked, so I know my family thinks I’ve been sleeping peaceful all night… but Lil do they know, this pain is probably one of the worst ones I’ve ever had to endure… narcotics couldn’t even knock me out.

The crazy thing though, I have friends and family members who can stay in relationships for years on end, and they won’t even attempt to seek the face of God… but I have Him at the forefront of my life, and repetitive break ups is my destiny.

Back when I was going through those years of suicide attempts, when I first started this group, trust me, it wasn’t because I was weak… because I know my worth, and I realize I CAN make it without a man financially… but that’s not the case… the point is I don’t want to!!! It’s hard going from watching t.v. with someone, cuddled up in their arms… y’all cracking your sides at the same time to the funny parts, or you both get teary eyed simultaneously… once that significant other is gone, t.v. is now a thing you hate… which causes a domino effect to occur, because now depression is working its way into your realm… SMH!!!

But, this is the kicker… although the problems were on and off between he and I, I purposely would over look them because I honestly believed our connection to be of God, since we married the first time in 1998, then again in 2000… calling ourselves renewing our vows, in an effort to have a new slate… in June 2003, God blessed me with a good job, that not only paid good, but it was interesting enough to aide in me being able to wean myself off of him, and there was absolutely no contact until March 2013, when I used this exact venue that I’m posting to right now to track him down, and the rest is self explanatory I guess!!!

Nevertheless, I still have to believe that God has a plan even in this pain I’m going through.

BnfEnT (CEO Son Son – DMV)

Post from HCUMABH 2/26/14

GM Heartmenders 🙂

Prayerfully all is well with each of you, as for me, life couldn’t be better. NO, everything’s not perfect, but it don’t look like it use to and I have great expectations for the days to come. Starting today, I’ve decided to wholeheartedly TRUST God with my entire life, more than I did in the past. Before, I somewhat gave Him my all, but it was too easy for me to stray. This time around, I’m SOLD OUT, NO turning back, and my desire is to take each one of you with me, as I journey through life in peace and harmony… secure in my mind that God and the heavenly bodies are with me and won’t allow any of US to dash/gash our foot against a stone.

Am I promising you a problem free life going forward? No indeed!!! In fact, I’ll honestly tell you that trials are destined to occur. But, know that is the evidence that we’re walking the straight and narrow… just be sure NOT to deviate. Yes, temptations will rise and you may FALL short, it’s normal my love, just don’t waller in it… immediately get back up, REPENT, and grab our Father’s hand and proceed on.

Each day, before your feet touch the ground, make it a habit to Thhhaaannnkkk God for new life, invite Him into your day, and ask Him to guide and guard every part of your being, and place a covering over your love ones. Then, move into action, allowing Him to have his way with you, of course, follow your routine as normal, taking care of your hygiene and diet, still exercise if you always did, make all your same phone calls and go on to work. The only difference is your quiet conversations with God, that helps you with decision making. For me, I have a spending problem, that arises even more so when I’m bored or sunken… that changes today, as I walk in any store from now on, my prayer will be “Daddy, You know what I need, anything is of no importance, so don’t let me spend unnecessarily”. Likewise, ask Him to aide in your life, in whatever area you struggle. To add, find a point when you open up to be used by Him, for His purpose… just say “Daddy, You’ve been Soooooo good to me and mine, now direct me to do something for You; it’s my pleasure to serve”.

Fam, I know I never finished the series I started about intriguing your man… my bad!!! But, who knows if that was the correct message for me to convey, maybe God will take us back to it or He may lead us somewhere else totally… just be patient with me and enjoy the ride… as always, I love you all to pieces 🙂

BnfEnT (CEO Son Son – DMV)

Post from HCUMABH 1/19/14

I’m back… at work and can only write during breaks, so bear with me.

Nonetheless, back to what I was conveying earlier; before I jump back to it, I wanna give you some history.

When this group evolved some nearly five years ago, I was probably worse off than I am now and surely didn’t think I’d live to see myself be the supportive individual that God allowed me to soon become, and I say soon, because we (HCYMABH) are about to excel.

Back on the very day I sat at my computer and formulated this group, I had no idea what I was doing, and just how it would even turn out, and even with all my slack, I can proudly say we’re 2k strong, and I look forward to us growing in leaps.

However, the day I spoke about was the day I was released from a mental institution, and actually my first time ever attempting suicide, I couldn’t believe that was the route I took, considering I always thought I could conquer anything. The way I was living my life, back then, you would’ve thought I was in jail for homicide vs me being the victim.

Long story short, after leaving, I still wasn’t feeling up to par, so I looked for support groups in my area to help me cope, but nothing was local, so I searched online to no avail. Then God dropped it in my spirit to start my own… I did and here we are. Except I haven’t been faithful to the group, and that’s none other than a trick of the enemy, who caused me to get sidetracked, by sending temporary relationships my way, to keep me from ever getting the good news out to everyone. But, all that’s out the window now… I’m back focused. But, I’ll have to come back later again, breaks over… but do keep a look out for the following posts, because it’s bout to get juicy… stay tuned.

BnfEnT (CEO Son Son – DMV)

Post from HCUMABH 6/9/14

GE HCYMABH MEMBERS,

No doubt, I’m ok with allowing God to mend my broken heart, because I know He’ll be genuine in His acts towards me, Neeeeeevvvveeerr wavering in kindness and support and the sadness some people make me feel at times wouldn’t EVER occur with Him. However, what gets me angry, upset and confused is the fact that I’m not able to treat the hurtful people the way they treat me… The flesh side of me wants to be like Rick Ross (God forgives but I don’t) but I’m too afraid of God’s wrath.

He helped me realize FFFFIIIIIRRRSSSSTTTT that I shouldn’t retaliate against the people, because it’s NOT actually them who’s treating me unkind, but rather the adversary is working through them, in an effort to keep me sidetracked from ALL the things I’ve been called to do for Him… see the dumb devil knows it’s about to go down, and many, once again, will change their wicked ways, and come to Christ wholeheartedly, JUST by keeping in close proximity to me… Soooooo, he thinks by reaping havoc unnecessarily between us will complicate OUR relationship to the point that my witness will be of NO effect… NOT!!! Dumb is ya Lucifer 🙂

That just makes me PRAY harder, and the more I seek God on the issue, the faster chains are BROKEN, generational curses diminish, pain and heartache disappear, and family orientation is strengthened… dummy, you’re on notice, TODAY, I am a child of God and always will be, NO MORE falling by the wayside… I’m grounded and rooted… And everything God has for me and mine shall come to pass!!!

How can I mend my broken heart… easy, through continual Prayer and supplication… you have no place here… therefore, return to the pits of hell, WHERE you belong… while Weeeeeeeee move forward in total Salvation… (((TOODLES)))

BnfEnT (CEO Son Son – DMV)

My journey

In 1993 I first learned of God in a way that would truly be beneficial to me, opposed to what I was accustomed to as a child, at my Grandma Toads’ house, having the missionaries come over every Sunday morning, to teach the household how to live right.

Then, I was way too young for any of the teachings to take root, and change my sinful ways. All I did was watch the clock, waiting for the lady to leave, so I could get to play outside. Although the atmosphere was always structured, and the lessons placed before me contained pertinent tips that could have saved me from most of the heartache I endured after becoming an adolescent, I never forced myself to listen, thus reaping havoc in every arena of my life thereafter.

Today, I’m determined to get it right, and seek Gods’ face like never before. I know firsthand that He’s a keeper, and He rewards anyone who diligently pursues Him. I can bear witness to Him being GREAT, because I had a chance, for a couple of years to have Him working closely with me, once I surrendered my all to Him, and asked Him to lead, guide and direct me. However, I took the wheel again, and it wasn’t until a couple of months ago that I realized I absolutely need Him at the forefront of my life or I’ll either end up in hell or a jail cell, and neither of them are an option for me. I have eleven (11) wonderful grandbabies that not only depend on their parents for moral support, and look for a positive role model. But, also they definitely expect me, the overseer of the entire clan, to have myself in order, so they’ll know how to conduct themselves.

Back in the day, I use to attend these cell groups, that were so helpful and conducive for me but I can’t find them in existence any more… SMH!!! They were a plus, because each new comer was teamed up with a seasoned member, and the two would schedule Prayer allotments and we would also meet for mid-week Bible studies at one or the other’s home, and that getting together like that always carried me over until Sunday morning worship service. Thinking about those days makes me laugh, because my children would be so angry, because I was so thirsty for Christ that we basically lived in church. Twice on Sundays (AM & PM) services, choir rehearsal on Tuesdays, Bible Study on Wednesday, and the cell groups took place every other Friday… I miss that… It sure did me some good. But, I unfortunately allowed my flesh to take over, and I backslid. Nonetheless, I’m happy to know I serve a God that shows forth Grace and Mercy to every one of us. He knows we can’t keep ourselves, and our flesh craves after the ungodly things of the world… But, it’s our responsibility to remain GROUNDED and ROOTED in the Word, so that we’ll have the power to fight against temptations as they rise.

Tonight, I take the initiative to reconstruct the old workable cell groups again. So, if there’s any God fearing women, who feel just like me… You have a desire to do right, but you need that extra push, let’s team up together and PUSH each other into Heaven’s gates. It’s important that we Pray without ceasing and read God’s Word, and we can make it happen as long as we have FAITH the size of a mustard seed… I’m waiting, inbox me please 🙂

BnfEnT (CEO Son Son – DMV)

I give myself away

“I give myself away”

William McDowell – I Give Myself Away:

New dedication, new mindset, new task, and onward for Christ Jesus!!!

Last I posted, I was steadfast on the fact that I was waiting for and believing God, against all odds, for a breakthrough in my once chaotic relationship, and that my ex would eventually call, and we’d be miraculously reunited.

Without fail, God gave me my hearts desire, because that’s one of His promises, in His Holy Word, and He’ll never disappoint. Easter morning the phone rang, and I purposely held my composure, to not let him know that I was anxious to hear from him, we talked, and hooked up later that evening. You won’t believe it was a complete disaster!!!

Now, I could’ve been angry with God, asking what kind of games are You playing, it wasn’t suppose to turn out that way. But, I kept an open mind, and looked at it all from a different perspective. I was the one begging for this, so God did in fact Bless in my favor. But, that had absolutely nothing to do with the way my ex was feeling about us, and God could’ve very well changed his heart throughout the course of the day, to make him be receptive and approachable during our rendezvous. But, God is gentle and won’t even force us to do right by Him, make less force any of us into a relationship we’re not interested in pursuing.

With all that said, I just knew after parting ways with him that I’d sink into the deepest depression I’d ever experienced… Nope, total opposite! God gave me the presence of mind to thank Him for the opportunity, grab my phone and block communication, and carry on with the work He has lined up for me to perform. Not one tear fell, I actually got an instant burst of energy, as if I were renewed through and through.

Immediately, I came to the realization that my ex’s job in my life was finished, he had done what God needed him to do, and that was to bring me back into full knowledge and association with Him. God has ways of getting our attention, and my ex was purely the conduit that kept me on my knees and ever before the face of God crying out for direction and deliverance from the mess I had once again entangled myself in.

Believe it or not, all are not intended to be married, it is written. So, I’ve relinquished all to God, telling Him until He sees fit for me to be with someone, I’ll remain His servant, and happily work on His battlefield without contempt. I surrendered my all to Him, to use me as He pleases, knowing deep in my heart that happiness will follow my endurance, if I faint not.

Doing it God’s way

Without Faith, it’s impossible to please God… Faith is the substance of things hoped for and the evidence of things not seen!!!

Starting today, I change the way I look at, declare & decree, and Pray about my ex and relationship. “NO MORE” will I act and react in the natural, as it relates to how I feel about what I’m experiencing, and continue to sabotage my Blessing.

No matter how it actually is, (not calling, probably being unfaithful, and not even thinking about me as I am him) those things won’t determine how I respond.

Imma child of God, and No good thing shall He withhold from us who walk upright before Him. But, I can’t be double minded though, once I get frustrated, change my Prayers and ask God to take the very thought of him outta my mind, knowing that’s not how my heart actually feels… I’m the one losing and crushing myself ultimately.

I’m believing with all my heart of hearts that God formed our bond from the start and had always been well pleased with the works He performed, but our insecurities, fears, lack of communication and wrongdoings wedged repetitive blocks between us. Nevertheless, we’re not too damaged for God to reconnect… What God joins together, let NO man put asunder.

No, God won’t force our ex’s to be with us, just to heal our broken hearts, if they’re happier where they’ve moved on to. But, if there’s at least one iota of hope within, He begins the process of reunification and before long happiness is in the air again.

I tried old boyfriends and social dating to no avail, and that’s minutely because my true feelings are to him and I would’ve only used the other guy as a pawn anyways and that’s not fair to them nor Godly. So, I’m glad it failed. I’m doing this with every glimmer of hope and I’ll be sure to keep you all abreast along the way. God Bless… Love ya

R.I.P. Paulette “Passion” Williams-Murphy

Normally, this would be a time of sadness, mourning, grieving, and a lot of tears being shed. On the contrary, I’ll tell you firsthand… Let any tears that flow be ones of JOY, for this is a glorious time for anyone who experiences this type of death (DYING TO SELF). Where you take on the John 3:3-7 type of death and burial, which totally denounces the flesh and all its wicked desires all together.

Believe me, I’m haaaappppyyyy as a Lark, for I know it’s all uphill from here… Nooooooo good thing will God withhold from me now, because I took the initiative to put Him first and at the forefront of my life, and teach me how to Walk in newness, and I’m excited to proclaim the effects of the Holy Spirit living within and controlling my everyday activities is purely evident.

Thursday, I went to the nail salon, for beautification purposes, and my eldest daughter later joined me, and it was amazing to her how good I was doing upon her arrival and the farewell before leaving… Her jaws dropped, and she just had to say something, which made me even happier about my transformation… Her words were  “wow, I can’t believe what I just saw, maaaaannnnnnn you’re doing good lately, you’ve really changed”!!! That’s how it should be, I don’t have to run around hollering (I’m a Christian)… No indeed, it should be apparent, when people watch you, that God is working out your Salvation, and removing EVERYTHING that could ever inadvertently hinder your Walk.

See, she was use to me coming home with stories about me cursing an artist out, boutta fight somebody, or totally getting banned from the establishment… ” NO MORE “ all those negative attributes, characteristics, and ill personalities are finished… Just like Jesus himself declared as He took His last breath!!!

Ain’t Nooooooo stopping me now. Long lines in grocery stores can’t get me upset, hideous traffic no longer upsets me, people backbiting and gossiping about me can’t get me to respond… That old person, with all those chaotic ways is DDDDEEEEAAAADDDD!!!

The llliiiitttttttllllleeeee engine that COULD!!!

I think I can, I think I can, I think I can… I KNOW I CAN 🙂 🙂 🙂

If God be for me, He’s more than all the hurt, pain, malice, strife and agony that could ever come against me.

Therefore, of course I can… I’ve made it nearly through my entire shift and I’ll be here every day of the week to come. I decree and declare that I’m strong in Christ who died on the cross for the remission of my sins… How do I look allowing anything or anybody to cause me this much grief???

I’m not, and won’t think ordinary… With God only extraordinary things of excellence can become of me and to me… I’m determined to make it, and if it means I’ll have to remove the rearview mirror from my vehicle then so be it… Because there’s Nooooooo lookin BBBBAAAAACCCCCKKKKK.

This whole idiocy has only thrusts me closer to God and caused Him to draw me nearer… “Touch not my anointed, and do my prophets Nooooooo harm”!

Daddy, I love You for even bringing us through messes we place ourselves in… Yes, I brought this all on myself… But, God!!! That’s when His mercies are new and everlasting in my life… Thank You Jesus for being a friend to me, who sticks closer than a brother… My tears have been minimal to none… That’s God or nah???

Follow me as I allow Christ to LEAD!!!

Grace is not an excuse to sin… Instead, it’s the POWER of the Holy Spirit, WHO helps you not to!!!

Just because we have Grace available to cover us, when we accidentally mess up, that don’t mean that we should arbitrarily do wrong. Yes, God is merciful and He’ll forgive us each time we fall short, but Plllleeeeeaaaaassssseeee believe punishment is adamant.

If you’re living in an adulterous relationship, know that you’re playing with fire and take a stand today to get out of it. You’re playing with God and straddling the fence, and before long He’ll release you over to the enemy, and allow him to consume you.

You may be committing a sin, and thinking it’s partly Ok, because it’s your only way to make ends meet (prostituting, selling drugs, embezzlement, etc.) STOP!!! God has your back, and I know that’s easier said than done, especially since I can’t say I know what you’re experiencing… No I can’t, in that aspect. But, I’ve been in predicaments where I had to totally Trust God and He deftly came through for me.

I had four babies with Nooooooo food to feed them, and God sent a lady shopping for us and she arrived at our home with her trunk and back seat full of enough food to last us at least two months… So, I can bear witness/attest to His remarkable capabilities.

God knows all our needs, but we still have to Pray to Him for the help we need. Going back to the affair, if it’s been years, I can only imagine how hard it’ll be to sever all ties with the one person you love most… Do it, without thinking twice, and watch God show up and show out for you. The person He’ll send will be ten times better, and most important, they’ll be yours 🙂

Before we were even formed in our mother’s womb, God already had a map laid, allotting exactly how He wanted the course to go, of course it’d be wonderful if we had a copy of the plans, and could walk it out, then we more than likely wouldn’t veer. On the other hand, it is what it is, we have to patiently wait on God to give us bits and pieces, and we simply have to Trust Him to make no mistakes. In the interim, we get into all kinds of craziness, trynna rush into success, happiness, prosperity or wealth… Whatever the case, it’s not part of God’s blueprint and must go, in order for us to ever have the pleasure of enjoying the goods He has in store for us.

Each morning, die to self and allow the Holy Spirit to take over and watch how much better your day unfolds. For those settling for illicit money making schemes, I know it sounds ludacris that you should walk away from the only thing that’s been feeding your family for all these years… But, you must put all your Faith in God, that He’ll make ways for you, when it looks like there’s no way. That’s when it’s gonna be amazing and He’ll get the most gratitude, and He loves every bit of that… When you’re able to testify on how you went cold turkey, Trusting Him fully, and He not only came through, but He went beyond your expectations. God is Marvelous, Miraculous, Rich, Compassionate, Affectionate and Powerful.

Once He sees us putting forth an effort… That’s His invitation to jump in and the rest is history. Therefore, do what’s Godly right to do, and utilize Grace appropriately 🙂 🙂 🙂

Da APPLE don’t fall far from Da TREE

Proverbs 22:6
6 “Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.”

Starting October 26, 1993, following this charge was imperative in my life, and I set out to do just that… In fact my children say they couldn’t wait to get grown, so I couldn’t FORCE them to go to Church any longer. I mean we attended service EVERY time the doors opened, I may have over did it! But, that was because of my lifestyle before transformation, and my believing that we needed extra cleansing, in order to be RIGHT with God. Nonetheless, the Word never lied, because my babies know the goodness of God, and He’s Who they depend on in the time of troubles. To add, they have dignity and integrity, due to the long hours we spent with God. Therefore, it panned out to be worth it :-). Now, let’s meet my clan… I just love these little critters 🙂

My oldest: Kia D. Johnson

kia red

We call her the “Grandma” of the family, because she has an old soul lol. She’s married to her Junior High school sweetheart, and they have three wonderful babies. On Kia’s wedding day, I dedicated a marvelous song to her, and she and I danced together to it… We had a great time in the Lord.

It’s been crazy throughout Kia’s life, we use to think we were twins somehow… because if I got sick, within days she’d come down with the same sickness. If I got a scratch or scar, before long she’d have the same one in the same place… weird but amazingly cute and sentimental. Kia’s personality is unimaginable, I’ve always told her no matter how much the enemy tries to get you to change, by making you think you humble ways allows people to walk all over you… never change, because God made you the way you are, and many people would die to be that way, you merely have the Fruits of God’s Spirit operating inside… Be Thankful!

Me and Kia have worked together at several different companies, to include our current positions with the USPS, where we’ve been employed for nearly three years. God is AWESOME 🙂 🙂 🙂

Here’s Kia’s oldest Bryius, we’re believing God that he’ll play either professional football or basketball. He’s humongous, but in a good way – He has the height to dunk the ball, and the weight to tackle on defense… God makes NO mistakes!!!

drama

I love this kid to pieces, always giving of himself to help others, just like his Mommy… Keep up the GOOD work Drama, Nana sees all! Here is Kia’s second oldest Bry’kuise, we’re believing God that we’ll see him on the big screens. He’s so talented, and has been doing skits and mimicking movie scenes for years now… his day is coming real soon… Thank You Daddy in advance 🙂

dank

Remember this lil handsome face, because you’ll definitely see it again… Nana’s Child Prodigy. Lastly, we have Kia’s only girl, who she Prayed for and wanted so bad… Here’s Blessed

diva

Too early to know what God has in store for her, but I know it’ll be WONDERFUL… Because He wouldn’t have it no other way. He never desires for us to live in lack and a mediocre life.

Next, meet my only son Vincent who built a entertainment business from the ground up, and he works full time as a manager at a lucrative bread company… Vincent was Blessed with optimum rap skills, and has already put out one mix tape… He always makes Mama proud. He has two biological children and one step son. Here’s Vincent

son son

Look for him, performing, in your city in the upcoming months. Very creative lyricist, with 10k fans all across the country… Keep going baby, take us to the top!!! Vincent’s oldest is a beautiful little girl, who the enemy is keeping from us at the moment. But, Prayer changes everything! So, even that situation will eventually unfold in our favor. Meet Najea

najae

I love you baby girl… People use to think she was my daughter, she looks so much like me… In due time you’ll be back with us if I faint not, and keep doing right by God. Here’s Tonio, Vincent’s son through common-law marriage

tonio

This young man has been with us since the age of two, and we love and accept him just like the rest. Last for Vincent is his twin baby boy fatty

fatty

He too will play some type of sports professionally, his body structure says football, and just know we’re totally behind you baby boy… go for it! Your sky has no limits 🙂

Next, meet my Mini-Me,

mia

everybody says she not only looks just like the younger me, but she has all my personality traits as well. She too followed in my footsteps career wise and is currently employed at USPS. And there’s something else special about this young lady, she gave us the first set of twins in three generations… blew my mind when I heard they were coming, and it’s been astonishing watching them thus far… Twins are unique, the way they interact with each other and the world, and these boys are tricking us already and they’re only two… If you ask them their names, they switch up on you… so cute :-). Thank God they’re fraternal or we’d be in trouble lol! But, here’s Mia’s first girl Zai’kiyah

ky

This is the Mommy of the younger ones, she gives all the orders, and really knows how to apply make up too lol. Next , we got Zai’Riyah

ry

You can tell by the pic, she got personality… But, believe it or not, she’s quiet and shy. Now, the grand finale for Mia is the infamous twins… meet Marvin & Malone

twins

these babies are a MUST see… so much different than my children and my other grandchildren… they were truly cut from a different cloth SMH 🙂

The last of the Mohicans is my baby girl Anthonya,

noodles

I’m so proud of her, she successfully finished her training course, in Nursing Assistance and went on to get state certified, and is employed at Howard University Hospital and has one little girl Ms. Xoe

xoe

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Family is my number one priority, and seeing to it that we all live right is a must!!! I’m a stickler for Prayer, and having a concrete relationship with God, and I do my best to make sure my children instill nothing but the best in their children… for they are our futures.

From PITIFUL to POWERFUL

Pitiful: Sad, Miserable, Insufficient, Pathetic, Poor, Meager & Trifling

“NO MORE” I’m in CONTROL, with the HELP of Christ, in determining the course of my life, and I decide that the above words DONOT define me!!! I have set my standards and expectations high, and will move on towards my destiny in newness. I decree and declare that I won’t be a slave any longer to the sins that use to have me bound. Instead, each day I’ll surrender my ALL to God, and allow Him free reign in my life.

Before this, I had to drink every day, just to be able to be sociable, if not I was irritated and angry. Not, knowing that I was actually doing myself an injustice, because the temporary fix was doing nothing but damaging my organs, while appearing to keep me happy. Any mind-altering substance that we take pleasure in, and allow the enemy to trick us with, only separates us from God. True, we live by Grace, and Thank God for that! Nonetheless, we are responsible for our actions, and willfully sinning definitely warrants repercussions and punishment. Several of my friends and love ones today are suffering from or have died from cirrhosis of the liver, which is a direct derivative of chronic alcoholism… Lord I Thank You for deliverance 🙂

Powerful: Strong, Sturdy, Robust, Solid, Influential, Dominant, Compelling, Convincing & Persuasive 🙂

Nooooooooooo Stopping me now… I move through life these days with assurance, never PROUD though! I will never lose my humbleness, because I know God can snatch it all in a blink of an eye. And it’s never been me to make anyone feel inferior, and besides, God is no respecter of person… What He’s done for me, He’ll definitely do for the next. That’s why my Prayers aren’t self-seeking. Rather I Pray for EVERYONE to be Blessed, Successful and Happy.

God’s Word states: For the LORD God is a sun and shield: the LORD will give grace and glory: no good thing will he withhold from them that walk uprightly.

With that ^^^^^^ in mind, I keep in mind ALL the good things that I want to occur for me and mine, and Thank God in advance for them, in Faith, that they’re coming in His time. I look at it like this… The Blessings God has for us are humongous, and we have to be ready for them, that’s why the cleaning/purging process had to take place in my life, and once He feels that I’ll be a good steward over what He gives me… I’ll soar 🙂 🙂 🙂 I’m getting CLOSE, no doubt… I can feel and see prosperity all around me each day… and like always; Daddy, I Thank You for all You’ve done, doing now, and gonna do for us all… Have YOUR way in our lives… And much appreciation and GRATITUDE sent Your way merely for Who YOU are… Love You to pieces 🙂

Traveling the long road HOME

Ultimately, EVERYONE wants to end up in HEAVEN opposed to thinking about spending eternity in hell, where you’ll burn forever, with no likely relief. Not to suggest that it’d ever be ok to end up there, but if you knew you were damned to burn for ONLY a certain amount of time, then maybe it wouldn’t be so scary. On the other hand, you’ll never be able to escape torment and turmoil… It will be excruciating pain and agony.

Therefore, start TODAY living your life in a way that you’re confident that you’ll be a worthy candidate for HEAVEN. And we do this by having and keeping a close relationship with God, studying His Word, Praying to & Praising Him, and following His Commandments. Making it to HEAVEN requires that we have an intimate relationship with God and accept that Jesus is His ONLY begotten Son, sent to die on the cross for the remission of our sins. That’s what Praise is all about; even if we don’t have nothing, in our minds, that brings about excitement, the mere fact Jesus suffered in our place is reason enough.

All He went through FOR US should cause us to Praise Him regularly!!! Just think of the troubles you’ve faced and near death experiences you encountered or never even have to face, simply because He paid it forward SMH. How could we even second guess living right, to show our appreciation for His sacrificial death? To me, we make a mockery of Jesus when we willfully sin and dance around with the devil on a day-to-day basis, as if what He did for us was mediocre… He was human, and the lashes He took to His flesh was REAL.

I put emphasis on TODAY because tomorrow ain’t promised to any of us… Death is adamant, there’s no question that we all will leave this earth someday. The imperative question at hand is where will our Spirit go thereafter? Choose now, to surrender your all to Christ, first thanking Him for His offering on our behalves. Then, ask Him into your heart, mind and soul, to help you live upright daily. Although, He knows our shortcomings, still confess them aloud, and allow Him the ability to help you get it right, so that you’ll be PLEASING in His sight. Earth ain’t my home! I don’t know about y’all, but I’m overjoyed about and can’t wait so see my mansion in Heaven, not only for the beauty within. But, more because I know I’ll never worry, cry, hurt, be sad, mad, envious, nor distraught again :-).

God loves us unconditionally, and it’s NOT His desire that ANY of us should live in lack or perish… Let Him in, it’s nothing like a connection with God and the reassurance that HEAVEN will eventually be your peaceful HOME. See ya there 🙂

If you’re HAPPY and you know it clap your hands… CLAP, CLAP!

Praise Is What I Do – William Murphy: http://youtu.be/vIPKnj-0Czw

God inhabits the Praises of His people. When our Praises go up, showing gratitude adoration, admiration and appreciation, undoubtedly an abundance of Blessings WILL come raining down.

We take the good God does for us for granted far too much. The food He provides, the homes we live in, the vehicles we drive, the bills we pay, the safety we enjoy, the clothes on backs, etc. None of those things do we technically deserve, it’s only because of His Grace and Mercy that we’re not consumed, and being Blessed with more than enough or at least what is sufficient to sustain us.

Even aside from all the STUFF He does for us and gives us, we can do Him the Honor of thanking Him just for Who He is in our lives… Without Him there’d be no you!!! He saw fit to breathe air into your lungs and give you life, that wasn’t His duty… Lest we should have the attitude “uhhhhhh, that’s His job” – Nooooooo pumpernickel bread… He owes us nothing, and Him providing for us definitely deserves a round of applause… I mean that’s the least we can do, considering we’re not barely getting by. Rather, we’re living an amazing, wonderful and awesome life.

Make it a practice each day, to spend the first couple of minutes Praising God, telling Him how Good He is, and thank Him for what He’s done, doing and going to do for you and yours. Plllleeeeeaaaaassssseeee, refrain from asking for anything during this time, just let Him get His shine on 🙂 He loves to feel puffed up, and deserves every second of it. By the way, even if you miss the quality time with Him at the start of the day… Don’t trip, He Neeeeeevvvveeerr sleeps nor slumbers! The same way you can access Him in a state of an emergency – when in need. Likewise, He’s open for our outpour of Praise 24/7/365 as well. Sooooooo, let’s make Him HAAAAPPPPYYYY by making crescendos happen.

Dysfunctional family… Be NOT bitter or dismayed

 

1 Peter 2:9-10

9 “But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light. 10 Once you were not a people, but now you are the people of God; once you had not received mercy, but now you have received mercy.”

No doubt, living in or being a product of a dysfunctional family can definitely be overwhelming. But, what matters most is your attitude, actions, reactions and responses. Make it a daily habit to remind yourself that you’re not in this alone. God placed you there for a purpose, and He’s surely with you through it all.

In most cases, your charge is to become that beacon of light and set apart from the rest. So that you may lead the lost ones to Salvation. Hard I know, but not impossible! Determination and repetition is imperative, and not you merely giving lip service, about what everyone else needs to do. Rather, you are to be the model they can follow and appreciate… Live a righteous life of example before them, and before you know it conversion will run through each person like a domino effect.

You may be thinking “Things are too bad here, nothing will ever change the course of this household”. Not true, God already knows about the drug usage, verbal & mental abuse, theft, lies, gossip, backbiting and slander; to say the least, that you endure regularly, and He wants you to know He’s well pleased with your staying abilities. Moreover, your breakthrough is near, and He’s about to turn every test you’ve passed into TESTIMONIES.

You did well in refraining from murmuring and complaining… Never considering yourself to be a victim. Instead, you remained strong as a VICTOR!!! Keep up the good work fam, everything is working in your favor. Look to see change very soon… But, you gotta believe. No matter how it looks, even if the enemy tries to show you reasons why God can’t possibly be on your side… Shut him up with your Faith, by exclaiming the goodness of God thus far.

Now, walk with pomp and circumstance, into your destiny, knowing that you’re more than a conqueror 🙂

The Winans Millions: http://youtu.be/So_LUItMFc8

H.U.T. (HOLDING US TOGETHA)

This here acronym is well known to my babies, and has derived to be an uh oh moment for them. But, I don’t like that one bit, and it MUST change!!!

H.U.T. initially evolved because I wasn’t HAPPY about the fact that my children had matured into adults and were pursuing their own lives, and I didn’t get to see them as often as I wanted to, and I surprisingly was MISSING all (11) of my grandchildren. Well, to be quite honest, things haven’t improved at ALL since the plan of action was supposedly set in motion… But, that’s the reason for this post 🙂 🙂 🙂

FAMILY is Ohhhhh Soooooo important to me, and I struggle with the fact that my siblings and I aren’t as close as desired, which MEANS I look even more for my IMMEDIATE family to fill the void… then, I don’t have girlfriends that I spend quality time with. So, I long for ATTENTION from my babies. Purposely, so that I don’t become a burden to them, I ONLY require that we ALL get TOGETHER once a month… Now, of course WHEN God Blesses US with MORE time TOGETHER that’s a plus.

There’s nothing like seeing my babies smiling and laughing WITH one another, while WE reminisce about old times. The uh oh moment I referred to earlier is regarding the ZERO tolerance rule that’s been in affect since each child broke through the womb… my babies are NOT allowed altercations and grudges… NO way shape, form or fashion will I EVER stand for that. As children, when sibling rivalry reared its ugly head, they had to stand in the middle of the floor hugging for hours, if NEED be, unless they quickly resolved their spat.

The ELEVEN I mentioned are growing daily, and doing new exciting things on the regular… I MUST be a part of ALL that. Noooooooooo longer am I settling for mobile phone videos and pics… H E double hockey sticks NO… I want to see those special moments in the flesh 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂

God is AWESOME, this morning HE had me write my sister and ask her to help me formulate a FAMILY reunion. Now, that’ll suffice the entire FAMILY coming TOGETHER… But, won’t replace my expectations for FAMILY orientation amongst my clan… sorry, but you won’t get off that easy!!!

The entire summer, ALL I did was cringe EVERY time I opened Facebook, because families, that WE have known for years, was doing da mug… turnt up – TOGETHER, like they were suppose to be… I’m talking bout endless pics, representing the fun and happiness they were experiencing… Noooooooooo MORE, from this day forward, my babies BETTER get ready, cause it’s on and popping… EVERY month WE will be hooking up, the whole lineage -TOGETHER doing sum big… I won’t have it NO other way.

Shoot, my grandchildren WILL know, by mimicking US, how to interact with each other once they make their own families… I WANT them to be able to say… “Man, ALL I remember was my Nana made ALL us get TOGETHER monthly and do something fun, and I really appreciated OUR time together… Soooooo, I’m implementing the same course of action for me and mine”

“Train up a child in the way they should go, and WHEN they’re older, they won’t depart from it” Reciprocation and repetition is essential for growing babies… they witness reciprocated love and happiness amongst the adults in their atmosphere and environment… As they reach adulthood they’ll carry on in the same manner. Also, if the outings and togetherness is repetitious, they’ll see that interactions with FAMILY MEMBERS has to be numero uno.

Love you ALL, let Jesus teach you how to KEEP your FAMILY close 🙂 🙂 🙂

Jesus saves!!!