Watch “Dauglyducklin.org presents Naked & UNAFRAID (4/22/19 – 1)” on YouTube

Thinking back, allowing myself to be isolated, like I have been for the past week, would have driven me bonkers. But God!!! There’s a huge important difference, between isolation and CONSECRATION, and I pick the latter, for 200 Steve 👌💗💞🙏💋💖🙌💕❤️👍

It’s now or never, point blank #PERIODTT, and I wholeheartedly say Yes Lord, have Your way in, through and with me, for all else has failed, and I’m finally convinced, that You are, the Way, Truth and the Light, and no man shall make it to the Father, but by You.

NO MORE running, I surrender my everything to You, and I’m readily available, to be used as Your vessel, just lead, guide and direct me, according to Your Righteous plan for my life. Wash me, and make me whole, purge me with hissop, and I shall be clean, bridle my tongue, and go into the inner most parts of me, and REMOVE any and everything, that’s not right and like You!!!

No, it won’t be an overnight transition, and I may fall 1,000 more times, before I’ll get it right, but just know, that it’s my earnest desire, to walk upright before You, and turn from my wicked ways. I’m beyond thankful, for Your Grace and Mercy, which are both new for me each day, and I come now, with a repented heart and a made up mind, to please You, from here on out, in all that I do and say… Please take now, and keep total control, of my entire being, and direct me, down Your path, that leads to eternal Peace, Love, Happiness and Joy… Hallelujah and Amen 💯💯💯

From March 30, 2014

Before walking in to work, I was vexed in my spirit because the word “capsize” continued to maneuver through my brain. Instantly, I looked the word up, to obtain a better understanding of what, if anything, God was trynna show me, but the definition was disheartening and scary; so I prayed for EVERYONE then posted my Lil warning… Nonetheless, I still didn’t feel the settling within that I expected or shall I say like what normally occurs following intercession… That comfort that overcomes me, reassuring me that all is well. However, I proceeded on, setting up my work station, entrusting all to my Father… Then, a small still voice spoke “your life” I’m like huh??? Again, He reiterated “YOUR LIFE, and went on to express to me that my life is getting ready to flip for the better… Everything about me has to and will change… Not as time passes on… Ohhhhh no my dear, you don’t have that type of time… You have known about your calling since 1993 but never hearkened… No, I won’t force Myself upon you, for I’m a gentleman at best. But, know that I have work for you to do and it’s NOT optional”!!!

On any other day, this experience would have scared me outta my wits… But, God is a God of order, and disarray fits no where in His schema… Therefore, His omniscient powers already for seen this turn of events, and He had me prepared… For the past three days, there’s been no Drake, Sevyn Streeter nor Lil Wayne bumping through my Bluetooth, instead, I’ve been eating good from none other than Bishop T.D. Jakes, and his messages have all been flowing in the direction God needed me to trod.

Even writing about it now I can feel God’s presence and His fresh anointing is ever so near and comforting… I love You Daddy, and I thank You for Your patience, grace and mercy that’s always shown evident in my life… Even down to the generation that my grand babies are living out now… You talking bout AWESOME; there’s absolutely NONE like You, and most definitely, I say yes to Your will and way for our lives… All 16 of us… To include (My four and their eleven) 💓

EROS LOVE 1 (10/17/17 Tuesday)

Keep the fire 🔥 lit and never get caught looking a hot mess, the same way you looked the day you guys met is the same way you’re expected to look daily, never become complacent and start walking around the house for days with your Don King hair do, no shower, no pedicure… Come on now, we gotta do better ladies, and men, keep dat face and head shaped up and bathe regularly as well!!!

Get da flash drive, sexy lingerie and smell good oils and take each other to ecstasy… Next on the list is CLIMAX, THEN STRAIGHT BUMPING AND GRINDING 👌💣🕒⏳💯🎭😰😍☒😴😢😬🔒🎶

EROS LOVE 1 (CLICK HERE PLEASE)

Click LINK ABOVE to view the full video

Nothing beats insolvency but a TRY!!!

Because I love YOU

Grant it, we all go “THROUGH” rough times, and understandably so, considering our Father own the cattle on a thousand hills!!! The devil BIG mad or little mad??? Without a shadow of doubt, know that He’s got the WHOLE world in His hands, and it ain’t but so much lucifer can do to us and keep us ostracized, bound, sad, hurt ad plenty more other bouts of emotions his wicked curve balls attempt to invoke once twirled.

The emphasis put on through shows that there’s a pot of gold at the end of EVERY RAINBOW, we just gotta remain steadfast and keep right on PUSHING… Love yall to pieces… Stay Encouraged and Prayed Up 🙂

How do you begin again???

It’s been sooooo long since I’ve dated, and now I don’t have a clue how to even get started anew.

I was thinking about just remaining single, and continue to work, retire and eventually enjoy life… but I’m NO hermit crab, and this day to day loneliness is really getting to me SMH.

Then, I said I’ll start going out again, so that I can attract men. But, nowadays where do you even go, to be sure NOT to end up with the same type of men that’s been in my life grrrrrrrhhhhhhh.

In need of HELP

Hello,

My name is Paulette Williams and I work daily for USPS and have my own means of transportation. However, as of May 31, 2016 my husband and I will need a place to stay. I can’t afford much, but I’m willing to pay our way. We will take a basement, single room, RV, or even a shed.

OLD to me… NEW for you!!!

Noooooo sleep crew… check-in!!! WYA & WYD??? is a little slogan I add to my Facebook timeline every time  I’m up for no unlikely reason, with seemingly nuttin to do… WRONG!!! God’s not dead. Therefore, it’s always sum’n to do, as long as all the craziness is going on in the world all around me. That’s when Praying in the Spirit becomes imperative.

I find myself angry a lot because my rental unit, that God Blessed me with is even further away from my family then the shelter was, and it appears I’m always lonely. But, that’s definitely a part of God’s Perfect Plan for my life. God knows exactly what He wants to do through me. But, I have to pure, open, humble and totally surrendered. READY to be that conduit that He can use.

Believe it or not… this video has nuttin to do with anything I just mentioned. It’s actually from 9/29/15, and never got uploaded because I was stupidly quitting again… But, I’mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm Back!!!

It’s a FAMILY AFFAIR!!!

The pic is my only son’s baby son. He’s actually in the the Vlog, and he made sure to give a shout out to his Father for being a well known rapper from Washington DC… I thought that was sooooooo cute.

God is AWESOME, and actually got two of my three daughters to come to Church today and six of my grandchildren… I have not stopped smiling since they arrived.

My daughter had to finish off my hair, which turned out beautiful… and while she did I cooked up some good ole chicken that was mouth watering good… ALL the adults was licking their fingers and complementing me, and that just made my smilitis worse lol.

I was sooooooo haaaappppyyyy about the message God sent their way, because they were really captivated and listening. Therefore, I’m convinced that they’re not too far off from God’s Grace, and it won’t take much to reel them back in.

My son, in the other hand, will just have to come on his own, as God speaks to his heart. My daughter said don’t force him, because he’ll simply reject it more and more each time, to the point where he may start avoiding me altogether. But, Prayer changes things and God is ultimately in control and can get my son’s attention way far better than I EVER could… So, patiently I await!!!

Things are looking UP for me, and that covers a multitude of the previous bad… Hallelujah!!!

The pic is Carrot Top, my son’s fiance’s son. He’s been in the family for eleven years, and he’s loved and accepted just as my biological grand babies.

Forgive me for it being sooooooo low, I was sneaking and making this Vlog, at work in the break room. This is one of my early morning days SMH, having to get up and leave out while it’s still dark. But, I will not complain, because going in like that guarantees me eight hours… Ooooooooohhhhhhhhh yoppington 🙂 🙂 🙂

Gotta really get more serious about Church. The same way I didn’t miss school not one day, and wouldn’t dare EVER miss work, I can’t be lenient about about the importance of seeking the face of God EVERY single time them doors open. I’m pressed to be at work to pay bills, by trivial things and make sure I’m up on the latest fashion, and I was sooooooo haaaappppyyyy about trynna obtain my degree, to the point where missing class was Neeeeeevvvveeerr an option… Sick, sleepy or half dead, it didn’t matter, I had a goal and I wouldn’t deviate. Buuuuuutttttttt, it’s OK to miiiiisssssssssss Church several times a month, even after I begged for Sundays off and finally got iiiiittttttttt… Where’s my loyalty to God??? ALL while I’m depending on Him to Bless me with 40 hrs a week at work, a home of my own and Salvation for my entire family. That’s simply me using God as a spare tire, only getting benefits out of Him when it’s in my favor. Not right at ALL, and must change immediately!!!

ALL is well… “No GOOD thing shall I withhold from those who walk uprightly”

Haaaaappppyyyy biiiirrrrtttthhhhddddaaaayyy Mini Me… Her turning the big 5 today. Her mother says she’s been long awaiting this day for some time now… I think it’s because her big sister was five for what seems like forever lol. Secret is though, she don’t realize she didn’t catch up with her; instead her sister left her in age again and turned six… Shhhhhh, don’t nobody tell her.

Well, I Neeeeeevvvveeerr did get a plate last night. But, God kept me anyways… Them cheese crackers did me wonders… yummy 🙂 🙂 🙂 That’s just God breaking me out of being so picky.

Today’s Scripture made me think of the Prodigal son, and how he was accepted back into his family without chaos… That’s how easily God receives us back after we stray, and that gives me hope, that He’s not angry with me when I fall short.

When you’re going through and having a bad day,  purposely seek out someone you can encourage. Lifting up others will lift your spirits as well.

I’m homeless, but my Father says… He plans to prosper me, no harm; rather give me Hope & a Future!!!

The pic is my oldest grandson, my oldest daughter’s son, you’ll meet his brother tomorrow and his Mom and Lil sister soon.

“I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

The pic is my oldest grandson, my oldest daughter’s son, you’ll meet his brother tomorrow and his Mom and Lil sister soon.God is GOOD, and I spent yesterday getting a chance to really look back on ALL the things He so Graciously saved me from… All the times I crazily put myself in harms way and He continually brought me out… Thank You Daddy 🙂

I’ve ALWAYS asked God why in the world He chose me to work for Him, when I was the worst one of my Mother’s seven children, and the other’s appeared to be a perfect fit for anything He needed done… They were more suttle and calm spirited, unlike me. But, His wants is all that matters, and I still say YEEEEESSSSSSS… Nooooooo matter the cost.

Once you surrender to God, there is no picking and choosing what you’ll allow Him to do through, for and with you… Obedience is better than sacrifice. Therefore, adhere and harken unto His calls!!!

I’m homeless – but it ain’t over, and who cares about da fat lady singing? This ends wit God opening doors dat man can’t close!!!

The featured pic is my Lil granddaughter, the sister of the twin baby boys and my middle daughter’s oldest daughter. She just had a bday, so give her a shout out real quick!!! I’m doing her Lil sister in 3 days on her bday. So, once again we’ll be celebrating for the babies.

I told y’all Jesus has a sense of humor, and He’s a friend who sticks closer than a brother. This morning I was upset about how my job is doing me with my hours, and just as soon as I started the car “Magnify” by Marvin Sapp came on real loud, and I forgot instantly about that sadness, and broke out in a dancing Praise… It was sooooooo hilarious, you’d have to had been there to see it. I guarantee you would have cracked your side, because it wasn’t purposeful or nothing, it just happen. Then, I caught myself and bust out laughing, like “that was a Kodak moment right there.”

Mad about the decrease in pay. Buuuuuutttttttt, I ain’t gon trip… God gotta have sum planned for me to do. Sooooooo, after I grab some grub and eat, Imma let Him lead me.

Be careful when changing crafts at work, so that you don’t do yourself an injustice, as I did SMH ggggrrrrrrhhhhhh. I’m the big dummy I guess lol. Pressed for more money, but ended up with less hours, so it don’t freekin pay off… Some body needs to give me a V8 slap!!!

Da Ugly Ducklin – The Transparent Me 8/25/15 (DAY 37)

Today is TALK ABOUT IT TUESDAY

Hair is a mess… gggggrrrrrrrrrhhhhhhhhh! All the back to school babies beat me to the punch with my hair stylist

Still tremendously sleepy… This is ridiculous how fast training came about geesh!!!

Day three of lessons reminding us to make the best use of our time… No Godless chatter, backbiting or gossip

Read God’s Word, Pray, Praise & Worship… We need God like we do food for the nourishments of our body

Make sure your line of importance runs like this God first, others second then focus on yourself thereafter

During transition, your mate has to understand that you’re not shunning them but tired instead, and trying to adjust

My dream is to be in FULL-TIME Ministry for God, then life will definitely be less stressful

Be careful not to act as the world does just because they’re family… “Be NOT conformed to this world…”

Use your talents for God and watch Him increase you like never before

Another poor presentation (Vlog) toooooooo sleepy, and not at my best SMH! Please forgive me

Da Ugly Ducklin – The Transparent Me 8/24/15 (DAY 36)

Today is MAKE EM SMILE MONDAY

Even if you’re use to the atmosphere at your current job, realize change comes with elevation and transformation

How can God take you higher if you keep fear as your confidant or companion?… Trust and Obey!!!

Please forgive me… Terrible Vlog… Sleepy to the fifth power!!!

Miserably sleep deprived… Jesus HAS the wheel!!!

Can’t wait to get situated!!! So outta my element, and so many arenas of my life is being negatively impacted SMH

My Rick Warren emails always comes at 4:44 am, this means my Angels are with me… Thank You Daddy 🙂

Make the best use of your time, remembering that an idle mind is the devil’s playground… Keep him far far away!!!

Watching myself fall asleep while driving… Totally DANGEROUS 😦 😦 😦

When you do wrong,quickly repent,turn from your wicked ways and hop back on the battlefield for Christ

Compliment and/or encourage anyone today, especially those who are normally insecure

Stream televangelists to your TV, so that you can spend quality time with God

Rest is important both spiritually and naturally… Pray for me to start back resting well again. Insomnia’s back

Da Ugly Ducklin – The Transparent Me 8/23/15 (DAY 35)

Today is SUPPORT SOMEONE SUNDAY

Make a special trip to a hospital, hospice, mental institution, nursing home, jail or prison to sit with somebody today

Sit down, call up a long lost friend or estranged family member or love one… Inspire, compliment & encourage them

Lend a helping hand today. Allow God to surprise you through you (Buy someone’s groceries or pay a bill off for them)

Pray and ask God to lead you to that perfect someone who could use the support most that He wants you to give

Show God you trust Him by not fighting against the transitions He has you embarking upon… They’ll pan out beneficial

Do not allow the enemy leeway into your life, mind or heart, to have his way, and reap havoc… Resist & he’ll flee

My reasoning for me being so mushy when people show me love for the things I’m doing for God… “The Passion’s of Christ”

Looking for love in all the wrong places caused me to be promiscuous SMH… But, God shielded me from death & disease.

Da Ugly Ducklin – The Transparent Me 8/22/15 (DAY 34)

Today is SEEK HIS FACE SATURDAY

Spent quality time with God and I’m so ELATED

The messages from both Joel Osteen and Rick Warren Blessed  my Spirit immensely!!!

To think of how God can simply speak, and the world is formed, shows just how good He can do in our lives

Thank you all, there’s POWER in Prayer…And even more influence when we go to the Throne in numbers 🙂

I got the job, and even received Favor over some who had a higher seniority!!! Won’t God do it

Be careful what advice you take, even if it’s from a well trusted friend, they mean no harm, but satan does

I must apologize to God for appearing ungrateful, and running from person to person for advice… FEAR

When you ask God for a Blessing and get it, don’t let doubt creep in

God makes nooooooo mistakes, and only wants the BEST for us

Don’t do tricky things to get yourself out of a place God is transitioning you to; especially after you asked for it

God knows how to turn anything the enemy tries to use to harm you into a HUGE Blessing… Trust and Obey!!!

Even when your shift seems like you’re getting the short end of the stick, don’t worry… God Gotcha 🙂 🙂 🙂

Da Ugly Ducklin – The Transparent Me 8/21/15 (DAY 33)

Today is FREE YOUR MIND FRIDAY

When you feel as though you’re being PUNKED, instead see the situations as TESTS that you must pass

Don’t be so overbearing and mean towards others… Consider their feelings and needs FIRST

That brief pause was imperative… my trunk was open, and I seen an accident waiting to happen SMH

The enemy can’t send small irritants your way when you’re grounded & rooted in Christ… he really sticks it to you

Allow God to kill your flesh daily, so that you don’t haphazardly offend nobody… Rudeness is a No No!!!

Recognize your Spiritual tests and pass them…So, you’ll become a Victor in that area, and thus a better person as well

It’s very important to stay before the face of God, lest you give the enemy time to hop in and try you

Allow God to decrease you and have the Holy Spirit increase in you. So that you say and do only what’s Godly

It’s always a Blessing to wake up to no texts or missed calls from family… Reassurance that ALL is well 🙂

Be careful of the things you watch on TV, negative energy transfers, and the news can sometimes be bad for us too

Use your time wisely! Even after work and completing household chores… Still don’t make room for Godless chatter

Da Ugly Ducklin – The Transparent Me 8/20/15 (DAY 32)

 

Today is THANK HIM THURSDAY

Lol, I honestly thought I was being PUNKED I ended up babysitting ten children… unknowingly SMH

You talking about a headache from outer space, I had it like never before ggggeeeeeeeeeessssssssssssshhhhhhh

They had the back to school jitters or something… And taming them with candy was a HUGE mistake!!!

I almost spanked their rumpelstiltskins numerous times… But, some of my children are against it… Keep em home!!!

Even though I was frustrated to the nineteenth power, I was lenient, because the adults were handling business

Next time Imma get me a good old-fashioned switch off the nearest tree, “sting em britches” as Granny use to say

Nonetheless, there was a lesson in all of it… God wants me to help out in that arena

I’m good at any other task, Grandma wise. But, babysitting wasn’t my thing at all, and I’m a stickler to that fact

At least I was “a stickler”… God requires and demands more from and of me… We are to help when needed!!!

To add, I gotta stop making mountains out of mole hills, and figure tactful ways to keep them busy and in order

Granny successfully raised her 16, and umpteen of her grands… I’m just as able; with God on my side 🙂 🙂 🙂

Da Ugly Ducklin – The Transparent Me 8/19/15 (DAY 31)

 

Today is WE CAN DO IT WENESDAY

Happy and cheesing from ear-to-ear… Back to back days off!!! Ohhhhhhhhh yoppington 🙂 🙂 🙂

“We can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens us!”

God is AWESOME, and showed up and showed out in my life today… Sooooo overjoyed; Thank You Daddy!

Can you say CHANGING FOR THE BETTER x’s two (2)… Go God, Go Me, Go God, Go Me!!!

Washed clothes, three loads… All by lonesome… Good job girly

Cooked and laid out dinner for later

On my way household and necessities shopping… woooo hoooo 🙂

Spent quality, quality, quality time with my Heavenly Father… Filled up to the brim

EVERY adult is outta the house doing something productive… Won’t God do it!!!

Wait on God, don’t dare get suicidal… Believe against all odds that He’s for sure a keeper of those who love Him

Never give up HOPE… Keep the FAITH in the face of adversity

The tables turned… My husband try to reap havoc… But, God just simply ain’t having it, and I never fed in to it

Da Ugly Ducklin – The Transparent Me 8/18/15 (DAY 30) continued…

Today is TALK ABOUT IT TUESDAY continued…

Don’t beat yourself up & and question your Salvation, when you repetitively do wrong… Instead Pray harder for CHANGE

If you see the evidence of God in your life (Blessings, Grace & Mercy), worry NO MORE… You’re a part of the family

How do you TAME the tongue??? Tired of lashing out and hurting others… Being human, in my opinion, is NO excuse!!!

Reassured that God still loves me in spite of my loose lips… But, it ANGERS me afterwards, and rightfully so SMH 

“Loose lips sink ships!!!” be mindful of how you address others… They do have feelings you know; or do you???

Even if your mind convinces you otherwise about your mate… Hold your Peace, if you’ve wholeheartedly given it to God

Never avoid altercations to the point where it causes health issues (READ THIS CAREFULLY – TRICKY, BUT TRUE)

Make sure to ALWAYS say “If it’ll be the Lord’s Will I’ll do this, this or that” Our plans still need His APPROVAL

If you and your mate are displaced (Living with others), be good to each other THROUGH it… No misplaced anger

Working God’s adrenaline and strength… Totally sleep DEPRIVED… Sad, sad, sad gggeeeeeeeeeeessssssshhhhhhhhh!!!

What’s the real scoop on the Sandy Hook Elementary School shooting… Enquiring minds wants to know!!!

Just because you’re agitated, due to things you brought on yourself… That don’t mean take it out on your mate

Da Ugly Ducklin – The Transparent Me 8/18/15 (DAY 30)

Today is TALK ABOUT IT TUESDAY

Hubby came home… I Prayed and God answered. Now, I gotta step outta the way!!!

Very IMPORTANT… it’s in no way ok to discuss your relationship with your children… They haven’t a clue what you’re to do

By nature, your babies want to protect. But, they can give you wrong advice, as a safety mechanism; on your behalf

God’s JEALOUS, and He don’t like it when we Pray for His help, then snatch our situations back, to handle ourselves

Regardless of the predicament, your mate should be contacting you daily… Silence makes room for assumptions

Pray SPECIFIC… God knows all. But, wants to hear it from you. He’ll give us the desires of our hearts

Know that you know that you for sure know your Heavenly Father’s voice; as to not give the enemy a foothold in your life

You DON’T have to have an altered mind in order to interact with others (Drugs & Alcohol) only makes it worse

The Holy Spirit can’t and won’t dwell in an unclean Temple… Remain SOBER guys!!!

Allow yourself to decrease, and God rise up when you have to socialize or have important conversations

Once promiscuous, but DELIVERED… unscathed, no deadly diseases… Thank You Daddy 🙂 🙂 🙂

“Judge not lest ye be JUDGED!!!”

Da Ugly Ducklin – The Transparent Me 8/17/15 (DAY 29)

Today is MAKE EM SMILE MONDAY

Know that God is delighted to handle ALL our affairs if we would just TRUST in Him and ask for His help

Before you know it, things will begin to be Peaceful, clear and running smooth all around you… Give Him the Praise

Cast your cares! What? How do I do that? Simple, just raise your arms to God, and say Daddy I’m clueless and I need You

Crazy near death experience in the middle of the night SMH… What in the world was that all about???

My husband and I had a WEIRD interaction… Too sleepy to ponder though. Jesus grab the wheel 🙂 🙂 🙂

Feelings hurt in ER, because I must look like an OLD lady… Asked if I was my husband’s mom ggggggrrrrrrrrhhhhhhhhh

I see myself as Shallow Hal seen most of his potentials… Preserved, young and beautiful lol… funny right???

Wondering, in my lil inquisitive mind, if my husband is still dealing with an ex for financial gain

Finally destroyed the SCAM check… Had forgotten about it all this time. Thank God it was still there

Stop sabotaging your relationship by always thinking the worse about your mate… God makes NO mistakes

Nominated for an Award… Yayyyyyyy!!!

First let me give honor to our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ, then of course I would like to thank http://motherofnecessity.net/ for seeing me as a worthy candidate.

In turns, I nominate her and I wish I could do more, because plenty of you have been wonderful to me. But, we can only do 15, and here they are.

1. http://motherofnecessity.net/
2. http://thelivingmessage.com/
3. http://cuppajoeandthou.wordpress.com/
4. http://nutsrok.wordpress.com/
5. https://sarahsatticoftreasures.wordpress.com/
6. https://plainmommy.wordpress.com/
7. http://thepurplecouchblog.com/
8. http://deceptiveinfluences.com/
9. https://fromcrazywithlove.wordpress.com/
10. http://manuscriptwarfare.wordpress.com/
11. http://egyptenglish.com/
12. http://stayinginstep.com/
13. https://writetobreakthrough.wordpress.com/
14. https://hasmeetwrites.wordpress.com/
15. https://tboisuites.wordpress.com/

I reiterate, I wish there was no limit of the people you could add, because my list would go on forever, as I give recognition to the ones of you who’ve been so good to me through ALL my struggles, pain and suffering, in an acknowledgment of your true skills and writing capabilities. Thanx to everyone. Love you guys to pieces.

Da Ugly Ducklin – The Transparent Me 8/16/15 (DAY 28)

Today is SUPPORT SOMEONE SUNDAY

Practically NOOOOOOO sleep… Not at all the Will of God. Glad to be rid of my problem… Still Praying for him though

Proud of myself, hospital calls about my husband, and I Trust God and stay at work and finish my shift… GROWING

If your love one resists your help… Let go and let God. Continue to hold them up before God

Mad at myself for some of the harsh things I said to my husband… Anger is no excuse nor justification… MUST REPENT

Don’t get outta character because others are nonchalant and/or rude… Contact a supervisor instead

Even in knowing what harsh effect K2 is having on people, my husband insists on indulging… I’m DONE

If a person don’t take physician advice then surely your opinions won’t be warranted… Give it to God

K2 (Synthetic Drugs) is killing people guys… NEVER touch it, and encourage your love ones to do the same

When enough is enough… Fall back, especially when the person you’re trynna help won’t even help themselves

Instead of remaining sober my husband transitioned to something worse… Stand in Prayer with me please

Da Ugly Ducklin – The Transparent Me 8/15/15 (DAY 27)

Today is SEEK HIS FACE SATURDAY

After a breakup, Pray for Peaceful rest… I did, and I slept rather good ALONE

Seek God about ALL your situations (Financial, relational, emotional, situational, and definitely Spiritual)

God has plans and a specific purpose for each of us… Certainly seek His face for guidance and direction

Fam, don’t be too friendly with neighborhood individuals of the opposite sex, it only leads to unnecessary problems

It’s ALWAYS best to hear your mate out, opposed to running with the story you hear about them from another

Get to a MATURE place in God where you don’t overreact and lose your job behind relationship issues… TAKE TEN

Questioning another about whether they’re SECRETLY sleeping with your mate is pointless… They’ll never tell!!!

Pray immediately when something’s bothering you, don’t inadvertently suffer from medical issues due to unresolved issues

Meeting with children still not held SMH… Avoidance hhhhmmmmm???

Never stir up confusion with others in an attempt to get the heat off of you… Childish move on your part

Remember: God will make sure that those He don’t want in your life can’t stay, and those He does can’t leave

Da Ugly Ducklin – The Transparent Me 8/14/15 (DAY 26)

Today is FREE YOUR MIND FRIDAY

When you give yourself to Christ fully, He’ll show you things that’s occurring with your family that needs your attention

Can’t figure out for the life of me why my life is becoming a COMPLETE rollercoaster

The TRANSPARENT me is meant for my life to be shared, so that others can be helped through my experiences & problems

My baby daughter and my middle daughter are going through something that needs Mommy intervention

When your family is going through something, don’t kick them while they’re down. Instead, help out

Family makes stupid mistakes, but don’t overly punish them, when you have the capabilities to assist

Don’t allow your Union, who you pay weekly/biweekly to lie to you, and cause you to resign (You have rights)

NEVER send your family to a freekin shelter when you have adequate space available for them to live

Of course if your family is able to pay accept it. If not, definitely don’t turn your back on them… That’s not love!!!

Money is not more important than helping your love ones. God will Bless you accordingly

In need of Prayer for me and my family… Things are dwindling downward for each of us on a daily basis SMH

Da Ugly Ducklin – The Transparent Me 8/13/15 (DAY 25)

Today is THANK HIM THURSDAY

God is AWESOME… I’m in a GOOD mood

We all woke up, we have activity in our limbs, our five senses are operable, we’re healthy & whole [To name a few]

Y’all, I did it again SMH… Spontaneously left work gggrrrrrrrhhhhhhhhh!!!

Hubby’s home yyyyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyy 🙂 🙂 🙂

Family meeting scheduled… Jesus, take the wheel please

Forgive me guys… I acted a real donkey… Got a lot of maturing to do (SPIRITUALLY)

Cigarettes missing, nobody cares… Now I’m in a stupor and shut completely down

Don’t you dare waste away a whole day moping, murmuring and complaining… God ain’t bout dat life!!!

How you look being so in your feelings, to the point where you can’t be a grandmother? Grow up already!!!

Sad situation that further shows I need maturity… Not happy about my husband’s potential success, in fear of him leaving me

NEVER sabotage your mate’s things out of (FEAR – False Evidences Appearing Real)

Pray for my liwwle (in my granddaughter’s voice) grandbaby, her not feeling well; two trips to ER

Stop Praying for more when you know you haven’t been a good steward over the things you’ve been given

*** Juanita Bynum “No More Sheets” a must see

Sistahs… Remain the same chick he fell in love with (Hair done, nails did, outfits on #fleek, house clean, and feed him)

Ladies… Keep yourself up! Don’t just let your weight get outta control, even baby fat can come off… Do it!!!

God has BIG things in store for us… It’s NOT His desire that any of us live in lack (poverty, depression, misery, etc.)

Da Ugly Ducklin – The Transparent Me 8/12/15 (DAY 24)

Today is WE CAN DO IT WEDNESDAY

I’m now a firm believer that the things you do to your parents will eventually return to haunt you

Things were crazy all night and morning… But, still I TRUST God

Hard for a caring grandmother to turn a blind eye and deaf ear to things going wrong with the babies in her life

Started to place myself back in a homeless state due to frustration with my daughter… Thank God I didn’t overreact!!!

Single again because of the mess pertaining to my granddaughter

Just what do you do when your grown child won’t listen to you, but they’re making wrong decisions?

I have no clue as to why things went left between my husband and me. But, God have Your way!

Seeing one again, the things I did to my mother coming back around on me through my children

Children, regardless of age MUST know “Don’t do what I’m doing or have done”… Rather do what I say

Called a family meeting, and I desire for God to be in total control…. Just want them to know I’m only trynna help

Tragedies are increasing I DC… Prayers please

Hold your peace, and Pray first… Never jump the gun and create a huger problem for yourself or others

Whatever happened to “Mom knows BEST???”

C

Da Ugly Ducklin – The Transparent Me 8/11/15 (DAY 23)

Today is TALK ABOUT IT TUESDAY

Humbly realizing that it’s better to cook at home and stretch my meals, opposed to trynna keep up with the Joneses

Tragedy in the family… Cousin killed at Metro bus stop. Stabbed to death, on his way to visit with his children SMH

Is K2 causing these murders because people are haphazardly losing their minds?

Prayer needed for DC in whole… Car accidents are claiming our youth, coupled with shootings, stabbings and other violence

Pray for Sandra Bland’s family and also that JUSTICE will be served if she was outlandishly murdered

Still following the case where the police shot a young lady who was armed with a knife or multiple knives

God is definitely doing a thing with me, in changing my selfish & mean ways, and I’m openly allowing it ALL

We can’t get mad and decide to write people off because they want what you’ve owed them for months… DEAD WRONG

Mothers, we can’t arbitrarily cut all ties with our children because they anger us… God ain’t having it!!!

The apple don’t fall far from the tree, when you see the bad part of you in your child… Pray against generational curses

Open yourself up fully to God, and allow Him to have His way with you… CHANGE is imperative and beneficial

Da Ugly Ducklin – The Transparent Me 8/10/15 (DAY 22)

Today is MAKE EM SMILE MONDAY

Really good morning, got everything done, and still had time to spare… Ain’t God GOOD

Don’t let the enemy reap havoc between you and family… God don’t Bless mess!!!

See the devil for who he is amidst altercations… “We wrestle not with flesh and blood…”

Wondering if it’s validity in the Prophet’s claim that witchcraft is either being practiced in the home I’m in or has it been cast over it?

My smiles are due to my hubby taking the initiative to start writing his books again… Hallelujah!!!

When you get angry, please don’t overreact and destroy things that are dear and important to your mate

God is AWESOME, He helped me figure out how to fix a big project for my husband… made us both so happy

Let go of previous hurts, so that fear don’t cause sabotage

See the morals and potentials in your mate, and stick by them… it’ll pan out rewarding before long

Book writing program (Writenow 4)

Did K2 cause a lady to be shot by police in Washington, DC? This horrible drug has to cease and disappear!!!

We are to love in spite of the wrongs people do to us

Allow God to totally wash you clean of any wicked ways He finds in you

Got a Federal Government bid in for two WONDERFUL days off… Pray with me that I get it

Da Ugly Ducklin – The Transparent Me 8/9/15 (DAY 21)

Today is SUPPORT SOMEONE SUNDAY

Hubby been lovey dovey lately… That’s all well and fine, except for the fact that it cut into my planned study time SMH

Cured my seafood cravings… Huge payout though! Next time I’ll be cookin at home for sure.

Continue to Pray, even if God seems to be far away or simply not hearing you

“Seek and you shall find, Knock and the door shall be open unto you, and Ask and you shall receive”

I thank each of you for the wonderful comments, compliments, Prayers and marvelous words of encouragement

Remember: If you’re going through anything, find someone who’s experiencing your same pain, and Pray them through

God is wonderful… He delivered my husband totally from K2, and many others as well… Hallelujah!!!

Wait on God… Don’t rush Him. He knows what’s best for us, and will com through in His time

Don’t be mean and vindictive towards anyone, make less family who’s helping you… God don’t like ugly

Let God make amends between you and the very person who hurt you the worst

Da Ugly Ducklin came to be because of my dysfunctional family, and the lack of communication between us

Da Ugly Ducklin – The Transparent Me 8/8/15 (DAY 20)

 

Today is SEEK HIS FACE SATURDAY

Don’t beat yourself up when you feel like you’ve falling away from God, you’re actually still as close as before; if not closer

Love God with EVERYTHING in you, it’s sooooooooo rewarding

The Passion’s of Christ (Mel Gibson) wonderful movie… A must see

How God always brings us out, even from the things we bring on ourselves

TMOB (The Mouth of Babes) a Ministry I want to implement, to bring my grand babies closer to God

No matter your circumstances, you’re still expected to seek God regularly

Know that God still loves you even when you feel that you’re falling by the wayside

Get out the way, and allow God to change your wayward family member or love one

You don’t like traffic… leave early!!!

Da Ugly Ducklin – The Transparent Me 8/7/15 (DAY 19)

Today is FREE YOUR MIND FRIDAY

Woke up to car GONE… You talkin bout FURIOUS!!!

I lost the car“… Are you serious???

How your mates choice to indulge in illicit drugs creates unnecessary problems for the both of you.

Telling your grown children to live one way, but you settle for the things you’re trynna save them from… DOUBLE STANDARD

If you choose to put up with your mate… Don’t bagger them thereafter

Living with others is hard… Food issues arise, and everyone not buying household supplies… NOT FAIR

How my family is all of a sudden going through simultaneously SMH

My son’s up and coming rap career… My feelings about the uneasy content

How I want my children to get and keep my grandbabies before the face of God

How bad I want God to fall upon me on a daily basis… to help me serve Him correctly

We’re living in our last days… The signs are here… Get and/or keep yourself right in the eyes of God

My desires to be in full-time Ministry for the sake of my entire clan

Give God back His Word, He’s good to act on it, because He cannot and will not lie

Live a life of example in front of the youth around you, so that they’ll grow up successful

My husband trynna compare his wrongdoings with K2 to my old alcohol issues… Not the same!!!

Da Ugly Ducklin – The Transparent Me 8/6/15 (DAY 18)

WE CAN DO IT WEDNESDAY continued…

Worked ONLY 2 1/2 – 3 hours SMH

Don’t EEEEVVVEEEERRRR fake sick… It’ll definitely come back to bite ya in the rumpelstiltskin

Enraged at how my (thought to be) good deed was so insignificant… gggggggggrrrrrrrrrrrrrrhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!

Be careful dealing with banks, colleges, and I’ll go as far as to say that FAFSA is suspect.

Why am I still holding a FRAUDULENT check, nobody thought it to be serious enough to send anyone out… just horrible.

Day went left real quick… My manager went from 0 to 100 lol!!!

Get covered by the Union guys… They’re your safety net

Learn the rules about your rights to take off and leave work early multiple times in a specific time frame.

Da Ugly Ducklin – The Transparent Me 8/4/15 (DAY 16)

Today is TALK ABOUT IT TUESDAY

Master RESET again??? What the heck is going on with my phone… Hackers or nah?

Hair FINALLY on #fleek

Hubby back home SMH… I never got a chance to put him out and thank God I didn’t, because he’s WORKING yyyyyyyyyyyyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!

  • More money
  • Move quicker
  • No K2 smoked… Thank You Daddy.

Feeling awfully strange in my spirit… Sum just ain’t right. Can’t pinpoint it yet, but I’m feeling sum type of way 😦 😦 😦

Trust God to run your marriage… Breadwinners are NOT in control.

Prayers pay off, again I reiterate that!

Never fight against mandatory change

Do what God says no matter the cost

Personal ad (Possible Disaster)

Testimony may lead to Tricky Tracking #

Da Ugly Ducklin – The Transparent Me 8/3/15 (DAY 15)

Today is MAKE EM SMILE MONDAY

Contradictory Vlog: Yesterday I stated we must love in spite of. Then, I turn right around and ditch my husband to sleep on the streets.

Ironically, I have every reason not to smile.

My daughter nearly died behind illicit drugs.

Misplaced anger towards my mother-in-law SMH.

The BREADWINNER can’t even get a decent meal???!!!

The effects of K2 on your marriage, family and life.

Get rid of your flesh, it destroys you and others you interact with.

Should you leave your spouse for indulging in drugs, simply because they’re irresponsibly still doing it, even after something bad has happened.

Da Ugly Ducklin – The Transparent Me 8/2/15 (DAY 14)

Today is SUPPORT SOMEONE SUNDAY

Important for older children, who indulge in bad things, to have a cell phone for emergencies.

We must allow God to transform us to where we’re loving supernaturally… Not in the natural (HUMAN)

Generational curses MUST be broke

How God gave me favor while receiving beautification services

Take care of skin, feet and hair… Imperative for self-preservation

Don’t let the devil reap havoc in your relationship!!! Let God show you what’s really going on

Don’t plan how to be nice, that’s fake… Instead, allow the Holy Spirit to move through you

We are not to only love those who we’re comfortable with, but we gotta Pray about loving EVERYONE in spite of

Da Ugly Ducklin – The Transparent Me 8/1/15 (DAY 13)

Today is SEEK HIS FACE SATURDAY

  • Let God control who you date, your marriage or already established relationship (NO FORNICATING)
  • Trust God to lead you down the right path as you plan and confirm your annual vacation.
    • You’re destined to get the BEST deals
    • Reassurance that any problems, should there be ANY will be minimal to NONE.
    • You’ll find new things to do to have fun, ATTRACTIONS and ACTIVITIES will come to you like never before
  • Career choices and continuum of education… He definitely knows, and I’ll guarantee you that your new sought out and obtained profession will be one that you’ll look forward to every day.Unlike many of us, who merely go for a paycheck. Your God geared job will be one sufficient enough to retire from and you won’t have to double up (Work 2 or more jobs simultaneously)  either, because the one income will be Heaven sent more than enough… You’ll be the lender and NEVER a borrower.

Got my eyes, feet and nails done up yaaaaaaaayyyyyyy, just waiting for my stylist to grocery shop, and my hair gon be on #fleek too!!! She always flicks her wrist 🙂 🙂 🙂

PLEASE subscribe to my YouTube channel and follow me on EVERY social network that we connect in… Thanking you in advance!!!

Da Ugly Ducklin – The Transparent Me 7/31/15 (DAY 12)

Today is FREE YOUR MIND FRIDAY

Did not get my hair done 😦 😦 😦 Whole day went left!!!

No nail salon visit ggggggrrrrrrrrrrrrrhhhhhhhhhhhhh… that’s ok, because I should be off tomorrow (fingers crossed)

Baby girl doin it up in the Dominican Republic… Finally enjoying her vacation away, after a few rough patches that God helped her through.

Still Noooooooooo sleep SMH, tonight gotta be the night no doubt!

Husband finally back after another brief break-up (Talkin to me rude and harsh) That’s a no no, and automatic deal breaker – ZERO tolerance for utter disrespect.

Da Ugly Ducklin – The Transparent Me 7/30/15 (DAY 11)

Today is THANK HIM THURSDAY

Shooting in my daughter’s house (Close call SMH)

Her trip to the Dominican Republic

The 8 hours beautification process (Oh how HAPPY I’ll be afterwards)

HCYMABH… Back up and active.

Alone No More… Lying dormant, which is a GOOD thing, because nobody’s suicidal.

H.U.T. My desires for an immediate family (Annual Reunion) on a Yacht, even though I’m terribly scared of water.

TMOB – The Mouth Of Babez (New Ministry) For youth 21 and under, to learn the importance of having a relationship with God and the POWER in Prayer. Taking our children to church ain’t at all the gist of it. They MUST know what’s expected of them and all the BENEFITS within. More important, we don’t want them embarrassed or fearful to Pray to or interact with God.

Da Ugly Ducklin – The Transparent Me 7/29/15 (DAY 10)

Today is WE CAN DO IT WEDNESDAY

A day where we hold to the fact that we can do all things through Christ Who strengthens us.

My 13 yrs. old grandson arrested for a gun in his book bag. Could have caused the officers to shoot him unnecessarily.

Me experiencing Insomnia due to my being manic… Driving to work with eyes barely open SMH.

“Many are called, but few are CHOSEN”!!! Me disrespecting a coworker, then feeling awful afterwards… Open repent.

We MUST change in order to please God.

The thorn in my flesh is there for a worthy purpose.

Da Ugly Ducklin – The Transparent Me 7/28/15 (DAY 9)

 

Today is TALK ABOUT IT TUESDAY initially intended for friends and family to discuss different sermons, scriptures or Godly topics that each came across on previous days, for the purposes of readying yourselves for Wednesday Bible Study, where you’ll Prayerfully be armed with plenty of questions.

However my day didn’t begin good, and I had to vent after a crying moment, because I was so upset with my children.

Please give your opinion about the situations I discussed.

Thank God I feel 100 % better now… God Bless each of you, and may Heaven continue to smile upon you and yours

Please subscribe to my YouTube channel, and follow me on every social network where we meet up, and I’ll surely do the same for you.

Da Ugly Ducklin – The Transparent Me 7/27/15 (DAY 8)

Unbelievable!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This video is all messed up, but I uploaded it anyway, just to show how things can happen SMH. It was two parts. But, instantly one whole part… The beginning just got lost somewhere in cyber space lol. Nevertheless, the ending tells what my theory is on the shenanigans. BTW… Today is MAKE EM SMILE MONDAY!!! With all the craziness going on with me lately, I can’t do nothing else but smile!!! Enjoy guys, in spite of the beginning being M.I.A.

Whaddayaknow, here’s the lost video… I knew it’d surface SMH

Da Ugly Ducklin – The Transparent Me 7/24/15 (DAY 5)

Today is FREE YOUR MIND FRIDAY no matter what the enemy tries to throw your way DODGE it, and keep it movin. Show him he has NOOOOOOOOOOOO power or control,and will not keep you bogged down!

Chris Brown with the suicide rumors going around. I searched through several sites, only to find out the world is getting all worked up about what they’re considering to be a cryptic message on his instagram… and more can be read here http://sandrarose.com/2015/05/is-chris-brown-suicidal/ & http://sandrarose.com/2015/06/chris-brown-wont-be-around-next-year/

I Pray she’s wrong. But, I’m not too happy about the writings she wrote, and many others stated their feelings on her site.

My apologies for getting upset, after talking about the beating I received from my last husband, and not really doing well in the Vlog.

Family should always stick together and help one another out, especially during homelessness.

Parents Pray for your grown child or children who’s not doing right in the eyes of God.

Sometimes our wayward children are complete replicas of us… Hmmmmmmm!!! “Train up a child in the way they should go and when they’re old they won’t depart from it”

The affects illicit drugs had on me, and my transition into alcoholism, and subsequent deliverance from it all.

How to be the bigger person and apologize for your wrong actions when you’ve hurt someone.

How the good in your mate can help you. (My husband making me share and diminish my stingy ways).

The shooting in my daughter’s home that caused our homelessness.

Da Ugly Ducklin – The Transparent Me 7/25/15 (DAY 6)

Today is SEEK HIS FACE SATURDAY and make sure you read a scripture, Pray, Praise or Worship Him today.

Christian wife/ Muslim husband (How you interact) (Praying, Praising & Worshipping together impossible)

Me seeing the aftermath of my two sisters after getting brutally beating (Reason for my hostility toward men)

Women should stay in their place (We cannot beat NO man)

A mother’s job is NEVER done (Talk to your grown child) (Help them identify and then succeed at their goals)

Feeling ostracized after alcohol cease (How to enjoy life when everyone else still indulges)

Family should never see each other homeless (Well to do family won’t help SMH)

Never seclude your mate because you have no friends or family to chill with.

Da Ugly Ducklin – The Transparent Me 7/26/15 (DAY 7)

Today is SUPPORT SOMEONE SUNDAY and I ask that you support anyone in any capacity… Heaven smiles upon us for doing so.

This was a short video, that I’m not pleased with at all. Just had an altercation with my husband, and wasn’t feeling myself… My apologies.

Either the enemy is causing bad things to occur, because I’m following the plan of God for my life or God sees that my husband means me no well, and chose to remove him from my life.

FEEDBACK WELCOMED!!!

Da Ugly Ducklin – The Transparent Me 7/23/15 (DAY 4)

 

Not too pleased with today’s Vlog, because I got to talking about the beating at the hands of my last husband, and lost my whole train of thought… gggggggrrrrrrrrrrrrrhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Nonetheless, I went on with it, and talked about how God has kept me, and is still keeping me through all the craziness that I’ve endured and still experiencing.

Today is “Thank Him Thursday” be sure to THANK God for everything He’s done and still is doing in your life. He inhabits the Praises of His people.

*** Please comment on how you feel about poverty, generational curses, and utilizing government assistance.

Once again I ask y’all to forgive the video pauses, before you know it I’ll be making top-notch Vlogs.

As promised, I’m going to do my research on the Chris Brown incident, as it relates to what he’s experiencing with suicidal thoughts. I don’t EVER wanna mislead anyone, by giving inaccurate or totally bogus information.

Please follow me, subscribe to my channel on YouTube, and likewise I’ll return the favor.

Da Ugly Ducklin – The Transparent Me 7/22/15 (DAY 3)

Please forgive me for the dumb videos that end abruptly, without a proper outro message. But, time will definitely fix that, as I get more better at recording. Eventually, I’ll have a better device, with a huger storage. However, until then I ask you to bear with me.

I was cut off while explaining what happened with my last husband, and why we separated. As I was telling you, I made the horrible mistake of marrying way too quick from start. But, I was terribly lonely. Remember, I have ALL grown children, and they were moving on with their lives and happy for the most part… going out to eat, coupled up. Beach trips, constantly at the casino or club. Even though some of the places they frequented, I’m no longer interested in, I still wanted a mate, and I jumped at the very first chance that came my way and the latter months was beyond overkill. Not to mention the fact that I wasn’t really over my previous husband, who I’m BACK with SMH, and that’ll be elaborated on as time progresses. Moreover, I carried hurt and all types of other damaging baggage over into my marriage, thus reaping unnecessary havoc for myself.

I was constantly bickering, complaining, nitpicking and physically abusing this man, and he held it all in until it came out in the worst way on that gruesome night, turned morning, beat down that I received, where God once again spared my life. now, this time, I wasn’t able to drive myself to the hospital like before and not because of any physical impairments. But, primarily because my husband didn’t want to leave me alone with in the ER, in fear of me contacting the police.

Enough of that already though, before too much explaining rolls into flashbacks, and emotions causes diverse reactions. I can’t say when I’ll discuss it. But, I wanna give my testimony about my reunification with my third husband, and how we’re doing now.

Da Ugly Ducklin – The Transparent Me 6/28/15 (Trial run – My first video trying out Vlogging)

This is my first attempt at Vlogging, and it was in June… I never could get the videos uploaded, so I completely gave up. But, I started back a month and a half later, and those are the videos on the site that are still not as good as I would like for them to be. But, I feel confident that I’m finally doing what’s pleasing to God. Even though they’re choppy and some are too long, in my opinion. Nevertheless, it satisfies my charge from above.

To recap: I discussed my reasons for getting away from the whole psychological team of nitwits, and it’s simply because thy weren’t doing me any good whatsoever!!! In fact, I spoke out about two drugs specifically that I’m not to fond of at all, and that’s Trazodone, because it causes shortness of breath and makes me feels anxious, and as if I’m hyperventilating. And lithium simply because I’m worried about any medication that gives cause for my blood to be continually monitored SMH… Nope, I’m GUCCI!!!

To add, I don’t know how to put the fact that I see NO need for repetitive trips to see therapist and psychiatrist no clearer than I have, with so much seriousness to back… I mean it’s absolutely ridiculous to make all these appointments, in an effort to find the “NORM” as most people call it, to no avail. I’m through being toyed with!!! Together with God and the testimonies of overcomers I’m gonna master my care without fake anecdotes and meaningless couch conversations.

I mentioned the stabbing that gave rise to my arrest, that aided in my eventual psychological assessment and corrupt diagnosis. My daughter, her husband and I were on our way home from picking him (her husband) up from his granny’s house when I rode up on the worse scene I’d ever encountered. My husband, openly walking with a female, who I later found to be his mistress for several months prior… I literally lost my mind. How dare you!!! Right in the neighborhood we met and married in. That’s making a total mockery of me, seeing as how EVERYONE knows we’re married, and have been together for three years before this craziness, and you even have the audacity to flaunt her around, while still bringing me around your friends and family members, who obviously knew about your secret rendezvous. But, continued to smile in my face as if everything’s all well and fine… Some nerve SMH. Nevertheless, the whole ordeal plays out with me going with the police, him with the paramedics, and the floozy running away, at record speed, with my Tasmanian devil daughter in HIGH pursuit lol. That was a day I never wanna see again, and Prayerfully no one else has to ever experience.

Da Ugly Ducklin – The Transparent Me 7/21/15 (DAY 2)

I’m sooooooooo happy… God tells us to take the first step, out on Faith, towards any endeavor, and He’ll provide the INCREASE. I did just that, in spite of all my insecurities and uncertainties, and each video is getting better as I go.

To elaborate, the messages above refer to some hard times I experienced years ago while I was still a babe in Christ, and not at all able to properly rationalize, and almost lost my life because of it on several occasions.

Also, spoke about Miracle Man, a vessel for God who also ran from his calling, and underwent a detrimental mishap before totally surrendering, and is now disfigured for life.

I can’t believe I took this long to heed to His (God’s) beckoning, for me to open up in this way. I actually like it, and Prayerfully it’ll help as many people as possible, to heal, and also the feedback that I receive will enhance my healing process as well.

I love being able to expound on the GOODNESS of God, as in He as been ever so present and helpful in my life from day one. And even though I’m going through a trying time right now, I know undoubtedly that none of it is in vain, and I’ll reap the benefits soon enough if I faint NOT!!!

The Transparent Me (Day 1)

This is the start of a new way I’m going to interact. I’ve been blogging for years, to no avail, and I earnestly believe that it’s meant for me to visually convey my messages. To be honest, it took me this long because I’m not happy with the way I look on camera. But, If God has a purpose for you, you’ll get it done, according to His Will eventually… No matter how long you run.

I don’t doubt that the reason I’ve been going through soooooo much is due to my procrastination and fear. “NO MORE”!!! I’m BAAAAAACCCCCKKKK, and I know I’ve said that many many times before, then I’ll fall away again… My apologies, trust me I’m full to the brim, and it’s about to spill over… Don’t believe me JUST WATCH 🙂 🙂 🙂

Haaaappppyyyy Father’s Day… And this is NOT gender specific!!!

Quite naturally fathers are referring to men, males & daddys. But, I most certainly have to acknowledge all my ladies WHO have and still are playing both roles… Myself included.

We’re upstanding individuals too… I feel that I did and is still doing a magnificent job at raising all four of my babies by myself, in the earthly realm. Of course my Daddy has ALWAYS and forever will have my back… Showing me the proper way to act and react towards and in front of them.

Teaching me how to cook healthy meals, encourage and help them education wise, and to show love and compassion during their hard times.

Not to mention all the times my Father has miraculously made ways for us when we seen Nooooooo waaaaaayyyyyyy. Short on food, here comes a lady at my door that I didn’t ask to help us out, and brought several bags of groceries. Broke down on steep mountains… Here comes my nephew, who should have been going in the other direction, to give us emergency gas… Again someone I didn’t call SMH.

He’s wonderful, and us parents in whole are toooooooo… Therefore, everyone enjoy your day… Tell your babies you love them 🙂

BnfEnT (CEO Son Son – DMV)

Spoiled rotten… From sourpuss to smilitis!!!

I just love my Daddy sooooooo much… I haven’t stopped smiling since this morning, and the Blessings aren’t ceasing either.

This bday girl is getting jazzed up already… I feel and look so gorgeous, and to think, just a couple of days ago my life was in shambles SMH.

My Father is so wonderful to me that I feel like an ONLY child. I’m walking into my victories slowly but surely, and I’m loving every second of it. I’m so glad I didn’t get all bent out of shape when I was going through, and denounce my Faith… Look at what was waiting for me at the end of the tunnel.

Father God in Heaven, I love You and thank You for all You’re doing now, have done in the past and mostly for all the things lying in wait in my future… Have Your waaaaaayyyyyyy in my life and keep total control. Lead, guide and direct me every step of the way. I entrust my entire being to You, because You’re better to me than I’ve ever been to myself.

These mere words could never express my gratitude for all You have done and are still doing for me and mine!!!

BnfEnT (CEO Son Son – DMV)

Reach Out Before You Act. You Matter.

She was sooooooo beautiful, and also the encouraging words you spoke to anyone who may be suffering from any form of shame, bullying, heartbreak, disrespect, hurt or the likes. She was young and it’s hard to believe she was fearful that something she mistakenly shared online would haunt her later in life… Perhaps she shared a pic revealing too much, even if somebody was being mean and circulated it. It would’ve died down in weeks, at most two months… But, so much other stuff is going on these days on social media that her little mishap would fall to the back burner rather quickly.

You want to control your teen as far as social media is concerned and rightfully so… I mean most of the craziness that teens find themselves in the mix of generates first through one of the social media sites. Nonetheless, girls in whole love their hair… Me and my daughter’s are always saying, when we don’t have new clothes for an outing or special occasion that long as our hair is nicely done we’ll look and feel fine. But, this baby had to stand and look at her pride and joy on the floor SMH… This is still no reason to criminally charge the father though… Even though I’m angered by his outlandish choice of punishment.

To add, long beautiful hair in fact means a lot to girls/women, but I’m sensing it was a multitude of things that drove this Lil sweetheart to do what she did… I’d love to see her last eight letters, just to get a better idea of EXACTLY what the final straw was that broke the camel’s back, and figure out in advance ways that Alone No More will help anyone with her same issues.

My deepest condolences to the family.

https://funds.gofundme.com/mobile/dashboard?url=h2r43w

Midwestern Mom's Musings

Like many of you, I heard the story about the school girl who jumped off a bridge and killed herself. Initial stories said she was upset about a shaming punishment her dad gave her. Other stories piled on reasons for her actions: she had been bullied in school, she hadn’t been allowed to run for student council.

This report clarifies that all these reasons were wrong. According to authorities, she left several notes explaining why she was going to kill herself. It seems she was ashamed of things she had done and said on social media; she thought one thing in particular was going to follow her for the rest of her life.

http://fox2now.com/2015/06/10/police-reveal-reason-girl-jumped-from-bridge-no-charges-expected/

My heart goes out to anyone who has lost a loved one to suicide. There is no one to blame or shame. This is just an opportunity to share.

When you look at the big picture…

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Crisis Text Line helps teens across nation

Like Alone No More, this national program has analyzed technology and realized that the mediums that are widely used these days are face-to-face interactions (face time, ovoo, and Skype) to name a few. Text messaging, which they’ve intelligently integrated and is seeing that it’s working well, kudos to you guys. And also, apps on mobile devices (kindles, iPads, tablets and cellular phones) are also easily accessed and widespread… That’s why Alone No More will couple the app and face-to-face interactions together. Allowing the hurting person to instantly tap into a live supporter, who will talk to them, Pray for them and guide them to resources necessary to bring them back to a place of stabilization.

As this program admits at the end of their posts, that the people who are assisting the people who’s benefiting from their services are NOT therapists. But, rather they’re helping in the same manner we intend to, just by different, yet similar methods.

Regardless of the tactic, this is further evidence that hurting people need and want help, and prefer not to actually go in to a hospital or even a private office with doctors and other forms of trained professionals. They’d like it better if they can text or link through an app. Therefore, please donate and share this link… Help us come together to help others.

https://funds.gofundme.com/mobile/dashboard?url=h2r43w

Ashes/Demons

This was four days ago, and I’m upset that I didn’t see it earlier. Nonetheless, I’m believing with all my heart of hearts that you’re just fine. Especially since you stated at the end of your post that you REALLY don’t want to die, that you’re just tired. But, more importantly, you have people you must live and be strong for. I’m happy to hear that they’re still meaningful enough in your life, that you’ll do away with those irrational thoughts immediately and NOT act upon them.

Sadly, in February 2014 even with 11 precious grand children, 4 wonderful children and a promising career in the Federal Government I still resulted to taking my life because I was tired. During that time, I had no desire to seek God for myself and rejected any other’s who wanted to intercede for me… I had enough, and couldn’t see anything positive ever becoming of my life at all.

I was living in Maryland at the time, and that was my first time ever going through this there and I learned rather quickly that I’d made the BIGGEST mistake ever… The law there is confinement, with no chance of leaving for a minimum of three days… Ooooooooohhh Nooooooo, I’ve got to go to work, they thought that was hilarious. To them, I was crazy and needed to be there… But, after a couple of hours of seeing that my friends and family did love and care about me was suffice for me… That was all I was initially longing for, and my Facebook message box, cell phone voicemail was packed instantly… But, I was locked away involuntarily… Thank God for one lady who realised that my not reporting to work would cause me to lose it and further intensify my my thoughts fit not wanting to live, and she talked the resident physician into taking a chance with me, and I haven’t looked back since. In turns, I started this blog and begin channeling all my spare time into helping my sisters and brothers all across the Nation diminish those ugly thoughts altogether… We merely need to grasp what it is we’re really in need of and pursue it, if possible, and if for whatever reason that’s not an option, then other alternatives are a must. But, suicide absolutely will NOT be the ultimate outlet under Nooooooo circumstances.

For you, I reiterate how I’m overjoyed at the fact that you have those SPECIAL people who are dear to you keeping your mind at bay. If you like, we can talk anytime… I’m here for you my luv.

https://funds.gofundme.com/mobile/dashboard?url=h2r43w

My darkest hours.

My heart doesn’t feel heavy. It doesn’t feel anything as there is just emptiness as that is all the I am now. I am just an empty shell of the person I used to be. I don’t even remember who that person is anymore. I can’t remember what it feels like to feel something positive for more than twenty minutes. I just know the bad feelings, the emptiness and the darkness that is constantly surrounding me. Today I reached my lowest, today for the first time I started having thoughts about hurting myself. I thought about getting a handful of antidepressants, sleeping pills and painkillers and just swallowing them. Hoping that it would stop the pain.

Having thoughts like that… Thinking of harming myself and has never really been part of my illness. I’ve been and I am severely depressed but I have never thought about harming myself as I…

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Homeless man thanks state trooper who talked him out of taking his own life

So glad to have been led to this, obviously by the Holy Spirit, who is helping me regain my courage to move forward with Alone No More.

Yes, this officer was trained “deescalation skills” but in no way does it mention he possesses a degree, license or certificate of any kind… Merely, his EXPERIENCES of working on the force, and witnessing such situations as like that or worse helped him be able to talk the man away from his previous decision to jump from the bridge.

All you gotta have is a pure heart of love and a connection with God in order to successfully do exactly what this officer did.

Alone No More will certainly have to make it known upfront and or beforehand that SOME individuals that may assist have no credentials whatsoever and are simply caring servants of God who’d like to Pray for you and talk to you about the help they received spiritually and resourcefully… Because we will also have a list of local agencies per city/state who offer necessitated services.

I’m doing it guys… I’ve come too far with this in my heart, and I’m confident that God is well pleased with me adhering to His call, and He’s gonna Bless this ministry like never before.

Please share this link and donate at least $1, to help with this well needed ministry coming together… Thanx in advance!!!

https://funds.gofundme.com/mobile/dashboard?url=h2r43w

BringMeTheNews.com

Here’s a story to warm your heart from the Minnesota State Patrol.

You might associate the State Patrol with responding to crash scenes, stopping drunken drivers, and pulling over speeders, but the job also requires troopers to show compassion to those in distress.

Trooper Shaun Leschovsky was on routine patrol in Minneapolis on Feb. 20 when he was called to reports of a suicidal homeless man at Washington Avenue by the Interstate 35W intersection.

He spoke with the man, providing whatever reassurance he would and promising him that he would get him some help. Help then arrived in the form of an ambulance to take the man to Region’s Hospital.

He continued on with his shift, according to the State Patrol’s Facebook page, and might have thought that was the end of it, but a few weeks later he bumped into the same man while at Bobby & Steve’s Auto World and…

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Backlash… Shaking in my boots… Now what???????

Last night was a hot mess, and I’m angered that I allowed myself to be bullied like I did SMH!!!

But, I was driving, it was hard and illegal to text the reply, and I promised myself andwith that I’d be quick to listen, slow to speak and surely slow to anger, if ever. Then I remembered I can be angry… So long as I sin NOT. Which means I have to confront this wisely, not apologetic for the things I’m boutta go in about; I just gotta be respectful… Now, here goes nuttin!!!

Alone No More is a ministry that God inspired me to form, due to the struggles I endured and eventually overcame, with His love, support and HHHEEEELLLLPPPP. The ministry will offer assistance to those contemplating suicide, but at Nooooooo time will any who’s not qualified with state provided licenses or other credentials ever claim to be a professional in that realm… But, I gotta say that one don’t always have to have a degree to counsel another, because several people in my Church that counsels regularly has Neeeeeevvvveeerr walked through the doors of a university, that’s why I emphasized “in that realm” to magnify the fact that my experiencing their trauma firsthand and being delivered from it umpteen times, surely I gathered lessons and walked away each time more wiser than when it began beginning some 13 years ago.

Of course, to keep in line with state requirements, guidelines, rules and regulations, I’m sure I’ll have to display, and if verbal audible disclose that everyone the interested parties work with aren’t tainted professionals, but it’s THEIR choice to accept Prayer from a person who doesn’t have a degree… It just sounds so ridiculous if we have to do that, and I’m not even sure if I’ll have to. But, her comment last night just has me thinking of all the things we may encounter, and it’s better to have it occur now, before we’re fully online and working incorrectly with God’s people.

I can clearly understand the part about letting everyone know we’re not doctors or trained therapists… Gotcha!!! But, since when is wrong to Pray with receptive adults… Now, on my page it does state that God will use me to help people, and before getting this message last night I’d hoped He would… I just think my experiences and Godly knowledge should be sufficient… But, I don’t wanna mislead anyone or risk criminal or civil litigation.

I sure hope some who either have this same type of ministry would reply and let me know my constraints and limitations if any… Just so I’ll feel better. No doubt, even if I can’t interact with the hurting directly, that won’t stop the implementation of the Ministry… Nooooooo indeed!!! It ain’t about me, it’s about hurting people getting the love, care, concern and compassion they so need and desire!!!

I can’t believe I punked out last night though… Nah, I’m kidding I know I handled it well, and I’m fully prepared for more opposing people who will criticize my Vision and even express, yes it’s for a worthy cause, but never attempt to do something different their way, however, it don’t matter, just so help is provided.

Can’t wait to publish this… I’m anxious to know just how valid last night’s comment really was SMH… Thanx bunches guys.

BnfEnT (CEO Son Son – DMV)

Reaching, surpassing one’s limitations.

I hurt that you’re hurting and I empathize with everything you’re experiencing and wish I were close enough to you to just grab you and hug you for hours, then sit with you all day, and just talk things through, until you feel better. I’ve been where you are and I can attest to the fact that Prayer definitely changes things, it did for me. It didn’t happen overnight, in fact I suffered intermittently for fourteen long Yyyyyyeeeeeaaaaaarrrrrrrssssss, but that was all my fault. I surely could’ve been done with the craziness I went through faster, had I remained steadfast and avoided my triggers, but Nooooooo, I actually pursued the conduits even the more SMH, and by doing so I prolonged my own demise.

Even though I don’t know you personally, please accept me saying that I do love you like family, and want only what’s best for you moving forward. Without knowing the full magnitude of all that’s bothering you, it’s hard to try and assist. I don’t claim one bit to be a know it all or a professional with a focal point of stress or depression, but rather I’m coming from a place of experience, which has been considered to be our BEST teacher.

The best I can do, with miles in between us, being our hugest barrier is to offer up Prayer for you, if you like. I won’t assume that you’ll be receptive. Therefore, I’ll wait for your reply, I’m even willing to give you my number, in case you just wanna talk or you’d prefer Prayer via landline. Of course, I’m interceding for you as I type. But, I’d like to be more interpersonal and actually touch and agree with you… Plllleeeeeaaaaassssseeee respond, and Prayerfully I’m not out of line in my approach, your story just captivated me is all… Waiting patiently!!!

Alone No More is here for you; Heavenly sent… Be Blessed my friend

https://funds.gofundme.com/mobile/dashboard?url=h2r43w

Formulation of Alone No More (small group)

There are MANY of you who’ve offered to help with the planning and building phase of Alone No More, and I plan to start holding online meetings for us to come together all in one place, so that we can finally get this much needed Ministry moving in the correct direction. Instead of me checking each comment and inviting you to the meeting, please reply with your email address or mobile number, depending on the device you intend to use for the meeting(s). I’ll be using Anymeeting, beforehand you can check it out, and see which method you feel you’d be comfortable using and leave the corresponding information accordingly. Until I actually get the hosting site up and going, I don’t even want to throw out tentative dates and times, I’d rather post it once I know that I know for sure that it’s a go!!! Pray with me everyone that this finally works and God will increase during these meetings, and I’ll decrease, allowing Him to overtake my mind and speak through me according to how He desires for us to proceed from here. (sigh)… finally smiling, believing deep in my heart that it’s all uphill from here… We just gotta learn to be still, and watch Him work when we’re clueless about what in the world we’re suppose to be doing SMH. Well, time to knock down these hours… At least I’m going in here today feeling like a heavy weight has been lifted up off my shoulders… Thank You Daddy, and a multitude of Blessings sent in every direction for you guys as well 🙂 🙂 🙂 BnfEnT (CEO Son Son – DMV)

Suicidal thoughts affecting siblings… The devil is a LIAR!!! God’s still in CONTROL

This makes me sooooooo sad, to see that a sister transitions intermittently from fearing that her brother would commit suicide, to her herself experiencing overwhelming thoughts of it too SMH.

Yes, it’s likely and normal for family members to follow in each other’s footsteps… Like going into law enforcement, medicine, acting or modeling… That’s all well and fine. All three of my daughters mimicked me studying to become a Medical Assistant and eventually working successfully in the field… Now, that’s something to be proud of, especially me, as their mother, I feel as though I was a phenomenal role model.

On the other hand, suicidal thoughts and tendencies running ramped throughout a household of siblings is a sure enough reason to call together a group of missionaries for the purpose of intercessory Prayer… It’s a message in that happening, it’ll require much supplication in order to get to the root of it all. I don’t believe in or would never express to this family that I was concerned that someone had worked some type of witchcraft on them, casting mind controlling spells on them, because I’m sure that I’d be instantly discredited. But, in trying to analyze what could possibly be going on with them, that was a thought that crept in my mind, to no avail… Even though I threw it out there, trust me it holds no relevance and not even meant to be our true source of conversation. Plllleeeeeaaaaassssseeee act as if it were never mentioned, and instead focus on what ways we can help this family and undoubtedly many other families who also need assistance, as they’re going through this same kind of problem.

Alone No More is a ministry still in its infancy stage, that can deftly be beneficial in such times as these. But, we need help with funding, so that a proposal can be composed for grant monies that’ll be used to bring the whole entity together. Donate any amount, even if it’s $1, every cent helps and also share the link on your site(s). And know that it’s greatly appreciated… Every life counts, and those who are hurting simply needs the love, care, concern and compassion that this ministry’s team members will gladly offer.

https://funds.gofundme.com/mobile/dashboard?url=h2r43w

bekindbethoughtful

There are many things that are hard in life. We often have conflicts and dilemmas that stay with us for certain stretches of time. Sometimes they stay for hours, sometimes days, and sometimes they stay with us for years.  The things that make our lives hard are usually not things at all. They are thoughts.

I paused before I knocked on the door. There was slight apprehension in doing so because of the unknown.  What didn’t I know? What do I always fear when knocking on this door?  Whether or not my brother will have killed himself. I used to occasionally fear this, in an abstract manner, but as his outward signs of depression worsen the idea seems less abstract. Sometimes I find myself angry at him because is being selfish and not doing what he needs to be doing. But then there are the days when I feel sad…

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How can you mend a broken heart???

https://www.facebook.com/groups/hcymabh/

A Facebook group I started in 2008, during the most desperate and desolate point of my life, while in need of like minded supporters.

I was lonely, angry, sad, suicidal and down right hopeless!!! This congregation of hurting people helped me heal, and I returned the favor. Today, the group is flourishing, and I feel bad that I’m not as active as before, because my marriage is better than I could’ve ever imagined. So, I don’t really have much to write about.

Nevertheless, I gotta realize that I made a commitment, and as long as they need me I have to be there for them, just as they were for me years ago… It’s all about creativity, even if it means surfing the web, until I find relevant information to share, then that’s what it’ll be… Because I will not shut them out, no matter how good things go in my life!!! Neeeeeevvvveeerr forget where you came from.

BnfEnT (CEO Son Son – DMV)

Testimony service is OFFICIALY open…. And I’m FIRST!!!

Growing up every time I seen anyone crying I assumed they were sad… On day my mom explained to me that people can actually shed TEARS OF JOY. That made me feel better… Now today I have my own reason to cry out thank You a trillion times to God, and I’m trying so hard to squeeze out some tears, to triple express my appreciation to Him… But, they won’t come. Nonetheless, He knows my heart, and how happy I am.

This is how I feel right now…

Those who follow me know that I keep intermittently having bouts of distraction and deterrence from the dumb devil. But, God has used all of you and the Holy Spirit to keep me sustained… kudos to yunce. And it gets better… This morning I finally opened a letter from a Prophet who regularly sends me messages from God… He was telling me that I had unknowingly opened the door to satan’s venom… of course I got all scared, but not bent outta shape!!! Immediately, I anointed myself with oil, and cried out to God. You talking bout supernatural/miraculous change, help, Blessings etc. flowing from on high. Thereafter, I picked up my phone to see a dreadful email from my ONCE auto insurance company, going in on me… boutta make me get all upset and cry bad tears… not the ones of JOY this post is referring to. But God!!!   He said, uhhhhh get rid of em!!! Just like that… Plain and straight to the point, in His still CALM small little voice lol. I wasted no time… Powered up the ole laptop, and got to surfing. Normally, this can be a draining process, having to search through several companies before you’re satisfied… Nope!!! Quick and easy, remember… I’m the King’s kid 🙂 🙂 🙂   Google always categorizes companies according to popularity and/or ratings. Whatever the case, the first one got stuck just spinning, supposedly looking for my driving and previous insurance history, and I’m like Nooooo waaaaayyyyy nobody can have that many tickets, not to mention it’s really only concerned about moving violations, and I own NONE! My Daddy said… move on to the next… Y’all already know my lil obedient self… I did so, and it was on and poppin from there…

I wanted to do this

but my husband would’ve probably called the ambulance lol… He’d been scared outta his wits. Can I tell you, I was expected to pay $416.92 on June 10th, but God turned dat thing AAAALLLLLLLL the way around… $126.37!!! And I know yawl probably thinking like I was, some of the coverage probably changed… No indeed, same coverage, and get this… SOME EXTRAS, and lower deductibles!!! I had my deductibles at their peaks, to keep my premiums down… But God! No More worrying about budgeting this and scarcely paying that… Forget about robbing Peter to pay Paul too… My Daddy is RICH… I reiterate, He owns the cattle on a thousand hills. Now let me run and get this money from my son, to put back in the bank, before it overdraft frfr… Lol, had to leave on a funny note. Especially since lucifer and his lil ugly creäture lookin imps been bothering me gggggggrrrrrrrrrrrrrhhhhhhhhhhhhhh…. I’m gone… Enjoy y’all day!!!

Sooooooo angry at myself!!!

Just what in the world is wrong with me??? “If God be for me, WHO can be against me?”

I gotta stop letting the enemy reap havoc in my life, and I go curl up under bushes, with my tail tucked… Whimpering and subdued… I’m a child of God, an heir of God and a joint heir with Christ Jesus!!!

God has placed tooooooo much in me for me to keep shutting down on His work!!!

My deepest apologies to everyone who has been willing to back me on His endeavor. But, watched me inadvertently sink into that ridiculous nearly two week depression phase… I’m just grateful that God knows me through and through; enough to know that I wasn’t arbitrarily saying no I won’t do it, because other secular issues and/or opportunities took premise.

But rather He saw the distractions the adversary created for me, to veer me off course, and He had to send the right people along to pull me back. I’d like to thank each one of you for continuing to message me, in spite of my silence, during my trying time… That is nobody but God, to keep you steadfast, amidst my craziness… Thanks, thanx… Then thanx one more again!!!

Everybody… Alone No More is about to take off… Hurting individuals will have the love, compassion, attention, affection, care, concern, time, and anything else they need!!! God purposely saved me from twelve obnoxious suicide attempts, and I suffer from Nooooooo brain damage at all… Actually, I’m ridiculously intelligent… Which shows He’s ever so present in my life. Therefore, onward I go… In His service!!!

I’m BBBBAAAAACCCCCKKKKK 🙂 🙂 🙂

BnfEnT (CEO Son Son – DMV)

Tribute to suicide victims – YouTube

http://de.gofund.me/h2r43w

Please go through each link, and realize, especially through their Facebook posts, that these were once normal individuals, living out each day… Then, something happen!!! Most had an abundance of friends and family interacting with them regularly SMH… Alone No More wants to get to the root of the issues and be able to, with the help of God Almighty, stop suicide altogether.

http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/fredericknewspost/obituary.aspx?pid=167476731

Jessica Gladhill

https://www.facebook.com/jessica.gladhill


http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/hartfordcourant/obituary.aspx?pid=166939399

Todd Dorey


http://www.suttonguardian.co.uk/news/8327340.Triple_suicide_family_torn_apart_by_fourth_death/

Anna Borau

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1356031/How-mother-bear-After-suicides-child-lost-legal-high.html


http://worlddestiny.proboards.com/thread/11146

Destiny Grindstaff


http://www.findagrave.com/cgi-bin/fg.cgi?page=gr&GRid=82774735

Isabel Borau


https://www.facebook.com/neil.lal

Neil Lal


http://www.horancares.com/obituary/Sterling-Alexander-Malec/Northglenn-CO/1123023

Sterling Malec

https://www.facebook.com/events/482613408437952/


http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/deseretnews/obituary.aspx?n=jason-mark-ainsworth&pid=156091670

Jason Mark Ainsworth

http://www.findagrave.com/cgi-bin/fg.cgi?page=gr&GRid=85735259


http://www.newsargus.com/obituaries/archives/2007/04/15/nathan_lynn_ford/

Nathan Ford

http://nathan-ford.virtual-memorials.com/

Be ANGRY but sin NOT…

I could only be furious with myself right now, because I’m the one who made the dumb mistake, and it’s so ironic, because I’m a stickler for checking everything twice.

Knowing that what God gave me is for a worthy cause and much needed, I really looked to see if the many individuals who viewed and liked the post had in fact taken the initiative to give a donation, only to find out the link was faulty SMH.

Do, I get frustrated and denounce the entire VISION due to one set back, merely on day 1 of implementation… Lord Nooooooo!!! I’m no quitter and the race is not giving to the swift, but rather to those who’ll ENDURE till the end.

That just means I have to do extra work to gain back the number of supporters who temporarily missed the opportunity to assist. Plllleeeeeaaaaassssseeee forgive me ggggrrrrrrhhhhhh!!!

Nevertheless, here’s the correct link http://e.gofund.me/h2r43w

Also, I’ve added a few stories to the gofundme page, just to enlighten all on the many families who have collectively been affected by the stigma of suicide. Some without warning, thus no perpetration or chance to help at all.

That’s why this app is so important. We’ll be right at the hurting party’s fingertips. Pain and anguish can strike at any giving time of the day or night. And Alone No More will be readily available at everyone’s beckoning.

BnfEnT (CEO Son Son – DMV)

Post from HCUMABH 2/26/14

GM Heartmenders 🙂

Prayerfully all is well with each of you, as for me, life couldn’t be better. NO, everything’s not perfect, but it don’t look like it use to and I have great expectations for the days to come. Starting today, I’ve decided to wholeheartedly TRUST God with my entire life, more than I did in the past. Before, I somewhat gave Him my all, but it was too easy for me to stray. This time around, I’m SOLD OUT, NO turning back, and my desire is to take each one of you with me, as I journey through life in peace and harmony… secure in my mind that God and the heavenly bodies are with me and won’t allow any of US to dash/gash our foot against a stone.

Am I promising you a problem free life going forward? No indeed!!! In fact, I’ll honestly tell you that trials are destined to occur. But, know that is the evidence that we’re walking the straight and narrow… just be sure NOT to deviate. Yes, temptations will rise and you may FALL short, it’s normal my love, just don’t waller in it… immediately get back up, REPENT, and grab our Father’s hand and proceed on.

Each day, before your feet touch the ground, make it a habit to Thhhaaannnkkk God for new life, invite Him into your day, and ask Him to guide and guard every part of your being, and place a covering over your love ones. Then, move into action, allowing Him to have his way with you, of course, follow your routine as normal, taking care of your hygiene and diet, still exercise if you always did, make all your same phone calls and go on to work. The only difference is your quiet conversations with God, that helps you with decision making. For me, I have a spending problem, that arises even more so when I’m bored or sunken… that changes today, as I walk in any store from now on, my prayer will be “Daddy, You know what I need, anything is of no importance, so don’t let me spend unnecessarily”. Likewise, ask Him to aide in your life, in whatever area you struggle. To add, find a point when you open up to be used by Him, for His purpose… just say “Daddy, You’ve been Soooooo good to me and mine, now direct me to do something for You; it’s my pleasure to serve”.

Fam, I know I never finished the series I started about intriguing your man… my bad!!! But, who knows if that was the correct message for me to convey, maybe God will take us back to it or He may lead us somewhere else totally… just be patient with me and enjoy the ride… as always, I love you all to pieces 🙂

BnfEnT (CEO Son Son – DMV)

Post from HCUMABH 1/19/14

I’m back… at work and can only write during breaks, so bear with me.

Nonetheless, back to what I was conveying earlier; before I jump back to it, I wanna give you some history.

When this group evolved some nearly five years ago, I was probably worse off than I am now and surely didn’t think I’d live to see myself be the supportive individual that God allowed me to soon become, and I say soon, because we (HCYMABH) are about to excel.

Back on the very day I sat at my computer and formulated this group, I had no idea what I was doing, and just how it would even turn out, and even with all my slack, I can proudly say we’re 2k strong, and I look forward to us growing in leaps.

However, the day I spoke about was the day I was released from a mental institution, and actually my first time ever attempting suicide, I couldn’t believe that was the route I took, considering I always thought I could conquer anything. The way I was living my life, back then, you would’ve thought I was in jail for homicide vs me being the victim.

Long story short, after leaving, I still wasn’t feeling up to par, so I looked for support groups in my area to help me cope, but nothing was local, so I searched online to no avail. Then God dropped it in my spirit to start my own… I did and here we are. Except I haven’t been faithful to the group, and that’s none other than a trick of the enemy, who caused me to get sidetracked, by sending temporary relationships my way, to keep me from ever getting the good news out to everyone. But, all that’s out the window now… I’m back focused. But, I’ll have to come back later again, breaks over… but do keep a look out for the following posts, because it’s bout to get juicy… stay tuned.

BnfEnT (CEO Son Son – DMV)

Permeate me √√√√√√√

Daddy, I continually surrender my ALL to You and Your Work. I want You to live in and through me, to the point where my words, actions, ways, responses and thoughts surprise me.

True, we have free will! But, I relinquish ALL to You. I keep messing up being myself, following after the lusts and desires of this crazy and chaotic world, and always letting this filthy flesh win. I’m completely sick of it. My primary reason for breathing is to please You in EVERY aspect of my life.

Yes, we have every right to repent, and You do forgive instantly, and that’s MUCH appreciated. But, I just wanna be transformed and renewed to the point where my mess-ups are minimal to none at all!!! You’re sooooooo wonderful to me, BETTER to me than I am even to myself. So, I wanna express my gratitude by being a Good and Faithful servant… I too wanna hear the words “Well done!!!”

Just like Paul said… The things I’m supposed to do I don’t do. But, ALL the things I shouldn’t do; I end up doing ggggrrrrrrhhhhhh 😦 😦 😦 I’m tired of playing tag with the adversary… NOOOOOOO MORE!!!

Father, I’m totally and completely sold out for You… Have Your way in my life, and use me till You use me up!!! Help me to be humble, meek, compassionate, loving, caring and considerate to ALL, even if they’ve hurt me. And it takes dying to my flesh to be able to look past the hurt that others have intentionally caused me, and still love them just as Christ loves the Church… That’s why I beg of You to purge me with hyssop and wash me white as snow.

BnfEnT (CEO Son Son – DMV)

Post from HCUMABH 9/1/12

At one point, I would spend countless hours analyzing myself, trying to figure out what was wrong internally, that caused constant problems in my relationships.

I will admitt, I like all others have flaws, and I can tend to be a bit dominate at times. But, to repeatedly meet with disappointment is ridiculous, and I haven’t a clue what the issue is.

While reflecting on myself, I considered my physique to be the primary culprit. So, I got my weight in tact, and happiness re-kindled. But, before long he was gone again. Then, I assumed it had to be my overbearing demeanor. So, I took on the back-seat occupant role of the relationship for a while, and I let my mate drive us for some eight miserable months; to no avail. Let me tell you, that obnoxious ordeal was short lived, and I eventually found myself by myself, and really contemplating suicide.

After a while, I began asking God if He ultimately wanted me alone, because He had other plans for my life. But, I can’t see that being the predicament, because He made woman from and for man… Which indicates that there IS somebody out here for me. I’m just missing the mark somehow.

To sum it all up, I’m not living in this realm of confusion by my lonesome, and I’m asking for input, so that we, who are hurt, can come out of our emotional bondage, and find TRUE happiness. Don’t be shy, we can all benefit from each others testimonies.

#TEAMHOWTOMENDMYBROKENHEART

BnfEnT (CEO Son Son – DMV)

My journey

In 1993 I first learned of God in a way that would truly be beneficial to me, opposed to what I was accustomed to as a child, at my Grandma Toads’ house, having the missionaries come over every Sunday morning, to teach the household how to live right.

Then, I was way too young for any of the teachings to take root, and change my sinful ways. All I did was watch the clock, waiting for the lady to leave, so I could get to play outside. Although the atmosphere was always structured, and the lessons placed before me contained pertinent tips that could have saved me from most of the heartache I endured after becoming an adolescent, I never forced myself to listen, thus reaping havoc in every arena of my life thereafter.

Today, I’m determined to get it right, and seek Gods’ face like never before. I know firsthand that He’s a keeper, and He rewards anyone who diligently pursues Him. I can bear witness to Him being GREAT, because I had a chance, for a couple of years to have Him working closely with me, once I surrendered my all to Him, and asked Him to lead, guide and direct me. However, I took the wheel again, and it wasn’t until a couple of months ago that I realized I absolutely need Him at the forefront of my life or I’ll either end up in hell or a jail cell, and neither of them are an option for me. I have eleven (11) wonderful grandbabies that not only depend on their parents for moral support, and look for a positive role model. But, also they definitely expect me, the overseer of the entire clan, to have myself in order, so they’ll know how to conduct themselves.

Back in the day, I use to attend these cell groups, that were so helpful and conducive for me but I can’t find them in existence any more… SMH!!! They were a plus, because each new comer was teamed up with a seasoned member, and the two would schedule Prayer allotments and we would also meet for mid-week Bible studies at one or the other’s home, and that getting together like that always carried me over until Sunday morning worship service. Thinking about those days makes me laugh, because my children would be so angry, because I was so thirsty for Christ that we basically lived in church. Twice on Sundays (AM & PM) services, choir rehearsal on Tuesdays, Bible Study on Wednesday, and the cell groups took place every other Friday… I miss that… It sure did me some good. But, I unfortunately allowed my flesh to take over, and I backslid. Nonetheless, I’m happy to know I serve a God that shows forth Grace and Mercy to every one of us. He knows we can’t keep ourselves, and our flesh craves after the ungodly things of the world… But, it’s our responsibility to remain GROUNDED and ROOTED in the Word, so that we’ll have the power to fight against temptations as they rise.

Tonight, I take the initiative to reconstruct the old workable cell groups again. So, if there’s any God fearing women, who feel just like me… You have a desire to do right, but you need that extra push, let’s team up together and PUSH each other into Heaven’s gates. It’s important that we Pray without ceasing and read God’s Word, and we can make it happen as long as we have FAITH the size of a mustard seed… I’m waiting, inbox me please 🙂

BnfEnT (CEO Son Son – DMV)

Seek HIS Face Saturday

Passions’ Pottery:

http://bible.com/111/mat.7.7.niv

“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.

Bible.com/app 

God can do ALL things but lie. Now, some may feel, “I’m not too sure about that, I’ve asked, sought and knocked, with no rebecausee” Worry not, be not dismayed! Either that particular thing you desired IS coming or something totally BETTER is deftly on its way. Very important: my texts can only hold ten people, and when God gave me this task I thought it was for the masses and I’d have to forward it multiple times, in order to reach ALL who’d listen or those who’d be interested, and low and behold I Only have seven committed and dedicated individuals, and trust that if you’re really into this your rewards are on their way. Remember, God sees ALL and will react the same towards you as you do Him. It’s better for you to say remove me from the group then to allow the correspondences to lie dormant or out and out plainly delete them upon receipt. Sure, we all get busy, and some just don’t like reading altogether. Trust it’ll pan out beneficial for you to take a few mins each day, not to only read the Messages, and I purposely capitalized Messages, because they’re specifically from and of God. Also, don’t feel as though ” I’m not going the whole nine yards wit God, so my interactions via text are obsolete and will never amount to nuttin ” Wrong!!! I’ve been saved since 1994 and have never been exactly where I wanna be or where I FEEL God wants me to be. But, He deftly still loves and Blesses me regularly. In fact, I was reluctant about moving forward with this group because I felt inadequate… Nope, those are all tricks of the enemy. Regardless of Church affiliation or the lack thereof, if we, like many WHO won’t at all, spend at least 15 mins with God a day… He’s obliged TRUST ME. Nuttin happens by chance, the chosen vessels who are here; are here because God knows that we’ll grasp the value within and do what’s right.

BnfEnT (CEO Son Son – DMV)

Free Your Mind Frrrrriiiidddddaaaaayyyyy

Passions’ Pottery:

Itttttt’sssssss Frrrrriiiidddddaaaaayyyyy!!! And the day to totally unwind and relax. Even if you must work today, go to school or handle some business that would otherwise be stressful/overwhelming…Don’t allow it! You’re in control of your actions and reactions today. So, every time you feel your adrenaline negatively being impacted… ❎🚫 ⛔ STOP, and remain 🆒 and 🕧 count to ten… Then, smile and realize you’re too BLESSED TO BE STRESSED. with that in mind, carry on with your business at hand, in a peaceful and conducive manner. Purposely think about a vacation you’d love to be on RIGHT NOW and actually allow the very scenery to overtake you, to the point that it feels like an out of body experience, and you really feel the sun beaten down on your shoulders and the sand between your toes, as you slowly approach the fresh blue water ur getting ready to enjoy for a few ticks… Once in the water, and your body has become acclimated… It’s curtains… Nuttin can aggravate nor irritate now… You’re in your zone! Str8 relaxation. FYI if your phone ain’t waterproof don’t even imagine yourself chillin wit Pandora and headphones… Your expensive device hittin that water would ruin the excitement you just built yourself up to lol.    http://bible.com/97/dan.12.13.msg “And you? Go about your business without fretting or worrying. Relax. When it’s all over, you will be on your feet to receive your reward.”
Bible.com/app

BnfEnT (CEO Son Son – DMV)

Thank HIM Thursday

Passions’ Pottery:

Sooooooo, thanking God for His goodness can become so cliché. Don’t let it!!! We know how we do when we’re rushing “Father God, I thank You for waking me up, thank You for food, a car to drive and shelter… Amen” Ohhhhh nah, we’s not boutta keep short changing Him… Commit to 7 measly mins of pure and genuine Thanksgiving. For He inhabits the Praises of His people. Go off by yourself and use your headphones, in case you be all embarrassed about interacting wit God. But, go to Pandora and put on VaShawn Mitchell – Nobody greater and start by clapping your hands and audibly saying Hallelujah… Who cares if you look dumb lol. The rewards thereafter will be surmountable. And some may have instant things to thank God for, yet while others may need the Holy Spirit within to intercede on your behalf. Either way, just the mere fact that you obediently took the initiative, Heaven’s gonna cry out. Now, we all know how Pandora works, that specific song may not immediately populate. Nonetheless, go for it, whilst allowing two songs to play through… Hey, if the Spirit takes over, and you find yourself on the floor some hours later, deftly come back to dis link for a Praise report. http://bible.com/97/psa.136.1-3.msg Thank God ! He deserves your thanks. His love never quits. Thank the God of all gods, His love never quits. Thank the Lord of all lords. His love never quits.
Bible.com/app love each of you to pieces!!!

BnfEnT (CEO Son Son – DMV)

We Can Do It Wednesday

Passions’ Pottery:

Still need three more… But, two of my loves have said yes, and joined us!!! http://bible.com/111/php.4.13.niv I can do all this through Him who gives me strength.
Bible.com/app Today is a new day, different than yesterday, and presenting different opportunities for Peace. Disregard any and all things you endured and focus your thoughts on our Father above, Who has within His realm of control all that’s necessary to make matters better. But, we MUST ask. It only takes 10-15 mins to get in His presence and 1) Thank Him for life 2) Repent regardless of your knowledge of apparent sin 3) Ask for the strength needed to conquer any endeavor you’re facing, going to face or simply for emotional, physical, mental, financial or knowledgeable… He’ll deftly do it… He just needs us to come!!!

BnfEnT (CEO Son Son – DMV)

I give myself away

“I give myself away”

William McDowell – I Give Myself Away:

New dedication, new mindset, new task, and onward for Christ Jesus!!!

Last I posted, I was steadfast on the fact that I was waiting for and believing God, against all odds, for a breakthrough in my once chaotic relationship, and that my ex would eventually call, and we’d be miraculously reunited.

Without fail, God gave me my hearts desire, because that’s one of His promises, in His Holy Word, and He’ll never disappoint. Easter morning the phone rang, and I purposely held my composure, to not let him know that I was anxious to hear from him, we talked, and hooked up later that evening. You won’t believe it was a complete disaster!!!

Now, I could’ve been angry with God, asking what kind of games are You playing, it wasn’t suppose to turn out that way. But, I kept an open mind, and looked at it all from a different perspective. I was the one begging for this, so God did in fact Bless in my favor. But, that had absolutely nothing to do with the way my ex was feeling about us, and God could’ve very well changed his heart throughout the course of the day, to make him be receptive and approachable during our rendezvous. But, God is gentle and won’t even force us to do right by Him, make less force any of us into a relationship we’re not interested in pursuing.

With all that said, I just knew after parting ways with him that I’d sink into the deepest depression I’d ever experienced… Nope, total opposite! God gave me the presence of mind to thank Him for the opportunity, grab my phone and block communication, and carry on with the work He has lined up for me to perform. Not one tear fell, I actually got an instant burst of energy, as if I were renewed through and through.

Immediately, I came to the realization that my ex’s job in my life was finished, he had done what God needed him to do, and that was to bring me back into full knowledge and association with Him. God has ways of getting our attention, and my ex was purely the conduit that kept me on my knees and ever before the face of God crying out for direction and deliverance from the mess I had once again entangled myself in.

Believe it or not, all are not intended to be married, it is written. So, I’ve relinquished all to God, telling Him until He sees fit for me to be with someone, I’ll remain His servant, and happily work on His battlefield without contempt. I surrendered my all to Him, to use me as He pleases, knowing deep in my heart that happiness will follow my endurance, if I faint not.

Doing it God’s way

Without Faith, it’s impossible to please God… Faith is the substance of things hoped for and the evidence of things not seen!!!

Starting today, I change the way I look at, declare & decree, and Pray about my ex and relationship. “NO MORE” will I act and react in the natural, as it relates to how I feel about what I’m experiencing, and continue to sabotage my Blessing.

No matter how it actually is, (not calling, probably being unfaithful, and not even thinking about me as I am him) those things won’t determine how I respond.

Imma child of God, and No good thing shall He withhold from us who walk upright before Him. But, I can’t be double minded though, once I get frustrated, change my Prayers and ask God to take the very thought of him outta my mind, knowing that’s not how my heart actually feels… I’m the one losing and crushing myself ultimately.

I’m believing with all my heart of hearts that God formed our bond from the start and had always been well pleased with the works He performed, but our insecurities, fears, lack of communication and wrongdoings wedged repetitive blocks between us. Nevertheless, we’re not too damaged for God to reconnect… What God joins together, let NO man put asunder.

No, God won’t force our ex’s to be with us, just to heal our broken hearts, if they’re happier where they’ve moved on to. But, if there’s at least one iota of hope within, He begins the process of reunification and before long happiness is in the air again.

I tried old boyfriends and social dating to no avail, and that’s minutely because my true feelings are to him and I would’ve only used the other guy as a pawn anyways and that’s not fair to them nor Godly. So, I’m glad it failed. I’m doing this with every glimmer of hope and I’ll be sure to keep you all abreast along the way. God Bless… Love ya

Because I STOOD… God’s up to something GOOD

It’s always surprised me that I have more war wounds, arrests, and hard times than my only brother and all of the males in my extended family… I’ve Neeeeeevvvveeerr come to grips with why I was so rambunctious, angry and mean… Something in my childhood obviously caused the hideous behavior, and it’s purely the Grace of God that kept my standing and living through it all SMH!

Beat for seven hours, in the interim, loss conscious, I STOOD

Jumped by eight humongous women, while an acquaintance of their stood watch with a pump shotgun I STOOD

Car flipped three times on highway, unexplainably I STOOD

Head and face split wide open, with 40 oz. beer bottle, skull exposed I STOOD

Mother’s Day – should’ve been haaaappppyyyy… Assaulted, with unknown object, entire face bloodied, four front (permanent) teeth gone I STOOD

And the list goes on and on, of the terrible things I endured before knowing Christ as I do now… “Any man be in Christ is a NEW creature, old things are past away, behold all things are made Nnnnnneeeeeeewwwwwww” and I had to emphasize (new) to show just how excited I am about my future.

The devil really tried to take my life on many occasions… But God!!! Until your purpose for God is fulfilled on earth, Nooooooo worries, the enemy can’t take you out, and I’m just getting started… So, look out satan. I mean, he succeeded in roughing me up and giving me a few lifelong scars, but I’m still standing, and those scars are simply reminders of the chaotic days he had me running ramped, with Nooooooo regard for human life SMH.

Those days are gone, God snatched me up, and told me to run on; this race set before, and that’s the best thing that ever could’ve happen for me… Today, I’m drug and alcohol free. I don’t do clubs or house parties, I work daily and come home. NO MORE fighting and craziness… I live my life for Christ and thus shall reap all the benefits… And I patiently wait, knowing He’s up to something GOOD 🙂 🙂 🙂

Follow me as I allow Christ to LEAD!!!

R.I.P. Paulette “Passion” Williams-Murphy

Normally, this would be a time of sadness, mourning, grieving, and a lot of tears being shed. On the contrary, I’ll tell you firsthand… Let any tears that flow be ones of JOY, for this is a glorious time for anyone who experiences this type of death (DYING TO SELF). Where you take on the John 3:3-7 type of death and burial, which totally denounces the flesh and all its wicked desires all together.

Believe me, I’m haaaappppyyyy as a Lark, for I know it’s all uphill from here… Nooooooo good thing will God withhold from me now, because I took the initiative to put Him first and at the forefront of my life, and teach me how to Walk in newness, and I’m excited to proclaim the effects of the Holy Spirit living within and controlling my everyday activities is purely evident.

Thursday, I went to the nail salon, for beautification purposes, and my eldest daughter later joined me, and it was amazing to her how good I was doing upon her arrival and the farewell before leaving… Her jaws dropped, and she just had to say something, which made me even happier about my transformation… Her words were  “wow, I can’t believe what I just saw, maaaaannnnnnn you’re doing good lately, you’ve really changed”!!! That’s how it should be, I don’t have to run around hollering (I’m a Christian)… No indeed, it should be apparent, when people watch you, that God is working out your Salvation, and removing EVERYTHING that could ever inadvertently hinder your Walk.

See, she was use to me coming home with stories about me cursing an artist out, boutta fight somebody, or totally getting banned from the establishment… ” NO MORE “ all those negative attributes, characteristics, and ill personalities are finished… Just like Jesus himself declared as He took His last breath!!!

Ain’t Nooooooo stopping me now. Long lines in grocery stores can’t get me upset, hideous traffic no longer upsets me, people backbiting and gossiping about me can’t get me to respond… That old person, with all those chaotic ways is DDDDEEEEAAAADDDD!!!