Let’s get Summer Walker to Children’s Hosp in NW D.C. #summerwalker @summerwalker

Let’s get Summer Walker to Children’s Hosp in NW D.C. #summerwalker @summerwalker

She can’t travel to see Summer Walker, because her health keeps illustrating a roller-coaster effect.. So, can we work together to get Summer to the hospital please 😇🙏🙌👏

#summerwalker @summerwalker

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PLEASE PRAY, THEN PRAY AGAIN, AND THEN PRAY SOME MORE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE 🙏🙌👏😇

If I’ve never evah been serious in my life…. Please please please please please please please please take me SERIOUS right now, and no matter where you are, who you’re with or around… Just close your eyes and say Jesus FIX IT FOR PAULETTE AND HER ENTIRE LINEAGE 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌

GET RID OF BILL COLLECTAHZ 4EVAH

GET RID OF BILL COLLECTAHZ 4EVAH #okkkkrrrrttt #paydatshityourfuckinself #MINDYOURFUCKINBIZNESS #leavemedafuqalone #putemonnashirt4Passion #pluckemoff4Passion #pressemout4Passion #wipeanigganose #savagemode #shootahdcpassion #staywoke

GET RID OF BILL COLLECTAHZ 4EVAH

Things Dat Make You Go… 🤔 2

#AyeMoeKill #Talent #talented #talentoverload #dancing #icandothis #icandothat #videooftheday #broketheinternet #THANKCHU #BIGFACTS #PERIODTT #getdastrap #okkkkrrrrttt #millionairemindset #wipeanigganose #mindcontrol #yadig #PERIODTT #getdastrap #enjoylifesmileeveryday #rundat #getstrong #STAYWOKE #splattt 👌 💞 💗 😍 🙏 😇 🙌 💋 💖 💕 ❤️ 👍

Things Dat Make You Go… 🤔 1

#AyeMoeKill #Talent #talented #talentoverload #dancing #icandothis #icandothat #videooftheday #broketheinternet #THANKCHU #BIGFACTS #PERIODTT #getdastrap #okkkkrrrrttt #millionairemindset #wipeanigganose #mindcontrol #yadig #PERIODTT #getdastrap #enjoylifesmileeveryday #rundat #getstrong #STAYWOKE #splattt 👌 💞 💗 😍 🙏 😇 🙌 💋 💖 💕 ❤️ 👍

Watch “Dauglyducklin.org presents Naked & UNAFRAID (4/22/19 – 1)” on YouTube

Thinking back, allowing myself to be isolated, like I have been for the past week, would have driven me bonkers. But God!!! There’s a huge important difference, between isolation and CONSECRATION, and I pick the latter, for 200 Steve 👌💗💞🙏💋💖🙌💕❤️👍

It’s now or never, point blank #PERIODTT, and I wholeheartedly say Yes Lord, have Your way in, through and with me, for all else has failed, and I’m finally convinced, that You are, the Way, Truth and the Light, and no man shall make it to the Father, but by You.

NO MORE running, I surrender my everything to You, and I’m readily available, to be used as Your vessel, just lead, guide and direct me, according to Your Righteous plan for my life. Wash me, and make me whole, purge me with hissop, and I shall be clean, bridle my tongue, and go into the inner most parts of me, and REMOVE any and everything, that’s not right and like You!!!

No, it won’t be an overnight transition, and I may fall 1,000 more times, before I’ll get it right, but just know, that it’s my earnest desire, to walk upright before You, and turn from my wicked ways. I’m beyond thankful, for Your Grace and Mercy, which are both new for me each day, and I come now, with a repented heart and a made up mind, to please You, from here on out, in all that I do and say… Please take now, and keep total control, of my entire being, and direct me, down Your path, that leads to eternal Peace, Love, Happiness and Joy… Hallelujah and Amen 💯💯💯

Watch “Alone NO MORE 1…Suicide prevention and awareness. We shall live and not die. Peace BE STILL 🙏😇🙏” on YouTube

Alone NO MORE 1

Hey P-Duds,

We’re finally tapping into one of the segments that fall under Da Ugly Ducklin that really really hits home with me, and will always be a subject/topic that is fragile, in my opinion, and I feel the need to cradle it, just as I did every single newborn I birthed.

Alone NO MORE is geared towards suicide prevention and awareness first and foremost, but of course you can’t just eat all the icing and throw away the cake; uhhhhhhhh it’s a package deal #nocap, and for that reason we’ll broadly integrate mental health issues, treatment and the likes as well

Please please please please please be on point guys, as it relates to friends and family members, who are suffering with any of the underlying problems, regardless of whether or not you feel that they just want attention… Of course they do duhhhhhhh #staywoke and do any and everything in your power to cater to their needs when and wherever they summons you… Their life depends on it #PERIODTT

Watch “The Transparent ME – Enquiring Minds Wanna Know – Everything At The Forefront… No holding back!!!” on YouTube

The Transparent ME 1

Hey P-Duds,

So, we’re on day 2, and as promised, I’m giving it to you RAW!!! This VLog takes us back to my website, dauglyducklin.org, and into the mind of PASSION, from 2014, when I transitioned from mere blogging to VLogging, and my first post was really short, on July 9, 2014, where I gave a verse, concerning God’s desire for marriage, and I added “So Into You” by Fabolous and Tamia. But, I am totally clueless as to what drove me to pick that song smh… Or exactly what my mind was focused on at that moment. Nevertheless, The Transparent ME is where we’ll go deep deep into the craziness that PASSION has endured for the past 19 years… To include, but most certainly not limited to dealing with the whirlwind of roller-coaster emotions and chaos, that’s a reflection of my suffering from multiple mental health issues, several bouts of homelessness, that my psychiatrist simply writes off as “THE NORM” for (people like me)… Dafuq?!?!? What is that supposed to mean… Okkkkkrrrrrrtttttt, doc Imma let that slide, sense you got all them lil cute degrees hanging up on that wall behind you, because frfr you’re more than likely right, now that I think 🤔 about it grrrrrrhhhhh, I am a humdinger at times, and I’m almost positive I do da most, soooooo I probably had a few temper tantrums, that aided in my being unfortunately displaced #THANKCHU. Also, we’ll delve into my many near death experiences #getdastrap, my need for 3 reconstructive surgeries geeeesssshhhh and I’ll elaborate on my horrible war wounds and 14 suicide attempts. Strap your seat belts, sit back, and enjoy the ride, we’re in a caravan, on a mind blowing road trip, traveling down the path of unpaved tar of “The Life of PASSION”… Stay tuned and ENJOY 👌🤣😵😲🙏💗💞💋💖👍

Watch “HCYMABH 1… Back In Stride Again!!! Passion of dauglyducklin.org revamping my ministries 4 God 💜💙” on YouTube

HCYMABH 1

Hey P-Duds,

Please allow me to apologize for being inconsistent, that’s absolutely horrible and unacceptable on my part, and most certainly not the least bit OK, in the eyes of God, and I can assure you that I’m back, full throttle and for the long haul.

I’ve wasted so much time over the years, searching for MY niche, thinking of ways to make videos for you guys, with so many different topics, thinking that I’m finally adhering to His beckoning, not even realizing whole time, that none of this… My misery, pain, hurt, anger, anguish, trials, tribulations, setbacks, ministries, platforms, followers, the website, and so on and so on, was ever about me, and what I could gain nor recoup from it all. But, rather I’m just a mere conduit, servant frfr, that God desires to use, to get His Message out to His people.

Da Ugly Ducklin, The Transparent ME, H.U.T., TMOB, Alone NO MORE, Sister Sistah Connection, and neither HCYMABH all belong to God, and are only vehicles He’ll use, for me to carry out His Work, as it is and has always been ordained for me to do.

Today, I spent some quality time, looking back over, a few posts from 2009, on Facebook, in the group How Can You Mend A Brokenheart, and I was overly amazed and thankful for all the people who really interacted back then, and more excited about all those who’ve remained loyal, in spite of my lack, in keeping the group active and flourishing. Thanks guys… You mean the world to me and God, and I promise you once again, that I’m Back In Stride Again, and this time with a vengeance… Legggggoooo 🤣 💯 😂 👍

From March 30, 2014

Before walking in to work, I was vexed in my spirit because the word “capsize” continued to maneuver through my brain. Instantly, I looked the word up, to obtain a better understanding of what, if anything, God was trynna show me, but the definition was disheartening and scary; so I prayed for EVERYONE then posted my Lil warning… Nonetheless, I still didn’t feel the settling within that I expected or shall I say like what normally occurs following intercession… That comfort that overcomes me, reassuring me that all is well. However, I proceeded on, setting up my work station, entrusting all to my Father… Then, a small still voice spoke “your life” I’m like huh??? Again, He reiterated “YOUR LIFE, and went on to express to me that my life is getting ready to flip for the better… Everything about me has to and will change… Not as time passes on… Ohhhhh no my dear, you don’t have that type of time… You have known about your calling since 1993 but never hearkened… No, I won’t force Myself upon you, for I’m a gentleman at best. But, know that I have work for you to do and it’s NOT optional”!!!

On any other day, this experience would have scared me outta my wits… But, God is a God of order, and disarray fits no where in His schema… Therefore, His omniscient powers already for seen this turn of events, and He had me prepared… For the past three days, there’s been no Drake, Sevyn Streeter nor Lil Wayne bumping through my Bluetooth, instead, I’ve been eating good from none other than Bishop T.D. Jakes, and his messages have all been flowing in the direction God needed me to trod.

Even writing about it now I can feel God’s presence and His fresh anointing is ever so near and comforting… I love You Daddy, and I thank You for Your patience, grace and mercy that’s always shown evident in my life… Even down to the generation that my grand babies are living out now… You talking bout AWESOME; there’s absolutely NONE like You, and most definitely, I say yes to Your will and way for our lives… All 16 of us… To include (My four and their eleven) 💓

Da Ugly Ducklin – The Transparent Me 7/24/15 (DAY 5)

Da UGLY Ducklin -IN DA LIFE OF PASSION

Today is FREE YOUR MIND FRIDAY no matter what the enemy tries to throw your way DODGE it, and keep it movin. Show him he has NOOOOOOOOOOOO power or control,and will not keep you bogged down!

Chris Brown with the suicide rumors going around. I searched through several sites, only to find out the world is getting all worked up about what they’re considering to be a cryptic message on his instagram… and more can be read here http://sandrarose.com/2015/05/is-chris-brown-suicidal/ & http://sandrarose.com/2015/06/chris-brown-wont-be-around-next-year/

I Pray she’s wrong. But, I’m not too happy about the writings she wrote, and many others stated their feelings on her site.

My apologies for getting upset, after talking about the beating I received from my last husband, and not really doing well in the Vlog.

Family should always stick together and help one another out, especially during homelessness.

Parents Pray for your grown child or children who’s…

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Da APPLE don’t fall far from Da TREE

Da UGLY Ducklin -IN DA LIFE OF PASSION

Proverbs 22:6

6 “Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.”

Starting October 26, 1993, following this charge was imperative in my life, and I set out to do just that… In fact my children say they couldn’t wait to get grown, so I couldn’t FORCE them to go to Church any longer. I mean we attended service EVERY time the doors opened, I may have over did it! But, that was because of my lifestyle before transformation, and my believing that we needed extra cleansing, in order to be RIGHT with God. Nonetheless, the Word never lied, because my babies know the goodness of God, and He’s Who they depend on in the time of troubles. To add, they have dignity an integrity, due to the long hours we spent with God. Therefore, it panned out…

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Watch “Ceosonson – SelfMade Official Music Video (Explicit) feat. 2cups & Kidwatah” on YouTube

Da UGLY Ducklin -IN DA LIFE OF PASSION

This man right here is so talented, I must say I’m very impressed, and that’s NOT ONLY because he’s my only Son… I’m loyally one to give credit where it’s due… to God be the Glory!!!

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Looking Back on 7/18 /15 cont.

My determination to do the Will of God regardless of the video keep stopping. Don’t sit on the things God’s impressing upon you to do. The things you’ve gone through and experienced are for a reason… Allow your tests to become your testimonies. HCYMABH by 7/18 /15 has been in existence since 2009… 6 years and even though it lies dormant people don’t fall away… That’s God!!! Alone No More and the need for the app and being able to video chat even when you’re feeling suicidal, and me being suicidal in February 2015 and getting hospitalized and not liking it at all. Continuum of care for Alone No More is very much needed and long term therapy sessions will be implemented. H. U. T. (HOLDING US TOGETHER) Family Togetherness Ministry – Wanting families to see each other 4 times a month if not that, at least once.

Looking back… 7/18 /15

Very first VLog introducing myself, explaining how I started How Can You Mend A Broken Heart in 2009 on Facebook. How I began the brand Da Ugly Ducklin, and why it was even coined its name from start. Discussing how I want Da Ugly Ducklin to expand into a 5 point organization, that integrates different outreach ministries, especially Alone No More, which is created for suicide prevention.

EROS LOVE 1 (10/17/17 Tuesday)

Keep the fire 🔥 lit and never get caught looking a hot mess, the same way you looked the day you guys met is the same way you’re expected to look daily, never become complacent and start walking around the house for days with your Don King hair do, no shower, no pedicure… Come on now, we gotta do better ladies, and men, keep dat face and head shaped up and bathe regularly as well!!!

Get da flash drive, sexy lingerie and smell good oils and take each other to ecstasy… Next on the list is CLIMAX, THEN STRAIGHT BUMPING AND GRINDING 👌💣🕒⏳💯🎭😰😍☒😴😢😬🔒🎶

EROS LOVE 1 (CLICK HERE PLEASE)

Click LINK ABOVE to view the full video

AGAPE LOVE 1 (10/16/17 MONDAY)

Please give feedback about how well you do with this or on the contrary it’s something you struggle with like me… In that case still comment and let’s work together to get our issues under control to bring about change.

AGAPE LOVE 1

Click LINK ABOVE 4 VIDEO

Nothing beats insolvency but a TRY!!!

Because I love YOU

Grant it, we all go “THROUGH” rough times, and understandably so, considering our Father own the cattle on a thousand hills!!! The devil BIG mad or little mad??? Without a shadow of doubt, know that He’s got the WHOLE world in His hands, and it ain’t but so much lucifer can do to us and keep us ostracized, bound, sad, hurt ad plenty more other bouts of emotions his wicked curve balls attempt to invoke once twirled.

The emphasis put on through shows that there’s a pot of gold at the end of EVERY RAINBOW, we just gotta remain steadfast and keep right on PUSHING… Love yall to pieces… Stay Encouraged and Prayed Up 🙂

Da Ugly Ducklin – The Transparent Me 7/28/15 (DAY 9)

#FEEDBACK #YOUROPINION #YOURSTORY

Da UGLY Ducklin -IN DA LIFE OF PASSION

Today is TALK ABOUT IT TUESDAY initially intended for friends and family to discuss different sermons, scriptures or Godly topics that each came across on previous days, for the purposes of readying yourselves for Wednesday Bible Study, where you’ll Prayerfully be armed with plenty of questions.

However my day didn’t begin good, and I had to vent after a crying moment, because I was so upset with my children.

Please give your opinion about the situations I discussed.

Thank God I feel 100 % better now… God Bless each of you, and may Heaven continue to smile upon you and yours

Please subscribe to my YouTube channel, and follow me on every social network where we meet up, and I’ll surely do the same for you.

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Da Ugly Ducklin – The Transparent Me 7/25/15 (DAY 6)

The cycle of life is overwhelming… I did these videos and purposely put dates for reflection purposes, to see how things either got worse, BETTER or inadvertently stayed the same #HOLYSPIRITPLEASEFALLAFRESHUPONMEANDMINE

Da UGLY Ducklin -IN DA LIFE OF PASSION

Today is SEEK HIS FACE SATURDAY and make sure you read a scripture, Pray, Praise or Worship Him today.

Christian wife/ Muslim husband (How you interact) (Praying, Praising & Worshipping together impossible)

Me seeing the aftermath of my two sisters after getting brutally beating (Reason for my hostility toward men)

Women should stay in their place (We cannot beat NO man)

A mother’s job is NEVER done (Talk to your grown child) (Help them identify and then succeed at their goals)

Feeling ostracized after alcohol cease (How to enjoy life when everyone else still indulges)

Family should never see each other homeless (Well to do family won’t help SMH)

Never seclude your mate because you have no friends or family to chill with.

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Da Ugly Ducklin – The Transparent Me 7/30/15 (DAY 11)

My my my, nearly two years ago and it seems as though things still haven’t changed for us uuugggghhhh!!! #FATHERGODINHEAVENWENEEDYOUOHSOBAD

Da UGLY Ducklin -IN DA LIFE OF PASSION

Today is THANK HIM THURSDAY

Shooting in my daughter’s house (Close call SMH)

Her trip to the Dominican Republic

The 8 hours beautification process (Oh how HAPPY I’ll be afterwards)

HCYMABH… Back up and active.

Alone No More… Lying dormant, which is a GOOD thing, because nobody’s suicidal.

H.U.T. My desires for an immediate family (Annual Reunion) on a Yacht, even though I’m terribly scared of water.

TMOB – The Mouth Of Babez (New Ministry) For youth 21 and under, to learn the importance of having a relationship with God and the POWER in Prayer. Taking our children to church ain’t at all the gist of it. They MUST know what’s expected of them and all the BENEFITS within. More important, we don’t want them embarrassed or fearful to Pray to or interact with God.

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Da Ugly Ducklin – The Transparent Me 8/3/15 (DAY 15)

To be or not be is the question #REALLYDONTKNOWWHOIAMANYMORE

Da UGLY Ducklin -IN DA LIFE OF PASSION

Today is MAKE EM SMILE MONDAY

Contradictory Vlog: Yesterday I stated we must love in spite of. Then, I turn right around and ditch my husband to sleep on the streets.

Ironically, I have every reason not to smile.

My daughter nearly died behind illicit drugs.

Misplaced anger towards my mother-in-law SMH.

The BREADWINNER can’t even get a decent meal???!!!

The effects of K2 on your marriage, family and life.

Get rid of your flesh, it destroys you and others you interact with.

Should you leave your spouse for indulging in drugs, simply because they’re irresponsibly still doing it, even after something bad has happened.

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Da Ugly Ducklin – The Transparent Me 8/7/15 (DAY 19)

Whirlwind of chaotic memories SMH #IWHOHAVENOTHING

Da UGLY Ducklin -IN DA LIFE OF PASSION

Today is FREE YOUR MIND FRIDAY

Woke up to car GONE… You talkin bout FURIOUS!!!

I lost the car“… Are you serious???

How your mates choice to indulge in illicit drugs creates unnecessary problems for the both of you.

Telling your grown children to live one way, but you settle for the things you’re trynna save them from… DOUBLE STANDARD

If you choose to put up with your mate… Don’t bagger them thereafter

Living with others is hard… Food issues arise, and everyone not buying household supplies… NOT FAIR

How my family is all of a sudden going through simultaneously SMH

My son’s up and coming rap career… My feelings about the uneasy content

How I want my children to get and keep my grandbabies before the face of God

How bad I want God to fall upon me on a daily basis… to help me…

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Strong Bonds That Hurt (((TEARS)))

My name is Paulette Williams, and I’m reaching out to you on the behalf of my family.  The entire family is dysfunctional for real and I’d like to see a change in that, but that’d take some time understandingly so. Therefore, my primary focus right about now is my immediate family, which consists of my four children and their eleven children.

As it stands, my two youngest daughter​s have severed ties with me after a family vacation this past week turned rather ugly, and hidden ill feelings reared its ugly head, causing complete chaos. No one​ actually became physical, but the end result was the police having to be called to mediate certain situations to the best of their abilities, but still upholding the law, with advice to each of us to seek out legal help for many unresolved financial issues.

A little history: Since the age of 15 I began raising my children alone, with absolutely no help from their fathers, all four different, which was something I was always shameful about and another thing I constantly discouraged for my three daughters. I repetitively used my many mistakes as points of reference for the way I did not want them to follow, seeing as though my adolescent and beginning adult years was filled with several arrests, alcohol, drugs, mental illnesses, suicide attempts, multiple marriages and reconstructive surgeries, that came about because of my ways, attitude, disposition, actions and crazy reactions.

After my last jail stay, I took a good look at these new little faces joining our lineage (MY gorgeous grandbabies), and I vowed to myself to be a BETTER mother and grandmother (The expected Echelon/Matriarch) that I should’ve been from start. I took the initiative to go back to college and I finally received my certificate in Medical Assistance and I secured a prominent position for a wonderful OB/GYN and together we successfully ran both her offices at two of the best hospitals in Washington, DC, and this was my way of life and something positive being modeled in front of them for some time, until I came down with Sciatica and had to have emergency surgery, which inadvertently landed me on disability. In the interim I continued to profess my Faith in God and they too followed my lead, and I’m ever so thankful for that, because it kept my family strong and bonded.

Before long, SSI help became inadequate, as the cost of living increased from year to year. So, I obtained a Ticket to Work, and became gainfully employed by the United States Postal Service, where all three of my daughters followed my lead, but eventually resigned unadvisable, and it seems like things have been rough for all of us since then.

Speed forward: Due to all the time I wasted either from being incarcerated, in mental institutions, totally drunk or high, away from my babies I never was able to do anything nice for them. So, I bought us a timeshare, that we all could utilize either individually or as a family, and I own the eleventh week of each year, which happens to always fall in my second daughter’s birthday month, and it worked out perfect for the first year of her going down with her friends and family and my request was merely that the rest of us join sometime throughout the course of that week for a family gathering. I was ecstatic to give her this yearly gift, because she was one of my children who claimed to feel that she was the black sheep, and overlooked by me. Although I didn’t see this, I will attest to one thing. If it’s true that she’s been made to feel that way, in actuality it’s all deserving, seeing as she’s the one of my children that has always been outlandish and blatantly disrespectful to me and anyone else that tries to speak logic, rules, reality and constructive criticism to her.

Nonetheless, March 12, 2017 thru March 19, 2017 should’ve been a happy moment for our Lil family, but it was everything but that; it turned out to be a complete nightmare, with my baby daughter not even showing up, but sent her only daughter to me half packed, hair not done and in my opinion not properly fed, all for the sake of chasing a man who tried to kill her in her apartment bedroom, while her toddler baby lay asleep on the bed just steps away from the gunfire, not to mention he kidnapped her baby, torturing her by repetitively threatening that he was gonna kill her Mommy SMH. There was a stay away order in place between them, that my daughter illegally allowed him to break, by willingly letting him come back around her and her daughter, not even considering the fact that this man still indulges in illicit drugs and drinks regularly, which can cause him to snap again. Had me and my husband not been present to help her and the baby out of the unfortunate predicament, my thoughts are that they’d both probably be dead. Her reasons for “cutting me off” is because of my threats, (out of frustration), to report her to Child Protection, in an effort to forcefully get my granddaughter out of harm’s way. Perhaps I did appear to be mean by saying that, but I felt I was left with no other option, seeing as she’s 23 and totally disregarded my motherly advice to never see him again or at least not allow him anywhere around the baby. I had gotten her a rental car, because she now lives in Tennessee, and needed a better source of highway transportation to come to and from DC for visits. So, I thought about punishments that I use to implement when they were younger that worked and taking things from them that they really liked always got their attention, and brought about immediate change. So, I snatched the keys to the rental car, Praying that’d make her see how serious I was about her leaving that toxic man alone, but it caused her to hate me instead, and I come to find out that was because she no longer had her car, that’s been parked for five months, while she enjoyed the luxuries of the rentals, to resort to, because the prohibited man, during one of his many nights of rage flattened all four of her tires, and it’s gonna cost nearly $800 to get someone to professionally come to the car and remove each tire, change it from the rim, and reinstall them.

It would appear that she’d see all the things that this man has done to negatively impact her life and leave him on her own, but she turns the blind eye and deaf ears obviously. She has a permanent huge chunk missing from her abdomen, from where he bit her and ripped flesh away. On many occasions she has to be stuck for weeks leading into months with no phone, because he destroys them. After the mishap with her Post Office job, she went to school and was overjoyed at the fact that she secured her CNA license. After the shooting in her home and the terrible attack she endured, she had to be put on major medications to help get rid of flashbacks and nightmares, but she kept falling asleep while on patient watch, now once again she’s left jobless. I stressed to her to please see the culprit for all her downfalls to be this man, and do the right thing and separate herself from him at once. Lastly, about this particular daughter; I would hate for any before and after pics to be shown of her, with the comparison timeline being since the day she hooked up with him to present. It’d bring tears to your eyes, just as it does me being her mother and having to watch my babygirl self destruct; only because she’s reached the age of appropriation, and no longer has to abide by my rules. It crushes my heart to see how frail my child is now, face all sunken in, and her baby looks even worse, but every time I feel it’s my duty to get officials involved my two eldest children and other friends and family members say I’ll be doing the baby an injustice. Please help!!!

To add, back to the daughter I spoke about earlier, the one that felt a bit slighted by me years ago and still does now I’m sure, after this weeks horrible vacation. From a child all the way through to where we are today, she’s always been a very mean, rude, disloyal and obnoxious young lady, not only to me, but also to strangers, extended family and her own siblings, and she knows and apparently adores this about herself, even to the point that her nickname “Rudiist Bitch” was coined after her crudeness, something I hate with a passion and always tried to help her lose sight of to no avail.

But, the night things got blown out of proportion concerning my baby daughter, I made a statement that caused friction to transpire between us two, and I regret it, because she was actually trying to help me figure out a course of action for her younger sister. My oldest daughter asked a question about how I intended to handle the fact that I’d never be able to see or talk to my baby daughter and her child again, and my stupid reply was that I’d just start treating her as I had been doing my middle daughter “feeding her with a long handled spoon“. Instantly, my middle daughter went off, it was like a domino effect the entire night, even spilling over to my oldest daughter and my only son, who wasn’t even present. Certainly it was misplaced anger, that was definitely geared towards my baby daughter for how she left my granddaughter outside in the cold, to wait for her sister to bring her to me, while she rushed away back to this evil man she’s connected with, something she never would have done before meeting him.

But, my reasons for starting to deal with my middle daughter that way is because she was and still is involved in a way worse domestic violence relationship and she has four small babies who cringe at the sound of any raised voices, even if it’s in excitement during a sports game or we’re watching a boxing match. Her lip is disfigured and she has all types of permanent slits and cuts, that’s been stitched up from her crazed maniac. It’s nothing to walk in her home and find blood splatter everywhere and all the furniture flipped and broke. But, she never would adhere to my begging her to leave the unhealthy relationship, and even went a step further to simply tell me to mind my business, and just like with my baby daughter, I was encouraged not to contact the police, because the children may get the bitter end of the stick in the end. So, I just made up in my mind to stay away from them as much as possible. To her, that was the straw that broke the camel’s back, since she said she’d been trying to put a finger on why I’d been so distant. She decided if that was my initial thought pattern, let’s make it all the way official and indefinite. Not once did she consider the fact that I’m her mother and could NOT bare to see her face always bloody or her neck with deep scratches, knowing a young punk ass nigga was abusing her, and I was powerless to help.

As for my oldest daughter, even though she got dragged into it, she has never lost her ability to withhold verbal disrespect. So, she just disregarded the things that was brought up about her and continued to try to fix things happening with her two sisters. I will say this though about my oldest daughter, the two younger ones may be more verbally overbearing, but she and I have had three real bad fist fights, that left my pinky on my right hand deformed and she has put me out of her home, where I was helping with bills, to sleep on the streets four times. I’ll never EVER trust her in that aspect again. Usually three’s a charm. But, I got hurt for the fourth time believing in tainted family values. But, for the most part as long as I don’t have to depend on my oldest daughter for living arrangements we’re pretty cool. My son on the other hand is now and always has been very weird and disconnected from ALL of us girls, and to be honest it could very well be for all the right reasons. Too much Drama at every event. But, then too if that is the case, instead of standing on the outside looking in, maybe it’d behoove him to intervene and help us females iron out the many differences​ for the sake of the eleven babies coming behind us, which is my imperative reason for reaching out to you. Again I reiterate… Please help!!! Thanking you in advance​.

Strong Bonds​That HURT (((TEARS)))

My name is Paulette Williams, and I’m reaching out to you on the behalf of my family.  The entire family is dysfunctional for real and I’d like to see a change in that, but that’d take some time understandingly so. Therefore, my primary focus right about now is my immediate family, which consists of my four children and their eleven children.

As it stands, my two youngest daughters have severed ties with me after a family vacation this past week turned rather ugly, and hidden ill feelings reared its ugly head, causing complete chaos. No one actually became physical, but the end result was the police having to be called to mediate certain situations to the best of their abilities, but still upholding the law, with advice to each of us to seek out legal help for many unresolved financial issues.

A little history: Since the age of 15 I began raising my children alone, with absolutely no help from their fathers, all four different, which was something I was always shameful about and another thing I constantly discouraged for my three daughters. I repetitively used my many mistakes as points of reference for the way I did not want them to follow, seeing as though my adolescent and beginning adult years was filled with several arrests, alcohol, drugs, mental illnesses, suicide attempts, multiple marriages and reconstructive surgeries, that came about because of my ways, attitude, disposition, actions and crazy reactions.

After my last jail stay, I took a good look at these new little faces joining our lineage (MY gorgeous grandbabies), and I vowed to myself to be a BETTER mother and grandmother (The expected Echelon/Matriarch) that I should’ve been from start. I took the initiative to go back to college and I finally received my certificate in Medical Assistance and I secured a prominent position for a wonderful OB/GYN and together we successfully ran both her offices at two of the best hospitals in Washington, DC, and this was my way of life and something positive being modeled in front of them for some time, until I came down with Sciatica and had to have emergency surgery, which inadvertently landed me on disability. In the interim I continued to profess my Faith in God and they too followed my lead, and I’m ever so thankful for that, because it kept my family strong and bonded.

Before long, SSI help became inadequate, as the cost of living increased from year to year. So, I obtained a Ticket to Work, and became gainfully employed by the United States Postal Service, where all three of my daughters followed my lead, but eventually resigned unadvisable, and it seems like things have been rough for all of us since then.

Speed forward: Due to all the time I wasted either from being incarcerated, in mental institutions, totally drunk or high, away from my babies I never was able to do anything nice for them. So, I bought us a timeshare, that we all could utilize either individually or as a family, and I own the eleventh week of each year, which happens to always fall in my second daughter’s birthday month, and it worked out perfect for the first year of her going down with her friends and family and my request was merely that the rest of us join sometime throughout the course of that week for a family gathering. I was ecstatic to give her this yearly gift, because she was one of my children who claimed to feel that she was the black sheep, and overlooked by me. Although I didn’t see this, I will attest to one thing. If it’s true that she’s been made to feel that way, in actuality it’s all deserving, seeing as she’s the one of my children that has always been outlandish and blatantly disrespectful to me and anyone else that tries to speak logic, rules, reality and constructive criticism to her.

Nonetheless, March 12, 2017 thru March 19, 2017 should’ve been a happy moment for our Lil family, but it was everything but that; it turned out to be a complete nightmare, with my baby daughter not even showing up, but sent her only daughter to me half packed, hair not done and in my opinion not properly fed, all for the sake of chasing a man who tried to kill her in her apartment bedroom, while her toddler baby lay asleep on the bed just steps away from the gunfire, not to mention he kidnapped her baby, torturing her by repetitively threatening that he was gonna kill her Mommy SMH. There was a stay away order in place between them, that my daughter illegally allowed him to break, by willingly letting him come back around her and her daughter, not even considering the fact that this man still indulges in illicit drugs and drinks regularly, which can cause him to snap again. Had me and my husband not been present to help her and the baby out of the unfortunate predicament, my thoughts are that they’d both probably be dead. Her reasons for “cutting me off” is because of my threats, (out of frustration), to report her to Child Protection, in an effort to forcefully get my granddaughter out of harm’s way. Perhaps I did appear to be mean by saying that, but I felt I was left with no other option, seeing as she’s 23 and totally disregarded my motherly advice to never see him again or at least not allow him anywhere around the baby. I had gotten her a rental car, because she now lives in Tennessee, and needed a better source of highway transportation to come to and from DC for visits. So, I thought about punishments that I use to implement when they were younger that worked and taking things from them that they really liked always got their attention, and brought about immediate change. So, I snatched the keys to the rental car, Praying that’d make her see how serious I was about her leaving that toxic man alone, but it caused her to hate me instead, and I come to find out that was because she no longer had her car, that’s been parked for five months, while she enjoyed the luxuries of the rentals, to resort to, because the prohibited man, during one of his many nights of rage flattened all four of her tires, and it’s gonna cost nearly $800 to get someone to professionally come to the car and remove each tire, change it from the rim, and reinstall them.

It would appear that she’d see all the things that this man has done to negatively impact her life and leave him on her own, but she turns the blind eye and deaf ears obviously. She has a permanent huge chunk missing from her abdomen, from where he bit her and ripped flesh away. On many occasions she has to be stuck for weeks leading into months with no phone, because he destroys them. After the mishap with her Post Office job, she went to school and was overjoyed at the fact that she secured her CNA license. After the shooting in her home and the terrible attack she endured, she had to be put on major medications to help get rid of flashbacks and nightmares, but she kept falling asleep while on patient watch, now once again she’s left jobless. I stressed to her to please see the culprit for all her downfalls to be this man, and do the right thing and separate herself from him at once. Lastly, about this particular daughter; I would hate for any before and after pics to be shown of her, with the comparison timeline being since the day she hooked up with him to present. It’d bring tears to your eyes, just as it does me being her mother and having to watch my babygirl self destruct; only because she’s reached the age of appropriation, and no longer has to abide by my rules. It crushes my heart to see how frail my child is now, face all sunken in, and her baby looks even worse, but every time I feel it’s my duty to get officials involved my two eldest children and other friends and family members say I’ll be doing the baby an injustice. Please help!!!

To add, back to the daughter I spoke about earlier, the one that felt a bit slighted by me years ago and still does now I’m sure, after this weeks horrible vacation. From a child all the way through to where we are today, she’s always been a very mean, rude, disloyal and obnoxious young lady, not only to me, but also to strangers, extended family and her own siblings, and she knows and apparently adores this about herself, even to the point that her nickname “Rudiist Bitch” was coined after her crudeness, something I hate with a passion and always tried to help her lose sight of to no avail.

But, the night things got blown out of proportion concerning my baby daughter, I made a statement that caused friction to transpire between us two, and I regret it, because she was actually trying to help me figure out a course of action for her younger sister. My oldest daughter asked a question about how I intended to handle the fact that I’d never be able to see or talk to my baby daughter and her child again, and my stupid reply was that I’d just start treating her as I had been doing my middle daughter “feeding her with a long handled spoon”. Instantly, my middle daughter went off, it was like a domino effect the entire night, even spilling over to my oldest daughter and my only son, who wasn’t even present. Certainly it was misplaced anger, that was definitely geared towards my baby daughter for how she left my granddaughter outside in the cold, to wait for her sister to bring her to me, while she rushed away back to this evil man she’s connected with, something she never would have done before meeting him.

But, my reasons for starting to deal with my middle daughter that way is because she was and still is involved in a way worse domestic violence relationship and she has four small babies who cringe at the sound of any raised voices, even if it’s in excitement during a sports game or we’re watching a boxing match. Her lip is disfigured and she has all types of permanent slits and cuts, that’s been stitched up from her crazed maniac. It’s nothing to walk in her home and find blood splatter everywhere and all the furniture flipped and broke. But, she never would adhere to my begging her to leave the unhealthy relationship, and even went a step further to simply tell me to mind my business, and just like with my baby daughter, I was encouraged not to contact the police, because the children may get the bitter end of the stick in the end. So, I just made up in my mind to stay away from them as much as possible. To her, that was the straw that broke the camel’s back, since she said she’d been trying to put a finger on why I’d been so distant. She decided if that was my initial thought pattern, let’s make it all the way official and indefinite. Not once did she consider the fact that I’m her mother and could NOT bare to see her face always bloody or her neck with deep scratches, knowing a young punk ass nigga was abusing her, and I was powerless to help.

As for my oldest daughter, even though she got dragged into it, she has never lost her ability to withhold verbal disrespect. So, she just disregarded the things that was brought up about her and continued to try to fix things happening with her two sisters. I will say this though about my oldest daughter, the two younger ones may be more verbally overbearing, but she and I have had three real bad fist fights, that left my pinky on my right hand deformed and she has put me out of her home, where I was helping with bills, to sleep on the streets four times. I’ll never EVER trust her in that aspect again. Usually three’s a charm. But, I got hurt for the fourth time believing in tainted family values. But, for the most part as long as I don’t have to depend on my oldest daughter for living arrangements we’re pretty cool. My son on the other hand is now and always has been very weird and disconnected from ALL of us girls, and to be honest it could very well be for all the right reasons. Too much Drama at every event. But, then too if that is the case, instead of standing on the outside looking in, maybe it’d behoove him to intervene and help us females iron out the many differences for the sake of the eleven babies coming behind us, which is my imperative reason for reaching out to you. Again I reiterate… Please help!!! Thanking you in advance.

Alert Alert Alert!!!

​Real IMPORTANT!!!
Either I’m a complete weirdo frfr… Or the WORLD did some crazy stuff with time… This imma bout to tell y’all is no lie!!! And I’m mentioning it to see if perhaps someone else experienced the same thing, and just thought they were losing their mind. 
I was driving home from a 1 pm appointment, that didn’t take no longer than 45 minutes, but it was a new Doctor and I had to use GPS to get to my house. I hit the Waze app and went to my saved address, put on my seatbelt and started to put the car in drive and realized it said I’d arrive at 8:39 pm… I mean the feeling that came over me was so eery; almost frightening!!!
I looked ALL around me and it was still bright outside, so I’m thinking to myself no way they had me in there ALL them hours and I just wasted time on IG and didn’t pay no attention… But, mind you it’s still very lit outside, which means it’s deftly before even five in the evening.
I got even more scared now, and I’m looking around honestly to see if others are moving normally and NOT zoned out like zombies… But, traffic all about me was flowing regular, so I assumed it was maybe a glitch in the app, but I happen to glance at my phone time, which is set according to my carries Network and surely it’d be accurate I assumed… Nope, it said 7:46 pm… I nearly lost it totally then!!!
I checked ALL my settings to make sure it didn’t somehow adjust while in my pocket, but it was just fine setting wise, but the displayed time was nearly five hours ahead. 
I sat there for a minute, and blamed the WHOLE uncertainty on the fact that I’ve been sleep deprived lately and decided as long as the directions would still get me home I’d proceed. Low and behold it did, and I’m safety here now, after running a few errands. But, what happened earlier just won’t leave me until I get some type of clarity.
I didn’t receive any medicines from the new Doctor that could’ve caused me to be kind of off in the brain… So, Prayerfully somebody else who has Boost had this happen to them today too, and I’ll go to bed feeling better SMH.

Watch “Pole dancing on da party bus” on YouTube

I’m really angered by all the harsh comments coming from non-factor mutha fuckaz ABOUT THIS old ass video on my fucking page!!! 1.) It’s my prerogative to put on My YouTube what the fuck I want, that’s why the ability to upload at leisure is allotted to each one individually. 2) The video is in Nooooooo way outta the ordinary or vulgar in the midst of the children and neither are they being exploited or encouraged to do no off DA wall wild geekin ass bullshit!!! I raised four fucking children of my own, and assisted in the rearing of ten grands. So, how da fuck would I look sitting back watching Lil ones self destruct??? 3.) Y’all look stupid as fuck reaching back in the past to pass judgement on my family; especially when it’s unwarranted and totally irrelevant, considering the shit was a few ticks ago SMH!!! Perhaps if you’d been THIS same cyber thug umpteen years ago you’d probably got a better me. But, since I think you’re just outlandishly being annoying, NOW y’all boutta get da worst curse out of your fucking miserable ass life… Leeeeggggggoooooo!!!

Seeing the world from MY point of view!!!

​Hate the way I’m feelin, pain killers in the cup… Pray to God I wanna end it seems I don’t believe in much!!!
Searchin’ for love in the wrong places… Now I’m givin’ up, suicide been contemplated, think I really had enough… I think I really had enough… Wanna believe all the lies that they told me, that they told me… Wanna believe all the lies that they told me, that they told me!!! 

PRAYERS PLEASE… I’m sooooo tired of being sick and TIRED!!!

​PLEASE Pray for Me, it never fails yearly that things start happening bad for me around THIS month and BEFORE you know it, I’m suicidal and getting my fuckin stomach pumped full of black coal SMH. 

I use to think my job would stop the horrible feelings or at least KEEP me from acting on the thought enough NOT to take the pills, but even that NO longer helps. Then the circle of life and things happening with my children and grandchildren mimicking what I experienced ALL my life is terrible in and of itself grrrrrrrhhhhhhh.

I’m sooooo upset that My babies can’t catch a break, it’s ALWAYS something or someone reaping havoc in our midst and it’s absolutely tooooo MUCH to bear!!! And I refuse to believe that it’s ONLY a mental illness that operates on me exactly in the same window year AFTER year; if that were the case I don’t think I’d be able to pinpoint exactly what things that’s occurring to MAKE me go off the deep end EVERY time. Some times in life things CAN appear one way, but literally NOT be as bad as perceived. However, that’s anything but TRUE for ME at THIS moment. I real CAN put a FACE on EACH aggravating culprit and it’s sickening and becoming a really overwhelming bother.

Sooooo HURT 😩😥😫😲😔😖😪

EVERY since I was a child it seems like people ALWAYS seem to do me bad, and it crushes me the most because it’s the ones I DO the most for SMH!!!

God, please get me to a place where I’m NOT holding grudges, but basically not having to depend on anyone. And in the interim teach me how to assertively say NO!!!

I’m actually one of the most caring people you’d EVER wanna meet. But, it appears that people are so focused on themselves and their agendas to recognize and respect TRUE and loyal reciprocation.

I’m so angry, because it’s about to get cold again, and I seem to be GOING back to my car to sleep for an undetermined length of time, just to KEEP my sanity grrrrrrrhhhhhhh… Please Pray my strength!!!

Angry @ Myself

​I’m almost scared to write this. But, I can’t shake it til it’s totally outta MY system.

Nonetheless, I’m trynna figure out JUST what type of person I am that makes EVERY aspect of my life sooooo unbearable SMH.

I can’t keep friends, because I ALWAYS seem to be standoffish; afraid of being HURT. So, I purposely fail to give it my ALL grrrrrrrhhhhhhh.

Honestly, I believe I do the same thing when it comes to potential significant others as well, and if this same obnoxious pattern continues I’ll unnecessarily go to MY grave a disheartened loner (((TEARS))).

At a certain point in my life I came to grips with the fact that the only people I’m comfortable allowing close to me is my children and grandchildren, and I was OK with that until they all got grown and NOW have children, careers, mates and friends of their own, meaning time spent with me is little to none DAMMIT!!!

What do I DO now??? My career is secure and for the most part of 5-6 days in each week I’m steady working hard and the predicament don’t have room to bother me. But, the evening comes, just as it always will, and I find myself in a downtrodden stupor… Jesus please take the wheel!!!

I never knew what it was like to be jealous over somebody else stealing your friend from you and you inadvertently hating that person until my last babygurl became her own woman and I could NO longer force her to be my confidant. The very thing I long for… Attention, affection, CARE, concern, sympathy, empathy and Love.

My family has long life spans and I give myself at least another 48 years here, and I’m going to have to figure out ways to be happy with the fact that my babies are now happy with others geeeesssshhhhh!!!