So frustrated smh 🤦🏽♀️ … Then to add insult to injury… There’s nuttin to watch on TV. Imma basket case, this has gotta stop dammit 😤
This insomnia is starting to affect the way I look, which has a detrimental impact on my ideation… Gotta pull myself together, but I’m clueless about the anecdote or remedy needed #notincontrol #outtacontrol #outofcontrol #desperate #please
#shootahdcpassion #CertifiedSTEPPAH #putemonnashirt4Passion #pluckemoff4passion #pressemout4passion
Today I’m so down in the dumps. I honestly thought I was over actual suicide attempts smh 🤦🏽♀️. Yes, I constantly suffer with ideation, but things feel different lately. Family is so busy, with their own affairs, which I respect; don’t get me wrong. However this right here –>> Family member desperately crying out for help Should have never happen.
Continue reading “152 Days… Jesus take the wheel 😩”The pic is my only son… He gave me my first granddaughter and she came out looking juuuuussssttttt like me… You talking about haaaappppyyyy!!! I was ecstatic 🙂 🙂 🙂 I Neeeeeevvvveeerr wanted to have favorites, but my babbbbbbyyyyyyyy boy was some kinda special to me lol, and he felt the same about his Mom also. Whenever I had to grocery shop, go to school or work, he would cry sooooooo hard for hours, and hold his breath til he turned blue geeeesssssshhhhh.
“Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.”
Just when I start doing good, my old fling, who broke EVERYTHING off with me wanna start contacting me again, buuuutttttt he’s clearly playing games SMH ggggrrrrrrhhhhhh. One minute we’re texting back to back. Then, all of a sudden it’s complete silence… I can’t take the emotional rollercoaster. Sooooooo I really prefer he refrain from bothering me EVER again in life… His unexplainable inconsistencies drives me up a wall, and only allows the devil an opportunity to play tricks on my mind… Like, Ohhhhh he had to stop texting because his girlfriend woke up and caught him. ALL of iiiiittttttttt is irritating… Just goooooooooooooooo, and leave me ALONE!!!
God is sooooooo good, I’m getting 32 hours this week, and I get to run Post 1 by myself again… That’s unexpected Blessings of elevation and gain at work. As I said before, the things they’re allowing me to do, I wasn’t even thinking about doing for probably nine to ten more years… Walking around with keys to Federal Government buildings… Woooooowwwwwwww 🙂 🙂 🙂 I’m waaaaaayyyyyyy tooooooo Blessed to EVER be stressed!!!
I was upset yesterday, I won’t lie!!! Because it seems like bad stuff keep coming out the woodwork… I read the pamphlet that said MAX 90 days at the shelter, and that had me in my feelings off the break, but I dealt with it, rules are rules, and I just planned to cross that bridge when I came to it, and I depended on only having to request two extensions, which I thought were good for a period of thirty day’s. Come to find out, the maximum stay has been switched to sixty days, and the extensions, if granted are only for two week increments at a time SMH… That just blew me terribly!!!
Buuuuuutttttttt, today is FREE YOUR MIND FRRRRRIIIIDDDDDAAAAAYYYYY and just as I express to you guys… Nothing is to bombard or overwhelm you today!!! Therefore, this possible upcoming trouble is merely a figment of my imagination!!!
Guys, I can tell when I’m doing things right in the eyes of my Heavenly Father, He’ll just have people walk up and hand me sympathy cards with money in them… I’m so overjoyed and THANKFUL, immediately I Pray for BIG/HUGE Blessings to fall upon each of them and their entire families. Especially the one who helped me today, because she was just crying until her eyes was stop sign red over some personal issues she was having… And yet she unselfishly gave to me… Praise, Honor and Glory to my Daddy, because ultimately it’s ALL Him… They’re just vessels He’s using.
From my Lil cousin: “Faith is not knowing what the future holds, but knowing WHO holds the future”
Therefore, Nooooooo matter what it looks like right now, as long as I keep my Faith in God; then my future is sho nuff Aiight!!! God’s in control of EVERY situation I’m not only going through now, but He’s already got whatever I’ll face tomorrow and for the days to come too 🙂 🙂 🙂 “No weapon formed against me shall EVER prosper” I’m a child of God, an heir of God and a joint heir with Christ Jesus!!!
No More murmuring and complaining, God knows what’s BEST for me and since I surrendered my ALL to Him, now the things that happen, family or not, is because He desires for it to.
When God can’t get your attention, because you’re too caught up in the craziness of life, he’ll do some sanctifying, right before your very eyes, and have you wondering what in the world is really going on!!!
No need for me to be overly upset about not being able to see my family, because when God has me exactly where He wants me, then the relationship between ALL of us will resume. But, I’ll be a better person, and much more able to be the role model they need to look up to. I can definitely appreciate that too, because they’ll listen to me when it comes to what’s Godly right to do, if I’m walking upright myself. But, if I’m off course they’re like “yeah right MA, are you serious” and they’re within their rights… A mother should purely practice what she Preaches!!!
This SECOND touch is going to be mighty and powerful!!! God won’t only restore to me what I once had, but rather EVERYTHING that’s coming to me this time around will be double for ALL my trouble 🙂
Feeling better today, looking forward to my meeting with my case manager, and Praying with everything in me that she has GOOD news. There’s a new company overseeing the shelter I’m in, and they’re said to have a 98% turn around rate for housing placement… yaaaaaayyyyyyyyyy 🙂 🙂 🙂
Being able to talk to a young lady last night really made me feel secure within, because she also suffered with mental illnesses, and could relate, on so many levels, to many of the things I’m going through. So, that helped deter my bitter feelings and crazed thoughts of suicide… Thank You Daddy.
In a nutshell, I MUST see the enemy in all my opposition, and realize that God’s bigger than any problem that could ever come my way!!! It may seem like my world is crumbling right before my eyes, but there’s actually good in that, because God can now work better with the pieces of me; rebuilding and remaking me into the proper image & person that replicates Jesus.
As for my job, so many other employees keep encouraging me that I’ll get an abundance of hours, because the holidays are right around the corner, and I shouldn’t in the least bit be worried… Therefore, That frustration and stress is out the window too!!!
I knew I’d be HAPPY today, the reflection of myself can be seen on the front of my phone while I’m conducting my presentations, and I was highly upset with the way all this craziness had me feeling and looking… Holding back tears, choking them up… Nope!!! I’m a KINGS kid… And no weapon formed against me shall prosper 🙂 He’s in control of the hub agreement, and will see to it that I get the hours I need and more… Also, He’s gonna open up doors for me for housing that man can’t close nor block the way.
A sister in Christ said to me just yesterday, that her Prayer for me is that God Blesses me with so much that I have enough to share, and when I do, everyone who receives will see God’s fingerprints on every inch of it… That thing sent chills all through my body, and I felt a quickening in my Spirit, because that’s exactly what’s gonna happen… God is a God that cannot and will not lie!!! So, when His Word says He’ll do exceedingly abundant above all we can ever ask or think… He’s gotta stand by that!!! Sooooooooo, look to witness a Hallelujah shouting Praise report really soon 🙂 🙂 🙂
Today is FREE YOUR MIND FRIDAY
Woke up to car GONE… You talkin bout FURIOUS!!!
“I lost the car“… Are you serious???
How your mates choice to indulge in illicit drugs creates unnecessary problems for the both of you.
Telling your grown children to live one way, but you settle for the things you’re trynna save them from… DOUBLE STANDARD
If you choose to put up with your mate… Don’t bagger them thereafter
Living with others is hard… Food issues arise, and everyone not buying household supplies… NOT FAIR
How my family is all of a sudden going through simultaneously SMH
My son’s up and coming rap career… My feelings about the uneasy content
How I want my children to get and keep my grandbabies before the face of God
How bad I want God to fall upon me on a daily basis… to help me serve Him correctly
We’re living in our last days… The signs are here… Get and/or keep yourself right in the eyes of God
My desires to be in full-time Ministry for the sake of my entire clan
Give God back His Word, He’s good to act on it, because He cannot and will not lie
Live a life of example in front of the youth around you, so that they’ll grow up successful
My husband trynna compare his wrongdoings with K2 to my old alcohol issues… Not the same!!!
WE CAN DO IT WEDNESDAY continued…
Worked ONLY 2 1/2 – 3 hours SMH
Don’t EEEEVVVEEEERRRR fake sick… It’ll definitely come back to bite ya in the rumpelstiltskin
Enraged at how my (thought to be) good deed was so insignificant… gggggggggrrrrrrrrrrrrrrhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!
Be careful dealing with banks, colleges, and I’ll go as far as to say that FAFSA is suspect.
Why am I still holding a FRAUDULENT check, nobody thought it to be serious enough to send anyone out… just horrible.
Day went left real quick… My manager went from 0 to 100 lol!!!
Get covered by the Union guys… They’re your safety net
Learn the rules about your rights to take off and leave work early multiple times in a specific time frame.
Da UGLY Ducklin -IN DA LIFE OF PASSION 