From March 30, 2014

Before walking in to work, I was vexed in my spirit because the word “capsize” continued to maneuver through my brain. Instantly, I looked the word up, to obtain a better understanding of what, if anything, God was trynna show me, but the definition was disheartening and scary; so I prayed for EVERYONE then posted my Lil warning… Nonetheless, I still didn’t feel the settling within that I expected or shall I say like what normally occurs following intercession… That comfort that overcomes me, reassuring me that all is well. However, I proceeded on, setting up my work station, entrusting all to my Father… Then, a small still voice spoke “your life” I’m like huh??? Again, He reiterated “YOUR LIFE, and went on to express to me that my life is getting ready to flip for the better… Everything about me has to and will change… Not as time passes on… Ohhhhh no my dear, you don’t have that type of time… You have known about your calling since 1993 but never hearkened… No, I won’t force Myself upon you, for I’m a gentleman at best. But, know that I have work for you to do and it’s NOT optional”!!!

On any other day, this experience would have scared me outta my wits… But, God is a God of order, and disarray fits no where in His schema… Therefore, His omniscient powers already for seen this turn of events, and He had me prepared… For the past three days, there’s been no Drake, Sevyn Streeter nor Lil Wayne bumping through my Bluetooth, instead, I’ve been eating good from none other than Bishop T.D. Jakes, and his messages have all been flowing in the direction God needed me to trod.

Even writing about it now I can feel God’s presence and His fresh anointing is ever so near and comforting… I love You Daddy, and I thank You for Your patience, grace and mercy that’s always shown evident in my life… Even down to the generation that my grand babies are living out now… You talking bout AWESOME; there’s absolutely NONE like You, and most definitely, I say yes to Your will and way for our lives… All 16 of us… To include (My four and their eleven) ๐Ÿ’“

I’m homeless – counting my Blessings, and naming them 1 by 1… Never desolate!!!

So, here is the mom of that Lil laughing baby… This is my youngest daughter, and the Lol babygirl is her only.

Sooooooo excited, I went to Bible Study last night!!! The teaching really hit home for me… Encouraging me to keep on working. With ALL the chaos and inconsistencies, I honestly considered going back to disability, just to keep a leveled head. Buuuuuutttttttt, God already gave me the answer on that one SMH… And I’m glad He said Nooooooo frfr, because I’m not one for laying around and being lazy. That’s why my children are probably hiding out from me lol, because they know the drill is coming to any one of them that’s not on somebody’s payroll or an entrepreneur.

I almost got myself in trouble again at work today, and once you hear the story you gon be like “girl, I would’ve rung your neck myself if I’d been there ggggrrrrrrhhhhhh”!!!

I’m homeless, and nobody cares but God… Neeeeeevvvveeerr seen this day coming!!!

I had to steal this from my niece’s Facebook wall: “If someone sticks by your side through your worst times, they’re the ones who deserve to be with you through your BEST times.”

That’s sooooooo true and exactly what I needed to hear today. One of my daughters didn’t feel it necessary to come by for my visit to DC and I haven’t seen her or my granddaughter in a long time SMH.

My son said maybe three words to me, then went on about his life… Geeeesssssshhhhh!!! You talking bout tears… This thing is horrible.

My middle daughter said the most to me and ALL four of her babies brought out a great big ole smile on my face.

My oldest daughter came out to get her money and went on back to doing what she was doing… Wow this is like overkill!!!

I really looked forward to this day for about a week, thinking today would be the day we’d all make amends. But, I guess they’re better off without me. So, I’ll leave them be. I gotta come up once a month to grocery shop and I’ll just Pray each time that it eventually gets easier, and I don’t have to drive back so sad.

How in the world is this in God’s plan, not that I’m questioning His authority. But, I have no clue what in the world is going on, I can’t imagine life with absolutely Nooooooo family SMH… This can’t be real, and I Neeeeeevvvveeerr dreamed of being a parent who abandoned her children. But what do I do???

I’m homeless, but not in despair… Trusting God against ALL odds!!!

Things got a little hectic, but I didn’t allow it to break me. A few unexpected obstacles showed face, and each time I merely drew closer to my Heavenly Father. It’s not about what I see, but rather WHO I know!!

I felt sooooooo bad, but that mustard seed Faith, that I Neeeeeevvvveeerr understood kept me pushing!!!

I surrendered my all to Him, and these small set backs don’t change NOTHING ๐Ÿ™‚ ๐Ÿ™‚ ๐Ÿ™‚

EVERYTHING works together for the GOOD for them who love Him and are the called according to His purpose. Therefore, I’m ALL in, ย “use me Lord, until You’ve used me up.

Da Ugly Ducklin – The Transparent Me 8/7/15 (DAY 19)

Today is FREE YOUR MIND FRIDAY

Woke up to car GONE… You talkin bout FURIOUS!!!

I lost the car“… Are you serious???

How your mates choice to indulge in illicit drugs creates unnecessary problems for the both of you.

Telling your grown children to live one way, but you settle for the things you’re trynna save them from… DOUBLE STANDARD

If you choose to put up with your mate… Don’t bagger them thereafter

Living with others is hard… Food issues arise, and everyone not buying household supplies… NOT FAIR

How my family is all of a sudden going through simultaneously SMH

My son’s up and coming rap career… My feelings about the uneasy content

How I want my children to get and keep my grandbabies before the face of God

How bad I want God to fall upon me on a daily basis… to help me serve Him correctly

We’re living in our last days… The signs are here… Get and/or keep yourself right in the eyes of God

My desires to be in full-time Ministry for the sake of my entire clan

Give God back His Word, He’s good to act on it, because He cannot and will not lie

Live a life of example in front of the youth around you, so that they’ll grow up successful

My husband trynna compare his wrongdoings with K2 to my old alcohol issues…ย Not the same!!!

Da Ugly Ducklin – The Transparent Me 8/6/15 (DAY 18)

WE CAN DO IT WEDNESDAY continued…

Worked ONLY 2 1/2 – 3 hours SMH

Don’t EEEEVVVEEEERRRR fake sick… It’ll definitely come back to bite ya in the rumpelstiltskin

Enraged at how my (thought to be) good deed was so insignificant… gggggggggrrrrrrrrrrrrrrhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!

Be careful dealing with banks, colleges, and I’ll go as far as to say that FAFSA is suspect.

Why am I still holding a FRAUDULENT check, nobody thought it to be serious enough to send anyone out… just horrible.

Day went left real quick… My manager went from 0 to 100 lol!!!

Get covered by the Union guys… They’re your safety net

Learn the rules about your rights to take off and leave work early multiple times in a specific time frame.