148 Days… Nothing beats a failure but a TRY πŸ˜πŸ’―πŸ₯°πŸ’‹πŸ˜˜

Today has been very productive, and I gotta thank all who’ve been Praying for and with me for almost a week now, since I began this unwarranted countdown, and most certainly I thank You Daddy, for hearing our Prayers, and slowly but surely bringing me out of the sunken place, that had me bound… Yes, I can refer to it in the past tense, because I’m believing God for a total miraculous breakthrough, to the point where, even the lingering ideation disappears for good!!! I claim it, believe it, and so SHALL receive it.

All the good things that happen for me today, reassures me, that there’s definitely POWER in Prayer; especially Prayer in numbers. I started to have some cigarette withdrawal jitters earlier, and was about to give in to the cravings, and rush out to buy a fresh pack, but God said… Ohhhhh no you won’t, and He reminded me of my nicotine transdermal patches, that were just stored up for this type of emergency 🀩 #ThankYou Jesus, You’re the BEST πŸ₯°… I did awesome in my workout sessions for today, I noticed that I was able to push myself further than before #Hallelujah πŸ’–… Pandora was on fire πŸ”₯πŸ”₯πŸ”₯ earlier, once Bacc Seat came on, my lil legs was getting it lol πŸ˜‚… I had to slow myself down, so I wouldn’t gas out so fast πŸ˜΅β€πŸ’«πŸ˜©πŸ€ͺ

I stopped for a while, and baked myself some fish, covered in sautΓ©ed onions, butter and lemon juice πŸ‘Œ, with some sweet corn on the side, and some good ole kool-aid, then I was back to the races… I started with Body, thank God it’s slow paced, cause I was stuffed and sluggish… So, I took my time in the beginning, but before I knew it Ballin came on, and once again my legs was going so fast, I most certainly could’ve beat the greatest marathon runner of all times lol πŸ˜‚ lls 🀣… I’m just so ecstatic that my mood has improved significantly… God knows how grateful I am to each of you, who have supported me; some of you, for many many years, have been here since I created this site, and was going through all types of turmoil, you never left me, and always sent me great words of encouragement, and I appreciate it, really I do 😘

Today, when I realized how happy I was, of course I thanked God, for even giving me the presence of mind, to get back on my site and reach out for help. Just imagine, had I missed Him leading and guiding me, I wouldn’t be moving in the right direction, towards healing, and just may have gotten so frustrated, that I could have acted on my suicidal thoughts sooner than I planned smh πŸ€¦πŸ½β€β™€οΈ… But, God makes nooooo mistakes 😜… Also, while pondering on my blissful feelings, I thought about my future, and the things that I need to began to work towards, in order for me to have a long lasting span of happiness, and I remembered my Pastor always said that we should Pray specifically, not merely trivial. So, I mustered up the courage, to ask God for a handsome, God fearing, intelligent man, who don’t cheat, don’t hit women, loves to travel, loves children (I have 14 grandchildren and 1 great grand), loving my babies just like I do is a MUST πŸ₯°… I’m retired, but I want to be either a radio personality, social media influencer or start a record label, music is my life, not to mention all the talent in my family. But, I want my mate to be like minded, and desire one or all of the things I’m interested in, not to be selfish, as if everything has to revolve around me and my wants… Absolutely not!!! Just compatible and able to work together on our endeavors as a team. “Team work makes the dream work”

Welp, it’s time to relax and this is when I get bored and the racing thoughts began to drive me nuts grrrhhhh 😩… I’m scared to make and take my famous OTC cocktail, after it gave me the night terrors, that I experienced the other night shewww lawd… That was scccaaarrryyy πŸ‘€πŸ‘€πŸ‘€. But, I honestly think until I find an online support group, I’ll have to keep self medicating, in an effort to rid myself of mental torment. BTW, if any of you know of a site, that posts about good movies, please fly me in… “Put me in the game coach” lol πŸ˜‚… As always, I love you guys to the moon and back and once again thank you so freekin much ttyl πŸ’£πŸ’–πŸ€©

#PaulettePassionWilliams #PauletteWilliams #shootahdcpassion #CertifiedSTEPPAH #putemonnashirt4Passion #pluckemoff4passion #pressemout4passion

152 Days… Jesus take the wheel πŸ˜©

Today I’m so down in the dumps. I honestly thought I was over actual suicide attempts smh πŸ€¦πŸ½β€β™€οΈ. Yes, I constantly suffer with ideation, but things feel different lately. Family is so busy, with their own affairs, which I respect; don’t get me wrong. However this right here –>> Family member desperately crying out for help Should have never happen.

Continue reading “152 Days… Jesus take the wheel πŸ˜©”

I’m homeless, but my Father says… He plans to prosper me, no harm; rather give me Hope & a Future!!!

The pic is my oldest grandson, my oldest daughter’s son, you’ll meet his brother tomorrow and his Mom and Lil sister soon.

“I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

The pic is my oldest grandson, my oldest daughter’s son, you’ll meet his brother tomorrow and his Mom and Lil sister soon.God is GOOD, and I spent yesterday getting a chance to really look back on ALL the things He so Graciously saved me from… All the times I crazily put myself in harms way and He continually brought me out… Thank You Daddy πŸ™‚

I’ve ALWAYS asked God why in the world He chose me to work for Him, when I was the worst one of my Mother’s seven children, and the other’s appeared to be a perfect fit for anything He needed done… They were more suttle and calm spirited, unlike me. But, His wants is all that matters, and I still say YEEEEESSSSSSS… Nooooooo matter the cost.

Once you surrender to God, there is no picking and choosing what you’ll allow Him to do through, for and with you… Obedience is better than sacrifice. Therefore, adhere and harken unto His calls!!!

Da Ugly Ducklin – The Transparent Me 8/7/15 (DAY 19)

Today is FREE YOUR MIND FRIDAY

Woke up to car GONE… You talkin bout FURIOUS!!!

I lost the car“… Are you serious???

How your mates choice to indulge in illicit drugs creates unnecessary problems for the both of you.

Telling your grown children to live one way, but you settle for the things you’re trynna save them from… DOUBLE STANDARD

If you choose to put up with your mate… Don’t bagger them thereafter

Living with others is hard… Food issues arise, and everyone not buying household supplies… NOT FAIR

How my family is all of a sudden going through simultaneously SMH

My son’s up and coming rap career… My feelings about the uneasy content

How I want my children to get and keep my grandbabies before the face of God

How bad I want God to fall upon me on a daily basis… to help me serve Him correctly

We’re living in our last days… The signs are here… Get and/or keep yourself right in the eyes of God

My desires to be in full-time Ministry for the sake of my entire clan

Give God back His Word, He’s good to act on it, because He cannot and will not lie

Live a life of example in front of the youth around you, so that they’ll grow up successful

My husband trynna compare his wrongdoings with K2 to my old alcohol issues…Β Not the same!!!

Da Ugly Ducklin – The Transparent Me 8/6/15 (DAY 18)

WE CAN DO IT WEDNESDAY continued…

Worked ONLY 2 1/2 – 3 hours SMH

Don’t EEEEVVVEEEERRRR fake sick… It’ll definitely come back to bite ya in the rumpelstiltskin

Enraged at how my (thought to be) good deed was so insignificant… gggggggggrrrrrrrrrrrrrrhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!

Be careful dealing with banks, colleges, and I’ll go as far as to say that FAFSA is suspect.

Why am I still holding a FRAUDULENT check, nobody thought it to be serious enough to send anyone out… just horrible.

Day went left real quick… My manager went from 0 to 100 lol!!!

Get covered by the Union guys… They’re your safety net

Learn the rules about your rights to take off and leave work early multiple times in a specific time frame.

Da Ugly Ducklin – The Transparent Me 8/4/15 (DAY 16)

Today is TALK ABOUT IT TUESDAY

Master RESET again??? What the heck is going on with my phone… Hackers or nah?

Hair FINALLY on #fleek

Hubby back home SMH… I never got a chance to put him out and thank God I didn’t, because he’s WORKING yyyyyyyyyyyyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!

  • More money
  • Move quicker
  • No K2 smoked… Thank You Daddy.

Feeling awfully strange in my spirit… Sum just ain’t right. Can’t pinpoint it yet, but I’m feeling sum type of way 😦 😦 😦

Trust God to run your marriage… Breadwinners are NOT in control.

Prayers pay off, again I reiterate that!

Never fight against mandatory change

Do what God says no matter the cost

Personal ad (Possible Disaster)

Testimony may lead to Tricky Tracking #