Watch “Dauglyducklin.org presents Naked & UNAFRAID (4/22/19 – 1)” on YouTube

Thinking back, allowing myself to be isolated, like I have been for the past week, would have driven me bonkers. But God!!! There’s a huge important difference, between isolation and CONSECRATION, and I pick the latter, for 200 Steve ๐Ÿ‘Œ๐Ÿ’—๐Ÿ’ž๐Ÿ™๐Ÿ’‹๐Ÿ’–๐Ÿ™Œ๐Ÿ’•โค๏ธ๐Ÿ‘

It’s now or never, point blank #PERIODTT, and I wholeheartedly say Yes Lord, have Your way in, through and with me, for all else has failed, and I’m finally convinced, that You are, the Way, Truth and the Light, and no man shall make it to the Father, but by You.

NO MORE running, I surrender my everything to You, and I’m readily available, to be used as Your vessel, just lead, guide and direct me, according to Your Righteous plan for my life. Wash me, and make me whole, purge me with hissop, and I shall be clean, bridle my tongue, and go into the inner most parts of me, and REMOVE any and everything, that’s not right and like You!!!

No, it won’t be an overnight transition, and I may fall 1,000 more times, before I’ll get it right, but just know, that it’s my earnest desire, to walk upright before You, and turn from my wicked ways. I’m beyond thankful, for Your Grace and Mercy, which are both new for me each day, and I come now, with a repented heart and a made up mind, to please You, from here on out, in all that I do and say… Please take now, and keep total control, of my entire being, and direct me, down Your path, that leads to eternal Peace, Love, Happiness and Joy… Hallelujah and Amen ๐Ÿ’ฏ๐Ÿ’ฏ๐Ÿ’ฏ

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Watch “Put UR Yes God Into ACTION… Nothing Beats A Failure But A TRY… Keep Having MUSTARD SEED FAITH” on YouTube

Put UR Yes God Into ACTION

Hey P-Duds,

Always remember, nothing beats a failure but a TRY!!! I just keep finding myself giving up on trying to VLog, because I can’t for the life of me seem to get it right ๐Ÿ˜ข๐Ÿ˜ข๐Ÿ˜ข๐Ÿ˜ฒ๐Ÿ˜ฒ๐Ÿ˜ฒ๐Ÿ˜ต๐Ÿ˜ต๐Ÿ˜ต๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ But, THIS TIME, I’m determined not to fall away grrrrhhhh… Even this video ๐Ÿ“น ๐Ÿ“ธ๐Ÿ“ท๐ŸŽž๏ธ๐Ÿ“ฝ๏ธ I’m boutta upload, the dang music ๐ŸŽถ ๐ŸŽต๐ŸŽค๐ŸŽผis too freekin loud ๐Ÿ”Š๐Ÿ”Š๐Ÿ”Š๐ŸŽง๐ŸŽง๐ŸŽง again, and I’m like God do I keep giving Your people crappy work, just to feel as though I’m being obedient or should I just wait until I get the funds necessary to hire a professional smh… Decisions DECISIONS ๐Ÿ‘Š๐Ÿฟ๐Ÿ‘Š๐Ÿฟ๐Ÿ‘Š๐Ÿฟ

I be thinking I have discernment, but that can’t be, if I’m still wrestling within. But, enough murmuring… In the video, I make mention of Miracle Man, a highly anointed man of God, who my children and I had the pleasure of meeting, and was Blessed with his testimony… There’s no doubt that God’s Word says “We’re overcome by our testimonies” and His intentions are for us to transparently reveal the things that we went through, and give Him the Praise for how He brought us through… I get that, and I’m honestly and earnestly all in for the long haul… I’m just upset that it’s not quality QUALITY ๐Ÿ˜ž๐Ÿ˜ž๐Ÿ˜ž

Watch “KILL SUICIDE NOT YOURSELF… SEEK HELP… PLEASE TALK TO SOMEONE… GOD GOT US… YOU ARE NOT ALONE” on YouTube

KILL SUICIDE NOT YOURSELF

Hey P-Duds,

Sooooo, I’m back again with another video ๐Ÿ“น ๐Ÿ“ธ๐Ÿ“ท๐Ÿ“ฝ๏ธ๐ŸŽž๏ธ where I’ve fused together a couple of my beginning videos, from nearly 4 years ago, where I was introducing to you guys the PASSIONS that God laid on my heart, whilst showing me how He intends to use everything I’ve ever experienced in life, that I thought to be overly horrific, for His good. Now, I’m no professional at this editing thing smh, so you’ll see that the transitions are not as good as Warner Brothers and Paramount lol ๐Ÿ˜‚ ๐Ÿ˜‚ ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜ต๐Ÿ˜ต๐Ÿ˜ต ๐Ÿ˜ฒ ๐Ÿ˜ฒ ๐Ÿ˜ฒ but don’t judge me ๐Ÿ‘Š๐Ÿฟ๐Ÿ‘Š๐Ÿฟ๐Ÿ‘Š๐Ÿฟ#PERIODTT

In the videos, I’m discussing the app that I wanna some day implement, where one would actually be able to click into a live session with a Prayer Warrior, who’ll deter them from the final mistake of suicide and get their mind back on the right track, and help them realize that life actually IS worth living after all, because that’s exactly how I always feel days, weeks or months later, after an attempt, and I’m happily amongst family and enjoying every single ounce of everything different, that each one of them has to bring to my life, from the crazy dances that all my grandchildren do, to the funny clapbacks that show forth in hellah large family group texts, right on down to my oldest daughter, who everybody knows to be the most hilarious of us all #nocap, and her capabilities to mimic anybody on the face of this earth, and keep the entire room falling outta their chairs cracking their sides… Sometimes literally โšฐ๏ธโšฐ๏ธโšฐ๏ธโšฑ๏ธโšฑ๏ธโšฑ๏ธnah, I’m just kidding, but Sus most certainly got dis comedian thing down pact.

But, more importantly, is the text I received about the 2 mothers, who both threw their babies from high places and then jumped themselves… That thing ran all through me and it just shows that suicide awareness and prevention is definitely necessary, and I gotta stop procrastinating, and get into gear, doing whatever I can to build Alone NO MORE, so that we’re readily available for all that’s in need.

Watch “Alone NO MORE 1…Suicide prevention and awareness. We shall live and not die. Peace BE STILL ๐Ÿ™๐Ÿ˜‡๐Ÿ™” on YouTube

Alone NO MORE 1

Hey P-Duds,

We’re finally tapping into one of the segments that fall under Da Ugly Ducklin that really really hits home with me, and will always be a subject/topic that is fragile, in my opinion, and I feel the need to cradle it, just as I did every single newborn I birthed.

Alone NO MORE is geared towards suicide prevention and awareness first and foremost, but of course you can’t just eat all the icing and throw away the cake; uhhhhhhhh it’s a package deal #nocap, and for that reason we’ll broadly integrate mental health issues, treatment and the likes as well

Please please please please please be on point guys, as it relates to friends and family members, who are suffering with any of the underlying problems, regardless of whether or not you feel that they just want attention… Of course they do duhhhhhhh #staywoke and do any and everything in your power to cater to their needs when and wherever they summons you… Their life depends on it #PERIODTT

Watch “The Transparent ME – Enquiring Minds Wanna Know – Everything At The Forefront… No holding back!!!” on YouTube

The Transparent ME 1

Hey P-Duds,

So, we’re on day 2, and as promised, I’m giving it to you RAW!!! This VLog takes us back to my website, dauglyducklin.org, and into the mind of PASSION, from 2014, when I transitioned from mere blogging to VLogging, and my first post was really short, on July 9, 2014, where I gave a verse, concerning God’s desire for marriage, and I added “So Into You” by Fabolous and Tamia. But, I am totally clueless as to what drove me to pick that song smh… Or exactly what my mind was focused on at that moment. Nevertheless, The Transparent ME is where we’ll go deep deep into the craziness that PASSION has endured for the past 19 years… To include, but most certainly not limited to dealing with the whirlwind of roller-coaster emotions and chaos, that’s a reflection of my suffering from multiple mental health issues, several bouts of homelessness, that my psychiatrist simply writes off as “THE NORM” for (people like me)… Dafuq?!?!? What is that supposed to mean… Okkkkkrrrrrrtttttt, doc Imma let that slide, sense you got all them lil cute degrees hanging up on that wall behind you, because frfr you’re more than likely right, now that I think ๐Ÿค” about it grrrrrrhhhhh, I am a humdinger at times, and I’m almost positive I do da most, soooooo I probably had a few temper tantrums, that aided in my being unfortunately displaced #THANKCHU. Also, we’ll delve into my many near death experiences #getdastrap, my need for 3 reconstructive surgeries geeeesssshhhh and I’ll elaborate on my horrible war wounds and 14 suicide attempts. Strap your seat belts, sit back, and enjoy the ride, we’re in a caravan, on a mind blowing road trip, traveling down the path of unpaved tar of “The Life of PASSION”… Stay tuned and ENJOY ๐Ÿ‘Œ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜ต๐Ÿ˜ฒ๐Ÿ™๐Ÿ’—๐Ÿ’ž๐Ÿ’‹๐Ÿ’–๐Ÿ‘

Angry @ Myself

โ€‹I’m almost scared to write this. But, I can’t shake it til it’s totally outta MY system.

Nonetheless, I’m trynna figure out JUST what type of person I am that makes EVERY aspect of my life sooooo unbearable SMH.

I can’t keep friends, because I ALWAYS seem to be standoffish; afraid of being HURT. So, I purposely fail to give it my ALL grrrrrrrhhhhhhh.

Honestly, I believe I do the same thing when it comes to potential significant others as well, and if this same obnoxious pattern continues I’ll unnecessarily go to MY grave a disheartened loner (((TEARS))).

At a certain point in my life I came to grips with the fact that the only people I’m comfortable allowing close to me is my children and grandchildren, and I was OK with that until they all got grown and NOW have children, careers, mates and friends of their own, meaning time spent with me is little to none DAMMIT!!!

What do I DO now??? My career is secure and for the most part of 5-6 days in each week I’m steady working hard and the predicament don’t have room to bother me. But, the evening comes, just as it always will, and I find myself in a downtrodden stupor… Jesus please take the wheel!!!

I never knew what it was like to be jealous over somebody else stealing your friend from you and you inadvertently hating that person until my last babygurl became her own woman and I could NO longer force her to be my confidant. The very thing I long for… Attention, affection, CARE, concern, sympathy, empathy and Love.

My family has long life spans and I give myself at least another 48 years here, and I’m going to have to figure out ways to be happy with the fact that my babies are now happy with others geeeesssshhhhh!!!

In need of HELP

Hello,

My name is Paulette Williams and I work daily for USPS and have my own means of transportation. However, as of May 31, 2016 my husband and I will need a place to stay. I canโ€™t afford much, but Iโ€™m willing to pay our way. We will take a basement, single room, RV, or even a shed.

It’s a FAMILY AFFAIR!!!

The pic is my only son’s baby son. He’s actually in the the Vlog, and he made sure to give a shout out to his Father for being a well known rapper from Washington DC… I thought that was sooooooo cute.

God is AWESOME, and actually got two of my three daughters to come to Church today and six of my grandchildren… I have not stopped smiling since they arrived.

My daughter had to finish off my hair, which turned out beautiful… and while she did I cooked up some good ole chicken that was mouth watering good… ALL the adults was licking their fingers and complementing me, and that just made my smilitis worse lol.

I was sooooooo haaaappppyyyy about the message God sent their way, because they were really captivated and listening. Therefore, I’m convinced that they’re not too far off from God’s Grace, and it won’t take much to reel them back in.

My son, in the other hand, will just have to come on his own, as God speaks to his heart. My daughter said don’t force him, because he’ll simply reject it more and more each time, to the point where he may start avoiding me altogether. But, Prayer changes things and God is ultimately in control and can get my son’s attention way far better than I EVER could… So, patiently I await!!!

Optimism intensifies perseverance… I’m Homeless, but God’s got a plan!!!

Feeling better today, looking forward to my meeting with my case manager, and Praying with everything in me that she has GOOD news. There’s a new company overseeing the shelter I’m in, and they’re said to have a 98% turn around rate for housing placement… yaaaaaayyyyyyyyyy ๐Ÿ™‚ ๐Ÿ™‚ ๐Ÿ™‚

Being able to talk to a young lady last night really made me feel secure within, because she also suffered with mental illnesses, and could relate, on so many levels, to many of the things I’m going through. So, that helped deter my bitter feelings and crazed thoughts of suicide… Thank You Daddy.

In a nutshell, I MUSTย see the enemy in all my opposition, and realize that God’s bigger than any problem that could ever come my way!!! It may seem like my world is crumbling right before my eyes, but there’s actually good in that, because God can now work better with the pieces of me; rebuilding and remaking me into the proper image & person that replicates Jesus.

As for my job, so many other employees keep encouraging me that I’ll get an abundance of hours, because the holidays are right around the corner, and I shouldn’t in the least bit be worried… Therefore, That frustration and stress is out the window too!!!

I knew I’d be HAPPY today, the reflection of myself can be seen on the front of my phone while I’m conducting my presentations, and I was highly upset with the way all this craziness had me feeling and looking… Holding back tears, choking them up… Nope!!! I’m a KINGS kid… And no weapon formedย  against me shall prosper ๐Ÿ™‚ He’s in control of the hub agreement, and will see to it that I get the hours I need and more… Also, He’s gonna open up doors for me for housing that man can’t close nor block the way.

A sister in Christ said to me just yesterday, that her Prayer for me is that God Blesses me with so much that I have enough to share, and when I do, everyone who receives will see God’s fingerprints on every inch of it… That thing sent chills all through my body, and I felt a quickening in my Spirit, because that’s exactly what’s gonna happen… God is a God that cannot and will not lie!!! So, when His Word says He’ll do exceedingly abundant above all we can ever ask or think… He’s gotta stand by that!!! Sooooooooo, look to witness a Hallelujah shouting Praise report really soon ๐Ÿ™‚ ๐Ÿ™‚ ๐Ÿ™‚

Da Ugly Ducklin – The Transparent Me 8/7/15 (DAY 19)

Today is FREE YOUR MIND FRIDAY

Woke up to car GONE… You talkin bout FURIOUS!!!

I lost the car“… Are you serious???

How your mates choice to indulge in illicit drugs creates unnecessary problems for the both of you.

Telling your grown children to live one way, but you settle for the things you’re trynna save them from… DOUBLE STANDARD

If you choose to put up with your mate… Don’t bagger them thereafter

Living with others is hard… Food issues arise, and everyone not buying household supplies… NOT FAIR

How my family is all of a sudden going through simultaneously SMH

My son’s up and coming rap career… My feelings about the uneasy content

How I want my children to get and keep my grandbabies before the face of God

How bad I want God to fall upon me on a daily basis… to help me serve Him correctly

We’re living in our last days… The signs are here… Get and/or keep yourself right in the eyes of God

My desires to be in full-time Ministry for the sake of my entire clan

Give God back His Word, He’s good to act on it, because He cannot and will not lie

Live a life of example in front of the youth around you, so that they’ll grow up successful

My husband trynna compare his wrongdoings with K2 to my old alcohol issues…ย Not the same!!!

Da Ugly Ducklin – The Transparent Me 8/6/15 (DAY 18)

WE CAN DO IT WEDNESDAY continued…

Worked ONLY 2 1/2 – 3 hours SMH

Don’t EEEEVVVEEEERRRR fake sick… It’ll definitely come back to bite ya in the rumpelstiltskin

Enraged at how my (thought to be) good deed was so insignificant… gggggggggrrrrrrrrrrrrrrhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!

Be careful dealing with banks, colleges, and I’ll go as far as to say that FAFSA is suspect.

Why am I still holding a FRAUDULENT check, nobody thought it to be serious enough to send anyone out… just horrible.

Day went left real quick… My manager went from 0 to 100 lol!!!

Get covered by the Union guys… They’re your safety net

Learn the rules about your rights to take off and leave work early multiple times in a specific time frame.

Da Ugly Ducklin – The Transparent Me 8/4/15 (DAY 16)

Today is TALK ABOUT IT TUESDAY

Master RESET again??? What the heck is going on with my phone… Hackers or nah?

Hair FINALLY on #fleek

Hubby back home SMH… I never got a chance to put him out and thank God I didn’t, because he’s WORKING yyyyyyyyyyyyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!

  • More money
  • Move quicker
  • No K2 smoked… Thank You Daddy.

Feeling awfully strange in my spirit… Sum just ain’t right. Can’t pinpoint it yet, but I’m feeling sum type of way ๐Ÿ˜ฆ ๐Ÿ˜ฆ ๐Ÿ˜ฆ

Trust God to run your marriage… Breadwinners are NOT in control.

Prayers pay off, again I reiterate that!

Never fight against mandatory change

Do what God says no matter the cost

Personal ad (Possible Disaster)

Testimony may lead to Tricky Tracking #

Da Ugly Ducklin – The Transparent Me 8/3/15 (DAY 15)

Today is MAKE EM SMILE MONDAY

Contradictory Vlog: Yesterday I stated we must love in spite of. Then, I turn right around and ditch my husband to sleep on the streets.

Ironically, I have every reason not to smile.

My daughter nearly died behind illicit drugs.

Misplaced anger towards my mother-in-law SMH.

The BREADWINNER can’t even get a decent meal???!!!

The effects of K2 on your marriage, family and life.

Get rid of your flesh, it destroys you and others you interact with.

Should you leave your spouse for indulging in drugs, simply because they’re irresponsibly still doing it, even after something bad has happened.

Da Ugly Ducklin – The Transparent Me 8/2/15 (DAY 14)

Today is SUPPORT SOMEONE SUNDAY

Important for older children, who indulge in bad things, to have a cell phone for emergencies.

We must allow God to transform us to where we’re loving supernaturally… Not in the natural (HUMAN)

Generational curses MUST be broke

How God gave me favor while receiving beautification services

Take care of skin, feet and hair… Imperative for self-preservation

Don’t let the devil reap havoc in your relationship!!! Let God show you what’s really going on

Don’t plan how to be nice, that’s fake… Instead, allow the Holy Spirit to move through you

We are not to only love those who we’re comfortable with, but we gotta Pray about loving EVERYONE in spite of

Da Ugly Ducklin – The Transparent Me 8/1/15 (DAY 13)

Today is SEEK HIS FACE SATURDAY

  • Let God control who you date, your marriage or already established relationship (NO FORNICATING)
  • Trust God to lead you down the right path as you plan and confirm your annual vacation.
    • You’re destined to get the BEST deals
    • Reassurance that any problems, should there be ANY will be minimal to NONE.
    • You’ll find new things to do to have fun, ATTRACTIONS and ACTIVITIES will come to you like never before
  • Career choices and continuum of education… He definitely knows, and I’ll guarantee you that your newย sought out and obtained profession will be one that you’ll look forward to every day.Unlike many of us, who merely go for a paycheck. Your God geared job will be one sufficient enough to retire from and you won’t have to double up (Work 2 or more jobs simultaneously) ย either, because the one income will be Heaven sent more than enough… You’ll be the lender and NEVER a borrower.

Got my eyes, feet and nails done up yaaaaaaaayyyyyyy, just waiting for my stylist to grocery shop, and my hair gon be on #fleek too!!! She always flicks her wrist ๐Ÿ™‚ ๐Ÿ™‚ ๐Ÿ™‚

PLEASE subscribe to my YouTube channel and follow me on EVERY social network that we connect in… Thanking you in advance!!!

Da Ugly Ducklin – The Transparent Me 7/31/15 (DAY 12)

Today is FREE YOUR MIND FRIDAY

Did not get my hair done ๐Ÿ˜ฆ ๐Ÿ˜ฆ ๐Ÿ˜ฆ Whole day went left!!!

No nail salon visit ggggggrrrrrrrrrrrrrhhhhhhhhhhhhh… that’s ok, because I should be off tomorrow (fingers crossed)

Baby girl doin it up in the Dominican Republic… Finally enjoying her vacation away, after a few rough patches that God helped her through.

Still Noooooooooo sleep SMH, tonight gotta be the night no doubt!

Husband finally back after another brief break-up (Talkin to me rude and harsh) That’s a no no, and automatic deal breaker – ZERO tolerance for utter disrespect.

Da Ugly Ducklin – The Transparent Me 7/30/15 (DAY 11)

Today is THANK HIM THURSDAY

Shooting in my daughter’s house (Close call SMH)

Her trip to the Dominican Republic

Theย 8 hours beautification process (Oh how HAPPY I’ll be afterwards)

HCYMABH… Back up and active.

Alone No More… Lying dormant, which is a GOOD thing, because nobody’s suicidal.

H.U.T. My desires for an immediate family (Annual Reunion) on a Yacht, even though I’m terribly scared of water.

TMOB – The Mouth Of Babez (New Ministry) For youth 21 and under, to learn the importance of having a relationship with God and the POWER in Prayer. Taking our children to church ain’t at all the gist of it. They MUST know what’s expected of them and all the BENEFITS within. More important, we don’t want them embarrassed or fearful to Pray to or interact with God.

Da Ugly Ducklin – The Transparent Me 7/29/15 (DAY 10)

Today is WE CAN DO IT WEDNESDAY

A day where we hold to the fact that we can do all things through Christ Who strengthens us.

My 13 yrs. old grandson arrested for a gun in his book bag. Could have caused the officers to shoot him unnecessarily.

Me experiencing Insomnia due to my being manic… Driving to work with eyes barely open SMH.

“Many are called, but few are CHOSEN”!!! Me disrespecting a coworker, then feeling awful afterwards… Open repent.

We MUST change in order to please God.

The thorn in my flesh is there for a worthy purpose.

Da Ugly Ducklin – The Transparent Me 7/28/15 (DAY 9)

 

Today isย TALK ABOUT IT TUESDAYย initially intended for friends and family to discuss different sermons, scriptures or Godly topics that each came across on previous days, for the purposes of readying yourselves for Wednesday Bible Study, where you’ll Prayerfully be armed with plenty of questions.

However my day didn’t begin good, and I had to vent after a crying moment, because I was so upset with my children.

Please give your opinion about the situations I discussed.

Thank God I feel 100 % better now… God Bless each of you, and may Heaven continue to smile upon you and yours

Please subscribe to my YouTube channel, and follow me on every social network where we meet up, and I’ll surely do the same for you.

Da Ugly Ducklin – The Transparent Me 7/27/15 (DAY 8)

Unbelievable!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This video is all messed up, but I uploaded it anyway, just to show how things can happen SMH. It was two parts. But, instantly one whole part… The beginning just got lost somewhere in cyber space lol. Nevertheless, the ending tells what my theoryย is on the shenanigans. BTW… Today isย MAKE EM SMILE MONDAY!!! With all the craziness going on with me lately, I can’t do nothing else but smile!!! Enjoy guys, in spite of the beginning being M.I.A.

Whaddayaknow, here’s the lost video… I knew it’d surface SMH

Da Ugly Ducklin – The Transparent Me 7/24/15 (DAY 5)

Today is FREE YOUR MIND FRIDAY no matter what the enemy tries to throw your way DODGE it, and keep it movin. Show him he has NOOOOOOOOOOOO power or control,and will not keep you bogged down!

Chris Brown with the suicide rumors going around. I searched through several sites, only to find out the world is getting all worked up about what they’re considering to be a cryptic message on his instagram… and more can be read here http://sandrarose.com/2015/05/is-chris-brown-suicidal/ & http://sandrarose.com/2015/06/chris-brown-wont-be-around-next-year/

I Pray she’s wrong. But, I’m not too happy about the writings she wrote, and many others stated their feelings on her site.

My apologies for getting upset, after talking about the beating I received from my last husband, and not really doing well in the Vlog.

Family should always stick together and help one another out, especially during homelessness.

Parents Pray for your grown child or children who’s not doing right in the eyes of God.

Sometimes our wayward children are complete replicas of us… Hmmmmmmm!!! “Train up a child in the way they should go and when they’re old they won’t depart from it”

The affects illicit drugs had on me, and my transition into alcoholism, and subsequent deliverance from it all.

How to be the bigger person and apologize for your wrong actions when you’ve hurt someone.

How the good in your mate can help you. (My husband making me share and diminish my stingy ways).

The shooting in my daughter’s home that caused our homelessness.

Da Ugly Ducklin – The Transparent Me 7/25/15 (DAY 6)

Today is SEEK HIS FACE SATURDAY and make sure you read a scripture, Pray, Praise or Worship Him today.

Christian wife/ Muslim husband (How you interact) (Praying, Praising & Worshipping together impossible)

Me seeing the aftermath of my two sisters after getting brutally beating (Reason for my hostility toward men)

Women should stay in their place (We cannot beat NO man)

A mother’s job is NEVER done (Talk toย your grown child) (Help them identify and then succeed at their goals)

Feeling ostracized after alcohol cease (How to enjoy life when everyone else still indulges)

Family should never see each other homeless (Well to do family won’t help SMH)

Never seclude your mate because you have no friends or family to chill with.

Da Ugly Ducklin – The Transparent Me 7/26/15 (DAY 7)

Today is SUPPORT SOMEONE SUNDAY and I ask that you support anyone in any capacity… Heaven smiles upon us for doing so.

This was a short video, that I’m not pleased with at all. Just had an altercation with my husband, and wasn’t feeling myself… My apologies.

Either the enemy is causing bad things to occur, because I’m following the plan of God for my life or God sees that my husband means me no well, and chose to remove him from my life.

FEEDBACK WELCOMED!!!

Da Ugly Ducklin – The Transparent Me 7/23/15 (DAY 4)

 

Not too pleased with today’s Vlog, because I got to talking about the beating at the hands of my last husband, and lost my whole train of thought… gggggggrrrrrrrrrrrrrhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Nonetheless, I went on with it, and talked about how God has kept me, and is still keeping me through all the craziness that I’ve endured and still experiencing.

Today is “Thank Him Thursday” be sure to THANK God for everything He’s done and still is doing in your life. He inhabits the Praises of His people.

*** Please comment on how you feel about poverty, generational curses, and utilizing government assistance.

Once again I ask y’all to forgive the video pauses, before you know it I’ll be making top-notch Vlogs.

As promised, I’m going to do my research on the Chris Brown incident, as it relates to what he’s experiencing with suicidal thoughts. I don’t EVER wanna mislead anyone, by giving inaccurate or totally bogus information.

Please follow me, subscribe to my channel on YouTube, and likewise I’ll return the favor.

Da Ugly Ducklin – The Transparent Me 7/22/15 (DAY 3)

Please forgive me for the dumb videos that end abruptly, without a proper outro message. But, time will definitely fix that, as I get more better at recording. Eventually, I’ll have a better device, with a huger storage.ย However, until thenย I ask you to bear with me.

I was cut off while explaining what happened with my last husband, and why we separated. As I was telling you,ย I made the horrible mistake of marrying way too quick fromย start. But, I was terribly lonely. Remember, I have ALL grown children, and they were moving on with their lives and happy for the most part… going out to eat, coupled up. Beach trips, constantly at the casino or club. Even though some of the places they frequented, I’m no longer interested in, I still wanted a mate, and I jumped at the very first chance that came my way and the latter monthsย was beyond overkill. Not to mention the fact that I wasn’t really over my previous husband, who I’m BACK with SMH, and that’ll be elaborated on as time progresses. Moreover, I carried hurt and all types of other damaging baggage over into my marriage, thus reaping unnecessary havoc for myself.

I was constantly bickering, complaining, nitpicking and physically abusing this man, and he held it all in until it came out in the worst way on that gruesome night, turned morning, beat down that I received, where God once again spared my life. now, this time, I wasn’t able to drive myself to the hospital like before and not because of any physical impairments. But, primarily because my husband didn’t want to leave me alone with in the ER, in fear of me contacting the police.

Enough of that already though, before too much explaining rolls into flashbacks, and emotions causes diverse reactions. I can’t say when I’ll discuss it. But, I wanna give my testimony about my reunification with my third husband, and how we’re doing now.

Da Ugly Ducklin – The Transparent Me 6/28/15 (Trial run – My first video trying out Vlogging)

This is my first attempt at Vlogging, and it was in June… I never could get the videos uploaded, so I completely gave up. But, I started back a month and a half later, and those are the videos on the site that are still not as good as I would like for them to be. But, I feel confident that I’m finally doing what’s pleasing to God. Even though they’re choppy and some are too long, in my opinion. Nevertheless, it satisfies my charge from above.

To recap: I discussed my reasons for getting away from the whole psychological team ofย nitwits, and it’s simply because thy weren’t doing me any good whatsoever!!! In fact, I spokeย out about two drugsย specifically that I’m not to fond of at all, and that’s Trazodone, because itย causes shortness of breath andย makes me feels anxious, andย as if I’m hyperventilating. And lithium simplyย because I’m worried about any medication thatย gives cause for my blood to be continually monitored SMH… Nope, I’m GUCCI!!!

To add, I don’t know how to put the fact that I see NO need for repetitive trips to see therapist and psychiatrist no clearer than I have, with so much seriousnessย to back… I mean it’s absolutely ridiculous to make all these appointments, in an effort to findย the “NORM” as most people call it, to no avail. I’m through being toyed with!!! Together with God and the testimonies of overcomers I’m gonna master my care without fake anecdotes and meaningless couch conversations.

I mentioned the stabbing that gave rise to my arrest, that aided in my eventualย psychological assessment and corrupt diagnosis.ย My daughter, her husband and I were on our way home from picking him (her husband) up from his granny’s house when I rode up on the worse scene I’d ever encountered.ย My husband, openly walking with a female, who I later found to be his mistress for several months prior… I literally lost my mind. How dare you!!! Right in the neighborhood we met and married in. That’s making a total mockery of me, seeing as how EVERYONE knows we’re married, and have been together for three years before this craziness, and you even have the audacity to flaunt her around, while still bringing me around your friends and family members, who obviously knew about your secret rendezvous. But, continued to smile in my face as if everything’s all well and fine… Some nerve SMH. Nevertheless, the whole ordeal plays out with me going with the police, him with the paramedics, and the floozy runningย away, at record speed, with my Tasmanian devil daughter in HIGH pursuit lol. That was a day I never wanna see again, and Prayerfully no one else has to ever experience.

Da Ugly Ducklin – The Transparent Me 7/21/15 (DAY 2)

I’m sooooooooo happy… God tells us to take the first step, out on Faith, towards any endeavor, and He’ll provide the INCREASE. I did just that, in spite of all my insecurities and uncertainties, and each video is getting better as I go.

To elaborate, the messages above refer to some hard times I experienced years ago while I was still a babe in Christ, and not at all able to properly rationalize, and almost lost my life because of it on several occasions.

Also, spoke about Miracle Man, a vessel for God who also ran from his calling, and underwent a detrimental mishap before totally surrendering, and is now disfigured for life.

I can’t believe I took this long to heed to His (God’s) beckoning, for me to open up in this way. I actually like it, and Prayerfully it’ll help as many people as possible, to heal, and also the feedback that I receive will enhance my healing process as well.

I love being able to expound on the GOODNESS of God, as in He as been ever so present and helpful in my life from day one. And even though I’m going through a trying time right now, I know undoubtedly that none of it is in vain, and I’ll reap the benefits soon enough if I faint NOT!!!

The Transparent Me (Day 1)

This is the start of a new way I’m going to interact. I’ve been blogging for years, to no avail, and I earnestly believe that it’s meant for me to visually convey my messages. To be honest, it took me this long because I’m not happy with the way I look on camera. But, If God has a purpose for you, you’ll get it done, according to His Will eventually… No matter how long you run.

I don’t doubt that the reason I’ve been going through soooooo much isย due to my procrastination and fear. “NO MORE”!!! I’m BAAAAAACCCCCKKKK, and I know I’ve said that many many times before, then I’ll fall away again… My apologies, trust me I’m full to the brim, and it’s about to spill over… Don’t believe me JUST WATCH ๐Ÿ™‚ ๐Ÿ™‚ ๐Ÿ™‚

Failed Suicide Attempt Brings Entire Family To GOD… Next tragedy leaves man blind and DISFIGURED for life.

All my life, throughout EVERY attempt I’ve ever made, I’ve been in close proximity to artillery, but was always to scared that I’d mess up and end up a vegetable and a burden on my children. This very last time in February 2014 I was hurting so bad that if I had a gun close by I would have used it. But, God makes no mistakes… Normally I only get storage bins with 24 hr. access. But, this particular company I was with closed their gates at nine. I was furious at the time, because I simply didn’t wanna be here any longer, and didn’t want the wait time that came with overdosing, and figured the gun shot would be quick and easy. Obviously that wasn’t then, and never will be part of God’s Mighty plan for my life.

Thank God for this family though, that a wonderful outcome resulted from what the father went through. In the end they ALL serve God together. He really got transformed while still in the hospital. His wife bares witness to the fact that he would write notes pointing his family to Christ amidst his pain. And even more, he’s ABSOLUTELY drug free… God is phenomenal!!!

What upsets me the most about this tragedy is the fact that he not only lost his sight, but he’s disfigured for life and has no real love ones around regularly for support. For me, every attempt was an attention seeker, and this last attempt showed me just how much my family and friends truly did love me. They were responsive very quick and remained supportive throughout my hospital stay and for some time afterwards too. They called the hospital back to back, it’s four of them, seeking updates on my status and possible discharge arrangements. Even though I was saddened that I ha scared them so bad, in the same token. I was happy that they finally exemplified the love and attention that I was crying out for. I was totally lonely and needed them badly. But, they were too busy with their own affairs. Believe it or not, the close relationship we developed after the attempt was short lived so to say, because they’ve returned to their old ways of putting me second to last. But, it in no way affects me like before. I’ve come to grips with the fact that they now have their own affairs to tend to, and I have God and Jesus right by my side, and I’m perfectly alright. As with the man in this video, he says he’s ok with the fact that no one comes around, at least he has a better life then before.

Alone No More wants to stop attempts from happening at all, by being available 24/7 and right at the tip of any in need’s fingertips. We wanna Pray with them, and express our testimonies, in an effort to deter the thought altogether. Please donate and share the gofundme link… Thanx bunches

http://www.gofundme.com/h2r43w

Formulation of Alone No More (small group)

There are MANY of you who’ve offered to help with the planning and building phase of Alone No More, and I plan to start holding online meetings for us to come together all in one place, so that we can finally get this much needed Ministry moving in the correct direction. Instead of me checking each comment and inviting you to the meeting, please reply with your email address or mobile number, depending on the device you intend to use for the meeting(s). I’ll be using Anymeeting, beforehand you can check it out, and see which method you feel you’d be comfortable using and leave the corresponding information accordingly. Until I actually get the hosting site up and going, I don’t even want to throw out tentative dates and times, I’d rather post it once I know that I know for sure that it’s a go!!! Pray with me everyone that this finally works and God will increase during these meetings, and I’ll decrease, allowing Him to overtake my mind and speak through me according to how He desires for us to proceed from here. (sigh)… finally smiling, believing deep in my heart that it’s all uphill from here… We just gotta learn to be still, and watch Him work when we’re clueless about what in the world we’re suppose to be doing SMH. Well, time to knock down these hours… At least I’m going in here today feeling like a heavy weight has been lifted up off my shoulders… Thank You Daddy, and a multitude of Blessings sent in every direction for you guys as well ๐Ÿ™‚ ๐Ÿ™‚ ๐Ÿ™‚ BnfEnT (CEO Son Son – DMV)

With God ALL things ARE possible… This journey takes Faith and supernatural strength!!!

19 days away from the BIG 45, and I’m embarking on a transition that I know will be trying… And this is when I look to see my help ever so near.

Even my PCP advised that I don’t attempt this, while still experiencing such traumas that bring about anxiety, stress and inevitably depression. But, he doesn’t know the Special help I’m relying on at this juncture in my life!!!

My health depends on this change… There’s mornings I wake up and my chest feels like an elephant has escaped the zoo and is now utilizing me for his/her resting post… Totally unacceptable; the huge mammoth & the disgusting, expensive, stinky, lung inhibitors can goooooooooooooooo far far away from me!!!

I’m ooooooooohhhhhhhhh sooooooo done! Now I say that with a reserve pack within arms reach, and they’re still here because I’ve vowed to quit after devouring the last one. I know there’s trillions of you who’ve either already conquered what I’m about to face or you may even be with me at the beginning stage of your cessation add well ggggrrrrrrhhhhhh.

Whatever the case, let’s be each other’s networking empowerment. We MUST get through this, and doing it together will deftly make it much easier. This is when I’ll for sure watch my Faith be activated; every time a craving comes I’ve gotta quickly run fast as I can, like Forest Gump, to God… And y’all remember he had them braces on his legs, and eventually they fell right off… That’ll be me, once God truly delivers me, the very thought of the stupid Lil things will turn my stomach.

Soon I’ll be at the place where the smell of them nauseates me, and that’ll be a good thing for once… Crazy enough, I hate nausea with a complete passion. But, I’ll undergo it for a few ticks, long enough to be sure that I Neeeeeevvvveeerr relapse.

Just imagine all the money Imma save. Prettier skin, whiter teeth, fresh smelling breath, no more people running for dear life when I talk… Joke lol. I’ll be able to run up stairs, all the waaaaaayyyyyyy to the top!!! Where I use to have stop multiple times in between SMH. Most important though is the fact that my vessel will finally be all the way useful for God… Hallelujah!!!

Let’s do it guys… Nooooooo more cigarettes… Starting, when my last one is finished… Stay tuned, to be continued ๐Ÿ™‚ ๐Ÿ™‚ ๐Ÿ™‚

BnfEnT (CEO Son Son – DMV)

Testimony service is OFFICIALY open…. And I’m FIRST!!!

Growing up every time I seen anyone crying I assumed they were sad… On day my mom explained to me that people can actually shed TEARS OF JOY. That made me feel better… Now today I have my own reason to cry out thank You a trillion times to God, and I’m trying so hard to squeeze out some tears, to triple express my appreciation to Him… But, they won’t come. Nonetheless, He knows my heart, and how happy I am.

This is how I feel right now…

Those who follow me know that I keep intermittently having bouts of distraction and deterrence from the dumb devil. But, God has used all of you and the Holy Spirit to keep me sustained… kudos to yunce. And it gets better… This morning I finally opened a letter from a Prophet who regularly sends me messages from God… He was telling me that I had unknowinglyย opened the door to satan’s venom… of course I got all scared, but not bent outta shape!!! Immediately, I anointed myself with oil, and cried out to God. You talking bout supernatural/miraculous change, help, Blessings etc. flowing from on high. Thereafter, I picked up my phone to see a dreadful email from my ONCE auto insurance company, going in on me… boutta make me get all upset and cry bad tears… not the ones of JOY this post is referring to. But God!!! ย  He said, uhhhhh get rid of em!!! Just like that… Plain and straight to the point, in His still CALM small little voice lol. I wasted no time… Powered up the ole laptop, and got to surfing. Normally, this can be a draining process, having to search through several companies before you’re satisfied… Nope!!! Quick and easy, remember… I’m the King’s kid ๐Ÿ™‚ ๐Ÿ™‚ ๐Ÿ™‚ ย  Google always categorizes companies according to popularity and/or ratings. Whatever the case, the first one got stuck just spinning, supposedly looking for my driving and previous insurance history, and I’m like Nooooo waaaaayyyyy nobody can have that many tickets, not to mention it’s really only concerned about moving violations, and I own NONE! My Daddy said… move on to the next… Y’all already know my lil obedient self… I did so, and it was on and poppin from there…

I wanted to do this

but my husband would’ve probably called the ambulance lol… He’d been scared outta his wits. Can I tell you, I was expected to pay $416.92 on June 10th, but God turned dat thing AAAALLLLLLLL the way around… $126.37!!! And I know yawl probably thinking like I was, some of the coverage probably changed… No indeed, same coverage, and get this… SOME EXTRAS, and lower deductibles!!! I had my deductibles at their peaks, to keep my premiums down… But God! No More worrying about budgeting this and scarcely paying that… Forget about robbing Peter to pay Paul too… My Daddy is RICH… I reiterate, He owns the cattle on a thousand hills. Now let me run and get this money from my son, to put back in the bank, before it overdraft frfr… Lol, had to leave on a funny note. Especially since lucifer and his lil ugly creรคture lookin imps been bothering me gggggggrrrrrrrrrrrrrhhhhhhhhhhhhhh…. I’m gone… Enjoy y’all day!!!

Sooooooo angry at myself!!!

Just what in the world is wrong with me??? “If God be for me, WHO can be against me?”

I gotta stop letting the enemy reap havoc in my life, and I go curl up under bushes, with my tail tucked… Whimpering and subdued… I’m a child of God, an heir of God and a joint heir with Christ Jesus!!!

God has placed tooooooo much in me for me to keep shutting down on His work!!!

My deepest apologies to everyone who has been willing to back me on His endeavor. But, watched me inadvertently sink into that ridiculous nearly two week depression phase… I’m just grateful that God knows me through and through; enough to know that I wasn’t arbitrarily saying no I won’t do it, because other secular issues and/or opportunities took premise.

But rather He saw the distractions the adversary created for me, to veer me off course, and He had to send the right people along to pull me back. I’d like to thank each one of you for continuing to message me, in spite of my silence, during my trying time… That is nobody but God, to keep you steadfast, amidst my craziness… Thanks, thanx… Then thanx one more again!!!

Everybody… Alone No More is about to take off… Hurting individuals will have the love, compassion, attention, affection, care, concern, time, and anything else they need!!! God purposely saved me from twelve obnoxious suicide attempts, and I suffer from Nooooooo brain damage at all… Actually, I’m ridiculously intelligent… Which shows He’s ever so present in my life. Therefore, onward I go… In His service!!!

I’m BBBBAAAAACCCCCKKKKK ๐Ÿ™‚ ๐Ÿ™‚ ๐Ÿ™‚

BnfEnT (CEO Son Son – DMV)

Tribute to suicide victims – YouTube

http://de.gofund.me/h2r43w

Please go through each link, and realize, especially through their Facebook posts, that these were once normal individuals, living out each day… Then, something happen!!! Most had an abundance of friends and family interacting with them regularly SMH… Alone No More wants to get to the root of the issues and be able to, with the help of God Almighty, stop suicide altogether.

http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/fredericknewspost/obituary.aspx?pid=167476731

Jessica Gladhill

https://www.facebook.com/jessica.gladhill


http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/hartfordcourant/obituary.aspx?pid=166939399

Todd Dorey


http://www.suttonguardian.co.uk/news/8327340.Triple_suicide_family_torn_apart_by_fourth_death/

Anna Borau

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1356031/How-mother-bear-After-suicides-child-lost-legal-high.html


http://worlddestiny.proboards.com/thread/11146

Destiny Grindstaff


http://www.findagrave.com/cgi-bin/fg.cgi?page=gr&GRid=82774735

Isabel Borau


https://www.facebook.com/neil.lal

Neil Lal


http://www.horancares.com/obituary/Sterling-Alexander-Malec/Northglenn-CO/1123023

Sterling Malec

https://www.facebook.com/events/482613408437952/


http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/deseretnews/obituary.aspx?n=jason-mark-ainsworth&pid=156091670

Jason Mark Ainsworth

http://www.findagrave.com/cgi-bin/fg.cgi?page=gr&GRid=85735259


http://www.newsargus.com/obituaries/archives/2007/04/15/nathan_lynn_ford/

Nathan Ford

http://nathan-ford.virtual-memorials.com/

Alone No More (Gofundme) info

I have no clue how to write proposals. So, I’ll raise money to hire someone to do that. Then, prayerfully get grant money to move forward with the app, website and team of helpers.

I know it’s gon be expensive and I’ll need energy to work two jobs and bring this all together. But, God is gonna give me His strength when I feel weak or bogged down.

http://e.gofund.me/h2r43w

Please at least pass that link around… It could be someone close to you next… Don’t overlook or criticize because it hasn’t hit home yet, and prayerfully it Neeeeeevvvveeerr does. Nonetheless, help in any way you can Plllleeeeeaaaaassssseeee.

BnfEnT (CEO Son Son – DMV)

Post from HCUMABH 2/26/14

GM Heartmenders ๐Ÿ™‚

Prayerfully all is well with each of you, as for me, life couldn’t be better. NO, everything’s not perfect, but it don’t look like it use to and I have great expectations for the days to come. Starting today, I’ve decided to wholeheartedly TRUST God with my entire life, more than I did in the past. Before, I somewhat gave Him my all, but it was too easy for me to stray. This time around, I’m SOLD OUT, NO turning back, and my desire is to take each one of you with me, as I journey through life in peace and harmony… secure in my mind that God and the heavenly bodies are with me and won’t allow any of US to dash/gash our foot against a stone.

Am I promising you a problem free life going forward? No indeed!!! In fact, I’ll honestly tell you that trials are destined to occur. But, know that is the evidence that we’re walking the straight and narrow… just be sure NOT to deviate. Yes, temptations will rise and you may FALL short, it’s normal my love, just don’t waller in it… immediately get back up, REPENT, and grab our Father’s hand and proceed on.

Each day, before your feet touch the ground, make it a habit to Thhhaaannnkkk God for new life, invite Him into your day, and ask Him to guide and guard every part of your being, and place a covering over your love ones. Then, move into action, allowing Him to have his way with you, of course, follow your routine as normal, taking care of your hygiene and diet, still exercise if you always did, make all your same phone calls and go on to work. The only difference is your quiet conversations with God, that helps you with decision making. For me, I have a spending problem, that arises even more so when I’m bored or sunken… that changes today, as I walk in any store from now on, my prayer will be “Daddy, You know what I need, anything is of no importance, so don’t let me spend unnecessarily”. Likewise, ask Him to aide in your life, in whatever area you struggle. To add, find a point when you open up to be used by Him, for His purpose… just say “Daddy, You’ve been Soooooo good to me and mine, now direct me to do something for You; it’s my pleasure to serve”.

Fam, I know I never finished the series I started about intriguing your man… my bad!!! But, who knows if that was the correct message for me to convey, maybe God will take us back to it or He may lead us somewhere else totally… just be patient with me and enjoy the ride… as always, I love you all to pieces ๐Ÿ™‚

BnfEnT (CEO Son Son – DMV)

Post from HCUMABH 1/19/14

I’m back… at work and can only write during breaks, so bear with me.

Nonetheless, back to what I was conveying earlier; before I jump back to it, I wanna give you some history.

When this group evolved some nearly five years ago, I was probably worse off than I am now and surely didn’t think I’d live to see myself be the supportive individual that God allowed me to soon become, and I say soon, because we (HCYMABH) are about to excel.

Back on the very day I sat at my computer and formulated this group, I had no idea what I was doing, and just how it would even turn out, and even with all my slack, I can proudly say we’re 2k strong, and I look forward to us growing in leaps.

However, the day I spoke about was the day I was released from a mental institution, and actually my first time ever attempting suicide, I couldn’t believe that was the route I took, considering I always thought I could conquer anything. The way I was living my life, back then, you would’ve thought I was in jail for homicide vs me being the victim.

Long story short, after leaving, I still wasn’t feeling up to par, so I looked for support groups in my area to help me cope, but nothing was local, so I searched online to no avail. Then God dropped it in my spirit to start my own… I did and here we are. Except I haven’t been faithful to the group, and that’s none other than a trick of the enemy, who caused me to get sidetracked, by sending temporary relationships my way, to keep me from ever getting the good news out to everyone. But, all that’s out the window now… I’m back focused. But, I’ll have to come back later again, breaks over… but do keep a look out for the following posts, because it’s bout to get juicy… stay tuned.

BnfEnT (CEO Son Son – DMV)

Post from HCUMABH 6/9/14

GE HCYMABH MEMBERS,

No doubt, I’m ok with allowing God to mend my broken heart, because I know He’ll be genuine in His acts towards me, Neeeeeevvvveeerr wavering in kindness and support and the sadness some people make me feel at times wouldn’t EVER occur with Him. However, what gets me angry, upset and confused is the fact that I’m not able to treat the hurtful people the way they treat me… The flesh side of me wants to be like Rick Ross (God forgives but I don’t) but I’m too afraid of God’s wrath.

He helped me realize FFFFIIIIIRRRSSSSTTTT that I shouldn’t retaliate against the people, because it’s NOT actually them who’s treating me unkind, but rather the adversary is working through them, in an effort to keep me sidetracked from ALL the things I’ve been called to do for Him… see the dumb devil knows it’s about to go down, and many, once again, will change their wicked ways, and come to Christ wholeheartedly, JUST by keeping in close proximity to me… Soooooo, he thinks by reaping havoc unnecessarily between us will complicate OUR relationship to the point that my witness will be of NO effect… NOT!!! Dumb is ya Lucifer ๐Ÿ™‚

That just makes me PRAY harder, and the more I seek God on the issue, the faster chains are BROKEN, generational curses diminish, pain and heartache disappear, and family orientation is strengthened… dummy, you’re on notice, TODAY, I am a child of God and always will be, NO MORE falling by the wayside… I’m grounded and rooted… And everything God has for me and mine shall come to pass!!!

How can I mend my broken heart… easy, through continual Prayer and supplication… you have no place here… therefore, return to the pits of hell, WHERE you belong… while Weeeeeeeee move forward in total Salvation… (((TOODLES)))

BnfEnT (CEO Son Son – DMV)

Post from HCUMABH 9/1/12

At one point, I would spend countless hours analyzing myself, trying to figure out what was wrong internally, that caused constant problems in my relationships.

I will admitt, I like all others have flaws, and I can tend to be a bit dominate at times. But, to repeatedly meet with disappointment is ridiculous, and I haven’t a clue what the issue is.

While reflecting on myself, I considered my physique to be the primary culprit. So, I got my weight in tact, and happiness re-kindled. But, before long he was gone again. Then, I assumed it had to be my overbearing demeanor. So, I took on the back-seat occupant role of the relationship for a while, and I let my mate drive us for some eight miserable months; to no avail. Let me tell you, that obnoxious ordeal was short lived, and I eventually found myself by myself, and really contemplating suicide.

After a while, I began asking God if He ultimately wanted me alone, because He had other plans for my life. But, I can’t see that being the predicament, because He made woman from and for man… Which indicates that there IS somebody out here for me. I’m just missing the mark somehow.

To sum it all up, I’m not living in this realm of confusion by my lonesome, and I’m asking for input, so that we, who are hurt, can come out of our emotional bondage, and find TRUE happiness. Don’t be shy, we can all benefit from each others testimonies.

#TEAMHOWTOMENDMYBROKENHEART

BnfEnT (CEO Son Son – DMV)

Seek HIS Face Saturday

Passions’ Pottery:

http://bible.com/111/mat.7.7.niv

โ€œAsk and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.

Bible.com/app 

God can do ALL things but lie. Now, some may feel, “I’m not too sure about that, I’ve asked, sought and knocked, with no rebecausee” Worry not, be not dismayed! Either that particular thing you desired IS coming or something totally BETTER is deftly on its way. Very important: my texts can only hold ten people, and when God gave me this task I thought it was for the masses and I’d have to forward it multiple times, in order to reach ALL who’d listen or those who’d be interested, and low and behold I Only have seven committed and dedicated individuals, and trust that if you’re really into this your rewards are on their way. Remember, God sees ALL and will react the same towards you as you do Him. It’s better for you to say remove me from the group then to allow the correspondences to lie dormant or out and out plainly delete them upon receipt. Sure, we all get busy, and some just don’t like reading altogether. Trust it’ll pan out beneficial for you to take a few mins each day, not to only read the Messages, and I purposely capitalized Messages, because they’re specifically from and of God. Also, don’t feel as though ” I’m not going the whole nine yards wit God, so my interactions via text are obsolete and will never amount to nuttin ” Wrong!!! I’ve been saved since 1994 and have never been exactly where I wanna be or where I FEEL God wants me to be. But, He deftly still loves and Blesses me regularly. In fact, I was reluctant about moving forward with this group because I felt inadequate… Nope, those are all tricks of the enemy. Regardless of Church affiliation or the lack thereof, if we, like many WHO won’t at all, spend at least 15 mins with God a day… He’s obliged TRUST ME. Nuttin happens by chance, the chosen vessels who are here; are here because God knows that we’ll grasp the value within and do what’s right.

BnfEnT (CEO Son Son – DMV)

Free Your Mind Frrrrriiiidddddaaaaayyyyy

Passions’ Pottery:

Itttttt’sssssss Frrrrriiiidddddaaaaayyyyy!!! And the day to totally unwind and relax. Even if you must work today, go to school or handle some business that would otherwise be stressful/overwhelming…Don’t allow it! You’re in control of your actions and reactions today. So, every time you feel your adrenaline negatively being impacted… โŽ🚫 โ›” STOP, and remain 🆒 and 🕧 count to ten… Then, smile and realize you’re too BLESSED TO BE STRESSED. with that in mind, carry on with your business at hand, in a peaceful and conducive manner. Purposely think about a vacation you’d love to be on RIGHT NOW and actually allow the very scenery to overtake you, to the point that it feels like an out of body experience, and you really feel the sun beaten down on your shoulders and the sand between your toes, as you slowly approach the fresh blue water ur getting ready to enjoy for a few ticks… Once in the water, and your body has become acclimated… It’s curtains… Nuttin can aggravate nor irritate now… You’re in your zone! Str8 relaxation. FYI if your phone ain’t waterproof don’t even imagine yourself chillin wit Pandora and headphones… Your expensive device hittin that water would ruin the excitement you just built yourself up to lol.    http://bible.com/97/dan.12.13.msg โ€œAnd you? Go about your business without fretting or worrying. Relax. When itโ€™s all over, you will be on your feet to receive your reward.โ€
Bible.com/app

BnfEnT (CEO Son Son – DMV)

Thank HIM Thursday

Passions’ Pottery:

Sooooooo, thanking God for His goodness can become so clichรฉ. Don’t let it!!! We know how we do when we’re rushing “Father God, I thank You for waking me up, thank You for food, a car to drive and shelter… Amen” Ohhhhh nah, we’s not boutta keep short changing Him… Commit to 7 measly mins of pure and genuine Thanksgiving. For He inhabits the Praises of His people. Go off by yourself and use your headphones, in case you be all embarrassed about interacting wit God. But, go to Pandora and put on VaShawn Mitchell – Nobody greater and start by clapping your hands and audibly saying Hallelujah… Who cares if you look dumb lol. The rewards thereafter will be surmountable. And some may have instant things to thank God for, yet while others may need the Holy Spirit within to intercede on your behalf. Either way, just the mere fact that you obediently took the initiative, Heaven’s gonna cry out. Now, we all know how Pandora works, that specific song may not immediately populate. Nonetheless, go for it, whilst allowing two songs to play through… Hey, if the Spirit takes over, and you find yourself on the floor some hours later, deftly come back to dis link for a Praise report. http://bible.com/97/psa.136.1-3.msg Thank God ! He deserves your thanks. His love never quits. Thank the God of all gods, His love never quits. Thank the Lord of all lords. His love never quits.
Bible.com/app love each of you to pieces!!!

BnfEnT (CEO Son Son – DMV)

R.I.P. Paulette “Passion” Williams-Murphy

Normally, this would be a time of sadness, mourning, grieving, and a lot of tears being shed. On the contrary, I’ll tell you firsthand… Let any tears that flow be ones of JOY, for this is a glorious time for anyone who experiences this type of death (DYING TO SELF). Where you take on the John 3:3-7 type of death and burial, which totally denounces the flesh and all its wicked desires all together.

Believe me, I’m haaaappppyyyy as a Lark, for I know it’s all uphill from here… Nooooooo good thing will God withhold from me now, because I took the initiative to put Him first and at the forefront of my life, and teach me how to Walk in newness, and I’m excited to proclaim the effects of the Holy Spirit living within and controlling my everyday activities is purely evident.

Thursday, I went to the nail salon, for beautification purposes, and my eldest daughter later joined me, and it was amazing to her how good I was doing upon her arrival and the farewell before leaving… Her jaws dropped, and she just had to say something, which made me even happier about my transformation… Her words were ย “wow, I can’t believe what I just saw, maaaaannnnnnn you’re doing good lately, you’ve really changed”!!! That’s how it should be, I don’t have to run around hollering (I’m a Christian)… No indeed, it should be apparent, when people watch you, that God is working out your Salvation, and removing EVERYTHING that could ever inadvertently hinder your Walk.

See, she was use to me coming home with stories about me cursing an artist out, boutta fight somebody, or totally getting banned from the establishment…ย ” NO MORE “ all those negative attributes, characteristics, and ill personalities are finished… Just like Jesus himself declared as He took His last breath!!!

Ain’t Nooooooo stopping me now. Long lines in grocery stores can’t get me upset, hideous traffic no longer upsets me, people backbiting and gossiping about me can’t get me to respond… That old person, with all those chaotic ways is DDDDEEEEAAAADDDD!!!

Da UGLY Ducklin feels BEAUTIFUL

Words couldn’t convey the awesomeness I feel within… I mean my walk is different, my head is up opposed to always lookin down and somber… If I wasn’t sure I was filled with the Holy Spirit before… I’m beyond convinced now!!!

Nothing or nobody could ever grant me such overwhelming peace, joy, happiness, and assurance… It’s definitely God, without a shadow of doubt, all over me… And I can’t stop smiling. I bet it’s all the encouragement I received just today, from all of you right here on WordPress… Thank you guys sooooooo much :-):-):-)

Of course, what’s noticeable now has been there all along, but I was too bogged down to allow it all to fester… But God!!! He won’t let you wallow in no mess for too long, it makes Him look bad. Sooooooo, he picked me up and put a new spark in my step, now I can finish this race set before me, knowing imma friend of God and He’s got my back… Nooooooo question!!!

Follow me as I allow Christ to LEAD!!!

Grace is not an excuse to sin… Instead, it’s the POWER of the Holy Spirit, WHO helps you not to!!!

Just because we have Grace available to cover us, when we accidentally mess up, that don’t mean that we should arbitrarily do wrong. Yes, God is merciful and He’ll forgive us each time we fall short, but Plllleeeeeaaaaassssseeee believe punishment is adamant.

If you’re living in an adulterous relationship, know that you’re playing with fire and take a stand today to get out of it. You’re playing with God and straddling the fence, and before long He’ll release you over to the enemy, and allow him to consume you.

You may be committing a sin, and thinking it’s partly Ok, because it’s your only way to make ends meet (prostituting, selling drugs, embezzlement, etc.) STOP!!! God has your back, and I know that’s easier said than done, especially since I can’t say I know what you’re experiencing… No I can’t, in that aspect. But, I’ve been in predicaments where I had to totally Trust God and He deftly came through for me.

I had four babies with Nooooooo food to feed them, and God sent a lady shopping for us and she arrived at our home with her trunk and back seat full of enough food to last us at least two months… So, I can bear witness/attest to His remarkable capabilities.

God knows all our needs, but we still have to Pray to Him for the help we need. Going back to the affair, if it’s been years, I can only imagine how hard it’ll be to sever all ties with the one person you love most… Do it, without thinking twice, and watch God show up and show out for you. The person He’ll send will be ten times better, and most important, they’ll be yours ๐Ÿ™‚

Before we were even formed in our mother’s womb, God already had a map laid, allotting exactly how He wanted the course to go, of course it’d be wonderful if we had a copy of the plans, and could walk it out, then we more than likely wouldn’t veer. On the other hand, it is what it is, we have to patiently wait on God to give us bits and pieces, and we simply have to Trust Him to make no mistakes. In the interim, we get into all kinds of craziness, trynna rush into success, happiness, prosperity or wealth… Whatever the case, it’s not part of God’s blueprint and must go, in order for us to ever have the pleasure of enjoying the goods He has in store for us.

Each morning, die to self and allow the Holy Spirit to take over and watch how much better your day unfolds. For those settling for illicit money making schemes, I know it sounds ludacris that you should walk away from the only thing that’s been feeding your family for all these years… But, you must put all your Faith in God, that He’ll make ways for you, when it looks like there’s no way. That’s when it’s gonna be amazing and He’ll get the most gratitude, and He loves every bit of that… When you’re able to testify on how you went cold turkey, Trusting Him fully, and He not only came through, but He went beyond your expectations. God is Marvelous, Miraculous, Rich, Compassionate, Affectionate and Powerful.

Once He sees us putting forth an effort… That’s His invitation to jump in and the rest is history. Therefore, do what’s Godly right to do, and utilize Grace appropriately ๐Ÿ™‚ ๐Ÿ™‚ ๐Ÿ™‚

Da APPLE don’t fall far from Da TREE

Proverbs 22:6
6 “Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.”

Starting October 26, 1993, following this charge was imperative in my life, and I set out to do just that… In fact my children say they couldn’t wait to get grown, so I couldn’t FORCE them to go to Church any longer. I mean we attended service EVERY time the doors opened, I may have over did it! But, that was because of my lifestyle before transformation, and my believing that we needed extra cleansing, in order to be RIGHT with God. Nonetheless, the Word never lied, because my babies know the goodness of God, and He’s Who they depend on in the time of troubles. To add, they have dignity and integrity, due to the long hours we spent with God. Therefore, it panned out to be worth it :-). Now, let’s meet my clan… I just love these little critters ๐Ÿ™‚

My oldest: Kia D. Johnson

kia red

We call her the “Grandma” of the family, because she has an old soul lol. She’s married to her Junior High school sweetheart, and they have three wonderful babies. On Kia’s wedding day, I dedicated a marvelous song to her, and she and I danced together to it… We had a great time in the Lord.

It’s been crazy throughout Kia’s life, we use to think we were twins somehow… because if I got sick, within days she’d come down with the same sickness. If I got a scratch or scar, before long she’d have the same one in the same place… weird but amazingly cute and sentimental. Kia’s personality is unimaginable, I’ve always told her no matter how much the enemy tries to get you to change, by making you think you humble ways allows people to walk all over you… never change, because God made you the way you are, and many people would die to be that way, you merely have the Fruits of God’s Spirit operating inside… Be Thankful!

Me and Kia have worked together at several different companies, to include our current positions with the USPS, where we’ve been employed for nearly three years. God is AWESOME ๐Ÿ™‚ ๐Ÿ™‚ ๐Ÿ™‚

Here’s Kia’s oldest Bryius, we’re believing God that he’ll play either professional football or basketball. He’s humongous, but in a good way – He has the height to dunk the ball, and the weight to tackle on defense… God makes NO mistakes!!!

drama

I love this kid to pieces, always giving of himself to help others, just like his Mommy… Keep up the GOOD work Drama, Nana sees all! Here is Kia’s second oldest Bry’kuise, we’re believing God that we’ll see him on the big screens. He’s so talented, and has been doing skits and mimicking movie scenes for years now… his day is coming real soon… Thank You Daddy in advance ๐Ÿ™‚

dank

Remember this lil handsome face, because you’ll definitely see it again… Nana’s Child Prodigy. Lastly, we have Kia’s only girl, who she Prayed for and wanted so bad… Here’s Blessed

diva

Too early to know what God has in store for her, but I know it’ll be WONDERFUL… Because He wouldn’t have it no other way. He never desires for us to live in lack and a mediocre life.

Next, meet my only son Vincent who built a entertainment business from the ground up, and he works full time as a manager at a lucrative bread company… Vincent was Blessed with optimum rap skills, and has already put out one mix tape… He always makes Mama proud. He has two biological children and one step son. Here’s Vincent

son son

Look for him, performing, in your city in the upcoming months. Very creative lyricist, with 10k fans all across the country… Keep going baby, take us to the top!!! Vincent’s oldest is a beautiful little girl, who the enemy is keeping from us at the moment. But, Prayer changes everything! So, even that situation will eventually unfold in our favor. Meet Najea

najae

I love you baby girl… People use to think she was my daughter, she looks so much like me… In due time you’ll be back with us if I faint not, and keep doing right by God. Here’s Tonio, Vincent’s son through common-law marriage

tonio

This young man has been with us since the age of two, and we love and accept him just like the rest. Last for Vincent is his twin baby boy fatty

fatty

He too will play some type of sports professionally, his body structure says football, and just know we’re totally behind you baby boy… go for it! Your sky has no limits ๐Ÿ™‚

Next, meet my Mini-Me,

mia

everybody says she not only looks just like the younger me, but she has all my personality traits as well. She too followed in my footsteps career wise and is currently employed at USPS. And there’s something else special about this young lady, she gave us the first set of twins in three generations… blew my mind when I heard they were coming, and it’s been astonishing watching them thus far… Twins are unique, the way they interact with each other and the world, and these boys are tricking us already and they’re only two… If you ask them their names, they switch up on you… so cute :-). Thank God they’re fraternal or we’d be in trouble lol! But, here’s Mia’s first girl Zai’kiyah

ky

This is the Mommy of the younger ones, she gives all the orders, and really knows how to apply make up too lol. Next , we got Zai’Riyah

ry

You can tell by the pic, she got personality… But, believe it or not, she’s quiet and shy. Now, the grand finale for Mia is the infamous twins… meet Marvin & Malone

twins

these babies are a MUST see… so much different than my children and my other grandchildren… they were truly cut from a different cloth SMH ๐Ÿ™‚

The last of the Mohicans is my baby girl Anthonya,

noodles

I’m so proud of her, she successfully finished her training course, in Nursing Assistance and went on to get state certified, and is employed at Howard University Hospital and has one little girl Ms. Xoe

xoe

.

Family is my number one priority, and seeing to it that we all live right is a must!!! I’m a stickler for Prayer, and having a concrete relationship with God, and I do my best to make sure my children instill nothing but the best in their children… for they are our futures.

From PITIFUL to POWERFUL

Pitiful: Sad, Miserable, Insufficient, Pathetic, Poor, Meager & Trifling

“NO MORE” I’m in CONTROL, with the HELP of Christ, in determining the course of my life, and I decide that the above words DONOT define me!!! I have set my standards and expectations high, and will move on towards my destiny in newness. I decree and declare that I won’t be a slave any longer to the sins that use to have me bound. Instead, each day I’ll surrender my ALL to God, and allow Him free reign in my life.

Before this, I had to drink every day, just to be able to be sociable, if not I was irritated and angry. Not, knowing that I was actually doing myself an injustice, because the temporary fix was doing nothing but damaging my organs, while appearing to keep me happy. Any mind-altering substance that we take pleasure in, and allow the enemy to trick us with, only separates us from God. True, we live by Grace, and Thank God for that! Nonetheless, we are responsible for our actions, and willfully sinning definitely warrants repercussions and punishment. Several of my friends and love ones today are suffering from or have died from cirrhosis of the liver, which is a direct derivative of chronic alcoholism… Lord Iย Thank You for deliverance ๐Ÿ™‚

Powerful: Strong, Sturdy, Robust, Solid, Influential, Dominant, Compelling, Convincing & Persuasive ๐Ÿ™‚

Nooooooooooo Stopping me now… I move through life these days with assurance, never PROUD though! I will never lose my humbleness, because I know God can snatch it all in a blink of an eye. And it’s never been me to make anyone feel inferior, and besides, God is no respecter of person… What He’s done for me, He’ll definitely do forย the next. That’s why my Prayers aren’t self-seeking. Rather I Pray for EVERYONE to be Blessed, Successfulย and Happy.

God’s Word states: For the LORD God is a sun and shield: the LORD will give grace and glory: no good thing will he withhold from them that walk uprightly.

With that ^^^^^^ in mind, I keep in mind ALL the good things that I want to occur for me and mine, and Thank God in advance for them, in Faith, that they’re coming in His time. I look at it like this… The Blessings God has for us are humongous, and we have to be ready for them, that’s why the cleaning/purging process had to take place in my life, and once He feels that I’ll be a good steward over what He gives me… I’ll soar ๐Ÿ™‚ ๐Ÿ™‚ ๐Ÿ™‚ I’m getting CLOSE, no doubt… I can feel and see prosperity all around me each day… and like always; Daddy, I Thank You for all You’ve done, doing now, and gonna do for us all… Have YOUR way in our lives… And much appreciation and GRATITUDE sent Your way merely for Who YOU are… Love You to pieces ๐Ÿ™‚

Traveling the long road HOME

Ultimately, EVERYONE wants to end up in HEAVEN opposed to thinking about spending eternity in hell, where you’ll burn forever, with no likely relief. Not to suggest that it’d ever be ok to end up there, but if you knew you were damned to burn for ONLY a certain amount of time, then maybe it wouldn’t be so scary. On the other hand, you’ll never be able to escape torment and turmoil… It will be excruciating pain and agony.

Therefore, start TODAY living your life in a way that you’re confident that you’ll be a worthy candidate for HEAVEN. And we do this by having and keeping a close relationship with God, studying His Word, Praying to & Praisingย Him, and following His Commandments. Making it to HEAVEN requires that we have an intimate relationship with God and accept that Jesus is His ONLY begotten Son, sent to die on the cross for the remission of our sins. That’s what Praise is all about; even if we don’t have nothing, in our minds, that brings about excitement, the mere fact Jesus suffered in our place is reason enough.

All He went through FOR US should cause us to Praise Him regularly!!! Just think of the troubles you’ve faced and near death experiences you encountered or never even have to face, simply because He paid it forward SMH. How could we even second guess living right, to show our appreciation for His sacrificial death? To me, we make a mockery of Jesus when we willfully sin and dance around with the devil on a day-to-day basis, as if what He did for us was mediocre… He was human, and the lashes He took to His flesh was REAL.

I put emphasis on TODAY because tomorrow ain’t promised to any of us… Death is adamant, there’s no question that we all will leave this earth someday. The imperative question at hand is where will our Spirit go thereafter? Choose now, to surrender your all to Christ, first thanking Him for His offering on our behalves. Then, ask Him into your heart, mind and soul, to help you live upright daily. Although, He knows our shortcomings, still confess them aloud, and allow Him the ability to help you get it right, so that you’ll be PLEASING in His sight. Earth ain’t my home! I don’t know about y’all, but I’m overjoyed about and can’t wait so see my mansion in Heaven, not only for the beauty within. But, more because I know I’ll never worry, cry, hurt, be sad, mad, envious, nor distraught again :-).

God loves us unconditionally, and it’s NOT His desire that ANY of us should live in lack or perish… Let Him in, it’s nothing like a connection with God and the reassurance that HEAVEN will eventually be your peaceful HOME. See ya there ๐Ÿ™‚

Holding on to Heaven while YOUR husband goes THROUGH hell!

I purposely added emphasis to the word THROUGH to show that I indeed have FAITH that he’ll eventually come out of this craziness that he’s bogged down with, and OUR marriage shall be harmonious.

I will say this though, it’s NOT as bad as before. There were years of blatant in-your-face disrespect occurring, with different women and infidelity, and I was Soooooo blindly in love that I excepted ANY and everything he put me THROUGH. After some time, I did grow wiser and I ultimately ended the relationship altogether. But, it is obvious that God wants US together. I mean WE spent ten years away from each other, and both of us married other people. Nonetheless, here WE are… BACK IN STRIDE AGAIN ๐Ÿ™‚ ๐Ÿ™‚ ๐Ÿ™‚

No doubt, I PRAY and long for God to send me a man who has already converted… I know things WILL be Soooooo much BETTER… we can PRAY and fellowship TOGETHER, I won’t have to worry about HIM cheating, because the conviction within will tear him ALL to pieces. Reading the Bible as one would be POWERFUL, because God delights in marriage. Therefore, the revelation knowledge from on high would be mind boggling… But, I’d ENJOY every second of it ๐Ÿ™‚ ๐Ÿ™‚ ๐Ÿ™‚

In fact, God’s word says “How can two walk TOGETHER unless they agree” and I always think about that passage of scripture whenever problems arise with US, and I honestly consider breaking it off with HIM at times… But, sum always pulls me BACK. But, for ANY grasping advice from this post… I’d rather you wait on marriage until you’re both genuinely walking upright before God, so that He can lead, guide and direct the both of you on HOW to treat one another.

It’s MORE to marriage then mere intimacy… God WILL show you how to enjoy each other on dates, vacations or JUST sitting around the house play fighting, cuddling while watching a movie, board games, and most importantly dating MUST Neeeeeevvvveeerr cease… it don’t matter that you’ve been together for umpteen years… spending quality alone time TOGETHER outside the bedroom is essential to healthy marriages.

Then, we have the issue of HIM indulging in elicit drugs… my therapist and one of my girlfriends thinks that’s a numero uno deal breaker… I beg to differ, as crazy as it may seem… actually he’s at his best when he’s euphoric… I become his queen literally. I get my food brought to me at bedside, the entire house gets thoroughly cleaned, and his personality is way calmer and KEEPS us at PEACE. And he makes a good point, doctors, lawyers, police and even congressmen smoke… I have NO clue of the validity in that statement, but for ALL it’s worth, him being HIGH don’t affect me and he’s NOT sabotaging things in and around OUR house… so, I don’t trip too bad ๐Ÿ™‚ ๐Ÿ™‚ ๐Ÿ™‚

Nevertheless, once Jesus gets a grip on Him, ALL that’s gone FALL off. I didn’t do drugs, but I was a terrible alcoholic before, I’m talking violent and chaotic… unbearable to even be around, and God TOTALLY delivered me… Soooooo, I’m convinced my husband is soon to come THROUGH this mess the enemy is using to deter him from what’s Godly right for HIM. I just continue to let my light shine before HIM and eventually he’ll notice my good works and glorify OUR father IN heaven… God got US, HE promised NEVER to put MORE on US than WE can bear… And I reiterate, as long as ALL is well with me and my babies, then I CAN stick in here WITH him until his day of salvation.

Jesus saves!!!

U say “IMPOSSIBLE”… God says it’s on its way!!!

It’s NOT about what you know… But, rather WHO you know, and I repetitively decree and declare that Imma child of God, an heir of God and a joint heir with Christ Jesus ๐Ÿ™‚ ๐Ÿ™‚ ๐Ÿ™‚ Noooooooooo good thing shall EVER be withheld from me.

Daily my DADDY is teaching me how to walk in this newness, I mean everything about you MUST convert WHEN you give YOUR life to Christ wholeheartedly. God WILL show you how NOT to settle for functioning in dysfunction… before, I was a total wreck, worrying about this, and trynna fix that… “NO MORE” God says to me, instead I am to worry about nothing and PRAY about everything ๐Ÿ™‚ ๐Ÿ™‚ ๐Ÿ™‚

God is showing me that His Favor is ALL over me, and Blessings are IN deed tracking me down. ALL God needs from me besides my sanctification and righteousness, is for me to be transparent with HIM about my desires… HE says “write the vision and MAKE it plain!” Because I’m destined for wealth, healthy living and success… God gives me the opportunity to let HIM know exactly how I WANT my mansion to look… even down to the furniture, curtains, nick nacks and artwork.

Fam, if you’ve given YOUR life to Christ and you’re confident that you’re at least trying YOUR hardest to walk upright before HIM, then TRUST and believe that you’re fearfully and wonderfully made, and NO good thing shall EVER be withheld from you either… what God does for one of His, He’ll DO for ALL. Day by day God is shedding low self esteem, negative thinking, problems, hate, envy, strife and jealousy from me… It’s NOT of HIM… therefore, it has NO place in me ๐Ÿ™‚ ๐Ÿ™‚ ๐Ÿ™‚

My DADDY determines I shall live an abundant, prosperous and FAITH filled LIFE, and Noooooooooo weapon formed against me shall prosper. Kinda cliche right??? “NO MORE” living average or in poverty… feeling like JUST making it is ok… mediocrity isn’t in my DNA… My DADDY owns the cattle on a thousand hills… and what father don’t WANT the best for his child???

Fam, monitor the way you think… tell YOUR children and yourself constantly ALL good things are ahead… KEEP YOUR mind stayed on God, and He’ll KEEP you in perfect PEACE… Neeeeeevvvveeerr forget, an idle mind is the devil’s playground… and he’s NOT to get one second to be lackadaisical in OUR quarters point blank period!!! Adhere to the words I speak, and know that what Blessings I receive is stored up for you as well… JUST give YOUR life to Christ and He’ll MAKE it alright.

Jesus saves!!!

H.U.T. (HOLDING US TOGETHA)

This here acronym is well known to my babies, and has derived to be an uh oh moment for them. But, I don’t like that one bit, and it MUST change!!!

H.U.T. initially evolved because I wasn’t HAPPY about the fact that my children had matured into adults and were pursuing their own lives, and I didn’t get to see them as often as I wanted to, and I surprisingly was MISSING all (11) of my grandchildren. Well, to be quite honest, things haven’t improved at ALL since the plan of action was supposedly set in motion… But, that’s the reason for this post ๐Ÿ™‚ ๐Ÿ™‚ ๐Ÿ™‚

FAMILY is Ohhhhh Soooooo important to me, and I struggle with the fact that my siblings and I aren’t as close as desired, which MEANS I look even more for my IMMEDIATE family to fill the void… then, I don’t have girlfriends that I spend quality time with. So, I long for ATTENTION from my babies. Purposely, so that I don’t become a burden to them, I ONLY require that we ALL get TOGETHER once a month… Now, of course WHEN God Blesses US with MORE time TOGETHER that’s a plus.

There’s nothing like seeing my babies smiling and laughing WITH one another, while WE reminisce about old times. The uh oh moment I referred to earlier is regarding the ZERO tolerance rule that’s been in affect since each child broke through the womb… my babies are NOT allowed altercations and grudges… NO way shape, form or fashion will I EVER stand for that. As children, when sibling rivalry reared its ugly head, they had to stand in the middle of the floor hugging for hours, if NEED be, unless they quickly resolved their spat.

The ELEVEN I mentioned are growing daily, and doing new exciting things on the regular… I MUST be a part of ALL that. Noooooooooo longer am I settling for mobile phone videos and pics… H E double hockey sticks NO… I want to see those special moments in the flesh ๐Ÿ™‚ ๐Ÿ™‚ ๐Ÿ™‚ ๐Ÿ™‚ ๐Ÿ™‚ ๐Ÿ™‚ ๐Ÿ™‚

God is AWESOME, this morning HE had me write my sister and ask her to help me formulate a FAMILY reunion. Now, that’ll suffice the entire FAMILY coming TOGETHER… But, won’t replace my expectations for FAMILY orientation amongst my clan… sorry, but you won’t get off that easy!!!

The entire summer, ALL I did was cringe EVERY time I opened Facebook, because families, that WE have known for years, was doing da mug… turnt up – TOGETHER, like they were suppose to be… I’m talking bout endless pics, representing the fun and happiness they were experiencing… Noooooooooo MORE, from this day forward, my babies BETTER get ready, cause it’s on and popping… EVERY month WE will be hooking up, the whole lineage -TOGETHER doing sum big… I won’t have it NO other way.

Shoot, my grandchildren WILL know, by mimicking US, how to interact with each other once they make their own families… I WANT them to be able to say… “Man, ALL I remember was my Nana made ALL us get TOGETHER monthly and do something fun, and I really appreciated OUR time together… Soooooo, I’m implementing the same course of action for me and mine”

“Train up a child in the way they should go, and WHEN they’re older, they won’t depart from it” Reciprocation and repetition is essential for growing babies… they witness reciprocated love and happiness amongst the adults in their atmosphere and environment… As they reach adulthood they’ll carry on in the same manner. Also, if the outings and togetherness is repetitious, they’ll see that interactions with FAMILY MEMBERS has to be numero uno.

Love you ALL, let Jesus teach you how to KEEP your FAMILY close ๐Ÿ™‚ ๐Ÿ™‚ ๐Ÿ™‚

Jesus saves!!!

God enticed EUPHORIA

This song right here thrusts me into the very PRESENCE of God, where I can receive from Him.

Before, I use to only hear members at church proclaiming how they spent time with God, and was Blessed with revelation knowledge about different things they were experiencing, and I was skeptical for MANY years, only because I hadn’t had the pleasure of making acquaintance with Him in the same realm.

But, as of yesterday I am no longer a skeptic… the Spirit of God was ALL over me, anointing me with MORE wisdom & understanding. I mean it was a Glorious experience that I wouldn’t trade for the world.

I was ushered before His THRONE, only for Him to continually make me aware of how much He loves me, in spite of my procrastination. My eyes kept filling with tears, but I was sitting at my desk, so I couldn’t Worship in the manner I wanted to. Had I been in my secret place, I’d stretched out prostrate before Him, and thanked Him for ALL the MANY blessings that He’s bestowed upon me and my babies.

On too MANY occasions, He’s made ways outta NO way for us, and just the mere thoughts of it had me on cloud nine. TRUST me, it’s nuttin like spending time with your heavenly father, NOT to beg for things. But, rather to express gratitude for what He’s already done.

God is AWESOME in how HE shows forth bouts of Mercy and Grace in our lives, even when we barely appreciate His Goodness… Sad, to say! But, most of the time, God becomes OUR spare tire, so to say. We ONLY look to Him in times of desperation… Soooooo UNFAIR!!! We definitely MUST do BETTER… He loves US, and will NEVER turn His back on us. However, He deserves reciprocation… make it your priority to thank Him daily, and ask for guidance on how you can assist… once you do this, it opens up the doors for you to be the vessel He’ll use to make His impact on this chaotic world. Salvation is essential, and so MANY of us are strays… that crushes God. It’s Neeeeeevvvveeerr been in His plan for OUR lives, to have us living any other way then TOTALLY at PEACE and successful. Allow Him in, and watch the difference evolve.

I can’t stress much MORE, the importance of giving yourself wholeheartedly away to God, for Him to use you and for your service you’ll surely receive unthinkable benefits… love you ALL. I’m excited about OUR new found transformation, and I speak in FAITH that you’ll take heed to my writings, and walk with me, as I follow Him.

TRANSITION (Unpretty >>>>> BEAUTIFUL)

All my life I had a terrible complex about my looks, and the craziness inside my head had me doing all kinds of obnoxious things just to become as popular as my peers. I hated going to school each day, because I got teased constantly, which made me fight nearly everyday, and that violent mindset grew on me; following me not only into my adolescent years, but also into adulthood as well… SMH. Sad case though, is the fact that I still struggle with thoughts of being unattractive, and the stigmatism causes me to be more secluded and isolated. In a nutshell, I blame the way I feel about myself on the adversary. It’s his job to “Kill, Steal and Destroy,” and that’s exactly what he attempts to do to my mind.

However…

This is what God is daily showing me about myself… In spite of all I’ve been through… No matter what the mirror reveals… I AM BEAUTIFUL, inside and out!!! God looks at the heart, NOT the outer appearance. So, from this day forward… My confidence EXPLODES, and I’m determined to walk with my head held high DECLARING & PROCLAIMING this chick is indeed Beautiful… Neither Bipolar nor Lucifer can convince me otherwise… And, likewise for any of you who suffer with feelings of inadequacy in ANY arena of life… Bookmark this post and hold it dear to your heart… Now, BE HAPPY…

Ordinary vs Extraordinary

Can’t wait for my mansion… it’s coming, I even envision its structure, smell and atmosphere (peaceful, sweet aroma, quiet and humongous… everything I’ve dreamed of… “Faith is the substance of things hoped for, and the evidence of things not seen” – I’m a child of God and an heir of God and a joint heir with Christ Jesus… Soooooo, NO good thing shall EVER be withheld from me ๐Ÿ™‚ NO MORE thinking ordinary, my God is immaculate, I can do and have anything extraordinary I want!!!

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