Children, I am coming to DC to get married. Each of you take out your debit cards. I’m in love wit a dude I met on a dating site, we eventually became friends on Facebook, had long chats on a well-known web app. He proposed to me on Skype and now we’ve had two months of a meaningful relationship through Viber. Sooooooo, I need your Blessings, good wishes, and Imma need y’all financially because this time around I want a BIG/HUGE wedding. This is the kicker though: We’ve decided to get married on Twitter, have our honeymoon on Tango… Buy a couple children off Amazon; we gon pay for em through PayPal, and when I’m sick and tired and fed up with my new hubby… Imma sell him on eBay