I know sooooooo well how to counsel, advise and help everyone stay strong and show forth Faith in the midst of tests. But, when the tables turn I get sooooooo weak and act out… I hate, hate, hate this about myself.

I gotta record myself ministering to others or something, and be able to quickly playback the audio, to defeat the enemy, by not getting depressed or stressed, and prove to him that I do in fact trust God to do just what He says and really and truly believe it in my heart of hearts also.

The darts just keep coming so fast, that it’s hard to get my footing. And the Holy Spirit is immaculate, because He’s teaching right as I’m typing and I’m now able to see the good in my situation either way.

Point at hand: I allowed myself to be scammed Friday, something I always kept a defense against ordinarily, and would’ve never been so naive. But, these people seemed so convincing… Really had a call back number, answering as IRS and appeared to really be in a legit call center and all, and my husband had in fact applied for financial aid. So, I fail for it SMH.

Low and behold, the monies were placed on a greendot card, and I was feeling better because one young lady got my hopes up by having me email her documents to prove I was the initial card holder and in deed was a victim of fraud. But, I got a disturbing reply this morning, that tore me all to pieces. Thus, making me shun and be mean to my husband all over again… When I wasted the entire Friday already in despair and acting ugly… Took off from work, causing myself more loss, wouldn’t eat… Just in the dumps wanting a pity party I guess and for him to feel terrible… I know better, but I couldn’t get myself outta the stupor.

Not today, just as the Holy Spirit showed me… My father is rich and owns the cattle on a thousand hills… He can bring back that and more money and it don’t have to be from greendot… I just have to trust and believe and be ever so careful not to lash out while I wait!!! I can’t lie, I’m humanly mad at the fact that both individuals are able to get away with their actions and my hands are inadvertently tied. The scammers can’t be found and greendot are rightfully doing this to me because of clauses in their policy that cover them SMH… I don’t feel it’s right one bit though, especially since I have proof that I have the card in my possession and the people who falsely registered the card and used the funds cannot produce the same proofs ggggrrrrrrhhhhhh… Tests are hard. But, with the help of the Holy Spirit we’ll pass and eventually benefit from doing what’s right no matter what we face.

BnfEnT (CEO Son Son – DMV)