Post from HCUMABH 9/1/12

At one point, I would spend countless hours analyzing myself, trying to figure out what was wrong internally, that caused constant problems in my relationships.

I will admitt, I like all others have flaws, and I can tend to be a bit dominate at times. But, to repeatedly meet with disappointment is ridiculous, and I haven’t a clue what the issue is.

While reflecting on myself, I considered my physique to be the primary culprit. So, I got my weight in tact, and happiness re-kindled. But, before long he was gone again. Then, I assumed it had to be my overbearing demeanor. So, I took on the back-seat occupant role of the relationship for a while, and I let my mate drive us for some eight miserable months; to no avail. Let me tell you, that obnoxious ordeal was short lived, and I eventually found myself by myself, and really contemplating suicide.

After a while, I began asking God if He ultimately wanted me alone, because He had other plans for my life. But, I can’t see that being the predicament, because He made woman from and for man… Which indicates that there IS somebody out here for me. I’m just missing the mark somehow.

To sum it all up, I’m not living in this realm of confusion by my lonesome, and I’m asking for input, so that we, who are hurt, can come out of our emotional bondage, and find TRUE happiness. Don’t be shy, we can all benefit from each others testimonies.

#TEAMHOWTOMENDMYBROKENHEART

BnfEnT (CEO Son Son – DMV)

Cry me a river (((((TEARS)))))

I hate moments like this, when I see my baby trying sooooooo hard to win a contest, in pursuit of his dream. I just wish I had the magic wand, so I could zap him into the place of success that he desires.

As mothers, we always wanna kiss our baby’s ouchies, encourage them when they’re down, nourish them back to health when they’re under the weather… But, this endeavor right here is beyond my reach, and it crushes me.

He’s my ONLY boy, and has Neeeeeevvvveeerr given me any trouble… In fact, he lifted the weight off me, as a single struggling Mom, rather early, by 14 years old he was totally providing for himself, and has kept the same momentum up to this very day.

Generally, anything he sets out to accomplish he drops jaws in amazement. But, this industry that he’s embarking upon ain’t very friendly and easy to tap into. There’s something we just ain’t doing quite so right or shall I say what we were doing… As of today, I give it ALL over to Christ, and watch Him direct our paths.

I was reluctant all these years because my son’s music choice falls within the lines of secular entertainment, and I didn’t feel apt to Pray on his behalf because of it. Then I realized, God loves and knows us ALL!!! The skills, talents and gifts my son possesses came from Him. Of course, I believe things would move much quicker if he were glorifying God with his music. Nonetheless, it’s my child, and I’m determined to Pray his strength, believe in and support him.

God knows better than me 🙂

BnfEnT (CEO Son Son – DMV)