Write the VISION and make it plain!!!

Well, reality just kicked in that this will be harder than I thought. But, if it’d be easy I wouldn’t need Jesus to see it through!!!

I refuse to get upset and angry, because obstacles seem to be too much for me. God gives VISIONS and He’ll also bring about provision. Rome wasn’t built overnight… Likewise, this well needed ministry will take time to come together.

There’s a lot I didn’t factor in. The most important factor is that hurting people are all around the globe and I’m just one person in one state ggggrrrrrrhhhhhh. I thought in terms of using the worldwide web to see this through. But, some feedback I just got has changed my train of thought!!!

Then, he/she is right, who could I possibly pay enough money, to sit by the phone late hours waiting on calls??? My only thoughts is to stop suicide at any cost… And unless you’ve been affected by it in one way or another you probably won’t be as sensitive to it and apt to jump in and lend a hand.

I don’t even care to profit from this… I just want it working sooooooo badly SMH. Once again I want my magic wand or I go back to if only I were rich!!! If so, I’d hire people and pay them large amounts to save hurting people. I’ve been in that same place twelve miserable disgusting times. And while I’m at a stable place in my life I wanna do what I see to be necessary to help. I reiterate, the system don’t have a working plan trust me… I’ve been in several institutions and you’re just sitting there day to day, wasting away… Taking ridiculous medications, drawing or coloring… How is that fixing your issue??????? Come on people… Help me pull this together… I need you like Neeeeeevvvveeerr before.

shootahdcpassion's avatarDa UGLY Ducklin -IN DA LIFE OF PASSION

After experiences with suicidal thoughts firsthand, then seeing how prevalent it is with celebrities and others who one would think are established and shouldn’t even be experiencing such problems that’ll ever make them feel worthless, hopeless or inadequate. But, that further proves that suicidal tendencies has nuttin to do with how much money you have nor does popularity make a difference. Hurting people are everywhere… And I wanna HHHEEEELLLLPPPP!!!

Alone No More

Is a non profit organization I wanna structure, that will operate 24 hrs a day and have an app attached to it, do that none will have to waste time dialing numbers to get help. What if they’ve already taken the pills or injured themselves, but have a change of heart, and too weak to dial out. This app will stay on the home screen (widget) and instantly a live counselor pops up and will be able to…

View original post 389 more words

by shootahdcpassion

Write the VISION and make it plain!!!

After experiences with suicidal thoughts firsthand, then seeing how prevalent it is with celebrities and others who one would think are established and shouldn’t even be experiencing such problems that’ll ever make them feel worthless, hopeless or inadequate; further proves that suicidal tendencies has nuttin to do with how much money you have nor does popularity make a difference. Hurting people are everywhere… And I wanna HHHEEEELLLLPPPP!!!

Alone No More

Is a non profit organization I wanna structure, that will operate 24 hrs a day and have an app attached to it, so that none will have to waste time dialing numbers to get help. What if they’ve already taken the pills or injured themselves, but have a change of heart, and too weak to dial out. This app will stay on the home screen (widget) and instantly a live counselor pops up and will be able to get your exact location, so long as GPS and location are both engaged on your device.

Also, with the app, say for instance you’re merely in the beginning phase of your plan, and you’re maybe able to just talk to someone and perhaps get to feeling better altogether. The counselor will either spend the needed time with you themselves or get someone local to respond to your location, in case you prefer face to face interactions.

Alone No More

Will have 24 hrs private prayer closets throughout the cities, for anyone to drop in as needed whenever, and they can choose whether they’d like for someone to pray with/for them or they want to spend time with God alone. Yes, we can pray anywhere. But, some people feel better in places that’s dedicated to/for the primary purpose of prayer.

Alone No More

Will either be staffed (on standby) at hospitals and and psychiatric associations, because everybody don’t just need to be medicated and locked on a ward, left alone to still think about your problems. Rather, talking it through is more helpful. Every time I’ve been committed the actual facility I was in did nuttin beneficial for me, aside from food, arts and crafts, an abundance of snacks and tons of mind altering drugs. The crazy thing is you end up lying, and saying your issue has diminished, just so you can finally get home. But, the problem just goes right with you. Instead, Alone No More will take the time to get to the root of your issue, and help you with therapy that surpasses sitting on a couch, going over family history and all the shenanigans. The time together will be spent doing whatever you enjoy, yet while still rectifying your problem. You’ll gain a new helpful friend.

However, this VISION will be expensive and time consuming. I need help writing proposals and staff to work with, ideas on how to turn these thoughts into reality. I can’t do this by myself, although I can see exactly how it should be structured. It’s gon take a committed team of US to pull this together. Come along and let’s put an end to suicide as best we know how… Giving the love that’s needed one click of the app at a time.

BnfEnT (CEO Son Son – DMV)

by shootahdcpassion

Stranger Danger… Ruuunnnnn >>>>>>>

All eleven of my grand babies know this term Ohhhhh tooooooo well. And Nooooooo doubt they take it serious and are always on guard and constant alert. In the same, children and adolescents are taught about this all the more, as they are allowed to enter the cyber world, with the remembrance of the many disgusting predators lurking to devour them.

Growing up, in my era, it was nuttin for young ladies who were either tooooooo lazy to walk or had Nooooooo money for public transportation, to take rides from whom ever offered. But, that quickly died down, when it actually panned out that we were in fact in danger by taking what was supposed to be a generous ride from a stranger turned deadly. Men and even young boys started taking advantage of the opportunity to over power random females and not only kidnap and rape them. But, kill them too SMH!!!

Thank God times have changed and surfing the web has its perks and benefits. And I learned to appreciate it all the more in 2006, when I was too downtrodden to even pull myself outta the bed to seek help for my troubled mind and broken heart. Instead I took to Google, in search of “Online support groups”. That was an amazing experience for me… Although I didn’t particularly find exactly what I needed using those search terms, all was still well. Because God helped me use my wits and HCUMABH was formed, and within months it was flooded with member requests… People were then and still are hurting geeeesssssshhhhh!!! I’m not alone after all 🙂

Nonetheless, my real reason for posting on this topic arose simply from the love, encouragement and support I receive on my new site Da Ugly Ducklin which is connected to WordPress. They’re Nooooooo strangers at all!!! Our interactions are more interpersonal and they always take the bold stance of using their personal testimonies to make me feel better, thus showing me you’re not suffering by yourself… We’re going through the exact same or similar issue as you, and together we’ll conquer these obstacles. I love it!!! What do you call so called strangers, who care like they do, with sooooooo much concern and compassion for your well being???

I know Nooooooo better than to call them FRIEND… Who cares about distance, class, race or demographical background. People like that deserve awards, especially because the acts of generosity is genuine… Let me tell each of you firsthand… I love and appreciate you all, and I hate that it sounds sooooooo cliché. But, just know that it comes from waaaaaayyyyyyy deep down in my heart… And remember Heaven smiles upon you and yours for the good works you do here… Keep up the GOOD work 🙂

BnfEnT (CEO Son Son – DMV)

by shootahdcpassion

Post from HCUMABH 2/19/14

I felt compelled to share with you what horrific experience I endured last week, and some of you may have watched it all unfold, yet while other’s will read about it for the first time tonight.

I went through a break up on the 14th that sent me for a loop, and what made it different than any other is the fact that coupled with the overwhelms of emotions, I attempted suicide for the umpteenth time, and it also panned out way far different than before. And as I continue, you’ll understand better where I’m going with this. But, as I write this to you I’m shaking like I suffer from Parkinson’s disease, but it’s merely the affects of the medicine they pumped me up with and the drugs I consumed in my dumb attempt.

I keep asking God why I have to always be lonely, and His reply, one that I’ll finally accept is plainly “you’re not alone, you’re just being savored for Me”. People, I’m 43, and have always been domineering, Soooooo for me to find myself begging for my mommy, while strapped to a hospital bed gave me the biggest wake up call ever. I quickly realized I was no longer in control, and had to be subjected to whatever they did to me… scared me out of my wits.

Point at hand, in God revealing to me that I’m His, I came to the conclusion that all the creativity within shall be used for His purposes, and I was taking back to the very day I started this group, even then it was adamant for me to be doing what God wanted, but I was running.

NO MORE, or I won’t have to take my own life, He’ll do the work for me, and more than likely without warning, and I probably won’t be ready. My problem with surrendering was the fear that I’d live a boring life… as it is now, who cares! I say yes to His will hands down. Trust me, I won’t be missing anything, but the drama that was Neeeeeevvvveeerr good for me from the start.

I’m mad at myself for all the promises I’ve made in this group, but failed to fulfill… please forgive me. Starting tonight, that will change, the power moves that I’ll make for God will integrate the group. While locked away, I seen just how needed this group really is, but not in its dead state, that’s why I must get myself together, Soooooo this group will be what it’s intended to be.

BnfEnT (CEO Son Son – DMV)

by shootahdcpassion

Post from HCUMABH 12/2/13

Update: 5/16/15 We’re together and doing marvelous… Prayer deftly changes things!!!

I think my biggest hurt comes because I don’t have discernment, and I was totally wrong thinking that him coming back into my life after a ten years gap was a divine miracle, but this morning proves I was only fooling myself. I wanted it to work so bad I just didn’t care about any of the signs that showed me it wasn’t of God… I was just tired of being lonely.

I almost feel like being angry with God, even though I don’t walk upright before Him as regularly as I should, doesn’t mean I need to suffer like this… it’s embarrassing. I have my room door locked, so I know my family thinks I’ve been sleeping peaceful all night… but Lil do they know, this pain is probably one of the worst ones I’ve ever had to endure… narcotics couldn’t even knock me out.

The crazy thing though, I have friends and family members who can stay in relationships for years on end, and they won’t even attempt to seek the face of God… but I have Him at the forefront of my life, and repetitive break ups is my destiny.

Back when I was going through those years of suicide attempts, when I first started this group, trust me, it wasn’t because I was weak… because I know my worth, and I realize I CAN make it without a man financially… but that’s not the case… the point is I don’t want to!!! It’s hard going from watching t.v. with someone, cuddled up in their arms… y’all cracking your sides at the same time to the funny parts, or you both get teary eyed simultaneously… once that significant other is gone, t.v. is now a thing you hate… which causes a domino effect to occur, because now depression is working its way into your realm… SMH!!!

But, this is the kicker… although the problems were on and off between he and I, I purposely would over look them because I honestly believed our connection to be of God, since we married the first time in 1998, then again in 2000… calling ourselves renewing our vows, in an effort to have a new slate… in June 2003, God blessed me with a good job, that not only paid good, but it was interesting enough to aide in me being able to wean myself off of him, and there was absolutely no contact until March 2013, when I used this exact venue that I’m posting to right now to track him down, and the rest is self explanatory I guess!!!

Nevertheless, I still have to believe that God has a plan even in this pain I’m going through.

BnfEnT (CEO Son Son – DMV)

by shootahdcpassion

Post from HCUMABH 2/26/14

GM Heartmenders 🙂

Prayerfully all is well with each of you, as for me, life couldn’t be better. NO, everything’s not perfect, but it don’t look like it use to and I have great expectations for the days to come. Starting today, I’ve decided to wholeheartedly TRUST God with my entire life, more than I did in the past. Before, I somewhat gave Him my all, but it was too easy for me to stray. This time around, I’m SOLD OUT, NO turning back, and my desire is to take each one of you with me, as I journey through life in peace and harmony… secure in my mind that God and the heavenly bodies are with me and won’t allow any of US to dash/gash our foot against a stone.

Am I promising you a problem free life going forward? No indeed!!! In fact, I’ll honestly tell you that trials are destined to occur. But, know that is the evidence that we’re walking the straight and narrow… just be sure NOT to deviate. Yes, temptations will rise and you may FALL short, it’s normal my love, just don’t waller in it… immediately get back up, REPENT, and grab our Father’s hand and proceed on.

Each day, before your feet touch the ground, make it a habit to Thhhaaannnkkk God for new life, invite Him into your day, and ask Him to guide and guard every part of your being, and place a covering over your love ones. Then, move into action, allowing Him to have his way with you, of course, follow your routine as normal, taking care of your hygiene and diet, still exercise if you always did, make all your same phone calls and go on to work. The only difference is your quiet conversations with God, that helps you with decision making. For me, I have a spending problem, that arises even more so when I’m bored or sunken… that changes today, as I walk in any store from now on, my prayer will be “Daddy, You know what I need, anything is of no importance, so don’t let me spend unnecessarily”. Likewise, ask Him to aide in your life, in whatever area you struggle. To add, find a point when you open up to be used by Him, for His purpose… just say “Daddy, You’ve been Soooooo good to me and mine, now direct me to do something for You; it’s my pleasure to serve”.

Fam, I know I never finished the series I started about intriguing your man… my bad!!! But, who knows if that was the correct message for me to convey, maybe God will take us back to it or He may lead us somewhere else totally… just be patient with me and enjoy the ride… as always, I love you all to pieces 🙂

BnfEnT (CEO Son Son – DMV)

by shootahdcpassion

Post from HCUMABH 1/19/14

I’m back… at work and can only write during breaks, so bear with me.

Nonetheless, back to what I was conveying earlier; before I jump back to it, I wanna give you some history.

When this group evolved some nearly five years ago, I was probably worse off than I am now and surely didn’t think I’d live to see myself be the supportive individual that God allowed me to soon become, and I say soon, because we (HCYMABH) are about to excel.

Back on the very day I sat at my computer and formulated this group, I had no idea what I was doing, and just how it would even turn out, and even with all my slack, I can proudly say we’re 2k strong, and I look forward to us growing in leaps.

However, the day I spoke about was the day I was released from a mental institution, and actually my first time ever attempting suicide, I couldn’t believe that was the route I took, considering I always thought I could conquer anything. The way I was living my life, back then, you would’ve thought I was in jail for homicide vs me being the victim.

Long story short, after leaving, I still wasn’t feeling up to par, so I looked for support groups in my area to help me cope, but nothing was local, so I searched online to no avail. Then God dropped it in my spirit to start my own… I did and here we are. Except I haven’t been faithful to the group, and that’s none other than a trick of the enemy, who caused me to get sidetracked, by sending temporary relationships my way, to keep me from ever getting the good news out to everyone. But, all that’s out the window now… I’m back focused. But, I’ll have to come back later again, breaks over… but do keep a look out for the following posts, because it’s bout to get juicy… stay tuned.

BnfEnT (CEO Son Son – DMV)

by shootahdcpassion