GET RID OF BILL COLLECTAHZ 4EVAH #okkkkrrrrttt #paydatshityourfuckinself #MINDYOURFUCKINBIZNESS #leavemedafuqalone #putemonnashirt4Passion #pluckemoff4Passion #pressemout4Passion #wipeanigganose #savagemode #shootahdcpassion #staywoke
I real DID NOT wanna do another video 📹 pertaining to this particular subject so fast, but people dafuq irri and be wit da shitz, boutta make a bitch spazz liiikkkkeee a muthah fuckah.. Why, just why do errybody keep trying dey hand? #nocap I’m truly at my breaking point. I really want yall to listen to dis shit and give your honest opinion… The fuckery is on overload #getdastrap. I don’t mind paying for anything that’s worth my 💰💳🗞️💲 but for you to arbitrarily TAKE from me and think 🤔 shit sweet ohhhhhh nah PASSION gon nut da fuck up and rightfully so, and I’m sure many of you will agree… Just listen to da specifics smh… I’m absolutely devastated bout how I’m being cold carried #PERIODTT
Please allow me to apologize for being inconsistent, that’s absolutely horrible and unacceptable on my part, and most certainly not the least bit OK, in the eyes of God, and I can assure you that I’m back, full throttle and for the long haul.
I’ve wasted so much time over the years, searching for MY niche, thinking of ways to make videos for you guys, with so many different topics, thinking that I’m finally adhering to His beckoning, not even realizing whole time, that none of this… My misery, pain, hurt, anger, anguish, trials, tribulations, setbacks, ministries, platforms, followers, the website, and so on and so on, was ever about me, and what I could gain nor recoup from it all. But, rather I’m just a mere conduit, servant frfr, that God desires to use, to get His Message out to His people.
Da Ugly Ducklin, The Transparent ME, H.U.T., TMOB, Alone NO MORE, Sister Sistah Connection, and neither HCYMABH all belong to God, and are only vehicles He’ll use, for me to carry out His Work, as it is and has always been ordained for me to do.
Today, I spent some quality time, looking back over, a few posts from 2009, on Facebook, in the group How Can You Mend A Brokenheart, and I was overly amazed and thankful for all the people who really interacted back then, and more excited about all those who’ve remained loyal, in spite of my lack, in keeping the group active and flourishing. Thanks guys… You mean the world to me and God, and I promise you once again, that I’m Back In Stride Again, and this time with a vengeance… Legggggoooo 🤣 💯 😂 👍
I can feel myself getting jealous, angry and nearly bitter towards ALL the people in my office who’s happily making six figures, driving fancy cars that are either paid for or for sure the notes ain’t backed up. And the same goes for their homes, they’re ALWAYS walking around talking bout meeting with realtors and either successfully paying off their houses or about to buy a SECOND home ggggrrrrrrhhhhhh.
This afternoon when I was leaving I was sooooooo hurt,I didn’t want nobody looking at me, make less saying stuff to me… Normally we ALL day drive safe, see you in the morning… Buuuuuutttttttt, today I just wasn’t myself, and acted like the Grinch who stole Christmas. Bad thing though, it ain’t even the people’s fault who I was shunning SMH.
So, I felt God leading me to my PO Box. So, I’m assuming definitely it’s either a letter about one of the jobs or an apartment is coming through, to make me feel better, since I was in a terrible stupor… NOT!!!
I just shook my head and said… “Yet will I trust YOU” Ultimately, that’s exactly what it’s ALL about, the enemy trynna break me down to the point where I Nooooooo longer see God as Worthy of ALL Praise, Honor and Glory, because He’s arbitrarily leaving me in this chaotic mess I’m experiencing… And I’m not able to see nooooooo evidence whatsoever of Him actively working things out on my behalf SMH. Still, I won’t waver in my Faith… He promised to Neeeeeevvvveeerr leave me nor forsake be, and He’s a God Who cannot and will not lie. Sooooooo, that means what I need is for sure for sure coming… Buuuuuutttttttt, whenever He’s ready to deliver and set me free from the bondage that I haphazardly got myself into.
In all that I’m going through, I’m allowing God to teach me humility. Who am I to walk around with a chip on my shoulders, acting as if nobody has a right to talk to me or give me direction, Nooooooo matter their status or lack thereof.
There’s certain ways about me that must change before I can expect to receive anything from God. He nor no one else owes me anything. So, this prideful attitude I attain has to go!!!
Then, the biggest problem is the fact that I act out towards people because of the things I’ve been told beforehand about them SMH, and I just nearly had the same thing happen to me at work, but God showed forth Mercy. I love it when God shows me things about me that He don’t like, because that proves I am in fact His… He chastens who He loves… Therefore Daddy clean me up, until I have the mindset that pleases You.
Here I am in need of sooooooo much, but I have the audacity to get smart with people, just because I feel like I don’t wanna be bothered, it ain’t right and won’t be tolerated, in the eyes of God… And anything that’s not fitting for Him cannot and will not be a part of my life either!!!
Change has to take place, not only because I need a home, more hours at work and debt clearing help. But, more so because I wanna be the devout woman of God He has called me to become and desires for me to be… Love You Daddy and thanx for leading, guiding and directing me… In Jesus name Amen 🙂 🙂 🙂
Surely everyone readied themselves to read about how God is Omnipotent, Omnipresent, and Omniscient… Of course, He’s all those and more, and the aforementioned is reason enough to love Him dearly the way I do.
But, let me tell you how bad I messed up today. My husband, who’s NOT a Christian, but has been going through this chaos with me over the past three days got the worst of me ever this morning, and although I apologized wholeheartedly, he’s still LITERALLY lookin at me sideways, and rightfully so.
Regardless of what has impacted our lives, we MUST never allow the enemy to get us that angry through another person, and it’s true, my husband probably did deserve the wrath he received, because the things he was saying was totally obnoxious, hurtful, rude, condescending… The whole gist, I mean he so much as called me trifling for us going through what we were, and that sent me fire mad.
Now, God says be angry but sin NOT… Can someone Plllleeeeeaaaaassssseeee HHHEEEELLLLPPPP me understand what we’re to do in a split second… When someone is kicking you while you’re already down so to say!!!
I put emphasis on “he’s watching” because the look on his face after the outlandish explosion, came from me, was as if he had seen a ghost, and he really hasn’t uttered a word since… It makes me laugh, to myself, to see him kind of fearful of me… I doubt that seriously. It’s just pure shock, and that’s my point! Our families, coworkers and unsaved acquaintances expect better from us.
For real, we’re the ONLY God they see and know. But, if we act like that, what’s the reason for salvation… Let’s go family… I need feedback today!!!
I’m so angry at myself, even though he looks like a scared lost puppy and it makes me snicker… Forgive me Daddy!!! It’s NOT one bit funny, and mind you I deftly repented.
BnfEnT (CEO Son Son – DMV)
Like Alone No More, this national program has analyzed technology and realized that the mediums that are widely used these days are face-to-face interactions (face time, ovoo, and Skype) to name a few. Text messaging, which they’ve intelligently integrated and is seeing that it’s working well, kudos to you guys. And also, apps on mobile devices (kindles, iPads, tablets and cellular phones) are also easily accessed and widespread… That’s why Alone No More will couple the app and face-to-face interactions together. Allowing the hurting person to instantly tap into a live supporter, who will talk to them, Pray for them and guide them to resources necessary to bring them back to a place of stabilization.
As this program admits at the end of their posts, that the people who are assisting the people who’s benefiting from their services are NOT therapists. But, rather they’re helping in the same manner we intend to, just by different, yet similar methods.
Regardless of the tactic, this is further evidence that hurting people need and want help, and prefer not to actually go in to a hospital or even a private office with doctors and other forms of trained professionals. They’d like it better if they can text or link through an app. Therefore, please donate and share this link… Help us come together to help others.
A Facebook group I started in 2008, during the most desperate and desolate point of my life, while in need of like minded supporters.
I was lonely, angry, sad, suicidal and down right hopeless!!! This congregation of hurting people helped me heal, and I returned the favor. Today, the group is flourishing, and I feel bad that I’m not as active as before, because my marriage is better than I could’ve ever imagined. So, I don’t really have much to write about.
Nevertheless, I gotta realize that I made a commitment, and as long as they need me I have to be there for them, just as they were for me years ago… It’s all about creativity, even if it means surfing the web, until I find relevant information to share, then that’s what it’ll be… Because I will not shut them out, no matter how good things go in my life!!! Neeeeeevvvveeerr forget where you came from.
BnfEnT (CEO Son Son – DMV)
I’m sooooooo numb, but not suicidal!!! I’m waiting to see just what God is going to do in the upcoming seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks, months, and years. I’m simply standing on His promises.
My mother’s day ended horrific, and I blame my actions on my inability to refrain from alcohol. I have this misconception that I can’t be friendly and fun unless I’m under the influence… Totally inaccurate!!!
Two days have passed, and I just apologized, but I wasn’t even the initial aggressor. Nonetheless, if I expect anything from God, I gotta ALWAYS be the bigger person, and it don’t seem fair at all… However, obedience is deftly better than sacrifice.
Besides all that, I need a focal point for my life or I run the risk of repetitive altercations. I need some substance, and I know it’ll start once I get wholeheartedly connected with a devout group of believers. But, the obstacles are surmountable and it’s driving me insane… Sort of like a catch 22… I have to work two jobs, in order to make ends meet. But, that impedes on my ability to get grounded and rooted the way I need to ggggrrrrrrhhhhhh… SMH.
Actually, going to services would cause sleep deprivation, because of my chaotic hours at my full-time. Then, trying to do, on my own, in what spare time I force pans out under non beneficial, because in the same way, one cannot teach themselves academically, likewise I’m not able to fully grasp the Holy Word, and know what I should be doing alone.
I’m a runner by nature (when the going gets tough/rough I get going) and my life appears so pointless and inadequate in the DMV, and I feel as though I need new scenery and different opportunities!!! There’s sooooooo much inside me, both good and bad… But, I keep telling myself once I find a new spot and implement a new way of living, thinking and acting… All the overflowing good will absolutely outweigh the bad.
I get daily emails from Rick Warren and Joel Osteen, and lately I’ve been urged to find out exactly what it is that God has for me to do, and I have some ideas. But, I quickly dismiss them, because they all require time, money, energy, and/or support that I don’t possess. Low and behold, I refuse to give up, no more getting so frustrated that I result to taking my life, because I’m confused and angry!!! That’s simply the trick of the enemy.
I’m determined to wait on God… He’s got something BIG planned, and I gotta be ready for it. But, without the flare ups, at the least bit of disturbance in my life. Every day won’t be perfect, and problems WILL arise. So, I’ll stay away from liquor, which makes me react incorrectly, and keep a sober, Prayed up mind… That will allow me to go through chaos calmly, thus passing my test, and eventually moving on with God, in the realm of emotions necessary for the Blessings He had stored up for me and mine.
BnfEnT (CEO Son Son – DMV)
Complaining coupled with depression… Is not pleasing to God at all!!! But, I’m a mess right now 😦
I’m trapped in this thick black fog, and see Nooooooo waaaaaayyyyyyy out, but I know it’s minutely a trick of the enemy, and he WON’T win! I will bounce BBBBAAAAACCCCCKKKKK, and snap out of this disgusting place.
I’m more than a conqueror, I’m Blessed and highly favored 🙂 I’m a child of God… An heir of God and a joint heir with Christ Jesus.
Nooooooo good thing will God ever withhold from me. I shall muster the strength to work BOTH jobs that God has given me. My bills are covered in the blood, and therefore PAID in full. My children and grand children have all they need, and are walking upright before God. My social life is sufficient, and anything outta place shall diminish quickly… God won’t allow nothing to stagnate me and cause me dismay.
Lucifer, you’re ddddeeeeaaaadddd, I took you out some two weeks ago. Sooooooo, what attempts you’re making to place me in a long term stupor is downtrodden… I won’t be moved… I’m fine, and you’re simply a figment of my imagination.
Haaaappppyyyy again :-):-):-):-):-):-)
Follow me as I allow Christ to LEAD!!!