Category: Daily feelings

Traveling the long road HOME

Ultimately, EVERYONE wants to end up in HEAVEN opposed to thinking about spending eternity in hell, where you’ll burn forever, with no likely relief. Not to suggest that it’d ever be ok to end up there, but if you knew you were damned to burn for ONLY a certain amount of time, then maybe it wouldn’t be so scary. On the other hand, you’ll never be able to escape torment and turmoil… It will be excruciating pain and agony.

Therefore, start TODAY living your life in a way that you’re confident that you’ll be a worthy candidate for HEAVEN. And we do this by having and keeping a close relationship with God, studying His Word, Praying to & PraisingΒ Him, and following His Commandments. Making it to HEAVEN requires that we have an intimate relationship with God and accept that Jesus is His ONLY begotten Son, sent to die on the cross for the remission of our sins. That’s what Praise is all about; even if we don’t have nothing, in our minds, that brings about excitement, the mere fact Jesus suffered in our place is reason enough.

All He went through FOR US should cause us to Praise Him regularly!!! Just think of the troubles you’ve faced and near death experiences you encountered or never even have to face, simply because He paid it forward SMH. How could we even second guess living right, to show our appreciation for His sacrificial death? To me, we make a mockery of Jesus when we willfully sin and dance around with the devil on a day-to-day basis, as if what He did for us was mediocre… He was human, and the lashes He took to His flesh was REAL.

I put emphasis on TODAY because tomorrow ain’t promised to any of us… Death is adamant, there’s no question that we all will leave this earth someday. The imperative question at hand is where will our Spirit go thereafter? Choose now, to surrender your all to Christ, first thanking Him for His offering on our behalves. Then, ask Him into your heart, mind and soul, to help you live upright daily. Although, He knows our shortcomings, still confess them aloud, and allow Him the ability to help you get it right, so that you’ll be PLEASING in His sight. Earth ain’t my home! I don’t know about y’all, but I’m overjoyed about and can’t wait so see my mansion in Heaven, not only for the beauty within. But, more because I know I’ll never worry, cry, hurt, be sad, mad, envious, nor distraught again :-).

God loves us unconditionally, and it’s NOT His desire that ANY of us should live in lack or perish… Let Him in, it’s nothing like a connection with God and the reassurance that HEAVEN will eventually be your peaceful HOME. See ya there πŸ™‚

by shootahdcpassion

My failure to discern SMH… Daddy, draw me nearer

I hate the fact that I haven’t fully gotten to the place where I can totally ween out the devil being able to trick me… I wanna know that I know that I shonuff KNOW that the voices, unctions and leadings I receive daily are ALL my Daddy… If not, I run the risk of acting out inappropriately and making decisions based on my flesh and/or human desires.

Yes, I must live in this bbody. But, my hugest desire is to die to self, and walk out my life in the supernatural, to the point that I hear from God in every aspect of my life, and make minimal to no mistakes each day. Now, of course I realize I’ll never be perfect, and that’s fine. But, being Blessed with discernment helps you live a Godly life not to the best of your ability. Rather, to the best of His ability, as you allow the Holy Spirit to have total control of your thought process. It’ll amaze you how you’ll notice things outwardly and inwardly changing about you. The old way you use to handle issues will become a figment of your imagination.

I can’t take rejection, so anytime someone upset me, I have a bad habit of alienating them and that’s horrible, they’ll try to make Peace, but the built up frustration inside caused me to keep them away from me for days on in. Today though, I’m actively letting God show me how to interact with people better, and help me accept the fact that I cannot get my way all the time, and can’t isolate myself every time things get me mad.

Even I’m my marriage SMH, my husband just reminded me of how I’ve done him in the past two years and how hurtful things have been ggggrrrrrrhhhhhh… I feel sooooooo bad (((TEARS))). Nonetheless, with me being able to discern more effectively, the enemy won’t be able to trick me any longer and ultimately I’ll end up being a more pleasant person to be around and I’ll eventually know how to give and receive the love God has placed in me to share and benefit from.

by shootahdcpassion

Aunt Diane (Documentary)

This here show made me appreciate God more, simply because I have been delivered from alcohol and drugs. The events that played out in this documentary took me back to some miserable places in my life, and the tears I shed weren’t sad ones, but rather for the joyous fact that I’ll Neeeeeevvvveeerr undergo nor put myself through turmoil anymore.

Multiple DUI’s didn’t make me stop drinking and driving, and I could’ve killed one of my loving grand babies in 2010, driving erratically, at speeds reaching 91mph, I was a mess, and had no regard for human life whatsoever during this time. That’s why I can’t Praise God enough, I could be locked away for awhile or even ddddeeeeaaaadddd SMH… God is AWESOME, and He’s better to us then we are to ourselves.

Not to mention the marijuana addiction, I caused my baby daughter significant development delays at birth, but once again all Praise to God… Today she’s gainfully employed, out on her own and you wouldn’t even know she literally lived in a long term care facility for the first sixteen months if her life.

Back to the documentary… Without speculating about what actually happen that day and whether Diane intentionally took her life… One more again I have to PRAISE God for bringing me through 12 unsuccessful suicide attempts and fixing my life to the point where suicide will Neeeeeevvvveeerr be a thought that crosses my mind again. To add, there’s accusations that Daniel (her husband) was having an affair, and that led to her actions that day… God, You’re amazing, because I’ve dealt with and no longer bogged down with infidelity and adultery occurring in my marriage anymore… Daddy, You’re absolutely THE BEST!!!

But, we must seek His face and allow Him full reign in our lives, then all the issues we face He’ll handle shonuff!

by shootahdcpassion

If you’re HAPPY and you know it clap your hands… CLAP, CLAP!

Praise Is What I Do – William Murphy: http://youtu.be/vIPKnj-0Czw

God inhabits the Praises of His people. When our Praises go up, showing gratitude adoration, admiration and appreciation, undoubtedly an abundance of Blessings WILL come raining down.

We take the good God does for us for granted far too much. The food He provides, the homes we live in, the vehicles we drive, the bills we pay, the safety we enjoy, the clothes on backs, etc. None of those things do we technically deserve, it’s only because of His Grace and Mercy that we’re not consumed, and being Blessed with more than enough or at least what is sufficient to sustain us.

Even aside from all the STUFF He does for us and gives us, we can do Him the Honor of thanking Him just for Who He is in our lives… Without Him there’d be no you!!! He saw fit to breathe air into your lungs and give you life, that wasn’t His duty… Lest we should have the attitude “uhhhhhh, that’s His job” – Nooooooo pumpernickel bread… He owes us nothing, and Him providing for us definitely deserves a round of applause… I mean that’s the least we can do, considering we’re not barely getting by. Rather, we’re living an amazing, wonderful and awesome life.

Make it a practice each day, to spend the first couple of minutes Praising God, telling Him how Good He is, and thank Him for what He’s done, doing and going to do for you and yours. Plllleeeeeaaaaassssseeee, refrain from asking for anything during this time, just let Him get His shine on πŸ™‚ He loves to feel puffed up, and deserves every second of it. By the way, even if you miss the quality time with Him at the start of the day… Don’t trip, He Neeeeeevvvveeerr sleeps nor slumbers! The same way you can access Him in a state of an emergency – when in need. Likewise, He’s open for our outpour of Praise 24/7/365 as well. Sooooooo, let’s make Him HAAAAPPPPYYYY by making crescendos happen.

by shootahdcpassion

From suicide to HOMICIDE… Lucifer flat lined

Keep calm crime scene investigators… Dusting for printsΒ NOTΒ necessary! No need for forensics, ballistics nor toxicology reports… I plea NO CONTEST… I’m guilty as charged with this massive 187. This slaying tops David and Goliath and is well overdue!!!

I could claim self-defense, since he’s been nitpicking and attempting to destroy my life for umpteen years. Anyone in their right mind would agree I’m justified for this massacre πŸ™‚

All the obnoxious suicide attempts you caused, how does it feel, now that the shoe is on the other feet, and you’re bogged down, with Nooooooo control? You feel helpless right??? Do you feel like everything you’ve lived for and tried to build has been snatched out from under you… Good! What goes around comes around jerk… Karma’s a b!+©π huh???

All the sleepless nights, swollen eyes, war wounds, adultery, punches, kicks, spit in my face, sexual abuse, jail terms, loose living (sexually) and poverty I endured, because you had me brainwashed SMH!!! Nooooooo MORE πŸ™‚ The same grave you dug for me on several failed occasions you’ll rest in starting TODAY.

You’re through being my puppet master; stringing me along into every sin imaginable. And I’m extra careful to make sure you’ll Neeeeeevvvveeerr get a chance to wreck my grand children’s lives, that’s why killing you off all together is a MUST! No more making me feel inferior, and telling me my crazed and deranged way of acting was Ok… Just blame it on bipolar. Nope, I’ll never settle for mediocrity. Jail cells and mental institutions look nuttin like the mansion my Daddy has for me.

I could go on listing all the chaotic mess you once had me indulging in, but it’s pointless and gives you too much credit, that you’re in no way worthy of… You’re merely the scum beneath my shoe. So take this death sentence and leave me, my family, my finances, my health, my job and relationships alone for GOOD!!!

I’m in control now sucka lol… My Daddy gave me power over you; to trample you underfoot, and with that being said… Ssssqqqqquuuuaaaasssshhhh – you’re gone!!! (((TOODLES)))

by shootahdcpassion

Haaaappppyyyy New Year… Or nah???

Sooooooo, I have 364 days left to improve the way I feel inside and about life in general. No doubt, I’m unhappy! But, what’s missing? I mean, everything I assumed made me feel so terrible years ago no longer exists. In fact, some would haphazardly claim I’m living the american dream (man at home, children self sufficient, gainfully employed, health up to par) what else could anyone want or need?

My question exact!!! I have no clue what I’m experiencing, and that in itself is driving me crazy. Sorta like a catch 22 or should I say I’m dammed if I do or don’t geeeesssssshhhhh… How much longer till I rrreeesssttt??? It use to be “I can’t get no man, so I’m so sad” next suicidal thoughts creep in. Well, he’s doing his best and I’m still effin unhappy SMH ggggrrrrrrhhhhhh.

My children don’t call on nor depend on me like before, when I was able to lay blame to them for all my so call stress… Jesus, Plllleeeeeaaaaassssseeee step in, and lead, guide and direct me… If I’m the primary culprit for my own demise; I’m prepared to take full responsibility, and allow You to show me myself transparently. There’s gotta be a better waaaaaayyyyyyy, and I’m determined to find it!!!

by shootahdcpassion

H.U.T. (HOLDING US TOGETHA)

This here acronym is well known to my babies, and has derived to be an uh oh moment for them. But, I don’t like that one bit, and it MUST change!!!

H.U.T. initially evolved because I wasn’t HAPPY about the fact that my children had matured into adults and were pursuing their own lives, and I didn’t get to see them as often as I wanted to, and I surprisingly was MISSING all (11) of my grandchildren. Well, to be quite honest, things haven’t improved at ALL since the plan of action was supposedly set in motion… But, that’s the reason for this post πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚

FAMILY is Ohhhhh Soooooo important to me, and I struggle with the fact that my siblings and I aren’t as close as desired, which MEANS I look even more for my IMMEDIATE family to fill the void… then, I don’t have girlfriends that I spend quality time with. So, I long for ATTENTION from my babies. Purposely, so that I don’t become a burden to them, I ONLY require that we ALL get TOGETHER once a month… Now, of course WHEN God Blesses US with MORE time TOGETHER that’s a plus.

There’s nothing like seeing my babies smiling and laughing WITH one another, while WE reminisce about old times. The uh oh moment I referred to earlier is regarding the ZERO tolerance rule that’s been in affect since each child broke through the womb… my babies are NOT allowed altercations and grudges… NO way shape, form or fashion will I EVER stand for that. As children, when sibling rivalry reared its ugly head, they had to stand in the middle of the floor hugging for hours, if NEED be, unless they quickly resolved their spat.

The ELEVEN I mentioned are growing daily, and doing new exciting things on the regular… I MUST be a part of ALL that. Noooooooooo longer am I settling for mobile phone videos and pics… H E double hockey sticks NO… I want to see those special moments in the flesh πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚

God is AWESOME, this morning HE had me write my sister and ask her to help me formulate a FAMILY reunion. Now, that’ll suffice the entire FAMILY coming TOGETHER… But, won’t replace my expectations for FAMILY orientation amongst my clan… sorry, but you won’t get off that easy!!!

The entire summer, ALL I did was cringe EVERY time I opened Facebook, because families, that WE have known for years, was doing da mug… turnt up – TOGETHER, like they were suppose to be… I’m talking bout endless pics, representing the fun and happiness they were experiencing… Noooooooooo MORE, from this day forward, my babies BETTER get ready, cause it’s on and popping… EVERY month WE will be hooking up, the whole lineage -TOGETHER doing sum big… I won’t have it NO other way.

Shoot, my grandchildren WILL know, by mimicking US, how to interact with each other once they make their own families… I WANT them to be able to say… “Man, ALL I remember was my Nana made ALL us get TOGETHER monthly and do something fun, and I really appreciated OUR time together… Soooooo, I’m implementing the same course of action for me and mine”

“Train up a child in the way they should go, and WHEN they’re older, they won’t depart from it” Reciprocation and repetition is essential for growing babies… they witness reciprocated love and happiness amongst the adults in their atmosphere and environment… As they reach adulthood they’ll carry on in the same manner. Also, if the outings and togetherness is repetitious, they’ll see that interactions with FAMILY MEMBERS has to be numero uno.

Love you ALL, let Jesus teach you how to KEEP your FAMILY close πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚

Jesus saves!!!

by shootahdcpassion