Da Ugly Ducklin – The Transparent Me 6/28/15 (Trial run – My first video trying out Vlogging)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P1pFekDYJik

This is my first attempt at Vlogging, and it was in June… I never could get the videos uploaded, so I completely gave up. But, I started back a month and a half later, and those are the videos on the site that are still not as good as I would like for them to be. But, I feel confident that I’m finally doing what’s pleasing to God. Even though they’re choppy and some are too long, in my opinion. Nevertheless, it satisfies my charge from above.

To recap: I discussed my reasons for getting away from the whole psychological team of nitwits, and it’s simply because thy weren’t doing me any good whatsoever!!! In fact, I spoke out about two drugs specifically that I’m not to fond of at all, and that’s Trazodone, because it causes shortness of breath and makes me feels anxious, and as if I’m hyperventilating. And lithium simply because I’m worried about any medication that gives cause for my blood to be continually monitored SMH… Nope, I’m GUCCI!!!

To add, I don’t know how to put the fact that I see NO need for repetitive trips to see therapist and psychiatrist no clearer than I have, with so much seriousness to back… I mean it’s absolutely ridiculous to make all these appointments, in an effort to find the “NORM” as most people call it, to no avail. I’m through being toyed with!!! Together with God and the testimonies of overcomers I’m gonna master my care without fake anecdotes and meaningless couch conversations.

I mentioned the stabbing that gave rise to my arrest, that aided in my eventual psychological assessment and corrupt diagnosis. My daughter, her husband and I were on our way home from picking him (her husband) up from his granny’s house when I rode up on the worse scene I’d ever encountered. My husband, openly walking with a female, who I later found to be his mistress for several months prior… I literally lost my mind. How dare you!!! Right in the neighborhood we met and married in. That’s making a total mockery of me, seeing as how EVERYONE knows we’re married, and have been together for three years before this craziness, and you even have the audacity to flaunt her around, while still bringing me around your friends and family members, who obviously knew about your secret rendezvous. But, continued to smile in my face as if everything’s all well and fine… Some nerve SMH. Nevertheless, the whole ordeal plays out with me going with the police, him with the paramedics, and the floozy running away, at record speed, with my Tasmanian devil daughter in HIGH pursuit lol. That was a day I never wanna see again, and Prayerfully no one else has to ever experience.

Da Ugly Ducklin – The Transparent Me 7/21/15 (DAY 2)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zj4zIjuBvdg

I’m sooooooooo happy… God tells us to take the first step, out on Faith, towards any endeavor, and He’ll provide the INCREASE. I did just that, in spite of all my insecurities and uncertainties, and each video is getting better as I go.

To elaborate, the messages above refer to some hard times I experienced years ago while I was still a babe in Christ, and not at all able to properly rationalize, and almost lost my life because of it on several occasions.

Also, spoke about Miracle Man, a vessel for God who also ran from his calling, and underwent a detrimental mishap before totally surrendering, and is now disfigured for life.

I can’t believe I took this long to heed to His (God’s) beckoning, for me to open up in this way. I actually like it, and Prayerfully it’ll help as many people as possible, to heal, and also the feedback that I receive will enhance my healing process as well.

I love being able to expound on the GOODNESS of God, as in He as been ever so present and helpful in my life from day one. And even though I’m going through a trying time right now, I know undoubtedly that none of it is in vain, and I’ll reap the benefits soon enough if I faint NOT!!!

The Transparent Me (Day 1)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=08eJh-gEfdk

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SKjnKUSBCns

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6HvuupFIKJk

This is the start of a new way I’m going to interact. I’ve been blogging for years, to no avail, and I earnestly believe that it’s meant for me to visually convey my messages. To be honest, it took me this long because I’m not happy with the way I look on camera. But, If God has a purpose for you, you’ll get it done, according to His Will eventually… No matter how long you run.

I don’t doubt that the reason I’ve been going through soooooo much is due to my procrastination and fear. “NO MORE”!!! I’m BAAAAAACCCCCKKKK, and I know I’ve said that many many times before, then I’ll fall away again… My apologies, trust me I’m full to the brim, and it’s about to spill over… Don’t believe me JUST WATCH 🙂 🙂 🙂

Haaaappppyyyy Father’s Day… And this is NOT gender specific!!!

Quite naturally fathers are referring to men, males & daddys. But, I most certainly have to acknowledge all my ladies WHO have and still are playing both roles… Myself included.

We’re upstanding individuals too… I feel that I did and is still doing a magnificent job at raising all four of my babies by myself, in the earthly realm. Of course my Daddy has ALWAYS and forever will have my back… Showing me the proper way to act and react towards and in front of them.

Teaching me how to cook healthy meals, encourage and help them education wise, and to show love and compassion during their hard times.

Not to mention all the times my Father has miraculously made ways for us when we seen Nooooooo waaaaaayyyyyyy. Short on food, here comes a lady at my door that I didn’t ask to help us out, and brought several bags of groceries. Broke down on steep mountains… Here comes my nephew, who should have been going in the other direction, to give us emergency gas… Again someone I didn’t call SMH.

He’s wonderful, and us parents in whole are toooooooo… Therefore, everyone enjoy your day… Tell your babies you love them 🙂

BnfEnT (CEO Son Son – DMV)

He did it as ALWAYS… Prayer changes things!!!

After work, Nooooooo more going back to the car… We are officially off the streets, and I have every Prayer warrior to thank for standing with me in my most vulnerable and desperate time of need.

You guys helped me remain calm and keep the Faith… I live in a rough neighborhood, where generally it’d be dangerous to even walk to your car at night to retrieve something. Make less sleeping there over night SMH. But, God allowed His angels to protect us all three nights and we had no fear whatsoever!!! To add, we had peaceful rest, and as hard as it may be to believe, we were actually comfortable… No cramps and pains when waking up the next morning.

That just shows God is a keeper, no matter what you go through, you won’t look like it at all. Nobody on my job could even tell I was at my worst, because God kept me contained just as if I had a home to go to ask three nights… He’s wonderful.

Where we’re going, we’ll be on the living room floor. But, it ain’t outside, and for that Lord I thank You. And the best part about it is we get to properly save for our own, that’s the Blessing of it all… When people are displaced, if you’re gonna help them with shelter temporarily, allow them to stay free, so that the money they would’ve paid you can be set aside for their moving expenses. And you’ll get a Blessing for being generous.

I end this post the same way I started it… Haaaappppyyyy in the Lord and most thankful for my deliverance and a new plan of action for me. I will be focused, determined and saving like crazy, and should be posting a Praise report about my new home rather quickly… Thanks guys, words can’t even express my gratitude… Enjoy your day.

BnfEnT (CEO Son Son – DMV)

The face that Nooooooo longer wears a smile

I’m trying, Christ in Heaven knows I am!!!

I need a Word from my Father. Plllleeeeeaaaaassssseeee Daddy send me a message from on high. I know I need to still away in solitude, but there’s no where quiet enough to do this.

Daddy, send anyone to speak to me, and give me clear instructions of what I need to do. I’m not complaining perse. But, I’m in the dumps I can’t lie.

I surrender my all to You Lord, please send a breakthrough. Thank You Daddy for keeping us safe throughout the night. And we even had a bite to eat and were able to shower.

I’m just having a hard time being happy go lucky while experiencing all this. My bday is in six days and I’m sooooooo miserable… Nonetheless, I love You Lord and look forward to deliverance.

BnfEnT (CEO Son Son – DMV)

Testimony service is OFFICIALY open…. And I’m FIRST!!!

Growing up every time I seen anyone crying I assumed they were sad… On day my mom explained to me that people can actually shed TEARS OF JOY. That made me feel better… Now today I have my own reason to cry out thank You a trillion times to God, and I’m trying so hard to squeeze out some tears, to triple express my appreciation to Him… But, they won’t come. Nonetheless, He knows my heart, and how happy I am.

This is how I feel right now…

Those who follow me know that I keep intermittently having bouts of distraction and deterrence from the dumb devil. But, God has used all of you and the Holy Spirit to keep me sustained… kudos to yunce. And it gets better… This morning I finally opened a letter from a Prophet who regularly sends me messages from God… He was telling me that I had unknowingly opened the door to satan’s venom… of course I got all scared, but not bent outta shape!!! Immediately, I anointed myself with oil, and cried out to God. You talking bout supernatural/miraculous change, help, Blessings etc. flowing from on high. Thereafter, I picked up my phone to see a dreadful email from my ONCE auto insurance company, going in on me… boutta make me get all upset and cry bad tears… not the ones of JOY this post is referring to. But God!!!   He said, uhhhhh get rid of em!!! Just like that… Plain and straight to the point, in His still CALM small little voice lol. I wasted no time… Powered up the ole laptop, and got to surfing. Normally, this can be a draining process, having to search through several companies before you’re satisfied… Nope!!! Quick and easy, remember… I’m the King’s kid 🙂 🙂 🙂   Google always categorizes companies according to popularity and/or ratings. Whatever the case, the first one got stuck just spinning, supposedly looking for my driving and previous insurance history, and I’m like Nooooo waaaaayyyyy nobody can have that many tickets, not to mention it’s really only concerned about moving violations, and I own NONE! My Daddy said… move on to the next… Y’all already know my lil obedient self… I did so, and it was on and poppin from there…

I wanted to do this

but my husband would’ve probably called the ambulance lol… He’d been scared outta his wits. Can I tell you, I was expected to pay $416.92 on June 10th, but God turned dat thing AAAALLLLLLLL the way around… $126.37!!! And I know yawl probably thinking like I was, some of the coverage probably changed… No indeed, same coverage, and get this… SOME EXTRAS, and lower deductibles!!! I had my deductibles at their peaks, to keep my premiums down… But God! No More worrying about budgeting this and scarcely paying that… Forget about robbing Peter to pay Paul too… My Daddy is RICH… I reiterate, He owns the cattle on a thousand hills. Now let me run and get this money from my son, to put back in the bank, before it overdraft frfr… Lol, had to leave on a funny note. Especially since lucifer and his lil ugly creäture lookin imps been bothering me gggggggrrrrrrrrrrrrrhhhhhhhhhhhhhh…. I’m gone… Enjoy y’all day!!!