This here show made me appreciate God more, simply because I have been delivered from alcohol and drugs. The events that played out in this documentary took me back to some miserable places in my life, and the tears I shed weren’t sad ones, but rather for the joyous fact that I’ll Neeeeeevvvveeerr undergo nor put myself through turmoil anymore.
Multiple DUI’s didn’t make me stop drinking and driving, and I could’ve killed one of my loving grand babies in 2010, driving erratically, at speeds reaching 91mph, I was a mess, and had no regard for human life whatsoever during this time. That’s why I can’t Praise God enough, I could be locked away for awhile or even ddddeeeeaaaadddd SMH… God is AWESOME, and He’s better to us then we are to ourselves.
Not to mention the marijuana addiction, I caused my baby daughter significant development delays at birth, but once again all Praise to God… Today she’s gainfully employed, out on her own and you wouldn’t even know she literally lived in a long term care facility for the first sixteen months if her life.
Back to the documentary… Without speculating about what actually happen that day and whether Diane intentionally took her life… One more again I have to PRAISE God for bringing me through 12 unsuccessful suicide attempts and fixing my life to the point where suicide will Neeeeeevvvveeerr be a thought that crosses my mind again. To add, there’s accusations that Daniel (her husband) was having an affair, and that led to her actions that day… God, You’re amazing, because I’ve dealt with and no longer bogged down with infidelity and adultery occurring in my marriage anymore… Daddy, You’re absolutely THE BEST!!!
But, we must seek His face and allow Him full reign in our lives, then all the issues we face He’ll handle shonuff!
God inhabits the Praises of His people. When our Praises go up, showing gratitude adoration, admiration and appreciation, undoubtedly an abundance of Blessings WILL come raining down.
We take the good God does for us for granted far too much. The food He provides, the homes we live in, the vehicles we drive, the bills we pay, the safety we enjoy, the clothes on backs, etc. None of those things do we technically deserve, it’s only because of His Grace and Mercy that we’re not consumed, and being Blessed with more than enough or at least what is sufficient to sustain us.
Even aside from all the STUFF He does for us and gives us, we can do Him the Honor of thanking Him just for Who He is in our lives… Without Him there’d be no you!!! He saw fit to breathe air into your lungs and give you life, that wasn’t His duty… Lest we should have the attitude “uhhhhhh, that’s His job” – Nooooooo pumpernickel bread… He owes us nothing, and Him providing for us definitely deserves a round of applause… I mean that’s the least we can do, considering we’re not barely getting by. Rather, we’re living an amazing, wonderful and awesome life.
Make it a practice each day, to spend the first couple of minutes Praising God, telling Him how Good He is, and thank Him for what He’s done, doing and going to do for you and yours. Plllleeeeeaaaaassssseeee, refrain from asking for anything during this time, just let Him get His shine on 🙂 He loves to feel puffed up, and deserves every second of it. By the way, even if you miss the quality time with Him at the start of the day… Don’t trip, He Neeeeeevvvveeerr sleeps nor slumbers! The same way you can access Him in a state of an emergency – when in need. Likewise, He’s open for our outpour of Praise 24/7/365 as well. Sooooooo, let’s make Him HAAAAPPPPYYYY by making crescendos happen.
Keep calm crime scene investigators… Dusting for prints NOT necessary! No need for forensics, ballistics nor toxicology reports… I plea NO CONTEST… I’m guilty as charged with this massive 187. This slaying tops David and Goliath and is well overdue!!!
I could claim self-defense, since he’s been nitpicking and attempting to destroy my life for umpteen years. Anyone in their right mind would agree I’m justified for this massacre 🙂
All the sleepless nights, swollen eyes, war wounds, adultery, punches, kicks, spit in my face, sexual abuse, jail terms, loose living (sexually) and poverty I endured, because you had me brainwashed SMH!!! Nooooooo MORE 🙂 The same grave you dug for me on several failed occasions you’ll rest in starting TODAY.
You’re through being my puppet master; stringing me along into every sin imaginable. And I’m extra careful to make sure you’ll Neeeeeevvvveeerr get a chance to wreck my grand children’s lives, that’s why killing you off all together is a MUST! No more making me feel inferior, and telling me my crazed and deranged way of acting was Ok… Just blame it on bipolar. Nope, I’ll never settle for mediocrity. Jail cells and mental institutions look nuttin like the mansion my Daddy has for me.
I could go on listing all the chaotic mess you once had me indulging in, but it’s pointless and gives you too much credit, that you’re in no way worthy of… You’re merely the scum beneath my shoe. So take this death sentence and leave me, my family, my finances, my health, my job and relationships alone for GOOD!!!
I’m in control now sucka lol… My Daddy gave me power over you; to trample you underfoot, and with that being said… Ssssqqqqquuuuaaaasssshhhh – you’re gone!!! (((TOODLES)))
9 “But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light. 10 Once you were not a people, but now you are the people of God; once you had not received mercy, but now you have received mercy.”
No doubt, living in or being a product of a dysfunctional family can definitely be overwhelming. But, what matters most is your attitude, actions, reactions and responses. Make it a daily habit to remind yourself that you’re not in this alone. God placed you there for a purpose, and He’s surely with you through it all.
In most cases, your charge is to become that beacon of light and set apart from the rest. So that you may lead the lost ones to Salvation. Hard I know, but not impossible! Determination and repetition is imperative, and not you merely giving lip service, about what everyone else needs to do. Rather, you are to be the model they can follow and appreciate… Live a righteous life of example before them, and before you know it conversion will run through each person like a domino effect.
You may be thinking “Things are too bad here, nothing will ever change the course of this household”. Not true, God already knows about the drug usage, verbal & mental abuse, theft, lies, gossip, backbiting and slander; to say the least, that you endure regularly, and He wants you to know He’s well pleased with your staying abilities. Moreover, your breakthrough is near, and He’s about to turn every test you’ve passed into TESTIMONIES.
You did well in refraining from murmuring and complaining… Never considering yourself to be a victim. Instead, you remained strong as a VICTOR!!! Keep up the good work fam, everything is working in your favor. Look to see change very soon… But, you gotta believe. No matter how it looks, even if the enemy tries to show you reasons why God can’t possibly be on your side… Shut him up with your Faith, by exclaiming the goodness of God thus far.
Now, walk with pomp and circumstance, into your destiny, knowing that you’re more than a conqueror 🙂
Since beginning a devout relationship with Christ, I’ve constantly been a stickler of speaking things into existence; opposed to just wishing for my desires to stumble upon me. Well, in 1994 I got my tubes tied, clipped and burned, and in the natural, that suggests that I’ll NEVER conceive again, and it’s claimed to be true thus far. However, the absence of my baby girl/boy does nothing in deterring my Faith, when I go back in memory, and recollect ALL the miraculous deeds He’s already performed in my life. One incident that comes to the forefront of my mind occurred in 2003, when my only son surprised me for my birthday, with tickets to MEGAFEST, which was hosted and headed by renowned Bishop TD Jakes, in Atlanta, Georgia. I was ecstatic, and determined to get from Tennessee, where we were residing at the time, to Georgia Dome, in time for the event. Needless to say, in the natural, it APPEARED that all the odds were against me. I had no reliable transportation, and no lodging upon arrival, to accommodate my three day birthday gift. But, whatever the cost, I knew I had to get there, and NOTHING would stop me!!! Nonetheless, in knowing the condition of my car, my son refused to allow me to chance the long drive alone. So, he hired my niece to accompany me, for emergency reasons. After throwing some things in my overnight bag, and rushing my baby girls to the sitter, off we went. Long story short, just as fleshly predicted, the car broke down on us, on the side of the road… Although we were closer to home, turning around WAS NOT an option. As I was taught by a previous Pastor, when new to the walk, I always carried anointing oil with me. My niece of course LAUGHED at me, as I grabbed the oil, jumped out the car, and went around and around that car, anointing it, and pleading the BLOOD of Jesus over it, and before getting back in the car, I demanded satan and ALL his imps to flee from me… And what do you know, I turned the key, the car started, and we proceeded on down the road, with NO MORE issues. Let me not forget to tell you, God not only worked out the transportation situation, but He also had my other niece put us up for our entire stay… Talking bout an ON TIME God… I never doubted His abilities to see us through, and I MUST admit, the function was MARVELOUS… I even received a BIRTHDAY Prayer shawl from Prophetess Juanita Bynum… That’s why I love my Daddy… He will NEVER leave us nor forsake us… No disappointments whatsoever 🙂
But, back to why this post came to be. Remember I mentioned the whole tubal ligation in 1994? Well, yesterday two of my daughters were visiting with me, and we were going through my calendar, pointing out important family dates… Months ago, in FAITH I wrote PREGNANT, above the month of July, signifying that I’m believing God to give me another baby in THIS month. Because what I wrote wasn’t something we were directly focusing on, I verbally stated the birthdays in THIS month and attempted to turn the page… SMH, my middle daughter caught a glimpse of it, and yelled out “Who’s PREGNANT???” I quickly said me. But, I purposely didn’t elaborate on the fact that it was written in an act of FAITH, in fear of the downplay I may have received. Well, their reaction was even worse… They LAUGHED as hard as they could, because they’re aware of the doctor’s ruling, that once a female undergoes the surgery I did, PREGNANCY is NO LONGER possible.
To rap it up… Let me say this, “Faith is the substance of things HOPED for and the evidence of things NOT seen… No, if I relied on what the doctors say, in the natural, I’ll NEVER be PREGNANT… But, that’s exactly why THEY MUST KNOW… “Without Faith, it’s impossible to please God!”
Their LAUGHTER did nothing to make me disbelieve what God can do… In fact, what it did do is make me that much more pressured into living upright before God, so that He can show up and SHOW OUT in my life, and they’ll too be converted believers. Really, if they were old enough to recall the time God did something AWESOME for us, again involving a transportation predicament, they’d already be won over. But, I guess age obscured their remembrance of the time we ran out of gas, and I taught them how to Pray, Praise and Worship God, right in my backseat, and we made it another 50 – to 75 miles on total E… Tell me My God don’t perform MIRACLES… It’s all in your level of FAITH… And for me, I have FAITH huger than the size of a mustard seed… So, I’m believing, decreeing and declaring that EVERYTHING I’m trusting God for in 2014 IS on its way…
God inhabits the PRAISES of His people… When Praises go up – Blessings undoubtedly come down. Get into the practice of being RADICAL for Christ… No matter if you feel like a fool or even if people around you LAUGH. Don’t let it move you!!! Instead, hold fast to your belief and expectations, and trust me it WILL be rewarding. God is a God that CAN’T and WON’T lie, if He sees you going all out, to get His attention and Favor… He’s destined to perform on your behalf, not only to, but especially to put your naysayers to shame.
In closing, even if my PREGNANCY don’t take place in July 2014… know that I won’t give up Hope, and that’s encouragement to each of you. Whatever you’re believing God for, write the vision, and make it plain… Be specific in your asking, and He’ll be sure to give you the desires of your heart, and tell ALL those who LAUGH… “IT IS WRITTEN” just as Jesus stated to satan, during His time of temptation. (((TOODLES)))
PS, after my God works His mojo… we’ll see who LAUGHS last 🙂 🙂 🙂
Da UGLY Ducklin -IN DA LIFE OF PASSION 