149 Days… Father God in Heaven… Have Your Way ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿฅฐ๐Ÿ˜˜

Man ole man ole man… I opened my site to blog for today, and seen that a fairly old post had been reblogged, and I took the time to read over the post, from nearly 7 years ago, and I seen how optimistic and positive I was, even though I was homeless smh ๐Ÿคฆ๐Ÿฝโ€โ™€๏ธ… Not getting many hours at work ๐Ÿ˜ฉ.. But, I was always taught that you never allow yourself to look like what you’re going through. Also, “Faith is the substance of things Hoped for, and the evidence of things unseen”… Back then, I can remember that I would keep a smile daily smh ๐Ÿคฆ๐Ÿฝโ€โ™€๏ธ and believe God to do the unthinkable for me; which He has so many times before, and just as I hope He does again for me, before my time runs out. #JesusTakeTheWheel

Something else I surprisingly noticed today, is that a nice author reblogged my first book post for me… I’m so thankful for that; as I expressed to them, and I elaborate on that, with great emphasis, because that’s gotta be God, Who led them to reblog the book, because I was so sad that my books done so poorly, and I know it’s my fault, that I failed to promote the books properly duhhhh ๐Ÿ™„… Like how would anybody be interested in my books, when they have no clue who I am lol ๐Ÿ˜‚ lls ๐Ÿคฃ… But, still the fact that they took the initiative to assist meant a lot to me #ThankYou

But, back to the old post I mentioned earlier, even though I’m happy that the post and video was so ๐Ÿ…ฟ๏ธositive, I just had a #thingsthatmakeyougohmm moment, where I just wanted to break down and cry my eyes out, to think that I even have horrible memories to look back on, dating back so many freekin years ago, and people have the audacity to wonder why I’m counting down my days so openly!!! My God, just take the time to analyze my HCYMABH page, different posts from my YouTube and many other social media platforms… A lot of things I’ve archived, because my family would be embarrassed of my transparency, and instead of me moving forward with my attempts to link with others, who were going through the same things I were; in hopes that we could support one another, to please my family… I denied myself, probably some of the best help I could have ever received smh ๐Ÿคฆ๐Ÿฝโ€โ™€๏ธ… Not this time dammit ๐Ÿ˜ฉ… If it’s meant for me to live through this and finally get connected with good people, who are also suffering, and we can help one another, then that’s what will happen. #ironsharpensiron #loveyourfamily #eachoneteachone #PrayWithoutCeasing #ohana #happy

I’ve actually had some inconsistent inconsiderate therapists and counselors, one who fell asleep on me, one who reintroduced herself to me, after I’d been visiting her for months ๐Ÿ‘€๐Ÿ‘€๐Ÿ‘€… I’m like wtf… You can’t be serious… I just feel like it should be more than a paycheck for these people smh ๐Ÿคฆ๐Ÿฝโ€โ™€๏ธ… For me, I get really attached to my therapists, or I can’t disclose any personal information ๐Ÿคช… So, when you prove to me that we really don’t have a genuine caring specialist client relationship… Then I’m turned off and totally done thereafter. Nonetheless, I really thank God for the 2 miracles He performed for me today, showing that He is answering my Prayers, for Him to turn things around for me, before my plan can become a horrible reality… God knows I really don’t wanna die… Just wanna be loved, appreciated, taking serious, seen as important and worthy of life. As always, I love each of you and thank you from the top and bottom of my heart for all of your Prayers, support, likes, comments and shares ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ’‹๐Ÿฅฐ๐Ÿ’ฏ

#PaulettePassionWilliams #PauletteWilliams #shootahdcpassion #CertifiedSTEPPAH #putemonnashirt4Passion #pluckemoff4passion #pressemout4passion

OLD to me… NEW for you!!!

Noooooo sleep crew… check-in!!! WYA & WYD??? is a little slogan I add to my Facebook timeline every time ย I’m up for no unlikely reason, with seemingly nuttin to do… WRONG!!! God’s not dead. Therefore, it’s always sum’n to do, as long as all the craziness is going on in the world all around me. That’s when Praying in the Spirit becomes imperative.

I find myself angry a lot because my rental unit, that God Blessed me with is even further away from my family then the shelter was, and it appears I’m always lonely. But, that’s definitely a part of God’s Perfect Plan for my life. God knows exactly what He wants to do through me. But, I have to pure, open, humble and totally surrendered.ย READY to be thatย conduit that He can use.

Believe it or not… this video has nuttin to do with anything I just mentioned. It’s actually from 9/29/15, and never got uploaded because I was stupidly quitting again… But, I’mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm Back!!!

Resist the devil and he will flee!!!

The pic is my only son’s only daughter, and she’s the other Mini Me I told you ALL about.. To me, she looks like the younger version of me, dimple and all. Then, the Lil chunky Mini Me, that just had a bday resembles me after I’ve put on a few extra pounds lol.

It feels sooooooo good to hear God, even to this day, tell me that I’m fearfully, marvelously and wonderfully made… In spite of what I’ve allowed to take place in my life… He don’t see me as the world does (Less than, trifling or hopeless).

In fact, my Daddy was already well aware of my current predicament, waaaaaayyyyyyy BBBBAAAAACCCCCKKKKK before I EVER came to be. Our Heavenly Father knew our futures before we took our first breath.

EVERY day allotted to each of was a part of God’s perfect plan, and He knew how each day would totally play out before the sun ever took its rightful place in the sky.

I can’t rush ANYTHING to happen when I’m solely depending on You Daddy, but rather it’s my responses to setbacks, holdups and utter disappointments that You’re measuring.

Will I continue to trust You, even when it looks like You’re outlandishly saying NO!!! What about when it feels as though You’re plain ole taking absolutely tooooooo long ggggrrrrrrhhhhhh!!! Yes indeed, because I know my help comes from You and You ALONE, and there’s nooooooo one else offering to or even able to help me right now.

I’m homeless, but Faith is the substance of things hoped for and the evidence of things not seen!!!

The featured pic is my Lil lol babygirl… The way this one cracks up laughing will bring a smile to even the saddest persons heart. This is my youngest granddaughter and my youngest daughter’s only baby… I absolutely love her with EVERYTHING in me.

Stress is a NOOOOOOO NOOOOOOO… I’m showing you ALL how unnecessary stress caused my hair to fall out completely in the top and how my eyes are still puffy and swollen days later from repetitive crying, when I should’ve been trusting and seeking the face of God instead SMH… No More crying, worrying or allowing problems to linger on… Get rid of stressors immediately… Leave them at the feet of God; He wants to and Will HHHEEEELLLLPPPP!!!

Be not unequally yoked, don’t commit adultery and neither allow yourselves to live in sin by fornicating… I’m taking the initiative to totally cut off a long time relationship because it blocks my way to Heaven… Only what we do for God lasts!!!

See the devil for who he really is, when he tries to bring contention between you and another sister or brother in Christ. Just yesterday he caused multiple small arguments to occur between me and one of my bosses, who’s a devout woman of God and I repented and then asked God to make a way for me to also be a woman and apologize, even though she was really rude and mean towards me.

I’m homeless, and nobody cares but God… Neeeeeevvvveeerr seen this day coming!!!

I had to steal this from my niece’s Facebook wall: “If someone sticks by your side through your worst times, they’re the ones who deserve to be with you through your BEST times.”

That’s sooooooo true and exactly what I needed to hear today. One of my daughters didn’t feel it necessary to come by for my visit to DC and I haven’t seen her or my granddaughter in a long time SMH.

My son said maybe three words to me, then went on about his life… Geeeesssssshhhhh!!! You talking bout tears… This thing is horrible.

My middle daughter said the most to me and ALL four of her babies brought out a great big ole smile on my face.

My oldest daughter came out to get her money and went on back to doing what she was doing… Wow this is like overkill!!!

I really looked forward to this day for about a week, thinking today would be the day we’d all make amends. But, I guess they’re better off without me. So, I’ll leave them be. I gotta come up once a month to grocery shop and I’ll just Pray each time that it eventually gets easier, and I don’t have to drive back so sad.

How in the world is this in God’s plan, not that I’m questioning His authority. But, I have no clue what in the world is going on, I can’t imagine life with absolutely Nooooooo family SMH… This can’t be real, and I Neeeeeevvvveeerr dreamed of being a parent who abandoned her children. But what do I do???

I’m homeless, but not in despair… Trusting God against ALL odds!!!

Things got a little hectic, but I didn’t allow it to break me. A few unexpected obstacles showed face, and each time I merely drew closer to my Heavenly Father. It’s not about what I see, but rather WHO I know!!

I felt sooooooo bad, but that mustard seed Faith, that I Neeeeeevvvveeerr understood kept me pushing!!!

I surrendered my all to Him, and these small set backs don’t change NOTHING ๐Ÿ™‚ ๐Ÿ™‚ ๐Ÿ™‚

EVERYTHING works together for the GOOD for them who love Him and are the called according to His purpose. Therefore, I’m ALL in, ย “use me Lord, until You’ve used me up.

Optimism intensifies perseverance… I’m Homeless, but God’s got a plan!!!

Feeling better today, looking forward to my meeting with my case manager, and Praying with everything in me that she has GOOD news. There’s a new company overseeing the shelter I’m in, and they’re said to have a 98% turn around rate for housing placement… yaaaaaayyyyyyyyyy ๐Ÿ™‚ ๐Ÿ™‚ ๐Ÿ™‚

Being able to talk to a young lady last night really made me feel secure within, because she also suffered with mental illnesses, and could relate, on so many levels, to many of the things I’m going through. So, that helped deter my bitter feelings and crazed thoughts of suicide… Thank You Daddy.

In a nutshell, I MUSTย see the enemy in all my opposition, and realize that God’s bigger than any problem that could ever come my way!!! It may seem like my world is crumbling right before my eyes, but there’s actually good in that, because God can now work better with the pieces of me; rebuilding and remaking me into the proper image & person that replicates Jesus.

As for my job, so many other employees keep encouraging me that I’ll get an abundance of hours, because the holidays are right around the corner, and I shouldn’t in the least bit be worried… Therefore, That frustration and stress is out the window too!!!

I knew I’d be HAPPY today, the reflection of myself can be seen on the front of my phone while I’m conducting my presentations, and I was highly upset with the way all this craziness had me feeling and looking… Holding back tears, choking them up… Nope!!! I’m a KINGS kid… And no weapon formedย  against me shall prosper ๐Ÿ™‚ He’s in control of the hub agreement, and will see to it that I get the hours I need and more… Also, He’s gonna open up doors for me for housing that man can’t close nor block the way.

A sister in Christ said to me just yesterday, that her Prayer for me is that God Blesses me with so much that I have enough to share, and when I do, everyone who receives will see God’s fingerprints on every inch of it… That thing sent chills all through my body, and I felt a quickening in my Spirit, because that’s exactly what’s gonna happen… God is a God that cannot and will not lie!!! So, when His Word says He’ll do exceedingly abundant above all we can ever ask or think… He’s gotta stand by that!!! Sooooooooo, look to witness a Hallelujah shouting Praise report really soon ๐Ÿ™‚ ๐Ÿ™‚ ๐Ÿ™‚