Da Ugly Ducklin – The Transparent Me 7/26/15 (DAY 7)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cVcRTjZvDTs

Today is SUPPORT SOMEONE SUNDAY and I ask that you support anyone in any capacity… Heaven smiles upon us for doing so.

This was a short video, that I’m not pleased with at all. Just had an altercation with my husband, and wasn’t feeling myself… My apologies.

Either the enemy is causing bad things to occur, because I’m following the plan of God for my life or God sees that my husband means me no well, and chose to remove him from my life.

FEEDBACK WELCOMED!!!

Da Ugly Ducklin – The Transparent Me 7/23/15 (DAY 4)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J8kzmzSQvTY

 

Not too pleased with today’s Vlog, because I got to talking about the beating at the hands of my last husband, and lost my whole train of thought… gggggggrrrrrrrrrrrrrhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Nonetheless, I went on with it, and talked about how God has kept me, and is still keeping me through all the craziness that I’ve endured and still experiencing.

Today is “Thank Him Thursday” be sure to THANK God for everything He’s done and still is doing in your life. He inhabits the Praises of His people.

*** Please comment on how you feel about poverty, generational curses, and utilizing government assistance.

Once again I ask y’all to forgive the video pauses, before you know it I’ll be making top-notch Vlogs.

As promised, I’m going to do my research on the Chris Brown incident, as it relates to what he’s experiencing with suicidal thoughts. I don’t EVER wanna mislead anyone, by giving inaccurate or totally bogus information.

Please follow me, subscribe to my channel on YouTube, and likewise I’ll return the favor.

Da Ugly Ducklin – The Transparent Me 7/22/15 (DAY 3)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HQ_pcebt0l0

Please forgive me for the dumb videos that end abruptly, without a proper outro message. But, time will definitely fix that, as I get more better at recording. Eventually, I’ll have a better device, with a huger storage. However, until then I ask you to bear with me.

I was cut off while explaining what happened with my last husband, and why we separated. As I was telling you, I made the horrible mistake of marrying way too quick from start. But, I was terribly lonely. Remember, I have ALL grown children, and they were moving on with their lives and happy for the most part… going out to eat, coupled up. Beach trips, constantly at the casino or club. Even though some of the places they frequented, I’m no longer interested in, I still wanted a mate, and I jumped at the very first chance that came my way and the latter months was beyond overkill. Not to mention the fact that I wasn’t really over my previous husband, who I’m BACK with SMH, and that’ll be elaborated on as time progresses. Moreover, I carried hurt and all types of other damaging baggage over into my marriage, thus reaping unnecessary havoc for myself.

I was constantly bickering, complaining, nitpicking and physically abusing this man, and he held it all in until it came out in the worst way on that gruesome night, turned morning, beat down that I received, where God once again spared my life. now, this time, I wasn’t able to drive myself to the hospital like before and not because of any physical impairments. But, primarily because my husband didn’t want to leave me alone with in the ER, in fear of me contacting the police.

Enough of that already though, before too much explaining rolls into flashbacks, and emotions causes diverse reactions. I can’t say when I’ll discuss it. But, I wanna give my testimony about my reunification with my third husband, and how we’re doing now.

Da Ugly Ducklin – The Transparent Me 6/28/15 (Trial run – My first video trying out Vlogging)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P1pFekDYJik

This is my first attempt at Vlogging, and it was in June… I never could get the videos uploaded, so I completely gave up. But, I started back a month and a half later, and those are the videos on the site that are still not as good as I would like for them to be. But, I feel confident that I’m finally doing what’s pleasing to God. Even though they’re choppy and some are too long, in my opinion. Nevertheless, it satisfies my charge from above.

To recap: I discussed my reasons for getting away from the whole psychological team of nitwits, and it’s simply because thy weren’t doing me any good whatsoever!!! In fact, I spoke out about two drugs specifically that I’m not to fond of at all, and that’s Trazodone, because it causes shortness of breath and makes me feels anxious, and as if I’m hyperventilating. And lithium simply because I’m worried about any medication that gives cause for my blood to be continually monitored SMH… Nope, I’m GUCCI!!!

To add, I don’t know how to put the fact that I see NO need for repetitive trips to see therapist and psychiatrist no clearer than I have, with so much seriousness to back… I mean it’s absolutely ridiculous to make all these appointments, in an effort to find the “NORM” as most people call it, to no avail. I’m through being toyed with!!! Together with God and the testimonies of overcomers I’m gonna master my care without fake anecdotes and meaningless couch conversations.

I mentioned the stabbing that gave rise to my arrest, that aided in my eventual psychological assessment and corrupt diagnosis. My daughter, her husband and I were on our way home from picking him (her husband) up from his granny’s house when I rode up on the worse scene I’d ever encountered. My husband, openly walking with a female, who I later found to be his mistress for several months prior… I literally lost my mind. How dare you!!! Right in the neighborhood we met and married in. That’s making a total mockery of me, seeing as how EVERYONE knows we’re married, and have been together for three years before this craziness, and you even have the audacity to flaunt her around, while still bringing me around your friends and family members, who obviously knew about your secret rendezvous. But, continued to smile in my face as if everything’s all well and fine… Some nerve SMH. Nevertheless, the whole ordeal plays out with me going with the police, him with the paramedics, and the floozy running away, at record speed, with my Tasmanian devil daughter in HIGH pursuit lol. That was a day I never wanna see again, and Prayerfully no one else has to ever experience.

Da Ugly Ducklin – The Transparent Me 7/21/15 (DAY 2)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zj4zIjuBvdg

I’m sooooooooo happy… God tells us to take the first step, out on Faith, towards any endeavor, and He’ll provide the INCREASE. I did just that, in spite of all my insecurities and uncertainties, and each video is getting better as I go.

To elaborate, the messages above refer to some hard times I experienced years ago while I was still a babe in Christ, and not at all able to properly rationalize, and almost lost my life because of it on several occasions.

Also, spoke about Miracle Man, a vessel for God who also ran from his calling, and underwent a detrimental mishap before totally surrendering, and is now disfigured for life.

I can’t believe I took this long to heed to His (God’s) beckoning, for me to open up in this way. I actually like it, and Prayerfully it’ll help as many people as possible, to heal, and also the feedback that I receive will enhance my healing process as well.

I love being able to expound on the GOODNESS of God, as in He as been ever so present and helpful in my life from day one. And even though I’m going through a trying time right now, I know undoubtedly that none of it is in vain, and I’ll reap the benefits soon enough if I faint NOT!!!

The Transparent Me (Day 1)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=08eJh-gEfdk

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SKjnKUSBCns

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6HvuupFIKJk

This is the start of a new way I’m going to interact. I’ve been blogging for years, to no avail, and I earnestly believe that it’s meant for me to visually convey my messages. To be honest, it took me this long because I’m not happy with the way I look on camera. But, If God has a purpose for you, you’ll get it done, according to His Will eventually… No matter how long you run.

I don’t doubt that the reason I’ve been going through soooooo much is due to my procrastination and fear. “NO MORE”!!! I’m BAAAAAACCCCCKKKK, and I know I’ve said that many many times before, then I’ll fall away again… My apologies, trust me I’m full to the brim, and it’s about to spill over… Don’t believe me JUST WATCH 🙂 🙂 🙂

Testimony service is OFFICIALY open…. And I’m FIRST!!!

Growing up every time I seen anyone crying I assumed they were sad… On day my mom explained to me that people can actually shed TEARS OF JOY. That made me feel better… Now today I have my own reason to cry out thank You a trillion times to God, and I’m trying so hard to squeeze out some tears, to triple express my appreciation to Him… But, they won’t come. Nonetheless, He knows my heart, and how happy I am.

This is how I feel right now…

Those who follow me know that I keep intermittently having bouts of distraction and deterrence from the dumb devil. But, God has used all of you and the Holy Spirit to keep me sustained… kudos to yunce. And it gets better… This morning I finally opened a letter from a Prophet who regularly sends me messages from God… He was telling me that I had unknowingly opened the door to satan’s venom… of course I got all scared, but not bent outta shape!!! Immediately, I anointed myself with oil, and cried out to God. You talking bout supernatural/miraculous change, help, Blessings etc. flowing from on high. Thereafter, I picked up my phone to see a dreadful email from my ONCE auto insurance company, going in on me… boutta make me get all upset and cry bad tears… not the ones of JOY this post is referring to. But God!!!   He said, uhhhhh get rid of em!!! Just like that… Plain and straight to the point, in His still CALM small little voice lol. I wasted no time… Powered up the ole laptop, and got to surfing. Normally, this can be a draining process, having to search through several companies before you’re satisfied… Nope!!! Quick and easy, remember… I’m the King’s kid 🙂 🙂 🙂   Google always categorizes companies according to popularity and/or ratings. Whatever the case, the first one got stuck just spinning, supposedly looking for my driving and previous insurance history, and I’m like Nooooo waaaaayyyyy nobody can have that many tickets, not to mention it’s really only concerned about moving violations, and I own NONE! My Daddy said… move on to the next… Y’all already know my lil obedient self… I did so, and it was on and poppin from there…

I wanted to do this

but my husband would’ve probably called the ambulance lol… He’d been scared outta his wits. Can I tell you, I was expected to pay $416.92 on June 10th, but God turned dat thing AAAALLLLLLLL the way around… $126.37!!! And I know yawl probably thinking like I was, some of the coverage probably changed… No indeed, same coverage, and get this… SOME EXTRAS, and lower deductibles!!! I had my deductibles at their peaks, to keep my premiums down… But God! No More worrying about budgeting this and scarcely paying that… Forget about robbing Peter to pay Paul too… My Daddy is RICH… I reiterate, He owns the cattle on a thousand hills. Now let me run and get this money from my son, to put back in the bank, before it overdraft frfr… Lol, had to leave on a funny note. Especially since lucifer and his lil ugly creäture lookin imps been bothering me gggggggrrrrrrrrrrrrrhhhhhhhhhhhhhh…. I’m gone… Enjoy y’all day!!!