It’s been sooooo long since I’ve dated, and now I don’t have a clue how to even get started anew.
I was thinking about just remaining single, and continue to work, retire and eventually enjoy life… but I’m NO hermit crab, and this day to day loneliness is really getting to me SMH.
Then, I said I’ll start going out again, so that I can attract men. But, nowadays where do you even go, to be sure NOT to end up with the same type of men that’s been in my life grrrrrrrhhhhhhh.
NOT understanding why is causing my confusion. How WILL I EVER get to sleep at night??? Were ALL those good days fraudulent? If so, you deserve an Oscar!!! How could I EVER be so stupid, NOT to have seen this coming beforehand and readied myself for it all… SMH ggggrrrrrrhhhhhh 😦
I haven’t a clue as to why this is taking place the way it is, but I Pray with EVERYTHING in me that God keeps me strong enough NOT to be all suicidal AGAIN… I’m tired of the emotional rollercoaster. I’m sitting at work thinking that it’ll all be good in this or that amount of time, but clearly I really don’t know how long the grieving process will TAKE, especially because I don’t know in the first place why you’re leaving me to start.
I’m feeling that it can’t be another female because I check your phone and it’s ALWAYS empty of calls and texts, but you may have mastered a way to keep it all hidden from me, if that is the case, just know karma is REAL.
I further keep feeling like my healing will take long because I have no friends or family near me to keep my mind off you and depression is adamant in that case. I was gon get on a dating site, just to keep myself busy and in an effort to ward off being somber, but that’s just a temporary fix that I don’t wanna be bothered with… Geeeesssssshhhhh life’s a bi+¢π then you die!!!
Prayers Plllleeeeeaaaaassssseeee
Hello,
My name is Paulette Williams and I work daily for USPS and have my own means of transportation. However, as of May 31, 2016 my husband and I will need a place to stay. I can’t afford much, but I’m willing to pay our way. We will take a basement, single room, RV, or even a shed.
Noooooo sleep crew… check-in!!! WYA & WYD??? is a little slogan I add to my Facebook timeline every time I’m up for no unlikely reason, with seemingly nuttin to do… WRONG!!! God’s not dead. Therefore, it’s always sum’n to do, as long as all the craziness is going on in the world all around me. That’s when Praying in the Spirit becomes imperative.
I find myself angry a lot because my rental unit, that God Blessed me with is even further away from my family then the shelter was, and it appears I’m always lonely. But, that’s definitely a part of God’s Perfect Plan for my life. God knows exactly what He wants to do through me. But, I have to pure, open, humble and totally surrendered. READY to be that conduit that He can use.
Believe it or not… this video has nuttin to do with anything I just mentioned. It’s actually from 9/29/15, and never got uploaded because I was stupidly quitting again… But, I’mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm Back!!!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JlH-82nIyrk
I can feel myself getting jealous, angry and nearly bitter towards ALL the people in my office who’s happily making six figures, driving fancy cars that are either paid for or for sure the notes ain’t backed up. And the same goes for their homes, they’re ALWAYS walking around talking bout meeting with realtors and either successfully paying off their houses or about to buy a SECOND home ggggrrrrrrhhhhhh.
This afternoon when I was leaving I was sooooooo hurt,I didn’t want nobody looking at me, make less saying stuff to me… Normally we ALL day drive safe, see you in the morning… Buuuuuutttttttt, today I just wasn’t myself, and acted like the Grinch who stole Christmas. Bad thing though, it ain’t even the people’s fault who I was shunning SMH.
So, I felt God leading me to my PO Box. So, I’m assuming definitely it’s either a letter about one of the jobs or an apartment is coming through, to make me feel better, since I was in a terrible stupor… NOT!!!
I just shook my head and said… “Yet will I trust YOU” Ultimately, that’s exactly what it’s ALL about, the enemy trynna break me down to the point where I Nooooooo longer see God as Worthy of ALL Praise, Honor and Glory, because He’s arbitrarily leaving me in this chaotic mess I’m experiencing… And I’m not able to see nooooooo evidence whatsoever of Him actively working things out on my behalf SMH. Still, I won’t waver in my Faith… He promised to Neeeeeevvvveeerr leave me nor forsake be, and He’s a God Who cannot and will not lie. Sooooooo, that means what I need is for sure for sure coming… Buuuuuutttttttt, whenever He’s ready to deliver and set me free from the bondage that I haphazardly got myself into.
From my Lil cousin: “Faith is not knowing what the future holds, but knowing WHO holds the future”
Therefore, Nooooooo matter what it looks like right now, as long as I keep my Faith in God; then my future is sho nuff Aiight!!! God’s in control of EVERY situation I’m not only going through now, but He’s already got whatever I’ll face tomorrow and for the days to come too 🙂 🙂 🙂 “No weapon formed against me shall EVER prosper” I’m a child of God, an heir of God and a joint heir with Christ Jesus!!!
No More murmuring and complaining, God knows what’s BEST for me and since I surrendered my ALL to Him, now the things that happen, family or not, is because He desires for it to.
When God can’t get your attention, because you’re too caught up in the craziness of life, he’ll do some sanctifying, right before your very eyes, and have you wondering what in the world is really going on!!!
No need for me to be overly upset about not being able to see my family, because when God has me exactly where He wants me, then the relationship between ALL of us will resume. But, I’ll be a better person, and much more able to be the role model they need to look up to. I can definitely appreciate that too, because they’ll listen to me when it comes to what’s Godly right to do, if I’m walking upright myself. But, if I’m off course they’re like “yeah right MA, are you serious” and they’re within their rights… A mother should purely practice what she Preaches!!!
This SECOND touch is going to be mighty and powerful!!! God won’t only restore to me what I once had, but rather EVERYTHING that’s coming to me this time around will be double for ALL my trouble 🙂
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ybUyKn7yRBk
I had to steal this from my niece’s Facebook wall: “If someone sticks by your side through your worst times, they’re the ones who deserve to be with you through your BEST times.”
That’s sooooooo true and exactly what I needed to hear today. One of my daughters didn’t feel it necessary to come by for my visit to DC and I haven’t seen her or my granddaughter in a long time SMH.
My son said maybe three words to me, then went on about his life… Geeeesssssshhhhh!!! You talking bout tears… This thing is horrible.
My middle daughter said the most to me and ALL four of her babies brought out a great big ole smile on my face.
My oldest daughter came out to get her money and went on back to doing what she was doing… Wow this is like overkill!!!
I really looked forward to this day for about a week, thinking today would be the day we’d all make amends. But, I guess they’re better off without me. So, I’ll leave them be. I gotta come up once a month to grocery shop and I’ll just Pray each time that it eventually gets easier, and I don’t have to drive back so sad.
How in the world is this in God’s plan, not that I’m questioning His authority. But, I have no clue what in the world is going on, I can’t imagine life with absolutely Nooooooo family SMH… This can’t be real, and I Neeeeeevvvveeerr dreamed of being a parent who abandoned her children. But what do I do???
Da UGLY Ducklin -IN DA LIFE OF PASSION 