Absolutely devastated and HURT!!!

Sears is the worse!!! (((TEARS)))

On April 22nd I received wonderful news that I had finally been accepted into an apartment after nearly three years of either sleeping in my car or in between temporary homeless shelters.

When I became homeless I lost all my furniture and set out immediately in search of what I felt to be the most important thing right now, a bed to sleep on, and I knew I couldn’t afford a real bed therefore I settled for a air mattress and after reading multiple reviews about how easily they get holes I decided to get two cheap ones, knowing I’d need to sleep on them for a while.

I had ordered a deep freezer before my terrible demise from Sears and considered them a reputable company. So, I placed my order with them and it was due to arrive on May 2nd, I’d get my beds just in time!!! Wrong, my beds was delivered too early, without notification to me, and left at front door, and I’ve tried unsuccessfully to get this rectified through Sears.

It’s a hard knock life for ME

NOT understanding why is causing my confusion. How WILL I EVER get to sleep at night??? Were ALL those good days fraudulent? If so, you deserve an Oscar!!! How could I EVER be so stupid, NOT to have seen this coming beforehand and readied myself for it all… SMH ggggrrrrrrhhhhhh 😦

I haven’t a clue as to why this is taking place the way it is, but I Pray with EVERYTHING in me that God keeps me strong enough NOT to be all suicidal AGAIN… I’m tired of the emotional rollercoaster. I’m sitting at work thinking that it’ll all be good in this or that amount of time, but clearly I really don’t know how long the grieving process will TAKE, especially because I don’t know in the first place why you’re leaving me to start.

I’m feeling that it can’t be another female because I check your phone and it’s ALWAYS empty of calls and texts, but you may have mastered a way to keep it all hidden from me, if that is the case, just know karma is REAL.

I further keep feeling like my healing will take long because I have no friends or family near me to keep my mind off you and depression is adamant in that case. I was gon get on a dating site, just to keep myself busy and in an effort to ward off being somber, but that’s just a temporary fix that I don’t wanna be bothered with… Geeeesssssshhhhh life’s a bi+Β’Ο€ then you die!!!

Prayers Plllleeeeeaaaaassssseeee

Da Ugly Ducklin – The Transparent Me 8/23/15 (DAY 35)

Today is SUPPORT SOMEONE SUNDAY

Make a special trip to a hospital, hospice, mental institution, nursing home, jail or prison to sit with somebody today

Sit down, call up a long lost friend or estranged family member or love one… Inspire, complimentΒ & encourage them

Lend a helping hand today. Allow God to surprise you through you (Buy someone’s groceries orΒ pay a bill off for them)

Pray and ask God to lead you to that perfect someone who could use the support most that He wants you to give

Show God you trust Him by not fighting against the transitions He has you embarking upon… They’ll pan outΒ beneficial

Do not allow the enemy leeway into your life, mind or heart, to have his way, and reap havoc… Resist & he’ll flee

My reasoning for me being so mushy when people show me love for the things I’m doing for God… “The Passion’s of Christ”

Looking for love in all the wrong places caused me to be promiscuous SMH… But, God shielded me from death & disease.

Da Ugly Ducklin – The Transparent Me 8/21/15 (DAY 33)

Today is FREE YOUR MIND FRIDAY

When you feel as though you’re being PUNKED, instead see the situations as TESTS that you must pass

Don’t be so overbearing and mean towards others… Consider their feelings and needs FIRST

That brief pause was imperative… my trunk was open, and I seen an accident waiting to happen SMH

The enemy can’t send small irritants your way when you’re grounded & rooted in Christ… he really sticks it to you

Allow God to kill your flesh daily, so that you don’t haphazardly offend nobody… Rudeness is a No No!!!

Recognize your Spiritual tests and pass them…So, you’ll become a Victor in that area, and thus a better person as well

It’s very important to stay before the face of God, lest you give the enemy time to hop in and try you

Allow God to decrease you and have the Holy Spirit increase in you. So that you say and do only what’s Godly

It’s always a Blessing to wake up to no texts or missed calls from family… Reassurance that ALL is well πŸ™‚

Be careful of the things you watch on TV, negative energy transfers, and the news can sometimes be bad for us too

Use your time wisely! Even after work and completing household chores… Still don’t make room for Godless chatter

Da Ugly Ducklin – The Transparent Me 8/19/15 (DAY 31)

 

Today is WE CAN DO IT WENESDAY

Happy and cheesing from ear-to-ear… Back to back days off!!! Ohhhhhhhhh yoppington πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚

“We can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens us!”

God is AWESOME, and showed up and showed out in my life today… Sooooo overjoyed; Thank You Daddy!

Can you say CHANGING FOR THE BETTER x’s two (2)… Go God, Go Me, Go God, Go Me!!!

Washed clothes, three loads… All by lonesome… Good job girly

Cooked and laid out dinner for later

On my way household and necessities shopping… woooo hoooo πŸ™‚

Spent quality, quality, quality time with my Heavenly Father… Filled up to the brim

EVERY adult is outta the house doing something productive… Won’t God do it!!!

Wait on God, don’t dare get suicidal… Believe against all odds that He’s for sure a keeper of those who love Him

Never give up HOPE… Keep the FAITH in the face of adversity

The tables turned… My husband try to reap havoc… But, God just simply ain’t having it, and I never fed in to it

Da Ugly Ducklin – The Transparent Me 8/16/15 (DAY 28)

Today is SUPPORT SOMEONE SUNDAY

Practically NOOOOOOO sleep… Not at all the Will of God. Glad to be rid of my problem… Still Praying for him though

Proud of myself, hospital calls about my husband, and I Trust God and stay at work and finish my shift… GROWING

If your love one resists your help… Let go and let God. Continue to hold them up before God

Mad at myself for some of the harsh things I said to my husband… Anger is no excuse nor justification… MUST REPENT

Don’t get outta character because others are nonchalant and/or rude… Contact a supervisor instead

Even in knowing what harsh effect K2 is having on people, my husband insists on indulging… I’m DONE

If a person don’t take physician advice then surely your opinions won’t be warranted… Give it to God

K2 (Synthetic Drugs)Β is killing people guys… NEVER touch it, and encourage your love ones to do the same

When enough is enough… Fall back, especially when the person you’re trynna help won’t even help themselves

Instead of remaining sober my husband transitioned to something worse… Stand in Prayer with me please