Absolutely devastated and HURT!!!

Sears is the worse!!! (((TEARS)))

On April 22nd I received wonderful news that I had finally been accepted into an apartment after nearly three years of either sleeping in my car or in between temporary homeless shelters.

When I became homeless I lost all my furniture and set out immediately in search of what I felt to be the most important thing right now, a bed to sleep on, and I knew I couldn’t afford a real bed therefore I settled for a air mattress and after reading multiple reviews about how easily they get holes I decided to get two cheap ones, knowing I’d need to sleep on them for a while.

I had ordered a deep freezer before my terrible demise from Sears and considered them a reputable company. So, I placed my order with them and it was due to arrive on May 2nd, I’d get my beds just in time!!! Wrong, my beds was delivered too early, without notification to me, and left at front door, and I’ve tried unsuccessfully to get this rectified through Sears.

It’s a hard knock life for ME

NOT understanding why is causing my confusion. How WILL I EVER get to sleep at night??? Were ALL those good days fraudulent? If so, you deserve an Oscar!!! How could I EVER be so stupid, NOT to have seen this coming beforehand and readied myself for it all… SMH ggggrrrrrrhhhhhh 😦

I haven’t a clue as to why this is taking place the way it is, but I Pray with EVERYTHING in me that God keeps me strong enough NOT to be all suicidal AGAIN… I’m tired of the emotional rollercoaster. I’m sitting at work thinking that it’ll all be good in this or that amount of time, but clearly I really don’t know how long the grieving process will TAKE, especially because I don’t know in the first place why you’re leaving me to start.

I’m feeling that it can’t be another female because I check your phone and it’s ALWAYS empty of calls and texts, but you may have mastered a way to keep it all hidden from me, if that is the case, just know karma is REAL.

I further keep feeling like my healing will take long because I have no friends or family near me to keep my mind off you and depression is adamant in that case. I was gon get on a dating site, just to keep myself busy and in an effort to ward off being somber, but that’s just a temporary fix that I don’t wanna be bothered with… Geeeesssssshhhhh life’s a bi+Β’Ο€ then you die!!!

Prayers Plllleeeeeaaaaassssseeee

Da Ugly Ducklin – The Transparent Me 8/23/15 (DAY 35)

Today is SUPPORT SOMEONE SUNDAY

Make a special trip to a hospital, hospice, mental institution, nursing home, jail or prison to sit with somebody today

Sit down, call up a long lost friend or estranged family member or love one… Inspire, complimentΒ & encourage them

Lend a helping hand today. Allow God to surprise you through you (Buy someone’s groceries orΒ pay a bill off for them)

Pray and ask God to lead you to that perfect someone who could use the support most that He wants you to give

Show God you trust Him by not fighting against the transitions He has you embarking upon… They’ll pan outΒ beneficial

Do not allow the enemy leeway into your life, mind or heart, to have his way, and reap havoc… Resist & he’ll flee

My reasoning for me being so mushy when people show me love for the things I’m doing for God… “The Passion’s of Christ”

Looking for love in all the wrong places caused me to be promiscuous SMH… But, God shielded me from death & disease.

Da Ugly Ducklin – The Transparent Me 8/21/15 (DAY 33)

Today is FREE YOUR MIND FRIDAY

When you feel as though you’re being PUNKED, instead see the situations as TESTS that you must pass

Don’t be so overbearing and mean towards others… Consider their feelings and needs FIRST

That brief pause was imperative… my trunk was open, and I seen an accident waiting to happen SMH

The enemy can’t send small irritants your way when you’re grounded & rooted in Christ… he really sticks it to you

Allow God to kill your flesh daily, so that you don’t haphazardly offend nobody… Rudeness is a No No!!!

Recognize your Spiritual tests and pass them…So, you’ll become a Victor in that area, and thus a better person as well

It’s very important to stay before the face of God, lest you give the enemy time to hop in and try you

Allow God to decrease you and have the Holy Spirit increase in you. So that you say and do only what’s Godly

It’s always a Blessing to wake up to no texts or missed calls from family… Reassurance that ALL is well πŸ™‚

Be careful of the things you watch on TV, negative energy transfers, and the news can sometimes be bad for us too

Use your time wisely! Even after work and completing household chores… Still don’t make room for Godless chatter

Da Ugly Ducklin – The Transparent Me 8/19/15 (DAY 31)

 

Today is WE CAN DO IT WENESDAY

Happy and cheesing from ear-to-ear… Back to back days off!!! Ohhhhhhhhh yoppington πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚

“We can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens us!”

God is AWESOME, and showed up and showed out in my life today… Sooooo overjoyed; Thank You Daddy!

Can you say CHANGING FOR THE BETTER x’s two (2)… Go God, Go Me, Go God, Go Me!!!

Washed clothes, three loads… All by lonesome… Good job girly

Cooked and laid out dinner for later

On my way household and necessities shopping… woooo hoooo πŸ™‚

Spent quality, quality, quality time with my Heavenly Father… Filled up to the brim

EVERY adult is outta the house doing something productive… Won’t God do it!!!

Wait on God, don’t dare get suicidal… Believe against all odds that He’s for sure a keeper of those who love Him

Never give up HOPE… Keep the FAITH in the face of adversity

The tables turned… My husband try to reap havoc… But, God just simply ain’t having it, and I never fed in to it

Da Ugly Ducklin – The Transparent Me 8/16/15 (DAY 28)

Today is SUPPORT SOMEONE SUNDAY

Practically NOOOOOOO sleep… Not at all the Will of God. Glad to be rid of my problem… Still Praying for him though

Proud of myself, hospital calls about my husband, and I Trust God and stay at work and finish my shift… GROWING

If your love one resists your help… Let go and let God. Continue to hold them up before God

Mad at myself for some of the harsh things I said to my husband… Anger is no excuse nor justification… MUST REPENT

Don’t get outta character because others are nonchalant and/or rude… Contact a supervisor instead

Even in knowing what harsh effect K2 is having on people, my husband insists on indulging… I’m DONE

If a person don’t take physician advice then surely your opinions won’t be warranted… Give it to God

K2 (Synthetic Drugs)Β is killing people guys… NEVER touch it, and encourage your love ones to do the same

When enough is enough… Fall back, especially when the person you’re trynna help won’t even help themselves

Instead of remaining sober my husband transitioned to something worse… Stand in Prayer with me please

Da Ugly Ducklin – The Transparent Me 8/15/15 (DAY 27)

Today is SEEK HIS FACE SATURDAY

After a breakup, Pray for Peaceful rest… I did, and I slept rather good ALONE

Seek God about ALL your situations (Financial, relational, emotional, situational, and definitely Spiritual)

God has plans and a specific purpose for each of us… Certainly seek His face for guidance and direction

Fam, don’t be too friendly with neighborhood individuals of the opposite sex, it only leads to unnecessary problems

It’s ALWAYS best to hear your mate out, opposed to running with the story you hear about them from another

Get to a MATURE place in God where you don’t overreact and lose your job behind relationship issues… TAKE TEN

Questioning another about whether they’re SECRETLY sleeping with your mate is pointless… They’ll never tell!!!

Pray immediately when something’s bothering you, don’t inadvertently suffer from medical issues due to unresolved issues

Meeting with children still not held SMH… Avoidance hhhhmmmmm???

Never stir up confusion with others in an attempt to get the heat off of you… Childish move on your part

Remember: God will make sure that those He don’t want in your life can’t stay, and those He does can’t leave

Da Ugly Ducklin – The Transparent Me 8/14/15 (DAY 26)

Today is FREE YOUR MIND FRIDAY

When you give yourself to Christ fully, He’ll show you things that’s occurring with your family that needs your attention

Can’t figure out for the life of me why my life is becoming a COMPLETE rollercoaster

The TRANSPARENT me is meant for my life to be shared, so that others can be helped through my experiences & problems

My baby daughter and my middle daughter are going through something that needs Mommy intervention

When your family is going through something, don’t kick them while they’re down. Instead, help out

Family makes stupid mistakes, but don’t overlyΒ punish them, when you have the capabilities to assist

Don’t allow your Union, who you pay weekly/biweekly to lie to you, and cause you to resign (You have rights)

NEVER send your family to a freekin shelter when you have adequate space available for them to live

Of course if your family is able to pay accept it. If not, definitely don’t turn your back on them… That’s not love!!!

Money is not more important than helping your love ones. God will Bless you accordingly

In need of Prayer for me and my family… Things are dwindling downward for each of us on a daily basis SMH

Da Ugly Ducklin – The Transparent Me 8/11/15 (DAY 23)

Today is TALK ABOUT IT TUESDAY

Humbly realizing that it’s better to cook at home and stretch my meals, opposed to trynna keep up with the Joneses

Tragedy in the family… Cousin killed at Metro bus stop. Stabbed to death, on his way to visit with his children SMH

Is K2 causing these murders because people are haphazardly losing their minds?

Prayer needed for DC in whole… Car accidents are claiming our youth, coupled with shootings, stabbings and other violence

Pray for Sandra Bland’s family and also that JUSTICE will be served if she was outlandishlyΒ murdered

Still following the case where the police shot a young lady who was armed with a knife or multiple knives

God is definitely doing a thing with me, in changing my selfish & mean ways, and I’m openly allowing it ALL

We can’t get mad and decide to write people off because they want what you’ve owed them for months… DEAD WRONG

Mothers, we can’t arbitrarily cut all ties with our children because they anger us… God ain’t having it!!!

The apple don’t fall far from the tree, when you see the bad part of you in your child… PrayΒ against generational curses

Open yourself up fully to God, and allow Him to have His way with you… CHANGE is imperative and beneficial

Da Ugly Ducklin – The Transparent Me 8/10/15 (DAY 22)

Today is MAKE EM SMILE MONDAY

Really good morning, got everything done, and still had time to spare… Ain’t GodΒ GOOD

Don’t let the enemy reap havoc between you and family… God don’t Bless mess!!!

See the devil for who he isΒ amidst altercations… “We wrestle not with flesh and blood…”

Wondering if it’s validity in the Prophet’s claim that witchcraft is either being practiced in the home I’m in or has it been cast over it?

My smiles are due to my hubby taking the initiative to start writing his books again… Hallelujah!!!

When you get angry, please don’t overreact and destroy things that are dear and important to your mate

God is AWESOME, He helped me figure out how to fix a big project for my husband… made us both so happy

Let go of previous hurts, so that fear don’t cause sabotage

See the morals and potentials in your mate, and stick by them… it’ll pan out rewarding before long

Book writing program (Writenow 4)

Did K2 cause a lady to be shot by police in Washington, DC? This horrible drug has to cease and disappear!!!

We are to love in spite of the wrongs people do to us

Allow God to totally wash you clean of any wicked ways He finds in you

Got a Federal Government bid in for two WONDERFUL days off… Pray with me that I get it

Da Ugly Ducklin – The Transparent Me 8/9/15 (DAY 21)

Today is SUPPORT SOMEONE SUNDAY

Hubby been lovey dovey lately… That’s all well and fine, except for the fact that it cut into my planned study time SMH

Cured my seafood cravings… Huge payout though! Next time I’ll be cookin at home for sure.

Continue to Pray, even if God seems to be far away or simply not hearing you

“Seek and you shall find, Knock and the door shall be open unto you, and Ask and you shall receive”

I thank each of you for the wonderful comments, compliments, Prayers and marvelous words of encouragement

Remember: If you’re going through anything, find someone who’s experiencing your same pain, and Pray them through

God is wonderful… He delivered my husband totally from K2, and many others as well… Hallelujah!!!

Wait on God… Don’t rush Him. He knows what’s best for us, and will com through in His time

Don’t be mean and vindictive towards anyone, make less family who’s helping you… God don’t like ugly

Let God make amends between you and the very person who hurt you the worst

Da Ugly Ducklin came to be because of my dysfunctionalΒ family, and the lack of communication between us

Da Ugly Ducklin – The Transparent Me 8/8/15 (DAY 20)

 

Today is SEEK HIS FACE SATURDAY

Don’t beat yourself up when you feel like you’ve falling away from God, you’re actually still as close as before; if not closer

Love God with EVERYTHING in you, it’s sooooooooo rewarding

The Passion’s of Christ (Mel Gibson) wonderful movie… A must see

How God always brings us out, even from the things we bring on ourselves

TMOB (The Mouth of Babes) a Ministry I want to implement, to bring my grand babies closer to God

No matter your circumstances, you’re still expected to seek God regularly

Know that God still loves you even when you feel that you’re falling by the wayside

Get out the way, and allow God to change your wayward family member or love one

You don’t like traffic… leave early!!!