Suicidal thoughts affecting siblings… The devil is a LIAR!!! God’s still in CONTROL

This makes me sooooooo sad, to see that a sister transitions intermittently from fearing that her brother would commit suicide, to her herself experiencing overwhelming thoughts of it too SMH.

Yes, it’s likely and normal for family members to follow in each other’s footsteps… Like going into law enforcement, medicine, acting or modeling… That’s all well and fine. All three of my daughters mimicked me studying to become a Medical Assistant and eventually working successfully in the field… Now, that’s something to be proud of, especially me, as their mother, I feel as though I was a phenomenal role model.

On the other hand, suicidal thoughts and tendencies running ramped throughout a household of siblings is a sure enough reason to call together a group of missionaries for the purpose of intercessory Prayer… It’s a message in that happening, it’ll require much supplication in order to get to the root of it all. I don’t believe in or would never express to this family that I was concerned that someone had worked some type of witchcraft on them, casting mind controlling spells on them, because I’m sure that I’d be instantly discredited. But, in trying to analyze what could possibly be going on with them, that was a thought that crept in my mind, to no avail… Even though I threw it out there, trust me it holds no relevance and not even meant to be our true source of conversation. Plllleeeeeaaaaassssseeee act as if it were never mentioned, and instead focus on what ways we can help this family and undoubtedly many other families who also need assistance, as they’re going through this same kind of problem.

Alone No More is a ministry still in its infancy stage, that can deftly be beneficial in such times as these. But, we need help with funding, so that a proposal can be composed for grant monies that’ll be used to bring the whole entity together. Donate any amount, even if it’s $1, every cent helps and also share the link on your site(s). And know that it’s greatly appreciated… Every life counts, and those who are hurting simply needs the love, care, concern and compassion that this ministry’s team members will gladly offer.

https://funds.gofundme.com/mobile/dashboard?url=h2r43w

bekindbethoughtful's avatarbekindbethoughtful

There are many things that are hard in life. We often have conflicts and dilemmas that stay with us for certain stretches of time. Sometimes they stay for hours, sometimes days, and sometimes they stay with us for years.  The things that make our lives hard are usually not things at all. They are thoughts.

I paused before I knocked on the door. There was slight apprehension in doing so because of the unknown.  What didn’t I know? What do I always fear when knocking on this door?  Whether or not my brother will have killed himself. I used to occasionally fear this, in an abstract manner, but as his outward signs of depression worsen the idea seems less abstract. Sometimes I find myself angry at him because is being selfish and not doing what he needs to be doing. But then there are the days when I feel sad…

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More on Sharing…

Sharing was always a BIG problem for me and I never understood whether or not it was because I was the babbbbbbyyyyyyyy of seven and was spoiled rotten, coming up, and Neeeeeevvvveeerr was taught or made to share with others. In any event, I learned while rearing my four babies just how selfish I really was SMH, and to this day I get sick to my stomach to even think I was that cruel of a person… Thank God for salvation, sanctification and transformation!!! I’m Nooooooo longer the idiot I once was… Hallelujah!!!

Today, I give quick, fast and in a hurry. Especially to those who are needy. Because God says what we do for the least amongst us, we do unto Him. Also, I was taught that we’ll never know if we missed an opportunity to give to Jesus and/or an Angel, and run the risk of failing the test and missing out on an enormous Blessing unknowingly SMH. To keep that from happening, just share period.

I won’t claim to be all the way there either!!! Because God just reminded me of my sneakiness last night, trynna open my favorite candy bar without having to offer my husband some… I even told him he was allergic to peanuts lol… He was like “no I’m not”… I was so piiiiiiisssssseeeeedddddd. And I think he seen my reluctance frfr, that I was laughing on the outside, but holding back at the same time… Not really wanting to give ggggrrrrrrhhhhhh… Dag why did I reblog this post… Now I’m mad at myself for being greedy!!! Daddy, please forgive me and I truly appreciate Your obvious chastisement, and I ask that you remove selfishness and candy greed away from me… Far away, for its not right to be stingy at all, even with things we look at as mediocre.

Itttttt’sssssss sooooooo important that we share unselfishly… Not with a mean or angry heart, so that our Blessings won’t be held up. God loves a CHEERFUL giver 🙂

penpowersong's avatarpenpowersong

More on Sharing…
By Apolinario Villalobos

There is more in sharing than what most of us know about it. The heavenly bodies in the universe share ample space. Without the fair sharing in the seemingly infinite space in the universe, the heavenly bodies including earth would have been bumping with each other. Humanity shares the air to be able to survive and so are the lesser creatures. Sharing is not limited to food. The Designer is wise, indeed, and that is what He expects His intelligent creatures to be.

Unfortunately, because of pride and greed among humans, even the road space is not shared fairly, resulting to altercation among greedy motorists. They want to get more than what is provided by going against the flow of traffic or by overtaking the long queue of vehicles as they come to a standstill. This greed sometimes results to violence, and worse, death.

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How can you mend a broken heart???

https://www.facebook.com/groups/hcymabh/

A Facebook group I started in 2008, during the most desperate and desolate point of my life, while in need of like minded supporters.

I was lonely, angry, sad, suicidal and down right hopeless!!! This congregation of hurting people helped me heal, and I returned the favor. Today, the group is flourishing, and I feel bad that I’m not as active as before, because my marriage is better than I could’ve ever imagined. So, I don’t really have much to write about.

Nevertheless, I gotta realize that I made a commitment, and as long as they need me I have to be there for them, just as they were for me years ago… It’s all about creativity, even if it means surfing the web, until I find relevant information to share, then that’s what it’ll be… Because I will not shut them out, no matter how good things go in my life!!! Neeeeeevvvveeerr forget where you came from.

BnfEnT (CEO Son Son – DMV)

Better at what I say then what I do SMH… Jesus Plllleeeeeaaaaassssseeee HHHEEEELLLLPPPP me!!!

I know sooooooo well how to counsel, advise and help everyone stay strong and show forth Faith in the midst of tests. But, when the tables turn I get sooooooo weak and act out… I hate, hate, hate this about myself.

I gotta record myself ministering to others or something, and be able to quickly playback the audio, to defeat the enemy, by not getting depressed or stressed, and prove to him that I do in fact trust God to do just what He says and really and truly believe it in my heart of hearts also.

The darts just keep coming so fast, that it’s hard to get my footing. And the Holy Spirit is immaculate, because He’s teaching right as I’m typing and I’m now able to see the good in my situation either way.

Point at hand: I allowed myself to be scammed Friday, something I always kept a defense against ordinarily, and would’ve never been so naive. But, these people seemed so convincing… Really had a call back number, answering as IRS and appeared to really be in a legit call center and all, and my husband had in fact applied for financial aid. So, I fail for it SMH.

Low and behold, the monies were placed on a greendot card, and I was feeling better because one young lady got my hopes up by having me email her documents to prove I was the initial card holder and in deed was a victim of fraud. But, I got a disturbing reply this morning, that tore me all to pieces. Thus, making me shun and be mean to my husband all over again… When I wasted the entire Friday already in despair and acting ugly… Took off from work, causing myself more loss, wouldn’t eat… Just in the dumps wanting a pity party I guess and for him to feel terrible… I know better, but I couldn’t get myself outta the stupor.

Not today, just as the Holy Spirit showed me… My father is rich and owns the cattle on a thousand hills… He can bring back that and more money and it don’t have to be from greendot… I just have to trust and believe and be ever so careful not to lash out while I wait!!! I can’t lie, I’m humanly mad at the fact that both individuals are able to get away with their actions and my hands are inadvertently tied. The scammers can’t be found and greendot are rightfully doing this to me because of clauses in their policy that cover them SMH… I don’t feel it’s right one bit though, especially since I have proof that I have the card in my possession and the people who falsely registered the card and used the funds cannot produce the same proofs ggggrrrrrrhhhhhh… Tests are hard. But, with the help of the Holy Spirit we’ll pass and eventually benefit from doing what’s right no matter what we face.

BnfEnT (CEO Son Son – DMV)

Post from HCUMABH 2/26/14

GM Heartmenders 🙂

Prayerfully all is well with each of you, as for me, life couldn’t be better. NO, everything’s not perfect, but it don’t look like it use to and I have great expectations for the days to come. Starting today, I’ve decided to wholeheartedly TRUST God with my entire life, more than I did in the past. Before, I somewhat gave Him my all, but it was too easy for me to stray. This time around, I’m SOLD OUT, NO turning back, and my desire is to take each one of you with me, as I journey through life in peace and harmony… secure in my mind that God and the heavenly bodies are with me and won’t allow any of US to dash/gash our foot against a stone.

Am I promising you a problem free life going forward? No indeed!!! In fact, I’ll honestly tell you that trials are destined to occur. But, know that is the evidence that we’re walking the straight and narrow… just be sure NOT to deviate. Yes, temptations will rise and you may FALL short, it’s normal my love, just don’t waller in it… immediately get back up, REPENT, and grab our Father’s hand and proceed on.

Each day, before your feet touch the ground, make it a habit to Thhhaaannnkkk God for new life, invite Him into your day, and ask Him to guide and guard every part of your being, and place a covering over your love ones. Then, move into action, allowing Him to have his way with you, of course, follow your routine as normal, taking care of your hygiene and diet, still exercise if you always did, make all your same phone calls and go on to work. The only difference is your quiet conversations with God, that helps you with decision making. For me, I have a spending problem, that arises even more so when I’m bored or sunken… that changes today, as I walk in any store from now on, my prayer will be “Daddy, You know what I need, anything is of no importance, so don’t let me spend unnecessarily”. Likewise, ask Him to aide in your life, in whatever area you struggle. To add, find a point when you open up to be used by Him, for His purpose… just say “Daddy, You’ve been Soooooo good to me and mine, now direct me to do something for You; it’s my pleasure to serve”.

Fam, I know I never finished the series I started about intriguing your man… my bad!!! But, who knows if that was the correct message for me to convey, maybe God will take us back to it or He may lead us somewhere else totally… just be patient with me and enjoy the ride… as always, I love you all to pieces 🙂

BnfEnT (CEO Son Son – DMV)

I give myself away

“I give myself away”

William McDowell – I Give Myself Away:

https://youtu.be/O7ofQmeao9I

New dedication, new mindset, new task, and onward for Christ Jesus!!!

Last I posted, I was steadfast on the fact that I was waiting for and believing God, against all odds, for a breakthrough in my once chaotic relationship, and that my ex would eventually call, and we’d be miraculously reunited.

Without fail, God gave me my hearts desire, because that’s one of His promises, in His Holy Word, and He’ll never disappoint. Easter morning the phone rang, and I purposely held my composure, to not let him know that I was anxious to hear from him, we talked, and hooked up later that evening. You won’t believe it was a complete disaster!!!

Now, I could’ve been angry with God, asking what kind of games are You playing, it wasn’t suppose to turn out that way. But, I kept an open mind, and looked at it all from a different perspective. I was the one begging for this, so God did in fact Bless in my favor. But, that had absolutely nothing to do with the way my ex was feeling about us, and God could’ve very well changed his heart throughout the course of the day, to make him be receptive and approachable during our rendezvous. But, God is gentle and won’t even force us to do right by Him, make less force any of us into a relationship we’re not interested in pursuing.

With all that said, I just knew after parting ways with him that I’d sink into the deepest depression I’d ever experienced… Nope, total opposite! God gave me the presence of mind to thank Him for the opportunity, grab my phone and block communication, and carry on with the work He has lined up for me to perform. Not one tear fell, I actually got an instant burst of energy, as if I were renewed through and through.

Immediately, I came to the realization that my ex’s job in my life was finished, he had done what God needed him to do, and that was to bring me back into full knowledge and association with Him. God has ways of getting our attention, and my ex was purely the conduit that kept me on my knees and ever before the face of God crying out for direction and deliverance from the mess I had once again entangled myself in.

Believe it or not, all are not intended to be married, it is written. So, I’ve relinquished all to God, telling Him until He sees fit for me to be with someone, I’ll remain His servant, and happily work on His battlefield without contempt. I surrendered my all to Him, to use me as He pleases, knowing deep in my heart that happiness will follow my endurance, if I faint not.