Da Ugly Ducklin – The Transparent Me 7/21/15 (DAY 2)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zj4zIjuBvdg

I’m sooooooooo happy… God tells us to take the first step, out on Faith, towards any endeavor, and He’ll provide the INCREASE. I did just that, in spite of all my insecurities and uncertainties, and each video is getting better as I go.

To elaborate, the messages above refer to some hard times I experienced years ago while I was still a babe in Christ, and not at all able to properly rationalize, and almost lost my life because of it on several occasions.

Also, spoke about Miracle Man, a vessel for God who also ran from his calling, and underwent a detrimental mishap before totally surrendering, and is now disfigured for life.

I can’t believe I took this long to heed to His (God’s) beckoning, for me to open up in this way. I actually like it, and Prayerfully it’ll help as many people as possible, to heal, and also the feedback that I receive will enhance my healing process as well.

I love being able to expound on the GOODNESS of God, as in He as been ever so present and helpful in my life from day one. And even though I’m going through a trying time right now, I know undoubtedly that none of it is in vain, and I’ll reap the benefits soon enough if I faint NOT!!!

The Transparent Me (Day 1)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=08eJh-gEfdk

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SKjnKUSBCns

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6HvuupFIKJk

This is the start of a new way I’m going to interact. I’ve been blogging for years, to no avail, and I earnestly believe that it’s meant for me to visually convey my messages. To be honest, it took me this long because I’m not happy with the way I look on camera. But, If God has a purpose for you, you’ll get it done, according to His Will eventually… No matter how long you run.

I don’t doubt that the reason I’ve been going through soooooo much is due to my procrastination and fear. “NO MORE”!!! I’m BAAAAAACCCCCKKKK, and I know I’ve said that many many times before, then I’ll fall away again… My apologies, trust me I’m full to the brim, and it’s about to spill over… Don’t believe me JUST WATCH 🙂 🙂 🙂

Failed Suicide Attempt Brings Entire Family To GOD… Next tragedy leaves man blind and DISFIGURED for life.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cGGrvIutlZk

All my life, throughout EVERY attempt I’ve ever made, I’ve been in close proximity to artillery, but was always to scared that I’d mess up and end up a vegetable and a burden on my children. This very last time in February 2014 I was hurting so bad that if I had a gun close by I would have used it. But, God makes no mistakes… Normally I only get storage bins with 24 hr. access. But, this particular company I was with closed their gates at nine. I was furious at the time, because I simply didn’t wanna be here any longer, and didn’t want the wait time that came with overdosing, and figured the gun shot would be quick and easy. Obviously that wasn’t then, and never will be part of God’s Mighty plan for my life.

Thank God for this family though, that a wonderful outcome resulted from what the father went through. In the end they ALL serve God together. He really got transformed while still in the hospital. His wife bares witness to the fact that he would write notes pointing his family to Christ amidst his pain. And even more, he’s ABSOLUTELY drug free… God is phenomenal!!!

What upsets me the most about this tragedy is the fact that he not only lost his sight, but he’s disfigured for life and has no real love ones around regularly for support. For me, every attempt was an attention seeker, and this last attempt showed me just how much my family and friends truly did love me. They were responsive very quick and remained supportive throughout my hospital stay and for some time afterwards too. They called the hospital back to back, it’s four of them, seeking updates on my status and possible discharge arrangements. Even though I was saddened that I ha scared them so bad, in the same token. I was happy that they finally exemplified the love and attention that I was crying out for. I was totally lonely and needed them badly. But, they were too busy with their own affairs. Believe it or not, the close relationship we developed after the attempt was short lived so to say, because they’ve returned to their old ways of putting me second to last. But, it in no way affects me like before. I’ve come to grips with the fact that they now have their own affairs to tend to, and I have God and Jesus right by my side, and I’m perfectly alright. As with the man in this video, he says he’s ok with the fact that no one comes around, at least he has a better life then before.

Alone No More wants to stop attempts from happening at all, by being available 24/7 and right at the tip of any in need’s fingertips. We wanna Pray with them, and express our testimonies, in an effort to deter the thought altogether. Please donate and share the gofundme link… Thanx bunches

http://www.gofundme.com/h2r43w

Testimony service is OFFICIALY open…. And I’m FIRST!!!

Growing up every time I seen anyone crying I assumed they were sad… On day my mom explained to me that people can actually shed TEARS OF JOY. That made me feel better… Now today I have my own reason to cry out thank You a trillion times to God, and I’m trying so hard to squeeze out some tears, to triple express my appreciation to Him… But, they won’t come. Nonetheless, He knows my heart, and how happy I am.

This is how I feel right now…

Those who follow me know that I keep intermittently having bouts of distraction and deterrence from the dumb devil. But, God has used all of you and the Holy Spirit to keep me sustained… kudos to yunce. And it gets better… This morning I finally opened a letter from a Prophet who regularly sends me messages from God… He was telling me that I had unknowingly opened the door to satan’s venom… of course I got all scared, but not bent outta shape!!! Immediately, I anointed myself with oil, and cried out to God. You talking bout supernatural/miraculous change, help, Blessings etc. flowing from on high. Thereafter, I picked up my phone to see a dreadful email from my ONCE auto insurance company, going in on me… boutta make me get all upset and cry bad tears… not the ones of JOY this post is referring to. But God!!!   He said, uhhhhh get rid of em!!! Just like that… Plain and straight to the point, in His still CALM small little voice lol. I wasted no time… Powered up the ole laptop, and got to surfing. Normally, this can be a draining process, having to search through several companies before you’re satisfied… Nope!!! Quick and easy, remember… I’m the King’s kid 🙂 🙂 🙂   Google always categorizes companies according to popularity and/or ratings. Whatever the case, the first one got stuck just spinning, supposedly looking for my driving and previous insurance history, and I’m like Nooooo waaaaayyyyy nobody can have that many tickets, not to mention it’s really only concerned about moving violations, and I own NONE! My Daddy said… move on to the next… Y’all already know my lil obedient self… I did so, and it was on and poppin from there…

I wanted to do this

but my husband would’ve probably called the ambulance lol… He’d been scared outta his wits. Can I tell you, I was expected to pay $416.92 on June 10th, but God turned dat thing AAAALLLLLLLL the way around… $126.37!!! And I know yawl probably thinking like I was, some of the coverage probably changed… No indeed, same coverage, and get this… SOME EXTRAS, and lower deductibles!!! I had my deductibles at their peaks, to keep my premiums down… But God! No More worrying about budgeting this and scarcely paying that… Forget about robbing Peter to pay Paul too… My Daddy is RICH… I reiterate, He owns the cattle on a thousand hills. Now let me run and get this money from my son, to put back in the bank, before it overdraft frfr… Lol, had to leave on a funny note. Especially since lucifer and his lil ugly creäture lookin imps been bothering me gggggggrrrrrrrrrrrrrhhhhhhhhhhhhhh…. I’m gone… Enjoy y’all day!!!

Tribute to suicide victims – YouTube

http://de.gofund.me/h2r43w

Please go through each link, and realize, especially through their Facebook posts, that these were once normal individuals, living out each day… Then, something happen!!! Most had an abundance of friends and family interacting with them regularly SMH… Alone No More wants to get to the root of the issues and be able to, with the help of God Almighty, stop suicide altogether.

http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/fredericknewspost/obituary.aspx?pid=167476731

Jessica Gladhill

https://www.facebook.com/jessica.gladhill


http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/hartfordcourant/obituary.aspx?pid=166939399

Todd Dorey


http://www.suttonguardian.co.uk/news/8327340.Triple_suicide_family_torn_apart_by_fourth_death/

Anna Borau

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1356031/How-mother-bear-After-suicides-child-lost-legal-high.html


http://worlddestiny.proboards.com/thread/11146

Destiny Grindstaff


http://www.findagrave.com/cgi-bin/fg.cgi?page=gr&GRid=82774735

Isabel Borau


https://www.facebook.com/neil.lal

Neil Lal


http://www.horancares.com/obituary/Sterling-Alexander-Malec/Northglenn-CO/1123023

Sterling Malec

https://www.facebook.com/events/482613408437952/


http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/deseretnews/obituary.aspx?n=jason-mark-ainsworth&pid=156091670

Jason Mark Ainsworth

http://www.findagrave.com/cgi-bin/fg.cgi?page=gr&GRid=85735259


http://www.newsargus.com/obituaries/archives/2007/04/15/nathan_lynn_ford/

Nathan Ford

http://nathan-ford.virtual-memorials.com/https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mtasB1k2BBo

R.I.P. Paulette “Passion” Williams-Murphy

Normally, this would be a time of sadness, mourning, grieving, and a lot of tears being shed. On the contrary, I’ll tell you firsthand… Let any tears that flow be ones of JOY, for this is a glorious time for anyone who experiences this type of death (DYING TO SELF). Where you take on the John 3:3-7 type of death and burial, which totally denounces the flesh and all its wicked desires all together.

Believe me, I’m haaaappppyyyy as a Lark, for I know it’s all uphill from here… Nooooooo good thing will God withhold from me now, because I took the initiative to put Him first and at the forefront of my life, and teach me how to Walk in newness, and I’m excited to proclaim the effects of the Holy Spirit living within and controlling my everyday activities is purely evident.

Thursday, I went to the nail salon, for beautification purposes, and my eldest daughter later joined me, and it was amazing to her how good I was doing upon her arrival and the farewell before leaving… Her jaws dropped, and she just had to say something, which made me even happier about my transformation… Her words were  “wow, I can’t believe what I just saw, maaaaannnnnnn you’re doing good lately, you’ve really changed”!!! That’s how it should be, I don’t have to run around hollering (I’m a Christian)… No indeed, it should be apparent, when people watch you, that God is working out your Salvation, and removing EVERYTHING that could ever inadvertently hinder your Walk.

See, she was use to me coming home with stories about me cursing an artist out, boutta fight somebody, or totally getting banned from the establishment… ” NO MORE “ all those negative attributes, characteristics, and ill personalities are finished… Just like Jesus himself declared as He took His last breath!!!

Ain’t Nooooooo stopping me now. Long lines in grocery stores can’t get me upset, hideous traffic no longer upsets me, people backbiting and gossiping about me can’t get me to respond… That old person, with all those chaotic ways is DDDDEEEEAAAADDDD!!!

Avoid LONELINESS and settle for utter DISRESPECT

Not!!! I just gotta keep myself busy… Maaaaannnnnnn, I thought surely by today at least I’d be feeling a llliiiitttttttllllleeeee bit stronger geeeesssssshhhhh :-(:-(:-(:-(:-(

Then, I thought about firing back up my Tagged and Kik accounts, perhaps that’ll keep me occupied. But, that’s simply a temporary cure, in a place where I need a permanent healing… Daddy, I need You!!! This is one of them times where I could use a great big fatherly hug, and lay my head on His shoulder and cry for a few ticks (((((((TEARS)))))))

Nonetheless, before I’ll save myself from the broken feelings and bring him back, only for me to risk another broken heart in two to three weeks… Nooooooo, I won’t even put myself through the agony. I know all too well that he’ll Neeeeeevvvveeerr change! So, let me stop allowing him to take me down on a monthly basis… With no remorse each time. Of course, he does his whimpering, just to get his foot back in the door. But, obviously it’s not sincere or it wouldn’t be a repetitive norm for us… I’m fed up to the max!!!

Therefore, self you had better snap outta this craziness, of even considering to let him come back into your life, to destroy you over and over again! Where’s your self worth? That inkling that says to you… “Girl, you’re beautiful, and any real man, in his right mind, would love to have you, and treat you like the Queen God intended”

As long as I keep settling, why should he change, if nothing forces him to??? There’s never no repercussions for this unfair treatment, he’s just out of the house for a couple days, then brought right back, to get all the rewards a good husband deserves, and I’m sure he laughs deep within; like “look at this retard, I can do anything to her, and she’ll keep taking me back” and that helps him think I have low self esteem, and accept his mess, because I believe I can’t do any better than him… Lies you tell!!! And I’ll show you this time around… Trust me, I’ll be strong before you know it, and I will move on for sure :-):-):-)

No lookin BBBBAAAAACCCCCKKKKK, I’m gone Mr Maaaaannnnnnn… You lost out, and that’s not a threat, but a promise!!! One man’s trash will be another man’s treasure… Don’t believe me… Just WATCH :-):-):-)