#Heartbreak #ChildAbuse #stophurtingchildren #assault #miserable #hurt #angry #confused
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#Heartbreak #ChildAbuse #stophurtingchildren #assault #miserable #hurt #angry #confused
Share, share, share and then SHARE AGAIN… WE REALLY APPRECIATE YOUR HELP AND SUPPORT
Please allow me to apologize for being inconsistent, that’s absolutely horrible and unacceptable on my part, and most certainly not the least bit OK, in the eyes of God, and I can assure you that I’m back, full throttle and for the long haul.
I’ve wasted so much time over the years, searching for MY niche, thinking of ways to make videos for you guys, with so many different topics, thinking that I’m finally adhering to His beckoning, not even realizing whole time, that none of this… My misery, pain, hurt, anger, anguish, trials, tribulations, setbacks, ministries, platforms, followers, the website, and so on and so on, was ever about me, and what I could gain nor recoup from it all. But, rather I’m just a mere conduit, servant frfr, that God desires to use, to get His Message out to His people.
Da Ugly Ducklin, The Transparent ME, H.U.T., TMOB, Alone NO MORE, Sister Sistah Connection, and neither HCYMABH all belong to God, and are only vehicles He’ll use, for me to carry out His Work, as it is and has always been ordained for me to do.
Today, I spent some quality time, looking back over, a few posts from 2009, on Facebook, in the group How Can You Mend A Brokenheart, and I was overly amazed and thankful for all the people who really interacted back then, and more excited about all those who’ve remained loyal, in spite of my lack, in keeping the group active and flourishing. Thanks guys… You mean the world to me and God, and I promise you once again, that I’m Back In Stride Again, and this time with a vengeance… Legggggoooo 🤣 💯 😂 👍
I’m almost scared to write this. But, I can’t shake it til it’s totally outta MY system.
Nonetheless, I’m trynna figure out JUST what type of person I am that makes EVERY aspect of my life sooooo unbearable SMH.
I can’t keep friends, because I ALWAYS seem to be standoffish; afraid of being HURT. So, I purposely fail to give it my ALL grrrrrrrhhhhhhh.
Honestly, I believe I do the same thing when it comes to potential significant others as well, and if this same obnoxious pattern continues I’ll unnecessarily go to MY grave a disheartened loner (((TEARS))).
At a certain point in my life I came to grips with the fact that the only people I’m comfortable allowing close to me is my children and grandchildren, and I was OK with that until they all got grown and NOW have children, careers, mates and friends of their own, meaning time spent with me is little to none DAMMIT!!!
What do I DO now??? My career is secure and for the most part of 5-6 days in each week I’m steady working hard and the predicament don’t have room to bother me. But, the evening comes, just as it always will, and I find myself in a downtrodden stupor… Jesus please take the wheel!!!
I never knew what it was like to be jealous over somebody else stealing your friend from you and you inadvertently hating that person until my last babygurl became her own woman and I could NO longer force her to be my confidant. The very thing I long for… Attention, affection, CARE, concern, sympathy, empathy and Love.
My family has long life spans and I give myself at least another 48 years here, and I’m going to have to figure out ways to be happy with the fact that my babies are now happy with others geeeesssshhhhh!!!
I had to steal this from my niece’s Facebook wall: “If someone sticks by your side through your worst times, they’re the ones who deserve to be with you through your BEST times.”
That’s sooooooo true and exactly what I needed to hear today. One of my daughters didn’t feel it necessary to come by for my visit to DC and I haven’t seen her or my granddaughter in a long time SMH.
My son said maybe three words to me, then went on about his life… Geeeesssssshhhhh!!! You talking bout tears… This thing is horrible.
My middle daughter said the most to me and ALL four of her babies brought out a great big ole smile on my face.
My oldest daughter came out to get her money and went on back to doing what she was doing… Wow this is like overkill!!!
I really looked forward to this day for about a week, thinking today would be the day we’d all make amends. But, I guess they’re better off without me. So, I’ll leave them be. I gotta come up once a month to grocery shop and I’ll just Pray each time that it eventually gets easier, and I don’t have to drive back so sad.
How in the world is this in God’s plan, not that I’m questioning His authority. But, I have no clue what in the world is going on, I can’t imagine life with absolutely Nooooooo family SMH… This can’t be real, and I Neeeeeevvvveeerr dreamed of being a parent who abandoned her children. But what do I do???
Today is FREE YOUR MIND FRIDAY
Woke up to car GONE… You talkin bout FURIOUS!!!
“I lost the car“… Are you serious???
How your mates choice to indulge in illicit drugs creates unnecessary problems for the both of you.
Telling your grown children to live one way, but you settle for the things you’re trynna save them from… DOUBLE STANDARD
If you choose to put up with your mate… Don’t bagger them thereafter
Living with others is hard… Food issues arise, and everyone not buying household supplies… NOT FAIR
How my family is all of a sudden going through simultaneously SMH
My son’s up and coming rap career… My feelings about the uneasy content
How I want my children to get and keep my grandbabies before the face of God
How bad I want God to fall upon me on a daily basis… to help me serve Him correctly
We’re living in our last days… The signs are here… Get and/or keep yourself right in the eyes of God
My desires to be in full-time Ministry for the sake of my entire clan
Give God back His Word, He’s good to act on it, because He cannot and will not lie
Live a life of example in front of the youth around you, so that they’ll grow up successful
My husband trynna compare his wrongdoings with K2 to my old alcohol issues… Not the same!!!
WE CAN DO IT WEDNESDAY continued…
Worked ONLY 2 1/2 – 3 hours SMH
Don’t EEEEVVVEEEERRRR fake sick… It’ll definitely come back to bite ya in the rumpelstiltskin
Enraged at how my (
thought to be) good deed was so insignificant… gggggggggrrrrrrrrrrrrrrhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!
Be careful dealing with banks, colleges, and I’ll go as far as to say that FAFSA is suspect.
Why am I still holding a FRAUDULENT check, nobody thought it to be serious enough to send anyone out… just horrible.
Day went left real quick… My manager went from 0 to 100 lol!!!
Get covered by the Union guys… They’re your safety net
Learn the rules about your rights to take off and leave work early multiple times in a specific time frame.
Today is WE CAN DO IT WEDNESDAY
CALLING DA PO PO’S
Today is TALK ABOUT IT TUESDAY
Master RESET again??? What the heck is going on with my phone…
Hackers or nah?
Hair FINALLY on #fleek
Hubby back home SMH… I never got a chance to put him out and thank God I didn’t, because he’s WORKING yyyyyyyyyyyyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!
Feeling awfully strange in my spirit… Sum just ain’t right. Can’t pinpoint it yet, but I’m feeling sum type of way 😦 😦 😦
Trust God to run your marriage… Breadwinners are
NOT in control.
Prayers pay off, again I reiterate that!
Never fight against mandatory change
Do what God says no matter the cost
Personal ad (Possible Disaster)
Testimony may lead to Tricky Tracking #
Today is MAKE EM SMILE MONDAY
Contradictory Vlog: Yesterday I stated we must love in spite of. Then, I turn right around and ditch my husband to sleep on the streets.
Ironically, I have every reason not to smile.
My daughter nearly died behind illicit drugs.
Misplaced anger towards my mother-in-law SMH.
The BREADWINNER can’t even get a decent meal???!!!
The effects of K2 on your marriage, family and life.
Get rid of your flesh, it destroys you and others you interact with.
Should you leave your spouse for indulging in drugs, simply because they’re irresponsibly still doing it, even after something bad has happened.
Today is SUPPORT SOMEONE SUNDAY
Important for older children, who indulge in bad things, to have a cell phone for emergencies.
We must allow God to transform us to where we’re loving supernaturally… Not in the natural (HUMAN)
Generational curses MUST be broke
How God gave me favor while receiving beautification services
Take care of skin, feet and hair… Imperative for self-preservation
Don’t let the devil reap havoc in your relationship!!! Let God show you what’s really going on
Don’t plan how to be nice, that’s fake… Instead, allow the Holy Spirit to move through you
We are not to only love those who we’re comfortable with, but we gotta Pray about loving EVERYONE in spite of
Today is SEEK HIS FACE SATURDAY
Got my eyes, feet and nails done up yaaaaaaaayyyyyyy, just waiting for my stylist to grocery shop, and my hair gon be on #fleek too!!! She always flicks her wrist 🙂 🙂 🙂
PLEASE subscribe to my YouTube channel and follow me on EVERY social network that we connect in… Thanking you in advance!!!
Today is FREE YOUR MIND FRIDAY
Did not get my hair done 😦 😦 😦 Whole day went left!!!
No nail salon visit ggggggrrrrrrrrrrrrrhhhhhhhhhhhhh… that’s ok, because I should be off tomorrow (fingers crossed)
Baby girl doin it up in the Dominican Republic… Finally enjoying her vacation away, after a few rough patches that God helped her through.
Still Noooooooooo sleep SMH, tonight gotta be the night no doubt!
Husband finally back after another brief break-up (Talkin to me rude and harsh) That’s a no no, and automatic deal breaker – ZERO tolerance for utter disrespect.
Today is THANK HIM THURSDAY
Shooting in my daughter’s house (Close call SMH)
Her trip to the Dominican Republic
The 8 hours beautification process (Oh how HAPPY I’ll be afterwards)
HCYMABH… Back up and active.
Alone No More… Lying dormant, which is a GOOD thing, because nobody’s suicidal.
H.U.T. My desires for an immediate family (Annual Reunion) on a Yacht, even though I’m terribly scared of water.
TMOB – The Mouth Of Babez (New Ministry) For youth 21 and under, to learn the importance of having a relationship with God and the POWER in Prayer. Taking our children to church ain’t at all the gist of it. They MUST know what’s expected of them and all the BENEFITS within. More important, we don’t want them embarrassed or fearful to Pray to or interact with God.
Today is WE CAN DO IT WEDNESDAY
A day where we hold to the fact that we can do all things through Christ Who strengthens us.
My 13 yrs. old grandson arrested for a gun in his book bag. Could have caused the officers to shoot him unnecessarily.
Me experiencing Insomnia due to my being manic… Driving to work with eyes barely open SMH.
“Many are called, but few are CHOSEN”!!! Me disrespecting a coworker, then feeling awful afterwards… Open repent.
We MUST change in order to please God.
The thorn in my flesh is there for a worthy purpose.
Today is TALK ABOUT IT TUESDAY initially intended for friends and family to discuss different sermons, scriptures or Godly topics that each came across on previous days, for the purposes of readying yourselves for Wednesday Bible Study, where you’ll Prayerfully be armed with plenty of questions.
However my day didn’t begin good, and I had to vent after a crying moment, because I was so upset with my children.
Please give your opinion about the situations I discussed.
Thank God I feel 100 % better now… God Bless each of you, and may Heaven continue to smile upon you and yours
Please subscribe to my YouTube channel, and follow me on every social network where we meet up, and I’ll surely do the same for you.
Unbelievable!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This video is all messed up, but I uploaded it anyway, just to show how things can happen SMH. It was two parts. But, instantly one whole part… The beginning just got lost somewhere in cyber space lol. Nevertheless, the ending tells what my theory is on the shenanigans. BTW… Today is MAKE EM SMILE MONDAY!!! With all the craziness going on with me lately, I can’t do nothing else but smile!!! Enjoy guys, in spite of the beginning being M.I.A.
Whaddayaknow, here’s the lost video… I knew it’d surface SMH
Today is FREE YOUR MIND FRIDAY no matter what the enemy tries to throw your way DODGE it, and keep it movin. Show him he has NOOOOOOOOOOOO power or control,and will not keep you bogged down!
Chris Brown with the suicide rumors going around. I searched through several sites, only to find out the world is getting all worked up about what they’re considering to be a cryptic message on his instagram… and more can be read here http://sandrarose.com/2015/05/is-chris-brown-suicidal/ & http://sandrarose.com/2015/06/chris-brown-wont-be-around-next-year/
I Pray she’s wrong. But, I’m not too happy about the writings she wrote, and many others stated their feelings on her site.
My apologies for getting upset, after talking about the beating I received from my last husband, and not really doing well in the Vlog.
Family should always stick together and help one another out, especially during homelessness.
Parents Pray for your grown child or children who’s not doing right in the eyes of God.
Sometimes our wayward children are complete replicas of us… Hmmmmmmm!!! “Train up a child in the way they should go and when they’re old they won’t depart from it”
The affects illicit drugs had on me, and my transition into alcoholism, and subsequent deliverance from it all.
How to be the bigger person and apologize for your wrong actions when you’ve hurt someone.
How the good in your mate can help you. (My husband making me share and diminish my stingy ways).
The shooting in my daughter’s home that caused our homelessness.
Today is SEEK HIS FACE SATURDAY and make sure you read a scripture, Pray, Praise or Worship Him today.
Christian wife/ Muslim husband (How you interact) (Praying, Praising & Worshipping together impossible)
Me seeing the aftermath of my two sisters after getting brutally beating (Reason for my hostility toward men)
Women should stay in their place (We cannot beat NO man)
A mother’s job is NEVER done (Talk to your grown child) (Help them identify and then succeed at their goals)
Feeling ostracized after alcohol cease (How to enjoy life when everyone else still indulges)
Family should never see each other homeless (Well to do family won’t help SMH)
Never seclude your mate because you have no friends or family to chill with.
Today is SUPPORT SOMEONE SUNDAY and I ask that you support anyone in any capacity… Heaven smiles upon us for doing so.
This was a short video, that I’m not pleased with at all. Just had an altercation with my husband, and wasn’t feeling myself… My apologies.
Either the enemy is causing bad things to occur, because I’m following the plan of God for my life or God sees that my husband means me no well, and chose to remove him from my life.
Not too pleased with today’s Vlog, because I got to talking about the beating at the hands of my last husband, and lost my whole train of thought… gggggggrrrrrrrrrrrrrhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Nonetheless, I went on with it, and talked about how God has kept me, and is still keeping me through all the craziness that I’ve endured and still experiencing.
Today is “Thank Him Thursday” be sure to THANK God for everything He’s done and still is doing in your life. He inhabits the Praises of His people.
*** Please comment on how you feel about poverty, generational curses, and utilizing government assistance.
Once again I ask y’all to forgive the video pauses, before you know it I’ll be making top-notch Vlogs.
As promised, I’m going to do my research on the Chris Brown incident, as it relates to what he’s experiencing with suicidal thoughts. I don’t EVER wanna mislead anyone, by giving inaccurate or totally bogus information.
Please follow me, subscribe to my channel on YouTube, and likewise I’ll return the favor.
Please forgive me for the dumb videos that end abruptly, without a proper outro message. But, time will definitely fix that, as I get more better at recording. Eventually, I’ll have a better device, with a huger storage. However, until then I ask you to bear with me.
I was cut off while explaining what happened with my last husband, and why we separated. As I was telling you, I made the horrible mistake of marrying way too quick from start. But, I was terribly lonely. Remember, I have ALL grown children, and they were moving on with their lives and happy for the most part… going out to eat, coupled up. Beach trips, constantly at the casino or club. Even though some of the places they frequented, I’m no longer interested in, I still wanted a mate, and I jumped at the very first chance that came my way and the latter months was beyond overkill. Not to mention the fact that I wasn’t really over my previous husband, who I’m
BACK with SMH, and that’ll be elaborated on as time progresses. Moreover, I carried hurt and all types of other damaging baggage over into my marriage, thus reaping unnecessary havoc for myself.
I was constantly bickering, complaining, nitpicking and physically abusing this man, and he held it all in until it came out in the worst way on that gruesome night, turned morning, beat down that I received, where God once again spared my life. now, this time, I wasn’t able to drive myself to the hospital like before and not because of any physical impairments. But, primarily because my husband didn’t want to leave me alone with in the ER, in fear of me contacting the police.
Enough of that already though, before too much explaining rolls into flashbacks, and emotions causes diverse reactions. I can’t say when I’ll discuss it. But, I wanna give my testimony about my reunification with my third husband, and how we’re doing now.
This is my first attempt at Vlogging, and it was in June… I never could get the videos uploaded, so I completely gave up. But, I started back a month and a half later, and those are the videos on the site that are still not as good as I would like for them to be. But, I feel confident that I’m finally doing what’s pleasing to God. Even though they’re choppy and some are too long, in my opinion. Nevertheless, it satisfies my charge from above.
To recap: I discussed my reasons for getting away from the whole psychological team of nitwits, and it’s simply because thy weren’t doing me any good whatsoever!!! In fact, I spoke out about two drugs specifically that I’m not to fond of at all, and that’s Trazodone, because it causes shortness of breath and makes me feels anxious, and as if I’m hyperventilating. And lithium simply because I’m worried about any medication that gives cause for my blood to be continually monitored SMH… Nope, I’m GUCCI!!!
To add, I don’t know how to put the fact that I see NO need for repetitive trips to see therapist and psychiatrist no clearer than I have, with so much seriousness to back… I mean it’s absolutely ridiculous to make all these appointments, in an effort to find the “NORM” as most people call it, to no avail. I’m through being toyed with!!! Together with God and the testimonies of overcomers I’m gonna master my care without fake anecdotes and meaningless couch conversations.
I mentioned the stabbing that gave rise to my arrest, that aided in my eventual psychological assessment and corrupt diagnosis. My daughter, her husband and I were on our way home from picking him (her husband) up from his granny’s house when I rode up on the worse scene I’d ever encountered. My husband, openly walking with a female, who I later found to be his mistress for several months prior… I literally lost my mind. How dare you!!! Right in the neighborhood we met and married in. That’s making a total mockery of me, seeing as how EVERYONE knows we’re married, and have been together for three years before this craziness, and you even have the audacity to flaunt her around, while still bringing me around your friends and family members, who obviously knew about your secret rendezvous. But, continued to smile in my face as if everything’s all well and fine… Some nerve SMH. Nevertheless, the whole ordeal plays out with me going with the police, him with the paramedics, and the floozy running away, at record speed, with my Tasmanian devil daughter in HIGH pursuit lol. That was a day I never wanna see again, and Prayerfully no one else has to ever experience.
I’m sooooooooo happy… God tells us to take the first step, out on Faith, towards any endeavor, and He’ll provide the INCREASE. I did just that, in spite of all my insecurities and uncertainties, and each video is getting better as I go.
To elaborate, the messages above refer to some hard times I experienced years ago while I was still a babe in Christ, and not at all able to properly rationalize, and almost lost my life because of it on several occasions.
Also, spoke about Miracle Man, a vessel for God who also ran from his calling, and underwent a detrimental mishap before totally surrendering, and is now disfigured for life.
I can’t believe I took this long to heed to His (God’s) beckoning, for me to open up in this way. I actually like it, and Prayerfully it’ll help as many people as possible, to heal, and also the feedback that I receive will enhance my healing process as well.
I love being able to expound on the GOODNESS of God, as in He as been ever so present and helpful in my life from day one. And even though I’m going through a trying time right now, I know undoubtedly that none of it is in vain, and I’ll reap the benefits soon enough if I faint NOT!!!
This is the start of a new way I’m going to interact. I’ve been blogging for years, to no avail, and I earnestly believe that it’s meant for me to visually convey my messages. To be honest, it took me this long because I’m not happy with the way I look on camera. But, If God has a purpose for you, you’ll get it done, according to His Will eventually… No matter how long you run.
I don’t doubt that the reason I’ve been going through soooooo much is due to my procrastination and fear. “NO MORE”!!! I’m BAAAAAACCCCCKKKK, and I know I’ve said that many many times before, then I’ll fall away again… My apologies, trust me I’m full to the brim, and it’s about to spill over… Don’t believe me JUST WATCH 🙂 🙂 🙂
Surely everyone readied themselves to read about how God is Omnipotent, Omnipresent, and Omniscient… Of course, He’s all those and more, and the aforementioned is reason enough to love Him dearly the way I do.
But, let me tell you how bad I messed up today. My husband, who’s NOT a Christian, but has been going through this chaos with me over the past three days got the worst of me ever this morning, and although I apologized wholeheartedly, he’s still LITERALLY lookin at me sideways, and rightfully so.
Regardless of what has impacted our lives, we MUST never allow the enemy to get us that angry through another person, and it’s true, my husband probably did deserve the wrath he received, because the things he was saying was totally obnoxious, hurtful, rude, condescending… The whole gist, I mean he so much as called me trifling for us going through what we were, and that sent me fire mad.
Now, God says be angry but sin NOT… Can someone Plllleeeeeaaaaassssseeee HHHEEEELLLLPPPP me understand what we’re to do in a split second… When someone is kicking you while you’re already down so to say!!!
I put emphasis on “he’s watching” because the look on his face after the outlandish explosion, came from me, was as if he had seen a ghost, and he really hasn’t uttered a word since… It makes me laugh, to myself, to see him kind of fearful of me… I doubt that seriously. It’s just pure shock, and that’s my point! Our families, coworkers and unsaved acquaintances expect better from us.
For real, we’re the ONLY God they see and know. But, if we act like that, what’s the reason for salvation… Let’s go family… I need feedback today!!!
I’m so angry at myself, even though he looks like a scared lost puppy and it makes me snicker… Forgive me Daddy!!! It’s NOT one bit funny, and mind you I deftly repented.
BnfEnT (CEO Son Son – DMV)
All my life, throughout EVERY attempt I’ve ever made, I’ve been in close proximity to artillery, but was always to scared that I’d mess up and end up a vegetable and a burden on my children. This very last time in February 2014 I was hurting so bad that if I had a gun close by I would have used it. But, God makes no mistakes… Normally I only get storage bins with 24 hr. access. But, this particular company I was with closed their gates at nine. I was furious at the time, because I simply didn’t wanna be here any longer, and didn’t want the wait time that came with overdosing, and figured the gun shot would be quick and easy. Obviously that wasn’t then, and never will be part of God’s Mighty plan for my life.
Thank God for this family though, that a wonderful outcome resulted from what the father went through. In the end they ALL serve God together. He really got transformed while still in the hospital. His wife bares witness to the fact that he would write notes pointing his family to Christ amidst his pain. And even more, he’s ABSOLUTELY drug free… God is phenomenal!!!
What upsets me the most about this tragedy is the fact that he not only lost his sight, but he’s disfigured for life and has no real love ones around regularly for support. For me, every attempt was an attention seeker, and this last attempt showed me just how much my family and friends truly did love me. They were responsive very quick and remained supportive throughout my hospital stay and for some time afterwards too. They called the hospital back to back, it’s four of them, seeking updates on my status and possible discharge arrangements. Even though I was saddened that I ha scared them so bad, in the same token. I was happy that they finally exemplified the love and attention that I was crying out for. I was totally lonely and needed them badly. But, they were too busy with their own affairs. Believe it or not, the close relationship we developed after the attempt was short lived so to say, because they’ve returned to their old ways of putting me second to last. But, it in no way affects me like before. I’ve come to grips with the fact that they now have their own affairs to tend to, and I have God and Jesus right by my side, and I’m perfectly alright. As with the man in this video, he says he’s ok with the fact that no one comes around, at least he has a better life then before.
Alone No More wants to stop attempts from happening at all, by being available 24/7 and right at the tip of any in need’s fingertips. We wanna Pray with them, and express our testimonies, in an effort to deter the thought altogether. Please donate and share the gofundme link… Thanx bunches
Please go through each link, and realize, especially through their Facebook posts, that these were once normal individuals, living out each day… Then, something happen!!! Most had an abundance of friends and family interacting with them regularly SMH… Alone No More wants to get to the root of the issues and be able to, with the help of God Almighty, stop suicide altogether.
Jason Mark Ainsworth
After experiences with suicidal thoughts firsthand, then seeing how prevalent it is with celebrities and others who one would think are established and shouldn’t even be experiencing such problems that’ll ever make them feel worthless, hopeless or inadequate; further proves that suicidal tendencies has nuttin to do with how much money you have nor does popularity make a difference. Hurting people are everywhere… And I wanna HHHEEEELLLLPPPP!!!
Alone No More
Is a non profit organization I wanna structure, that will operate 24 hrs a day and have an app attached to it, so that none will have to waste time dialing numbers to get help. What if they’ve already taken the pills or injured themselves, but have a change of heart, and too weak to dial out. This app will stay on the home screen (widget) and instantly a live counselor pops up and will be able to get your exact location, so long as GPS and location are both engaged on your device.
Also, with the app, say for instance you’re merely in the beginning phase of your plan, and you’re maybe able to just talk to someone and perhaps get to feeling better altogether. The counselor will either spend the needed time with you themselves or get someone local to respond to your location, in case you prefer face to face interactions.
Alone No More
Will have 24 hrs private prayer closets throughout the cities, for anyone to drop in as needed whenever, and they can choose whether they’d like for someone to pray with/for them or they want to spend time with God alone. Yes, we can pray anywhere. But, some people feel better in places that’s dedicated to/for the primary purpose of prayer.
Alone No More
Will either be staffed (on standby) at hospitals and and psychiatric associations, because everybody don’t just need to be medicated and locked on a ward, left alone to still think about your problems. Rather, talking it through is more helpful. Every time I’ve been committed the actual facility I was in did nuttin beneficial for me, aside from food, arts and crafts, an abundance of snacks and tons of mind altering drugs. The crazy thing is you end up lying, and saying your issue has diminished, just so you can finally get home. But, the problem just goes right with you. Instead, Alone No More will take the time to get to the root of your issue, and help you with therapy that surpasses sitting on a couch, going over family history and all the shenanigans. The time together will be spent doing whatever you enjoy, yet while still rectifying your problem. You’ll gain a new helpful friend.
However, this VISION will be expensive and time consuming. I need help writing proposals and staff to work with, ideas on how to turn these thoughts into reality. I can’t do this by myself, although I can see exactly how it should be structured. It’s gon take a committed team of US to pull this together. Come along and let’s put an end to suicide as best we know how… Giving the love that’s needed one click of the app at a time.
BnfEnT (CEO Son Son – DMV)
Normally, this would be a time of sadness, mourning, grieving, and a lot of tears being shed. On the contrary, I’ll tell you firsthand… Let any tears that flow be ones of JOY, for this is a glorious time for anyone who experiences this type of death (DYING TO SELF). Where you take on the John 3:3-7 type of death and burial, which totally denounces the flesh and all its wicked desires all together.
Believe me, I’m haaaappppyyyy as a Lark, for I know it’s all uphill from here… Nooooooo good thing will God withhold from me now, because I took the initiative to put Him first and at the forefront of my life, and teach me how to Walk in newness, and I’m excited to proclaim the effects of the Holy Spirit living within and controlling my everyday activities is purely evident.
Thursday, I went to the nail salon, for beautification purposes, and my eldest daughter later joined me, and it was amazing to her how good I was doing upon her arrival and the farewell before leaving… Her jaws dropped, and she just had to say something, which made me even happier about my transformation… Her words were “wow, I can’t believe what I just saw, maaaaannnnnnn you’re doing good lately, you’ve really changed”!!! That’s how it should be, I don’t have to run around hollering (I’m a Christian)… No indeed, it should be apparent, when people watch you, that God is working out your Salvation, and removing EVERYTHING that could ever inadvertently hinder your Walk.
See, she was use to me coming home with stories about me cursing an artist out, boutta fight somebody, or totally getting banned from the establishment… ” NO MORE “ all those negative attributes, characteristics, and ill personalities are finished… Just like Jesus himself declared as He took His last breath!!!
Ain’t Nooooooo stopping me now. Long lines in grocery stores can’t get me upset, hideous traffic no longer upsets me, people backbiting and gossiping about me can’t get me to respond… That old person, with all those chaotic ways is DDDDEEEEAAAADDDD!!!
Not!!! I just gotta keep myself busy… Maaaaannnnnnn, I thought surely by today at least I’d be feeling a llliiiitttttttllllleeeee bit stronger geeeesssssshhhhh :-(:-(:-(:-(:-(
Then, I thought about firing back up my Tagged and Kik accounts, perhaps that’ll keep me occupied. But, that’s simply a temporary cure, in a place where I need a permanent healing… Daddy, I need You!!! This is one of them times where I could use a great big fatherly hug, and lay my head on His shoulder and cry for a few ticks (((((((TEARS)))))))
Nonetheless, before I’ll save myself from the broken feelings and bring him back, only for me to risk another broken heart in two to three weeks… Nooooooo, I won’t even put myself through the agony. I know all too well that he’ll Neeeeeevvvveeerr change! So, let me stop allowing him to take me down on a monthly basis… With no remorse each time. Of course, he does his whimpering, just to get his foot back in the door. But, obviously it’s not sincere or it wouldn’t be a repetitive norm for us… I’m fed up to the max!!!
Therefore, self you had better snap outta this craziness, of even considering to let him come back into your life, to destroy you over and over again! Where’s your self worth? That inkling that says to you… “Girl, you’re beautiful, and any real man, in his right mind, would love to have you, and treat you like the Queen God intended”
As long as I keep settling, why should he change, if nothing forces him to??? There’s never no repercussions for this unfair treatment, he’s just out of the house for a couple days, then brought right back, to get all the rewards a good husband deserves, and I’m sure he laughs deep within; like “look at this retard, I can do anything to her, and she’ll keep taking me back” and that helps him think I have low self esteem, and accept his mess, because I believe I can’t do any better than him… Lies you tell!!! And I’ll show you this time around… Trust me, I’ll be strong before you know it, and I will move on for sure :-):-):-)
No lookin BBBBAAAAACCCCCKKKKK, I’m gone Mr Maaaaannnnnnn… You lost out, and that’s not a threat, but a promise!!! One man’s trash will be another man’s treasure… Don’t believe me… Just WATCH :-):-):-)
Just because we have Grace available to cover us, when we accidentally mess up, that don’t mean that we should arbitrarily do wrong. Yes, God is merciful and He’ll forgive us each time we fall short, but Plllleeeeeaaaaassssseeee believe punishment is adamant.
If you’re living in an adulterous relationship, know that you’re playing with fire and take a stand today to get out of it. You’re playing with God and straddling the fence, and before long He’ll release you over to the enemy, and allow him to consume you.
You may be committing a sin, and thinking it’s partly Ok, because it’s your only way to make ends meet (prostituting, selling drugs, embezzlement, etc.) STOP!!! God has your back, and I know that’s easier said than done, especially since I can’t say I know what you’re experiencing… No I can’t, in that aspect. But, I’ve been in predicaments where I had to totally Trust God and He deftly came through for me.
I had four babies with Nooooooo food to feed them, and God sent a lady shopping for us and she arrived at our home with her trunk and back seat full of enough food to last us at least two months… So, I can bear witness/attest to His remarkable capabilities.
God knows all our needs, but we still have to Pray to Him for the help we need. Going back to the affair, if it’s been years, I can only imagine how hard it’ll be to sever all ties with the one person you love most… Do it, without thinking twice, and watch God show up and show out for you. The person He’ll send will be ten times better, and most important, they’ll be yours 🙂
Before we were even formed in our mother’s womb, God already had a map laid, allotting exactly how He wanted the course to go, of course it’d be wonderful if we had a copy of the plans, and could walk it out, then we more than likely wouldn’t veer. On the other hand, it is what it is, we have to patiently wait on God to give us bits and pieces, and we simply have to Trust Him to make no mistakes. In the interim, we get into all kinds of craziness, trynna rush into success, happiness, prosperity or wealth… Whatever the case, it’s not part of God’s blueprint and must go, in order for us to ever have the pleasure of enjoying the goods He has in store for us.
Each morning, die to self and allow the Holy Spirit to take over and watch how much better your day unfolds. For those settling for illicit money making schemes, I know it sounds ludacris that you should walk away from the only thing that’s been feeding your family for all these years… But, you must put all your Faith in God, that He’ll make ways for you, when it looks like there’s no way. That’s when it’s gonna be amazing and He’ll get the most gratitude, and He loves every bit of that… When you’re able to testify on how you went cold turkey, Trusting Him fully, and He not only came through, but He went beyond your expectations. God is Marvelous, Miraculous, Rich, Compassionate, Affectionate and Powerful.
Once He sees us putting forth an effort… That’s His invitation to jump in and the rest is history. Therefore, do what’s Godly right to do, and utilize Grace appropriately 🙂 🙂 🙂
6 “Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.”
Starting October 26, 1993, following this charge was imperative in my life, and I set out to do just that… In fact my children say they couldn’t wait to get grown, so I couldn’t FORCE them to go to Church any longer. I mean we attended service EVERY time the doors opened, I may have over did it! But, that was because of my lifestyle before transformation, and my believing that we needed extra cleansing, in order to be RIGHT with God. Nonetheless, the Word never lied, because my babies know the goodness of God, and He’s Who they depend on in the time of troubles. To add, they have dignity and integrity, due to the long hours we spent with God. Therefore, it panned out to be worth it :-). Now, let’s meet my clan… I just love these little critters 🙂
My oldest: Kia D. Johnson
We call her the “Grandma” of the family, because she has an old soul lol. She’s married to her Junior High school sweetheart, and they have three wonderful babies. On Kia’s wedding day, I dedicated a marvelous song to her, and she and I danced together to it… We had a great time in the Lord.
It’s been crazy throughout Kia’s life, we use to think we were twins somehow… because if I got sick, within days she’d come down with the same sickness. If I got a scratch or scar, before long she’d have the same one in the same place… weird but amazingly cute and sentimental. Kia’s personality is unimaginable, I’ve always told her no matter how much the enemy tries to get you to change, by making you think you humble ways allows people to walk all over you… never change, because God made you the way you are, and many people would die to be that way, you merely have the Fruits of God’s Spirit operating inside… Be Thankful!
Me and Kia have worked together at several different companies, to include our current positions with the USPS, where we’ve been employed for nearly three years. God is AWESOME 🙂 🙂 🙂
Here’s Kia’s oldest Bryius, we’re believing God that he’ll play either professional football or basketball. He’s humongous, but in a good way – He has the height to dunk the ball, and the weight to tackle on defense… God makes NO mistakes!!!
I love this kid to pieces, always giving of himself to help others, just like his Mommy… Keep up the GOOD work Drama, Nana sees all! Here is Kia’s second oldest Bry’kuise, we’re believing God that we’ll see him on the big screens. He’s so talented, and has been doing skits and mimicking movie scenes for years now… his day is coming real soon… Thank You Daddy in advance 🙂
Remember this lil handsome face, because you’ll definitely see it again… Nana’s Child Prodigy. Lastly, we have Kia’s only girl, who she Prayed for and wanted so bad… Here’s Blessed
Too early to know what God has in store for her, but I know it’ll be WONDERFUL… Because He wouldn’t have it no other way. He never desires for us to live in lack and a mediocre life.
Next, meet my only son Vincent who built a entertainment business from the ground up, and he works full time as a manager at a lucrative bread company… Vincent was Blessed with optimum rap skills, and has already put out one mix tape… He always makes Mama proud. He has two biological children and one step son. Here’s Vincent
Look for him, performing, in your city in the upcoming months. Very creative lyricist, with 10k fans all across the country… Keep going baby, take us to the top!!! Vincent’s oldest is a beautiful little girl, who the enemy is keeping from us at the moment. But, Prayer changes everything! So, even that situation will eventually unfold in our favor. Meet Najea
I love you baby girl… People use to think she was my daughter, she looks so much like me… In due time you’ll be back with us if I faint not, and keep doing right by God. Here’s Tonio, Vincent’s son through common-law marriage
This young man has been with us since the age of two, and we love and accept him just like the rest. Last for Vincent is his twin baby boy fatty
He too will play some type of sports professionally, his body structure says football, and just know we’re totally behind you baby boy… go for it! Your sky has no limits 🙂
Next, meet my Mini-Me,
everybody says she not only looks just like the younger me, but she has all my personality traits as well. She too followed in my footsteps career wise and is currently employed at USPS. And there’s something else special about this young lady, she gave us the first set of twins in three generations… blew my mind when I heard they were coming, and it’s been astonishing watching them thus far… Twins are unique, the way they interact with each other and the world, and these boys are tricking us already and they’re only two… If you ask them their names, they switch up on you… so cute :-). Thank God they’re fraternal or we’d be in trouble lol! But, here’s Mia’s first girl Zai’kiyah
This is the Mommy of the younger ones, she gives all the orders, and really knows how to apply make up too lol. Next , we got Zai’Riyah
You can tell by the pic, she got personality… But, believe it or not, she’s quiet and shy. Now, the grand finale for Mia is the infamous twins… meet Marvin & Malone
these babies are a MUST see… so much different than my children and my other grandchildren… they were truly cut from a different cloth SMH 🙂
The last of the Mohicans is my baby girl Anthonya,
I’m so proud of her, she successfully finished her training course, in Nursing Assistance and went on to get state certified, and is employed at Howard University Hospital and has one little girl Ms. Xoe
Family is my number one priority, and seeing to it that we all live right is a must!!! I’m a stickler for Prayer, and having a concrete relationship with God, and I do my best to make sure my children instill nothing but the best in their children… for they are our futures.
Sad, Miserable, Insufficient, Pathetic, Poor, Meager & Trifling
“NO MORE” I’m in CONTROL, with the HELP of Christ, in determining the course of my life, and I decide that the above words DONOT define me!!! I have set my standards and expectations high, and will move on towards my destiny in newness. I decree and declare that I won’t be a slave any longer to the sins that use to have me bound. Instead, each day I’ll surrender my ALL to God, and allow Him free reign in my life.
Before this, I had to drink every day, just to be able to be sociable, if not I was irritated and angry. Not, knowing that I was actually doing myself an injustice, because the temporary fix was doing nothing but damaging my organs, while appearing to keep me happy. Any mind-altering substance that we take pleasure in, and allow the enemy to trick us with, only separates us from God. True, we live by Grace, and Thank God for that! Nonetheless, we are responsible for our actions, and willfully sinning definitely warrants repercussions and punishment. Several of my friends and love ones today are suffering from or have died from cirrhosis of the liver, which is a direct derivative of chronic alcoholism… Lord I Thank You for deliverance 🙂
Powerful: Strong, Sturdy, Robust, Solid, Influential, Dominant, Compelling, Convincing & Persuasive 🙂
Nooooooooooo Stopping me now… I move through life these days with assurance, never PROUD though! I will never lose my humbleness, because I know God can snatch it all in a blink of an eye. And it’s never been me to make anyone feel inferior, and besides, God is no respecter of person… What He’s done for me, He’ll definitely do for the next. That’s why my Prayers aren’t self-seeking. Rather I Pray for EVERYONE to be Blessed, Successful and Happy.
God’s Word states: For the LORD God is a sun and shield: the LORD will give grace and glory: no good thing will he withhold from them that walk uprightly.
With that ^^^^^^ in mind, I keep in mind ALL the good things that I want to occur for me and mine, and Thank God in advance for them, in Faith, that they’re coming in His time. I look at it like this… The Blessings God has for us are humongous, and we have to be ready for them, that’s why the cleaning/purging process had to take place in my life, and once He feels that I’ll be a good steward over what He gives me… I’ll soar 🙂 🙂 🙂 I’m getting CLOSE, no doubt… I can feel and see prosperity all around me each day… and like always; Daddy, I Thank You for all You’ve done, doing now, and gonna do for us all… Have YOUR way in our lives… And much appreciation and GRATITUDE sent Your way merely for Who YOU are… Love You to pieces 🙂
Ultimately, EVERYONE wants to end up in HEAVEN opposed to thinking about spending eternity in hell, where you’ll burn forever, with no likely relief. Not to suggest that it’d ever be ok to end up there, but if you knew you were damned to burn for ONLY a certain amount of time, then maybe it wouldn’t be so scary. On the other hand, you’ll never be able to escape torment and turmoil… It will be excruciating pain and agony.
Therefore, start TODAY living your life in a way that you’re confident that you’ll be a worthy candidate for HEAVEN. And we do this by having and keeping a close relationship with God, studying His Word, Praying to & Praising Him, and following His Commandments. Making it to HEAVEN requires that we have an intimate relationship with God and accept that Jesus is His ONLY begotten Son, sent to die on the cross for the remission of our sins. That’s what Praise is all about; even if we don’t have nothing, in our minds, that brings about excitement, the mere fact Jesus suffered in our place is reason enough.
All He went through FOR US should cause us to Praise Him regularly!!! Just think of the troubles you’ve faced and near death experiences you encountered or never even have to face, simply because He paid it forward SMH. How could we even second guess living right, to show our appreciation for His sacrificial death? To me, we make a mockery of Jesus when we willfully sin and dance around with the devil on a day-to-day basis, as if what He did for us was mediocre… He was human, and the lashes He took to His flesh was REAL.
I put emphasis on TODAY because tomorrow ain’t promised to any of us… Death is adamant, there’s no question that we all will leave this earth someday. The imperative question at hand is where will our Spirit go thereafter? Choose now, to surrender your all to Christ, first thanking Him for His offering on our behalves. Then, ask Him into your heart, mind and soul, to help you live upright daily. Although, He knows our shortcomings, still confess them aloud, and allow Him the ability to help you get it right, so that you’ll be PLEASING in His sight. Earth ain’t my home! I don’t know about y’all, but I’m overjoyed about and can’t wait so see my mansion in Heaven, not only for the beauty within. But, more because I know I’ll never worry, cry, hurt, be sad, mad, envious, nor distraught again :-).
God loves us unconditionally, and it’s NOT His desire that ANY of us should live in lack or perish… Let Him in, it’s nothing like a connection with God and the reassurance that HEAVEN will eventually be your peaceful HOME. See ya there 🙂
This here show made me appreciate God more, simply because I have been delivered from alcohol and drugs. The events that played out in this documentary took me back to some miserable places in my life, and the tears I shed weren’t sad ones, but rather for the joyous fact that I’ll Neeeeeevvvveeerr undergo nor put myself through turmoil anymore.
Multiple DUI’s didn’t make me stop drinking and driving, and I could’ve killed one of my loving grand babies in 2010, driving erratically, at speeds reaching 91mph, I was a mess, and had no regard for human life whatsoever during this time. That’s why I can’t Praise God enough, I could be locked away for awhile or even ddddeeeeaaaadddd SMH… God is AWESOME, and He’s better to us then we are to ourselves.
Not to mention the marijuana addiction, I caused my baby daughter significant development delays at birth, but once again all Praise to God… Today she’s gainfully employed, out on her own and you wouldn’t even know she literally lived in a long term care facility for the first sixteen months if her life.
Back to the documentary… Without speculating about what actually happen that day and whether Diane intentionally took her life… One more again I have to PRAISE God for bringing me through 12 unsuccessful suicide attempts and fixing my life to the point where suicide will Neeeeeevvvveeerr be a thought that crosses my mind again. To add, there’s accusations that Daniel (her husband) was having an affair, and that led to her actions that day… God, You’re amazing, because I’ve dealt with and no longer bogged down with infidelity and adultery occurring in my marriage anymore… Daddy, You’re absolutely THE BEST!!!
But, we must seek His face and allow Him full reign in our lives, then all the issues we face He’ll handle shonuff!
Keep calm crime scene investigators… Dusting for prints NOT necessary! No need for forensics, ballistics nor toxicology reports… I plea NO CONTEST… I’m guilty as charged with this massive 187. This slaying tops David and Goliath and is well overdue!!!
I could claim self-defense, since he’s been nitpicking and attempting to destroy my life for umpteen years. Anyone in their right mind would agree I’m justified for this massacre 🙂
All the obnoxious suicide attempts you caused, how does it feel, now that the shoe is on the other feet, and you’re bogged down, with Nooooooo control? You feel helpless right??? Do you feel like everything you’ve lived for and tried to build has been snatched out from under you… Good! What goes around comes around jerk… Karma’s a b!+©π huh???
All the sleepless nights, swollen eyes, war wounds, adultery, punches, kicks, spit in my face, sexual abuse, jail terms, loose living (sexually) and poverty I endured, because you had me brainwashed SMH!!! Nooooooo MORE 🙂 The same grave you dug for me on several failed occasions you’ll rest in starting TODAY.
You’re through being my puppet master; stringing me along into every sin imaginable. And I’m extra careful to make sure you’ll Neeeeeevvvveeerr get a chance to wreck my grand children’s lives, that’s why killing you off all together is a MUST! No more making me feel inferior, and telling me my crazed and deranged way of acting was Ok… Just blame it on bipolar. Nope, I’ll never settle for mediocrity. Jail cells and mental institutions look nuttin like the mansion my Daddy has for me.
I could go on listing all the chaotic mess you once had me indulging in, but it’s pointless and gives you too much credit, that you’re in no way worthy of… You’re merely the scum beneath my shoe. So take this death sentence and leave me, my family, my finances, my health, my job and relationships alone for GOOD!!!
I’m in control now sucka lol… My Daddy gave me power over you; to trample you underfoot, and with that being said… Ssssqqqqquuuuaaaasssshhhh – you’re gone!!! (((TOODLES)))