How do you begin again???

It’s been sooooo long since I’ve dated, and now I don’t have a clue how to even get started anew.

I was thinking about just remaining single, and continue to work, retire and eventually enjoy life… but I’m NO hermit crab, and this day to day loneliness is really getting to me SMH.

Then, I said I’ll start going out again, so that I can attract men. But, nowadays where do you even go, to be sure NOT to end up with the same type of men that’s been in my life grrrrrrrhhhhhhh.

Absolutely devastated and HURT!!!

Sears is the worse!!! (((TEARS)))

On April 22nd I received wonderful news that I had finally been accepted into an apartment after nearly three years of either sleeping in my car or in between temporary homeless shelters.

When I became homeless I lost all my furniture and set out immediately in search of what I felt to be the most important thing right now, a bed to sleep on, and I knew I couldn’t afford a real bed therefore I settled for a air mattress and after reading multiple reviews about how easily they get holes I decided to get two cheap ones, knowing I’d need to sleep on them for a while.

I had ordered a deep freezer before my terrible demise from Sears and considered them a reputable company. So, I placed my order with them and it was due to arrive on May 2nd, I’d get my beds just in time!!! Wrong, my beds was delivered too early, without notification to me, and left at front door, and I’ve tried unsuccessfully to get this rectified through Sears.

God is AWESOME… Finally a place to call home!!!

I’m absolutely speechless and now the tears that part my eyes are TEARS of pure joy!!!

Two+ agonizing years from car to temporary stays and barely eating… SMH ggggrrrrrrhhhhhh. It’s over now!!! Just something I had to endure temporarily.

*** In need of donations though, to build my new home from scratch… https://www.gofundme.com/rsze8dgk

ANYTHING you can do is most appreciated. No amount is too small. Thanx guys ๐Ÿ™‚

It’s a hard knock life for ME

NOT understanding why is causing my confusion. How WILL I EVER get to sleep at night??? Were ALL those good days fraudulent? If so, you deserve an Oscar!!! How could I EVER be so stupid, NOT to have seen this coming beforehand and readied myself for it all… SMH ggggrrrrrrhhhhhh ๐Ÿ˜ฆ

I haven’t a clue as to why this is taking place the way it is, but I Pray with EVERYTHING in me that God keeps me strong enough NOT to be all suicidal AGAIN… I’m tired of the emotional rollercoaster. I’m sitting at work thinking that it’ll all be good in this or that amount of time, but clearly I really don’t know how long the grieving process will TAKE, especially because I don’t know in the first place why you’re leaving me to start.

I’m feeling that it can’t be another female because I check your phone and it’s ALWAYS empty of calls and texts, but you may have mastered a way to keep it all hidden from me, if that is the case, just know karma is REAL.

I further keep feeling like my healing will take long because I have no friends or family near me to keep my mind off you and depression is adamant in that case. I was gon get on a dating site, just to keep myself busy and in an effort to ward off being somber, but that’s just a temporary fix that I don’t wanna be bothered with… Geeeesssssshhhhh life’s a bi+ยขฯ€ then you die!!!

Prayers Plllleeeeeaaaaassssseeee