Please follow her here https://instabio.cc/DMVXOE… She dances, raps, comedy and acting. BTW I’m only 9 yrs old, but I can assure you that I’m ready, pumped up, determined and motivated, to be the very BEST that I can be, and I appreciate each of you supporting me in my endeavor and along my journey… I won’t disappoint 💛😇💙
#danceteam #dancer #dancing #danceskills #dance #dancers #TheEmpire #TheEmpireKids #TheEmpireTots #BnFEnt #CeoSonSon DMVXoe
Today has been very productive, and I gotta thank all who’ve been Praying for and with me for almost a week now, since I began this unwarranted countdown, and most certainly I thank You Daddy, for hearing our Prayers, and slowly but surely bringing me out of the sunken place, that had me bound… Yes, I can refer to it in the past tense, because I’m believing God for a total miraculous breakthrough, to the point where, even the lingering ideation disappears for good!!! I claim it, believe it, and so SHALL receive it.
All the good things that happen for me today, reassures me, that there’s definitely POWER in Prayer; especially Prayer in numbers. I started to have some cigarette withdrawal jitters earlier, and was about to give in to the cravings, and rush out to buy a fresh pack, but God said… Ohhhhh no you won’t, and He reminded me of my nicotine transdermal patches, that were just stored up for this type of emergency 🤩 #ThankYou Jesus, You’re the BEST 🥰… I did awesome in my workout sessions for today, I noticed that I was able to push myself further than before #Hallelujah 💖… Pandora was on fire 🔥🔥🔥 earlier, once Bacc Seat came on, my lil legs was getting it lol 😂… I had to slow myself down, so I wouldn’t gas out so fast 😵💫😩🤪
I stopped for a while, and baked myself some fish, covered in sautéed onions, butter and lemon juice 👌, with some sweet corn on the side, and some good ole kool-aid, then I was back to the races… I started with Body, thank God it’s slow paced, cause I was stuffed and sluggish… So, I took my time in the beginning, but before I knew it Ballin came on, and once again my legs was going so fast, I most certainly could’ve beat the greatest marathon runner of all times lol 😂 lls 🤣… I’m just so ecstatic that my mood has improved significantly… God knows how grateful I am to each of you, who have supported me; some of you, for many many years, have been here since I created this site, and was going through all types of turmoil, you never left me, and always sent me great words of encouragement, and I appreciate it, really I do 😘
Today, when I realized how happy I was, of course I thanked God, for even giving me the presence of mind, to get back on my site and reach out for help. Just imagine, had I missed Him leading and guiding me, I wouldn’t be moving in the right direction, towards healing, and just may have gotten so frustrated, that I could have acted on my suicidal thoughts sooner than I planned smh 🤦🏽♀️… But, God makes nooooo mistakes 😜… Also, while pondering on my blissful feelings, I thought about my future, and the things that I need to began to work towards, in order for me to have a long lasting span of happiness, and I remembered my Pastor always said that we should Pray specifically, not merely trivial. So, I mustered up the courage, to ask God for a handsome, God fearing, intelligent man, who don’t cheat, don’t hit women, loves to travel, loves children (I have 14 grandchildren and 1 great grand), loving my babies just like I do is a MUST 🥰… I’m retired, but I want to be either a radio personality, social media influencer or start a record label, music is my life, not to mention all the talent in my family. But, I want my mate to be like minded, and desire one or all of the things I’m interested in, not to be selfish, as if everything has to revolve around me and my wants… Absolutely not!!! Just compatible and able to work together on our endeavors as a team. “Team work makes the dream work”
Welp, it’s time to relax and this is when I get bored and the racing thoughts began to drive me nuts grrrhhhh 😩… I’m scared to make and take my famous OTC cocktail, after it gave me the night terrors, that I experienced the other night shewww lawd… That was scccaaarrryyy 👀👀👀. But, I honestly think until I find an online support group, I’ll have to keep self medicating, in an effort to rid myself of mental torment. BTW, if any of you know of a site, that posts about good movies, please fly me in… “Put me in the game coach” lol 😂… As always, I love you guys to the moon and back and once again thank you so freekin much ttyl 💣💖🤩
#PaulettePassionWilliams #PauletteWilliams #shootahdcpassion #CertifiedSTEPPAH #putemonnashirt4Passion #pluckemoff4passion #pressemout4passion
Man ole man ole man… I opened my site to blog for today, and seen that a fairly old post had been reblogged, and I took the time to read over the post, from nearly 7 years ago, and I seen how optimistic and positive I was, even though I was homeless smh 🤦🏽♀️… Not getting many hours at work 😩.. But, I was always taught that you never allow yourself to look like what you’re going through. Also, “Faith is the substance of things Hoped for, and the evidence of things unseen”… Back then, I can remember that I would keep a smile daily smh 🤦🏽♀️ and believe God to do the unthinkable for me; which He has so many times before, and just as I hope He does again for me, before my time runs out. #JesusTakeTheWheel
Something else I surprisingly noticed today, is that a nice author reblogged my first book post for me… I’m so thankful for that; as I expressed to them, and I elaborate on that, with great emphasis, because that’s gotta be God, Who led them to reblog the book, because I was so sad that my books done so poorly, and I know it’s my fault, that I failed to promote the books properly duhhhh 🙄… Like how would anybody be interested in my books, when they have no clue who I am lol 😂 lls 🤣… But, still the fact that they took the initiative to assist meant a lot to me #ThankYou
But, back to the old post I mentioned earlier, even though I’m happy that the post and video was so 🅿️ositive, I just had a #thingsthatmakeyougohmm moment, where I just wanted to break down and cry my eyes out, to think that I even have horrible memories to look back on, dating back so many freekin years ago, and people have the audacity to wonder why I’m counting down my days so openly!!! My God, just take the time to analyze my HCYMABH page, different posts from my YouTube and many other social media platforms… A lot of things I’ve archived, because my family would be embarrassed of my transparency, and instead of me moving forward with my attempts to link with others, who were going through the same things I were; in hopes that we could support one another, to please my family… I denied myself, probably some of the best help I could have ever received smh 🤦🏽♀️… Not this time dammit 😩… If it’s meant for me to live through this and finally get connected with good people, who are also suffering, and we can help one another, then that’s what will happen. #ironsharpensiron #loveyourfamily #eachoneteachone #PrayWithoutCeasing #ohana #happy
I’ve actually had some inconsistent inconsiderate therapists and counselors, one who fell asleep on me, one who reintroduced herself to me, after I’d been visiting her for months 👀👀👀… I’m like wtf… You can’t be serious… I just feel like it should be more than a paycheck for these people smh 🤦🏽♀️… For me, I get really attached to my therapists, or I can’t disclose any personal information 🤪… So, when you prove to me that we really don’t have a genuine caring specialist client relationship… Then I’m turned off and totally done thereafter. Nonetheless, I really thank God for the 2 miracles He performed for me today, showing that He is answering my Prayers, for Him to turn things around for me, before my plan can become a horrible reality… God knows I really don’t wanna die… Just wanna be loved, appreciated, taking serious, seen as important and worthy of life. As always, I love each of you and thank you from the top and bottom of my heart for all of your Prayers, support, likes, comments and shares 😍💋🥰💯
#PaulettePassionWilliams #PauletteWilliams #shootahdcpassion #CertifiedSTEPPAH #putemonnashirt4Passion #pluckemoff4passion #pressemout4passion
Straight out the gate, it’s no secret the types of things I mainly expound on on all of my pages… Hell, to keep it a hunnid, I really don’t even post regularly, unless I’m desperately in need of Prayer and support. Well, what do you know smh 🤦🏽♀️… Last night I had a #thingsthatmakeyougohmm moment for real… Where I thought I was dying, but was begging God to save me 👀👀👀. I was in and outta sleep and the pain was excruciating and I honestly thought I was vomiting up my liver 😩… And I only refer to that organ, because I remember when I was a really bad alcoholic, I was always fearful that God would punish me by giving me Cirrhosis of the liver, and I don’t know if it’s true or not, but people use to tell me that if you have Cirrhosis, that your liver can become so badly mangled and choppy, that you can actually regurgitate it up 😵💫… Well, let me explain… I knew that the pieces of whatever it was that was coming up and out was absolutely huge each time… To the point where it was choking me, and nobody inna world could swallow regular normal food that big period. In my head I was dying fast, and remember my lil Peaceful place I purposely snuck off to live in… Off the grid, where nobody knows the address, shewww lawd… Honey child I was wishing upon a thousand stars that at least one person had slipped through the cracks and remembered my address, from back when I shared it during my travel and could please please please please please send help smh 🤦🏽♀️. I’m sooooooo happy to have finally woke up and still had all my fingers, toes, vision, taste, sight etc… I was confused asf… Like wtf just happened 😳… Shoot my niece taught us all very well, how to masticate 100 times before we devour our food dammit… So, how in the heck did I have pounds (globs) of who knows what spewing up outta me like that???🤔… I was thinking, perhaps you just had a complete outta body experience and none of it happen… Uhhhhhh, I would have believed that, except for the remnants of the night before were staring back at me, from my bedside garbage can, letting me know that the former and neither the latter were so. I had indeed went through pure hell earlier and the most important point and fact of it all, is that I literally thought I was dying, but was begging for God to please save me, and spare my life… You talking about a confused individual… I’m lost lost at this point.
I went ahead and did my workout, the whole time trynna make sense of the irony of it all… Thinking, hmm maybe you really want to see if good things will happen before the 150 Days dissipate, that will make all of the horrible thoughts go away. I was on board with that thought and I added, that the way I see me going out does NOT constitute all the pain, and I started thinking long and hard about that pain, and I’ve had 4 babies, but the pain I experienced last night toppled that times 3 smh 🤦🏽♀️… It felt like I was having abdomen surgery without anesthesia, and it was simply my punishment, for allowing myself to fall back into this suicidal pitiful state of mind again, when you’ve been free of it since 2017. Another #thingsthatmakeyougohmm moment… Welp, it’s true that I haven’t gone as far as to act on my suicidal thoughts since 2017, and although that appears to be a celebratory point, on the face of it all, I think it’s important to realize that some of the worst things to ever happen to me, occurred well after 2017 and I remained strong and held on to the place I’m at now, where I’m sick and tired of being sick and tired. TBH, I can admit that the other attempts were behind much more trivial things than what I’ve gone through since 2017, and I was determined not to go out weak, but to fight with everything in me and I have, unfortunately Covid-19 messed up a very good case that I had in the works, that appears to be stored away on the shelf; as if somebody’s livelihood don’t depend on a verdict, but who am I?
But, back to last night. I seriously think I was Praying to God, to spare me and explaining that it’s most certainly not my intention to neither make a mockery of Him nor give Him an ultimatum… I’m just hurting, confused, lonely, sad, miserable, devastated, in pain (literally), numb and mute for the most part smh 🤦🏽♀️… It’s a heavy burden for me to go to my mailbox, brush my teeth, grease my hair, cook, bathe; and I’m a female, so God knows I’m down bad, as low as one can get 🥲
For some time now, since I became overweight, I’ve purposely avoided mirrors, family photos and videos fah sho fah sho… But, mainly mirrors!!! Well, I had professional movers to move me in to my new home and I did all the paperwork electronically, without ever seeing my home beforehand… Covid-19 changed us and the dynamics of the way we move smh 🤦🏽♀️… After the movers left I locked my door and messed around with some things in the living room and kitchen, before going to my bedroom… Omg, when I tell you I could have passed out… I’ve never seen anything like it… My entire closet is made of freekin mirror… And the movers set my darn bed up directly adjacent to it… There’s no effin escaping it 🤪… And both of my bathrooms have damn panoramic mirrors… I’m like I’m doomed lol 😂 lls 🤣 #bingbong can somebody send Joe Byron to help me 🥰 #gottalaughtokeepfromcrying
Sooooooo, I stopped smoking cigarettes, where I’ve been smoking for 27 years and highly addicted, up to two and half packs per day… No exaggeration 😜… Wouldn’t you think that my breathing would be better during my workout sessions instead of worse 👀👀👀… Before, when I would work out and go smoke I could breathe just fine… Yes, I said I would finish working out, light a cigarette and breathe absolutely delightful… Today!!! I nearly died while on my aerobics bike… I’m like you gotta be kidding me… Am I cursed??? Wtf is really going on, that everything is in total reverse for me lately 💣🤩💸💰💵… I don’t do well wit the unknowns and weird stuff happening… So yall Pray wit and for me… I live alone smh 🤦🏽♀️ and I scare easily lol 😂 #loveyall #ThankYou #Prayer #JesusTakeTheWheel #family
#PaulettePassionWilliams #PauletteWilliams #shootahdcpassion #CertifiedSTEPPAH #putemonnashirt4Passion #pluckemoff4passion #pressemout4passion
I actually feel better today, and have enough energy to get some exercise in 😜… It’s been said that exercise is more than just beneficial for weight loss and heart health, but it also releases much needed dopamine into the brain… Now, that sounds like a winner 🥰… Because I’m determined to come out of this stupor unscathed and victorious… I’m down to try all methods of any and everything 🅿️ositive. I started my cigarette cessation 3 days ago and it’s hard, but I’m determined 🅿️eriod… In order for me to see the good in life, I must look towards a new way of living in total. No, 151 Days don’t seem like much, but with God “All things are possible“… I’m even purposely eating healthy lol 😂… I know my neighbors think I’m crazy smh 🤦🏽♀️… Watching all the Amazon Fresh deliveries come over the past couple of days. But, I want my family to know that I understood the assignment 😘… Should worse come to worst and I lose my battle with ideation and this whole thing comes to fruition… They will not be able to say I went out weak… The proof will be in the pudding… That I listened attentively and put forth the BEST fight I had inside of me… Now, all I need is God’s help, to push me across the winning finish line “I can do all things through Christ Who strengthens me”… Let’s go 😍
#shootahdcpassion #CertifiedSTEPPAH #putemonnashirt4Passion #pluckemoff4passion #pressemout4passion
Stigma is a big deal for those of us dealing with mental health issues. I’ve written about it in my latest book, A Brief History of Stigma, but there…
Quotes on Mental Illness Stigma
Taking a step towards healing is not for me to isolate myself, as before, and block out the very thoughts of what’s really going on inside me. Read as much as possible, exercise daily and Pray like crazy. Time is ticking and I gotta find somebody, anybody… Who’s not ashamed of what I’m going through… To please help me at least get back to the place where I’m in control again… Cause right now… I’m numb and stagnated smh 🤦🏽♀️
#Shootahdcpassion #CertifiedSTEPPAH #putemonnashirt4Passion #pluckemoff4passion #pressemout4passion
Hey P-Duds,
Sooooo, I’m back again with another video 📹 📸📷📽️🎞️ where I’ve fused together a couple of my beginning videos, from nearly 4 years ago, where I was introducing to you guys the PASSIONS that God laid on my heart, whilst showing me how He intends to use everything I’ve ever experienced in life, that I thought to be overly horrific, for His good. Now, I’m no professional at this editing thing smh, so you’ll see that the transitions are not as good as Warner Brothers and Paramount lol 😂 😂 😂😵😵😵 😲 😲 😲 but don’t judge me 👊🏿👊🏿👊🏿#PERIODTT
In the videos, I’m discussing the app that I wanna some day implement, where one would actually be able to click into a live session with a Prayer Warrior, who’ll deter them from the final mistake of suicide and get their mind back on the right track, and help them realize that life actually IS worth living after all, because that’s exactly how I always feel days, weeks or months later, after an attempt, and I’m happily amongst family and enjoying every single ounce of everything different, that each one of them has to bring to my life, from the crazy dances that all my grandchildren do, to the funny clapbacks that show forth in hellah large family group texts, right on down to my oldest daughter, who everybody knows to be the most hilarious of us all #nocap, and her capabilities to mimic anybody on the face of this earth, and keep the entire room falling outta their chairs cracking their sides… Sometimes literally ⚰️⚰️⚰️⚱️⚱️⚱️nah, I’m just kidding, but Sus most certainly got dis comedian thing down pact.
But, more importantly, is the text I received about the 2 mothers, who both threw their babies from high places and then jumped themselves… That thing ran all through me and it just shows that suicide awareness and prevention is definitely necessary, and I gotta stop procrastinating, and get into gear, doing whatever I can to build Alone NO MORE, so that we’re readily available for all that’s in need.
Da UGLY Ducklin -IN DA LIFE OF PASSION 