Tag: husband

Post from HCUMABH 6/9/14

GE HCYMABH MEMBERS,

No doubt, I’m ok with allowing God to mend my broken heart, because I know He’ll be genuine in His acts towards me, Neeeeeevvvveeerr wavering in kindness and support and the sadness some people make me feel at times wouldn’t EVER occur with Him. However, what gets me angry, upset and confused is the fact that I’m not able to treat the hurtful people the way they treat me… The flesh side of me wants to be like Rick Ross (God forgives but I don’t) but I’m too afraid of God’s wrath.

He helped me realize FFFFIIIIIRRRSSSSTTTT that I shouldn’t retaliate against the people, because it’s NOT actually them who’s treating me unkind, but rather the adversary is working through them, in an effort to keep me sidetracked from ALL the things I’ve been called to do for Him… see the dumb devil knows it’s about to go down, and many, once again, will change their wicked ways, and come to Christ wholeheartedly, JUST by keeping in close proximity to me… Soooooo, he thinks by reaping havoc unnecessarily between us will complicate OUR relationship to the point that my witness will be of NO effect… NOT!!! Dumb is ya Lucifer 🙂

That just makes me PRAY harder, and the more I seek God on the issue, the faster chains are BROKEN, generational curses diminish, pain and heartache disappear, and family orientation is strengthened… dummy, you’re on notice, TODAY, I am a child of God and always will be, NO MORE falling by the wayside… I’m grounded and rooted… And everything God has for me and mine shall come to pass!!!

How can I mend my broken heart… easy, through continual Prayer and supplication… you have no place here… therefore, return to the pits of hell, WHERE you belong… while Weeeeeeeee move forward in total Salvation… (((TOODLES)))

BnfEnT (CEO Son Son – DMV)

by shootahdcpassion

Post from HCUMABH 9/1/12

At one point, I would spend countless hours analyzing myself, trying to figure out what was wrong internally, that caused constant problems in my relationships.

I will admitt, I like all others have flaws, and I can tend to be a bit dominate at times. But, to repeatedly meet with disappointment is ridiculous, and I haven’t a clue what the issue is.

While reflecting on myself, I considered my physique to be the primary culprit. So, I got my weight in tact, and happiness re-kindled. But, before long he was gone again. Then, I assumed it had to be my overbearing demeanor. So, I took on the back-seat occupant role of the relationship for a while, and I let my mate drive us for some eight miserable months; to no avail. Let me tell you, that obnoxious ordeal was short lived, and I eventually found myself by myself, and really contemplating suicide.

After a while, I began asking God if He ultimately wanted me alone, because He had other plans for my life. But, I can’t see that being the predicament, because He made woman from and for man… Which indicates that there IS somebody out here for me. I’m just missing the mark somehow.

To sum it all up, I’m not living in this realm of confusion by my lonesome, and I’m asking for input, so that we, who are hurt, can come out of our emotional bondage, and find TRUE happiness. Don’t be shy, we can all benefit from each others testimonies.

#TEAMHOWTOMENDMYBROKENHEART

BnfEnT (CEO Son Son – DMV)

by shootahdcpassion

I give myself away

“I give myself away”

William McDowell – I Give Myself Away:

https://youtu.be/O7ofQmeao9I

New dedication, new mindset, new task, and onward for Christ Jesus!!!

Last I posted, I was steadfast on the fact that I was waiting for and believing God, against all odds, for a breakthrough in my once chaotic relationship, and that my ex would eventually call, and we’d be miraculously reunited.

Without fail, God gave me my hearts desire, because that’s one of His promises, in His Holy Word, and He’ll never disappoint. Easter morning the phone rang, and I purposely held my composure, to not let him know that I was anxious to hear from him, we talked, and hooked up later that evening. You won’t believe it was a complete disaster!!!

Now, I could’ve been angry with God, asking what kind of games are You playing, it wasn’t suppose to turn out that way. But, I kept an open mind, and looked at it all from a different perspective. I was the one begging for this, so God did in fact Bless in my favor. But, that had absolutely nothing to do with the way my ex was feeling about us, and God could’ve very well changed his heart throughout the course of the day, to make him be receptive and approachable during our rendezvous. But, God is gentle and won’t even force us to do right by Him, make less force any of us into a relationship we’re not interested in pursuing.

With all that said, I just knew after parting ways with him that I’d sink into the deepest depression I’d ever experienced… Nope, total opposite! God gave me the presence of mind to thank Him for the opportunity, grab my phone and block communication, and carry on with the work He has lined up for me to perform. Not one tear fell, I actually got an instant burst of energy, as if I were renewed through and through.

Immediately, I came to the realization that my ex’s job in my life was finished, he had done what God needed him to do, and that was to bring me back into full knowledge and association with Him. God has ways of getting our attention, and my ex was purely the conduit that kept me on my knees and ever before the face of God crying out for direction and deliverance from the mess I had once again entangled myself in.

Believe it or not, all are not intended to be married, it is written. So, I’ve relinquished all to God, telling Him until He sees fit for me to be with someone, I’ll remain His servant, and happily work on His battlefield without contempt. I surrendered my all to Him, to use me as He pleases, knowing deep in my heart that happiness will follow my endurance, if I faint not.

by shootahdcpassion

Doing it God’s way

Without Faith, it’s impossible to please God… Faith is the substance of things hoped for and the evidence of things not seen!!!

Starting today, I change the way I look at, declare & decree, and Pray about my ex and relationship. “NO MORE” will I act and react in the natural, as it relates to how I feel about what I’m experiencing, and continue to sabotage my Blessing.

No matter how it actually is, (not calling, probably being unfaithful, and not even thinking about me as I am him) those things won’t determine how I respond.

Imma child of God, and No good thing shall He withhold from us who walk upright before Him. But, I can’t be double minded though, once I get frustrated, change my Prayers and ask God to take the very thought of him outta my mind, knowing that’s not how my heart actually feels… I’m the one losing and crushing myself ultimately.

I’m believing with all my heart of hearts that God formed our bond from the start and had always been well pleased with the works He performed, but our insecurities, fears, lack of communication and wrongdoings wedged repetitive blocks between us. Nevertheless, we’re not too damaged for God to reconnect… What God joins together, let NO man put asunder.

No, God won’t force our ex’s to be with us, just to heal our broken hearts, if they’re happier where they’ve moved on to. But, if there’s at least one iota of hope within, He begins the process of reunification and before long happiness is in the air again.

I tried old boyfriends and social dating to no avail, and that’s minutely because my true feelings are to him and I would’ve only used the other guy as a pawn anyways and that’s not fair to them nor Godly. So, I’m glad it failed. I’m doing this with every glimmer of hope and I’ll be sure to keep you all abreast along the way. God Bless… Love ya

by shootahdcpassion

Because I STOOD… God’s up to something GOOD

It’s always surprised me that I have more war wounds, arrests, and hard times than my only brother and all of the males in my extended family… I’ve Neeeeeevvvveeerr come to grips with why I was so rambunctious, angry and mean… Something in my childhood obviously caused the hideous behavior, and it’s purely the Grace of God that kept my standing and living through it all SMH!

Beat for seven hours, in the interim, loss conscious, I STOOD

Jumped by eight humongous women, while an acquaintance of their stood watch with a pump shotgun I STOOD

Car flipped three times on highway, unexplainably I STOOD

Head and face split wide open, with 40 oz. beer bottle, skull exposed I STOOD

Mother’s Day – should’ve been haaaappppyyyy… Assaulted, with unknown object, entire face bloodied, four front (permanent) teeth gone I STOOD

And the list goes on and on, of the terrible things I endured before knowing Christ as I do now… “Any man be in Christ is a NEW creature, old things are past away, behold all things are made Nnnnnneeeeeeewwwwwww” and I had to emphasize (new) to show just how excited I am about my future.

The devil really tried to take my life on many occasions… But God!!! Until your purpose for God is fulfilled on earth, Nooooooo worries, the enemy can’t take you out, and I’m just getting started… So, look out satan. I mean, he succeeded in roughing me up and giving me a few lifelong scars, but I’m still standing, and those scars are simply reminders of the chaotic days he had me running ramped, with Nooooooo regard for human life SMH.

Those days are gone, God snatched me up, and told me to run on; this race set before, and that’s the best thing that ever could’ve happen for me… Today, I’m drug and alcohol free. I don’t do clubs or house parties, I work daily and come home. NO MORE fighting and craziness… I live my life for Christ and thus shall reap all the benefits… And I patiently wait, knowing He’s up to something GOOD 🙂 🙂 🙂

Follow me as I allow Christ to LEAD!!!

by shootahdcpassion

R.I.P. Paulette “Passion” Williams-Murphy

Normally, this would be a time of sadness, mourning, grieving, and a lot of tears being shed. On the contrary, I’ll tell you firsthand… Let any tears that flow be ones of JOY, for this is a glorious time for anyone who experiences this type of death (DYING TO SELF). Where you take on the John 3:3-7 type of death and burial, which totally denounces the flesh and all its wicked desires all together.

Believe me, I’m haaaappppyyyy as a Lark, for I know it’s all uphill from here… Nooooooo good thing will God withhold from me now, because I took the initiative to put Him first and at the forefront of my life, and teach me how to Walk in newness, and I’m excited to proclaim the effects of the Holy Spirit living within and controlling my everyday activities is purely evident.

Thursday, I went to the nail salon, for beautification purposes, and my eldest daughter later joined me, and it was amazing to her how good I was doing upon her arrival and the farewell before leaving… Her jaws dropped, and she just had to say something, which made me even happier about my transformation… Her words were  “wow, I can’t believe what I just saw, maaaaannnnnnn you’re doing good lately, you’ve really changed”!!! That’s how it should be, I don’t have to run around hollering (I’m a Christian)… No indeed, it should be apparent, when people watch you, that God is working out your Salvation, and removing EVERYTHING that could ever inadvertently hinder your Walk.

See, she was use to me coming home with stories about me cursing an artist out, boutta fight somebody, or totally getting banned from the establishment… ” NO MORE “ all those negative attributes, characteristics, and ill personalities are finished… Just like Jesus himself declared as He took His last breath!!!

Ain’t Nooooooo stopping me now. Long lines in grocery stores can’t get me upset, hideous traffic no longer upsets me, people backbiting and gossiping about me can’t get me to respond… That old person, with all those chaotic ways is DDDDEEEEAAAADDDD!!!

by shootahdcpassion

The llliiiitttttttllllleeeee engine that COULD!!!

I think I can, I think I can, I think I can… I KNOW I CAN 🙂 🙂 🙂

If God be for me, He’s more than all the hurt, pain, malice, strife and agony that could ever come against me.

Therefore, of course I can… I’ve made it nearly through my entire shift and I’ll be here every day of the week to come. I decree and declare that I’m strong in Christ who died on the cross for the remission of my sins… How do I look allowing anything or anybody to cause me this much grief???

I’m not, and won’t think ordinary… With God only extraordinary things of excellence can become of me and to me… I’m determined to make it, and if it means I’ll have to remove the rearview mirror from my vehicle then so be it… Because there’s Nooooooo lookin BBBBAAAAACCCCCKKKKK.

This whole idiocy has only thrusts me closer to God and caused Him to draw me nearer… “Touch not my anointed, and do my prophets Nooooooo harm”!

Daddy, I love You for even bringing us through messes we place ourselves in… Yes, I brought this all on myself… But, God!!! That’s when His mercies are new and everlasting in my life… Thank You Jesus for being a friend to me, who sticks closer than a brother… My tears have been minimal to none… That’s God or nah???

Follow me as I allow Christ to LEAD!!!

by shootahdcpassion