Thanks guys, we’re getting there, only 28 more signatures needed… Please keep sharing!!!

Child assaulted by her teacher

#Heartbreak #ChildAbuse #stophurtingchildren #assault #miserable #hurt #angry #confused

Share, share, share and then SHARE AGAIN… WE REALLY APPRECIATE YOUR HELP AND SUPPORT

Advertisements

Watch “Child ASSAULTED By Her Teacher, PLEASE Sign and Share This Petition” on YouTube

So, I was going to go about this way different, and actually give the school board a chance to perform their investigation, and take the proper steps, to make sure that the teacher was relieved of her duties and arrested, since her horrible actions, on more than one occasion, with my granddaughter alone, shows that she does not at all take pride in what she does for a living, and has the potential to physically harm a child, very bad, if allowed to remain a part of the educational faculty.

But, after listening to the conversation, between the principal and my daughter, I can see that she has no intentions on assisting us, in prosecuting nor reprimanding her colleague period. Instead of quickly placing Xoe in another classroom, which she definitely has the power to do, she feels that the best course of action, during the investigation, is to have my daughter pick up packets of school work intermittently, and the baby, who’s actually the victim here, be forced outta school, for an unknown length of time, which is highly obnoxious to me.

Remember, I mentioned that there was talk, in the beginning of the school year, before the teacher even had a good enough time to work well with Xoe, she was already bent on retaining her, and I told my daughter that she needed to contact the principal immediately, because something just didn’t sit right with me. Come to find out, the principal did “look into it”, and she stated yesterday, that the real reason for holding Xoe back, is due to multiple absences, whilst the family was dealing with a very sick family member, and then subsequently mourning their untimely death. Well, that takes me back to my frustrations about her basically expelling Xoe, for her being assaulted, twisted fate huh?!?!? As an education professional, who notices, early on, that a child is at risk of being held back, for staying home too much, and the thought process is that the child has missed too many important lessons, and couldn’t possibly be able to test out, shouldn’t you be leaning more towards figuring out ways to keep that child in class, opposed to putting them out of school??? Surely, you’ll be able to hold her back now, and rightfully back up your decision, with the school rolls; when really, on the flip side, your crazed impromptu solution, made the baby stay home.

Please share this across every platform with us. So, that we’ll be able to successfully bring awareness, to the wrongs that officials commit, while on duty, and because of formulated cliques, it’s merely swept under a rug. It’s always been said, that you never notice a silver Cadillac coupe, until you purchase one, and haphazardly, that appears to be the only car riding along the side of you. A family member, friend or even yourself, gets diagnosed with an illness, that you’ve never heard of before, but when you Google it, you find that it’s running rampant all around you, and your next door neighbors Auntie, on her grandparents sister in law’s baby daddys’ side just contracted it as well, and now she’s morbid, and weeks away from expiring. That’s how I was feeling about my granddaughter being assaulted, it was the furthest thing away from reality to me, and I was stunned, by the news of it. Yes, I’ve heard about and can actually picture an unruly teenager, getting into a real stand up knock down fight with their teacher, and life goes on. But, a baby, being assaulted by an adult, no way shape, form or fashion could I believe it. So, I did, as always, and Googled “elementary teacher twists student’s arm”, the results brought tears to my eyes… How could you??? Operation TAKE CHARGE & MAKE CHANGES… Let’s GO!!! The boat stops here.

Allow Xoe to return to school immediately, instead of creating double jeapordy for her. Charge her former teacher, Ms. Brown, criminally and terminate her; before another African American child enrolls in that school, and gets assaulted by her, just as Xoe unfortunately did.

Paulette A. Y. Williams & Anthonya L. Moon
PO Box 2127
Merrifield, VA 22116-2127
mytightphone@gmail.com
Anthonya.moon@yahoo.com
Mobile (202) 873-0133
Alternate (202)270-2507

Friday, April 5, 2019

Re: Assault on child, Xoe S. L. Moon; by teacher, Ms. Brown

This is the letter that I plan to circulate, should proper recourse fall through. Choking back tears, I draft this, as I stand in, in my daughter’s stead, while she works. Honestly, I can’t even imagine how broken hearted, confused and angry she must be right now, because times have changed tremendously, from the era in which I was raising my four babies, where this type of cruelty was unthinkable. I never had to worry about any educational official even attempting to assault one of mine, because it was established straight out the gate, that I was something like a vigilante, and testing the waters wasn’t wise, even in the least bit. But, for good reasons, I suppose, my daughter is cut from a different cloth, and obviously responds to and resolves issues in a more calmed manner; perhaps this is when the paternal vs maternal parts of her takes a front seat, with all due respect.

Nevertheless, it saddens me that the one thing she always wondered about, has now been confirmed, but it had to derive in a way that caused her baby to end up with the short end of the stick, and she’ll more than likely be traumatized because of it, for only God knows how long, but I WILL NOT take this sitting down and neither with a grain of salt. Operation TAKE CHARGE & MAKE CHANGES commences immediately.

PTSD is one of the most horrific ailments to suffer from, and is a known cause of suicide, because the sufferers never take the initiative to assertively confront the fears, turmoil, doubt, anguish, hurt and outlandish confusion that so easily besets them following a traumatic experience of any magnitude. Instead, they withdraw and keep it all bottled within, which can be devastatingly overwhelming, if they have to regularly interact with the person that caused or is repetitively causing the negative emotions, and the wrongdoings are still at the forefront of the equation, then such things as isolation, bedwetting, misplaced anger, drugs and alcohol start to exist, all because the individual fails to gravitate towards and utilize better methods and mechanisms to alleviate the culprit.

In this case scenario, because the affected person is merely a baby, we have to be her liaison, and take those necessary steps for her, and my living declaration to this innocent child, is now and forever will be, that I can assure you that your pain will cease and I promise you that no other child, in years to come, will ever have to go through anything, like what you’ve endured, as long as there’s breathe in my body, and I get wind of it. Corporal punishment, in my opinion, is banned, outlawed and illegal. Thus, meaning Ms. Brown, a teacher at Jackson Elementary school, had absolutely no right to put her hands on my granddaughter, Xoe Moon, on April 4, 2019, in the state of Tennessee, and the city of Kingsport, which is in Sullivan County, and therefore needs to be charged criminally, terminated and barred from teaching period, regardless of whether or not she moves states, because she clearly don’t have the heart, patience or mindset, deemed necessary, for this sort of profession. Parents must be able to trust that you have their child’s best interest within you, for six long hours, of every week day, and that you wouldn’t even allow another facilitator nor stranger to harm them, make less, you being the abuser yourself.

Ever since the beginning of school, my daughter Anthonya Moon, has been updating me about her eerie feelings, concerning Xoe’s teacher, and after some time, I instructed her to begin the process of removing Xoe altogether, from the troubled environment, and put her in another school. She filled out and submitted the forms, which were giving to Jim Nash, who oversees the schools in that district, for him to complete the transition. In the interim, yesterday’s incident took place, before the move of schools could fully take place. In fact, I actually want him investigated as well, to thoroughly look into whether or not he even began the initial steps concerning Anthonya’s request, or did he purposely ignore it, and can also be held liable for Xoe’s horrific assault, that surely wouldn’t have occurred, had he adhered in a timely manner.

Earlier, I mentioned “bedwetting”, as a possible issue, that may be seen in a person who’s faced with continual unresolved bouts of verbal, physical or emotional harm. Xoe is only a couple of months away from being 7, and she’s still having problems with this, and I distinctly and specifically told my daughter to stress to the school board, our concerns, that she needs to be transferred immediately, as we earnestly believe that her mishaps are most certainly stemming from the ill treatment she’s receiving, every time she comes into close proximity of the horrible monster (Ms. Brown), because she does not have any bladder or kidney problems that could even remotely be a medical answer for why she is going through this abnormal phase, and it sickens me right now, to even think about someone being that heinous, to the point where your love one can’t even control their bodily fluids, due to extensive fear. Operation TAKE CHARGE & MAKE CHANGES… Let’s go!!!

From the start, Ms. Brown did, what we thought to be, trivial things to Xoe, such as expressing her desire to retain her, only after a few days or weeks of working with her. Although, I thought it to be odd, but not highly alarming, I still advised Anthonya to have the principal at Jackson Elementary intervene, with our alerts being that we can’t understand how and why that type of determination is even in to play and/or discussion so early in the school year. Next, the acts of her openly ostracizing Xoe caused my right antenna to sort of rise, and I told Anthonya right then and there, that bullying, in any form, never ends well, and suicide in younger children is on the rise all of a sudden, and even though it’s hard to fathom, I refused to play Russian Roulette with my lineage, point blank period, get her out of that school ASAP. No child should be subjected to, and left to deal with an adult, who was initially meant to help, guide and protect them, disgustingly doing sneaky conniving things to them for absolutely no apparent reason at all, minus pure racism. To have a bag of snacks, and out of 25 children, hypothetically, you only have enough for 24, and your reply is “Oh, I really apologize, I miscounted “. So, that left out child, has to watch the others enjoy, what they were evilly deprived of.

I’ve always been a stickler, against daily incentives, if any part of it, meant one or more babies would have to be without, because that sort of trickery does something terrible to the psyche, and not ethical at all. We’re not teaching our babies, according to Pavlov’s theory. These are human beings, with feelings, and watching everyone else around them, get rewards and praise, yet while they are singled out, can have long-term consequences for them, possibly leading to a downtrodden way of thinking and living. Then, to actually incite the other children, to join in on your forbidding acts, is utterly menacing and outrageous, but will not go without the proper reproach. To hear that little child conveying how she spent hours alone, trying to engage herself in activities, just tears me to pieces. I’m nearing 50, and have been in the Federal Government for umpteen years, and still to this day, I gravely feel that I’d go bonkers, if this were happening to me. Just envisage how torn up inside any child, not simply Xoe, has to be, waking up each day, in an atmosphere of love, care, concern and compassion, only to be forced into hell’s fury, so to say, and imperiled to agonizing torture, primarily because of truancy laws, and the failure of a district official (Mr. Nash), to do what was compulsory, to relieve you quickly.

Without further ado, please allow me to finally get to the core of my plight. Everything stated before was the outer layers, of information, that enlightens you on SOME of the things, that’s been taking place, behind the closed doors, of 1st grade teacher, Ms. Brown’s classroom. On 4/4/19, my daughter Anthonya arrived home, in the evening, after business hours, to find her daughter Xoe’s eyes noticeably swollen, as if she had been wailing at some point. Quite naturally, you’d think, something had to have transpired, perchance in the last couple of minutes, in order for her little eyes to be that engorged; surely this is not the remnants of an earlier episode. Well, low and behold, it essentially was, to her surprise, and nothing could have prepared for the information, that her baby girl was about to unload.

Xoe stated that it was “free time”, and she was diddly daddlying around, ALONE, because remember, Ms. Brown has already successfully made her an outcast, and none of her peers won’t have anything to do with her. But, the gym teacher told her to sit down, another person, that I’d like to see investigated (relating to this assault). First, because if it was “free time”, then why were you making her sit down. Nonetheless, at some point Ms. Brown comes around, and out the blue grabs Xoe by the wrist, and began to scold her, and the baby says that every time she’d beg for an explanation, the lady only twisted her arm that much harder and tighter… I’m back to trying to do everything in my power, not to cry, crocodile tears, while at work, merely from the thoughts of my grandbaby having to go through that abuse, at the hand of a person who they’re taught to trust and respect. How could you??? Not to suggest, that any of my grandbabies would be a better candidate for that ghastly quandary, because NO CHILD at all should ever be. But, in all honesty, even though I’d still be just as livid, I would be more apt to envision how my grandson, with known behavioral issues, could get a teacher that mad. But, not Xoe, and I’m not, in no way, attempting to sugarcoat her personality and characteristics, just because she’s my granddaughter. I’m a fair individual, and will always call a spade a spade, family or not.

Anthonya, never received a phone call about the incident, and understandably why not!!! How can you call a parent, and admit to touching their child at all, make less assaulting them. In order for that baby’s eyes to still be bulgy, yesterday evening, she had to be crying for an extensive period of time, and to think about how helpless and disconnected she had to be feeling, no way to reach out to her Mommy for comfort, and what happen throughout the remainder of the day? Did she hide our baby away somewhere, so as to not have any other adult inquire about her tears? I’m unequivocally baffled, and I don’t want to continue writing about it, because Xoe is bone of my bone, and flesh of my flesh, and I’m aching for her, some nearly 24 hours later, and it’s very important that we get the ball to rolling, towards resolve. Did the gym teacher stand by idly, and witness this assault, without whistleblowing? How many other students can attest to Xoe’s physical and mental pain, surrounding what happen yesterday? Please contact us as soon as possible, this is imperative. Thanking you in advance, for your promptness, in dealing with this matter.

Watch “KILL SUICIDE NOT YOURSELF… SEEK HELP… PLEASE TALK TO SOMEONE… GOD GOT US… YOU ARE NOT ALONE” on YouTube

KILL SUICIDE NOT YOURSELF

Hey P-Duds,

Sooooo, I’m back again with another video 📹 📸📷📽️🎞️ where I’ve fused together a couple of my beginning videos, from nearly 4 years ago, where I was introducing to you guys the PASSIONS that God laid on my heart, whilst showing me how He intends to use everything I’ve ever experienced in life, that I thought to be overly horrific, for His good. Now, I’m no professional at this editing thing smh, so you’ll see that the transitions are not as good as Warner Brothers and Paramount lol 😂 😂 😂😵😵😵 😲 😲 😲 but don’t judge me 👊🏿👊🏿👊🏿#PERIODTT

In the videos, I’m discussing the app that I wanna some day implement, where one would actually be able to click into a live session with a Prayer Warrior, who’ll deter them from the final mistake of suicide and get their mind back on the right track, and help them realize that life actually IS worth living after all, because that’s exactly how I always feel days, weeks or months later, after an attempt, and I’m happily amongst family and enjoying every single ounce of everything different, that each one of them has to bring to my life, from the crazy dances that all my grandchildren do, to the funny clapbacks that show forth in hellah large family group texts, right on down to my oldest daughter, who everybody knows to be the most hilarious of us all #nocap, and her capabilities to mimic anybody on the face of this earth, and keep the entire room falling outta their chairs cracking their sides… Sometimes literally ⚰️⚰️⚰️⚱️⚱️⚱️nah, I’m just kidding, but Sus most certainly got dis comedian thing down pact.

But, more importantly, is the text I received about the 2 mothers, who both threw their babies from high places and then jumped themselves… That thing ran all through me and it just shows that suicide awareness and prevention is definitely necessary, and I gotta stop procrastinating, and get into gear, doing whatever I can to build Alone NO MORE, so that we’re readily available for all that’s in need.

Watch “Alone NO MORE 1…Suicide prevention and awareness. We shall live and not die. Peace BE STILL 🙏😇🙏” on YouTube

Alone NO MORE 1

Hey P-Duds,

We’re finally tapping into one of the segments that fall under Da Ugly Ducklin that really really hits home with me, and will always be a subject/topic that is fragile, in my opinion, and I feel the need to cradle it, just as I did every single newborn I birthed.

Alone NO MORE is geared towards suicide prevention and awareness first and foremost, but of course you can’t just eat all the icing and throw away the cake; uhhhhhhhh it’s a package deal #nocap, and for that reason we’ll broadly integrate mental health issues, treatment and the likes as well

Please please please please please be on point guys, as it relates to friends and family members, who are suffering with any of the underlying problems, regardless of whether or not you feel that they just want attention… Of course they do duhhhhhhh #staywoke and do any and everything in your power to cater to their needs when and wherever they summons you… Their life depends on it #PERIODTT

Watch “The Transparent ME – Enquiring Minds Wanna Know – Everything At The Forefront… No holding back!!!” on YouTube

The Transparent ME 1

Hey P-Duds,

So, we’re on day 2, and as promised, I’m giving it to you RAW!!! This VLog takes us back to my website, dauglyducklin.org, and into the mind of PASSION, from 2014, when I transitioned from mere blogging to VLogging, and my first post was really short, on July 9, 2014, where I gave a verse, concerning God’s desire for marriage, and I added “So Into You” by Fabolous and Tamia. But, I am totally clueless as to what drove me to pick that song smh… Or exactly what my mind was focused on at that moment. Nevertheless, The Transparent ME is where we’ll go deep deep into the craziness that PASSION has endured for the past 19 years… To include, but most certainly not limited to dealing with the whirlwind of roller-coaster emotions and chaos, that’s a reflection of my suffering from multiple mental health issues, several bouts of homelessness, that my psychiatrist simply writes off as “THE NORM” for (people like me)… Dafuq?!?!? What is that supposed to mean… Okkkkkrrrrrrtttttt, doc Imma let that slide, sense you got all them lil cute degrees hanging up on that wall behind you, because frfr you’re more than likely right, now that I think 🤔 about it grrrrrrhhhhh, I am a humdinger at times, and I’m almost positive I do da most, soooooo I probably had a few temper tantrums, that aided in my being unfortunately displaced #THANKCHU. Also, we’ll delve into my many near death experiences #getdastrap, my need for 3 reconstructive surgeries geeeesssshhhh and I’ll elaborate on my horrible war wounds and 14 suicide attempts. Strap your seat belts, sit back, and enjoy the ride, we’re in a caravan, on a mind blowing road trip, traveling down the path of unpaved tar of “The Life of PASSION”… Stay tuned and ENJOY 👌🤣😵😲🙏💗💞💋💖👍

Watch “HCYMABH 1… Back In Stride Again!!! Passion of dauglyducklin.org revamping my ministries 4 God 💜💙” on YouTube

HCYMABH 1

Hey P-Duds,

Please allow me to apologize for being inconsistent, that’s absolutely horrible and unacceptable on my part, and most certainly not the least bit OK, in the eyes of God, and I can assure you that I’m back, full throttle and for the long haul.

I’ve wasted so much time over the years, searching for MY niche, thinking of ways to make videos for you guys, with so many different topics, thinking that I’m finally adhering to His beckoning, not even realizing whole time, that none of this… My misery, pain, hurt, anger, anguish, trials, tribulations, setbacks, ministries, platforms, followers, the website, and so on and so on, was ever about me, and what I could gain nor recoup from it all. But, rather I’m just a mere conduit, servant frfr, that God desires to use, to get His Message out to His people.

Da Ugly Ducklin, The Transparent ME, H.U.T., TMOB, Alone NO MORE, Sister Sistah Connection, and neither HCYMABH all belong to God, and are only vehicles He’ll use, for me to carry out His Work, as it is and has always been ordained for me to do.

Today, I spent some quality time, looking back over, a few posts from 2009, on Facebook, in the group How Can You Mend A Brokenheart, and I was overly amazed and thankful for all the people who really interacted back then, and more excited about all those who’ve remained loyal, in spite of my lack, in keeping the group active and flourishing. Thanks guys… You mean the world to me and God, and I promise you once again, that I’m Back In Stride Again, and this time with a vengeance… Legggggoooo 🤣 💯 😂 👍

Looking Back on 7/18 /15 cont.

My determination to do the Will of God regardless of the video keep stopping. Don’t sit on the things God’s impressing upon you to do. The things you’ve gone through and experienced are for a reason… Allow your tests to become your testimonies. HCYMABH by 7/18 /15 has been in existence since 2009… 6 years and even though it lies dormant people don’t fall away… That’s God!!! Alone No More and the need for the app and being able to video chat even when you’re feeling suicidal, and me being suicidal in February 2015 and getting hospitalized and not liking it at all. Continuum of care for Alone No More is very much needed and long term therapy sessions will be implemented. H. U. T. (HOLDING US TOGETHER) Family Togetherness Ministry – Wanting families to see each other 4 times a month if not that, at least once.

Looking back… 7/18 /15

Very first VLog introducing myself, explaining how I started How Can You Mend A Broken Heart in 2009 on Facebook. How I began the brand Da Ugly Ducklin, and why it was even coined its name from start. Discussing how I want Da Ugly Ducklin to expand into a 5 point organization, that integrates different outreach ministries, especially Alone No More, which is created for suicide prevention.

AGAPE LOVE 1 (10/16/17 MONDAY)

Please give feedback about how well you do with this or on the contrary it’s something you struggle with like me… In that case still comment and let’s work together to get our issues under control to bring about change.

AGAPE LOVE 1

Click LINK ABOVE 4 VIDEO

Strong Bonds That Hurt (((TEARS)))

My name is Paulette Williams, and I’m reaching out to you on the behalf of my family.  The entire family is dysfunctional for real and I’d like to see a change in that, but that’d take some time understandingly so. Therefore, my primary focus right about now is my immediate family, which consists of my four children and their eleven children.

As it stands, my two youngest daughter​s have severed ties with me after a family vacation this past week turned rather ugly, and hidden ill feelings reared its ugly head, causing complete chaos. No one​ actually became physical, but the end result was the police having to be called to mediate certain situations to the best of their abilities, but still upholding the law, with advice to each of us to seek out legal help for many unresolved financial issues.

A little history: Since the age of 15 I began raising my children alone, with absolutely no help from their fathers, all four different, which was something I was always shameful about and another thing I constantly discouraged for my three daughters. I repetitively used my many mistakes as points of reference for the way I did not want them to follow, seeing as though my adolescent and beginning adult years was filled with several arrests, alcohol, drugs, mental illnesses, suicide attempts, multiple marriages and reconstructive surgeries, that came about because of my ways, attitude, disposition, actions and crazy reactions.

After my last jail stay, I took a good look at these new little faces joining our lineage (MY gorgeous grandbabies), and I vowed to myself to be a BETTER mother and grandmother (The expected Echelon/Matriarch) that I should’ve been from start. I took the initiative to go back to college and I finally received my certificate in Medical Assistance and I secured a prominent position for a wonderful OB/GYN and together we successfully ran both her offices at two of the best hospitals in Washington, DC, and this was my way of life and something positive being modeled in front of them for some time, until I came down with Sciatica and had to have emergency surgery, which inadvertently landed me on disability. In the interim I continued to profess my Faith in God and they too followed my lead, and I’m ever so thankful for that, because it kept my family strong and bonded.

Before long, SSI help became inadequate, as the cost of living increased from year to year. So, I obtained a Ticket to Work, and became gainfully employed by the United States Postal Service, where all three of my daughters followed my lead, but eventually resigned unadvisable, and it seems like things have been rough for all of us since then.

Speed forward: Due to all the time I wasted either from being incarcerated, in mental institutions, totally drunk or high, away from my babies I never was able to do anything nice for them. So, I bought us a timeshare, that we all could utilize either individually or as a family, and I own the eleventh week of each year, which happens to always fall in my second daughter’s birthday month, and it worked out perfect for the first year of her going down with her friends and family and my request was merely that the rest of us join sometime throughout the course of that week for a family gathering. I was ecstatic to give her this yearly gift, because she was one of my children who claimed to feel that she was the black sheep, and overlooked by me. Although I didn’t see this, I will attest to one thing. If it’s true that she’s been made to feel that way, in actuality it’s all deserving, seeing as she’s the one of my children that has always been outlandish and blatantly disrespectful to me and anyone else that tries to speak logic, rules, reality and constructive criticism to her.

Nonetheless, March 12, 2017 thru March 19, 2017 should’ve been a happy moment for our Lil family, but it was everything but that; it turned out to be a complete nightmare, with my baby daughter not even showing up, but sent her only daughter to me half packed, hair not done and in my opinion not properly fed, all for the sake of chasing a man who tried to kill her in her apartment bedroom, while her toddler baby lay asleep on the bed just steps away from the gunfire, not to mention he kidnapped her baby, torturing her by repetitively threatening that he was gonna kill her Mommy SMH. There was a stay away order in place between them, that my daughter illegally allowed him to break, by willingly letting him come back around her and her daughter, not even considering the fact that this man still indulges in illicit drugs and drinks regularly, which can cause him to snap again. Had me and my husband not been present to help her and the baby out of the unfortunate predicament, my thoughts are that they’d both probably be dead. Her reasons for “cutting me off” is because of my threats, (out of frustration), to report her to Child Protection, in an effort to forcefully get my granddaughter out of harm’s way. Perhaps I did appear to be mean by saying that, but I felt I was left with no other option, seeing as she’s 23 and totally disregarded my motherly advice to never see him again or at least not allow him anywhere around the baby. I had gotten her a rental car, because she now lives in Tennessee, and needed a better source of highway transportation to come to and from DC for visits. So, I thought about punishments that I use to implement when they were younger that worked and taking things from them that they really liked always got their attention, and brought about immediate change. So, I snatched the keys to the rental car, Praying that’d make her see how serious I was about her leaving that toxic man alone, but it caused her to hate me instead, and I come to find out that was because she no longer had her car, that’s been parked for five months, while she enjoyed the luxuries of the rentals, to resort to, because the prohibited man, during one of his many nights of rage flattened all four of her tires, and it’s gonna cost nearly $800 to get someone to professionally come to the car and remove each tire, change it from the rim, and reinstall them.

It would appear that she’d see all the things that this man has done to negatively impact her life and leave him on her own, but she turns the blind eye and deaf ears obviously. She has a permanent huge chunk missing from her abdomen, from where he bit her and ripped flesh away. On many occasions she has to be stuck for weeks leading into months with no phone, because he destroys them. After the mishap with her Post Office job, she went to school and was overjoyed at the fact that she secured her CNA license. After the shooting in her home and the terrible attack she endured, she had to be put on major medications to help get rid of flashbacks and nightmares, but she kept falling asleep while on patient watch, now once again she’s left jobless. I stressed to her to please see the culprit for all her downfalls to be this man, and do the right thing and separate herself from him at once. Lastly, about this particular daughter; I would hate for any before and after pics to be shown of her, with the comparison timeline being since the day she hooked up with him to present. It’d bring tears to your eyes, just as it does me being her mother and having to watch my babygirl self destruct; only because she’s reached the age of appropriation, and no longer has to abide by my rules. It crushes my heart to see how frail my child is now, face all sunken in, and her baby looks even worse, but every time I feel it’s my duty to get officials involved my two eldest children and other friends and family members say I’ll be doing the baby an injustice. Please help!!!

To add, back to the daughter I spoke about earlier, the one that felt a bit slighted by me years ago and still does now I’m sure, after this weeks horrible vacation. From a child all the way through to where we are today, she’s always been a very mean, rude, disloyal and obnoxious young lady, not only to me, but also to strangers, extended family and her own siblings, and she knows and apparently adores this about herself, even to the point that her nickname “Rudiist Bitch” was coined after her crudeness, something I hate with a passion and always tried to help her lose sight of to no avail.

But, the night things got blown out of proportion concerning my baby daughter, I made a statement that caused friction to transpire between us two, and I regret it, because she was actually trying to help me figure out a course of action for her younger sister. My oldest daughter asked a question about how I intended to handle the fact that I’d never be able to see or talk to my baby daughter and her child again, and my stupid reply was that I’d just start treating her as I had been doing my middle daughter “feeding her with a long handled spoon“. Instantly, my middle daughter went off, it was like a domino effect the entire night, even spilling over to my oldest daughter and my only son, who wasn’t even present. Certainly it was misplaced anger, that was definitely geared towards my baby daughter for how she left my granddaughter outside in the cold, to wait for her sister to bring her to me, while she rushed away back to this evil man she’s connected with, something she never would have done before meeting him.

But, my reasons for starting to deal with my middle daughter that way is because she was and still is involved in a way worse domestic violence relationship and she has four small babies who cringe at the sound of any raised voices, even if it’s in excitement during a sports game or we’re watching a boxing match. Her lip is disfigured and she has all types of permanent slits and cuts, that’s been stitched up from her crazed maniac. It’s nothing to walk in her home and find blood splatter everywhere and all the furniture flipped and broke. But, she never would adhere to my begging her to leave the unhealthy relationship, and even went a step further to simply tell me to mind my business, and just like with my baby daughter, I was encouraged not to contact the police, because the children may get the bitter end of the stick in the end. So, I just made up in my mind to stay away from them as much as possible. To her, that was the straw that broke the camel’s back, since she said she’d been trying to put a finger on why I’d been so distant. She decided if that was my initial thought pattern, let’s make it all the way official and indefinite. Not once did she consider the fact that I’m her mother and could NOT bare to see her face always bloody or her neck with deep scratches, knowing a young punk ass nigga was abusing her, and I was powerless to help.

As for my oldest daughter, even though she got dragged into it, she has never lost her ability to withhold verbal disrespect. So, she just disregarded the things that was brought up about her and continued to try to fix things happening with her two sisters. I will say this though about my oldest daughter, the two younger ones may be more verbally overbearing, but she and I have had three real bad fist fights, that left my pinky on my right hand deformed and she has put me out of her home, where I was helping with bills, to sleep on the streets four times. I’ll never EVER trust her in that aspect again. Usually three’s a charm. But, I got hurt for the fourth time believing in tainted family values. But, for the most part as long as I don’t have to depend on my oldest daughter for living arrangements we’re pretty cool. My son on the other hand is now and always has been very weird and disconnected from ALL of us girls, and to be honest it could very well be for all the right reasons. Too much Drama at every event. But, then too if that is the case, instead of standing on the outside looking in, maybe it’d behoove him to intervene and help us females iron out the many differences​ for the sake of the eleven babies coming behind us, which is my imperative reason for reaching out to you. Again I reiterate… Please help!!! Thanking you in advance​.

Strong Bonds​That HURT (((TEARS)))

My name is Paulette Williams, and I’m reaching out to you on the behalf of my family.  The entire family is dysfunctional for real and I’d like to see a change in that, but that’d take some time understandingly so. Therefore, my primary focus right about now is my immediate family, which consists of my four children and their eleven children.

As it stands, my two youngest daughters have severed ties with me after a family vacation this past week turned rather ugly, and hidden ill feelings reared its ugly head, causing complete chaos. No one actually became physical, but the end result was the police having to be called to mediate certain situations to the best of their abilities, but still upholding the law, with advice to each of us to seek out legal help for many unresolved financial issues.

A little history: Since the age of 15 I began raising my children alone, with absolutely no help from their fathers, all four different, which was something I was always shameful about and another thing I constantly discouraged for my three daughters. I repetitively used my many mistakes as points of reference for the way I did not want them to follow, seeing as though my adolescent and beginning adult years was filled with several arrests, alcohol, drugs, mental illnesses, suicide attempts, multiple marriages and reconstructive surgeries, that came about because of my ways, attitude, disposition, actions and crazy reactions.

After my last jail stay, I took a good look at these new little faces joining our lineage (MY gorgeous grandbabies), and I vowed to myself to be a BETTER mother and grandmother (The expected Echelon/Matriarch) that I should’ve been from start. I took the initiative to go back to college and I finally received my certificate in Medical Assistance and I secured a prominent position for a wonderful OB/GYN and together we successfully ran both her offices at two of the best hospitals in Washington, DC, and this was my way of life and something positive being modeled in front of them for some time, until I came down with Sciatica and had to have emergency surgery, which inadvertently landed me on disability. In the interim I continued to profess my Faith in God and they too followed my lead, and I’m ever so thankful for that, because it kept my family strong and bonded.

Before long, SSI help became inadequate, as the cost of living increased from year to year. So, I obtained a Ticket to Work, and became gainfully employed by the United States Postal Service, where all three of my daughters followed my lead, but eventually resigned unadvisable, and it seems like things have been rough for all of us since then.

Speed forward: Due to all the time I wasted either from being incarcerated, in mental institutions, totally drunk or high, away from my babies I never was able to do anything nice for them. So, I bought us a timeshare, that we all could utilize either individually or as a family, and I own the eleventh week of each year, which happens to always fall in my second daughter’s birthday month, and it worked out perfect for the first year of her going down with her friends and family and my request was merely that the rest of us join sometime throughout the course of that week for a family gathering. I was ecstatic to give her this yearly gift, because she was one of my children who claimed to feel that she was the black sheep, and overlooked by me. Although I didn’t see this, I will attest to one thing. If it’s true that she’s been made to feel that way, in actuality it’s all deserving, seeing as she’s the one of my children that has always been outlandish and blatantly disrespectful to me and anyone else that tries to speak logic, rules, reality and constructive criticism to her.

Nonetheless, March 12, 2017 thru March 19, 2017 should’ve been a happy moment for our Lil family, but it was everything but that; it turned out to be a complete nightmare, with my baby daughter not even showing up, but sent her only daughter to me half packed, hair not done and in my opinion not properly fed, all for the sake of chasing a man who tried to kill her in her apartment bedroom, while her toddler baby lay asleep on the bed just steps away from the gunfire, not to mention he kidnapped her baby, torturing her by repetitively threatening that he was gonna kill her Mommy SMH. There was a stay away order in place between them, that my daughter illegally allowed him to break, by willingly letting him come back around her and her daughter, not even considering the fact that this man still indulges in illicit drugs and drinks regularly, which can cause him to snap again. Had me and my husband not been present to help her and the baby out of the unfortunate predicament, my thoughts are that they’d both probably be dead. Her reasons for “cutting me off” is because of my threats, (out of frustration), to report her to Child Protection, in an effort to forcefully get my granddaughter out of harm’s way. Perhaps I did appear to be mean by saying that, but I felt I was left with no other option, seeing as she’s 23 and totally disregarded my motherly advice to never see him again or at least not allow him anywhere around the baby. I had gotten her a rental car, because she now lives in Tennessee, and needed a better source of highway transportation to come to and from DC for visits. So, I thought about punishments that I use to implement when they were younger that worked and taking things from them that they really liked always got their attention, and brought about immediate change. So, I snatched the keys to the rental car, Praying that’d make her see how serious I was about her leaving that toxic man alone, but it caused her to hate me instead, and I come to find out that was because she no longer had her car, that’s been parked for five months, while she enjoyed the luxuries of the rentals, to resort to, because the prohibited man, during one of his many nights of rage flattened all four of her tires, and it’s gonna cost nearly $800 to get someone to professionally come to the car and remove each tire, change it from the rim, and reinstall them.

It would appear that she’d see all the things that this man has done to negatively impact her life and leave him on her own, but she turns the blind eye and deaf ears obviously. She has a permanent huge chunk missing from her abdomen, from where he bit her and ripped flesh away. On many occasions she has to be stuck for weeks leading into months with no phone, because he destroys them. After the mishap with her Post Office job, she went to school and was overjoyed at the fact that she secured her CNA license. After the shooting in her home and the terrible attack she endured, she had to be put on major medications to help get rid of flashbacks and nightmares, but she kept falling asleep while on patient watch, now once again she’s left jobless. I stressed to her to please see the culprit for all her downfalls to be this man, and do the right thing and separate herself from him at once. Lastly, about this particular daughter; I would hate for any before and after pics to be shown of her, with the comparison timeline being since the day she hooked up with him to present. It’d bring tears to your eyes, just as it does me being her mother and having to watch my babygirl self destruct; only because she’s reached the age of appropriation, and no longer has to abide by my rules. It crushes my heart to see how frail my child is now, face all sunken in, and her baby looks even worse, but every time I feel it’s my duty to get officials involved my two eldest children and other friends and family members say I’ll be doing the baby an injustice. Please help!!!

To add, back to the daughter I spoke about earlier, the one that felt a bit slighted by me years ago and still does now I’m sure, after this weeks horrible vacation. From a child all the way through to where we are today, she’s always been a very mean, rude, disloyal and obnoxious young lady, not only to me, but also to strangers, extended family and her own siblings, and she knows and apparently adores this about herself, even to the point that her nickname “Rudiist Bitch” was coined after her crudeness, something I hate with a passion and always tried to help her lose sight of to no avail.

But, the night things got blown out of proportion concerning my baby daughter, I made a statement that caused friction to transpire between us two, and I regret it, because she was actually trying to help me figure out a course of action for her younger sister. My oldest daughter asked a question about how I intended to handle the fact that I’d never be able to see or talk to my baby daughter and her child again, and my stupid reply was that I’d just start treating her as I had been doing my middle daughter “feeding her with a long handled spoon”. Instantly, my middle daughter went off, it was like a domino effect the entire night, even spilling over to my oldest daughter and my only son, who wasn’t even present. Certainly it was misplaced anger, that was definitely geared towards my baby daughter for how she left my granddaughter outside in the cold, to wait for her sister to bring her to me, while she rushed away back to this evil man she’s connected with, something she never would have done before meeting him.

But, my reasons for starting to deal with my middle daughter that way is because she was and still is involved in a way worse domestic violence relationship and she has four small babies who cringe at the sound of any raised voices, even if it’s in excitement during a sports game or we’re watching a boxing match. Her lip is disfigured and she has all types of permanent slits and cuts, that’s been stitched up from her crazed maniac. It’s nothing to walk in her home and find blood splatter everywhere and all the furniture flipped and broke. But, she never would adhere to my begging her to leave the unhealthy relationship, and even went a step further to simply tell me to mind my business, and just like with my baby daughter, I was encouraged not to contact the police, because the children may get the bitter end of the stick in the end. So, I just made up in my mind to stay away from them as much as possible. To her, that was the straw that broke the camel’s back, since she said she’d been trying to put a finger on why I’d been so distant. She decided if that was my initial thought pattern, let’s make it all the way official and indefinite. Not once did she consider the fact that I’m her mother and could NOT bare to see her face always bloody or her neck with deep scratches, knowing a young punk ass nigga was abusing her, and I was powerless to help.

As for my oldest daughter, even though she got dragged into it, she has never lost her ability to withhold verbal disrespect. So, she just disregarded the things that was brought up about her and continued to try to fix things happening with her two sisters. I will say this though about my oldest daughter, the two younger ones may be more verbally overbearing, but she and I have had three real bad fist fights, that left my pinky on my right hand deformed and she has put me out of her home, where I was helping with bills, to sleep on the streets four times. I’ll never EVER trust her in that aspect again. Usually three’s a charm. But, I got hurt for the fourth time believing in tainted family values. But, for the most part as long as I don’t have to depend on my oldest daughter for living arrangements we’re pretty cool. My son on the other hand is now and always has been very weird and disconnected from ALL of us girls, and to be honest it could very well be for all the right reasons. Too much Drama at every event. But, then too if that is the case, instead of standing on the outside looking in, maybe it’d behoove him to intervene and help us females iron out the many differences for the sake of the eleven babies coming behind us, which is my imperative reason for reaching out to you. Again I reiterate… Please help!!! Thanking you in advance.

Angry @ Myself

​I’m almost scared to write this. But, I can’t shake it til it’s totally outta MY system.

Nonetheless, I’m trynna figure out JUST what type of person I am that makes EVERY aspect of my life sooooo unbearable SMH.

I can’t keep friends, because I ALWAYS seem to be standoffish; afraid of being HURT. So, I purposely fail to give it my ALL grrrrrrrhhhhhhh.

Honestly, I believe I do the same thing when it comes to potential significant others as well, and if this same obnoxious pattern continues I’ll unnecessarily go to MY grave a disheartened loner (((TEARS))).

At a certain point in my life I came to grips with the fact that the only people I’m comfortable allowing close to me is my children and grandchildren, and I was OK with that until they all got grown and NOW have children, careers, mates and friends of their own, meaning time spent with me is little to none DAMMIT!!!

What do I DO now??? My career is secure and for the most part of 5-6 days in each week I’m steady working hard and the predicament don’t have room to bother me. But, the evening comes, just as it always will, and I find myself in a downtrodden stupor… Jesus please take the wheel!!!

I never knew what it was like to be jealous over somebody else stealing your friend from you and you inadvertently hating that person until my last babygurl became her own woman and I could NO longer force her to be my confidant. The very thing I long for… Attention, affection, CARE, concern, sympathy, empathy and Love.

My family has long life spans and I give myself at least another 48 years here, and I’m going to have to figure out ways to be happy with the fact that my babies are now happy with others geeeesssshhhhh!!!

Watch “CeoSonSon – Check Remix | Dir By YSE” on YouTube

When they say the Apple don’t fall far from the tree they never lied… My mother and father were both musically inclined and even had a band back in the day… My ONLY brother was Blessed with their gifts in abundance and it eventually dwindled down to MY baby, and he’s deftly on FIRE!!!

Watch “Ceosonson – SelfMade Official Music Video (Explicit) feat. 2cups & Kidwatah” on YouTube

This man right here is so talented, I must say I’m very impressed, and that’s NOT ONLY because he’s my only Son… I’m loyally one to give credit where it’s due… to God be the Glory!!!

Watch “Ceosonson- Early Age (Official Music Video)” on YouTube

Another video off the 1 year Later CD. My Son never fails to make me smile… I’m sooooo happy for him and ultimately proud of him… Keep up the Good work babez!!!

When the Lord Frustrates His Child

Isaiah 14:27

It may sound strange, but I actually get excited about certain times of frustration. When I sense a restlessness followed by dissatisfaction but cannot identify the cause, then I know to ask the Lord what He’s doing. Past experience tells me that once I make the move He desires, my frustration will end and I’ll be in sync with His plan for my life.

Frustration is usually considered a negative feeling. However, when God agitates us, His purpose is always good. He sometimes uses our sense of dissatisfaction as well as spiritual and physical barriers to guide us toward new insights. For example, I woke up one Saturday morning during my seminary years feeling as if I were in an emotional butter churn—I could not settle to any task or relax, and I did not know why. So I started praying about these feelings and asking the Lord to reveal His will. I spent most of the day on my knees. Soon I discovered that the good plans I had made to temporarily pastor a California church were not His plans. Had I ignored the frustrated feeling, I would have missed a vacation to North Carolina, which resulted in a call to the church God intended for me.

In a culture of busyness, we can easily and foolishly overlook or ignore restlessness. But divinely sent frustration is meant to get our attention. God wants us to ask, “What are You saying?” and “Do You want me to be doing or thinking something different?” As soon as we are willing to deal with whatever the Lord brings to mind, He starts revealing what we need to change in order to receive His insight.

How do you begin again???

It’s been sooooo long since I’ve dated, and now I don’t have a clue how to even get started anew.

I was thinking about just remaining single, and continue to work, retire and eventually enjoy life… but I’m NO hermit crab, and this day to day loneliness is really getting to me SMH.

Then, I said I’ll start going out again, so that I can attract men. But, nowadays where do you even go, to be sure NOT to end up with the same type of men that’s been in my life grrrrrrrhhhhhhh.

Absolutely devastated and HURT!!!

Sears is the worse!!! (((TEARS)))

On April 22nd I received wonderful news that I had finally been accepted into an apartment after nearly three years of either sleeping in my car or in between temporary homeless shelters.

When I became homeless I lost all my furniture and set out immediately in search of what I felt to be the most important thing right now, a bed to sleep on, and I knew I couldn’t afford a real bed therefore I settled for a air mattress and after reading multiple reviews about how easily they get holes I decided to get two cheap ones, knowing I’d need to sleep on them for a while.

I had ordered a deep freezer before my terrible demise from Sears and considered them a reputable company. So, I placed my order with them and it was due to arrive on May 2nd, I’d get my beds just in time!!! Wrong, my beds was delivered too early, without notification to me, and left at front door, and I’ve tried unsuccessfully to get this rectified through Sears.

God is AWESOME… Finally a place to call home!!!

I’m absolutely speechless and now the tears that part my eyes are TEARS of pure joy!!!

Two+ agonizing years from car to temporary stays and barely eating… SMH ggggrrrrrrhhhhhh. It’s over now!!! Just something I had to endure temporarily.

*** In need of donations though, to build my new home from scratch… https://www.gofundme.com/rsze8dgk

ANYTHING you can do is most appreciated. No amount is too small. Thanx guys 🙂

It’s a hard knock life for ME

NOT understanding why is causing my confusion. How WILL I EVER get to sleep at night??? Were ALL those good days fraudulent? If so, you deserve an Oscar!!! How could I EVER be so stupid, NOT to have seen this coming beforehand and readied myself for it all… SMH ggggrrrrrrhhhhhh 😦

I haven’t a clue as to why this is taking place the way it is, but I Pray with EVERYTHING in me that God keeps me strong enough NOT to be all suicidal AGAIN… I’m tired of the emotional rollercoaster. I’m sitting at work thinking that it’ll all be good in this or that amount of time, but clearly I really don’t know how long the grieving process will TAKE, especially because I don’t know in the first place why you’re leaving me to start.

I’m feeling that it can’t be another female because I check your phone and it’s ALWAYS empty of calls and texts, but you may have mastered a way to keep it all hidden from me, if that is the case, just know karma is REAL.

I further keep feeling like my healing will take long because I have no friends or family near me to keep my mind off you and depression is adamant in that case. I was gon get on a dating site, just to keep myself busy and in an effort to ward off being somber, but that’s just a temporary fix that I don’t wanna be bothered with… Geeeesssssshhhhh life’s a bi+¢π then you die!!!

Prayers Plllleeeeeaaaaassssseeee

In need of HELP

Hello,

My name is Paulette Williams and I work daily for USPS and have my own means of transportation. However, as of May 31, 2016 my husband and I will need a place to stay. I can’t afford much, but I’m willing to pay our way. We will take a basement, single room, RV, or even a shed.

OLD to me… NEW for you!!!

Noooooo sleep crew… check-in!!! WYA & WYD??? is a little slogan I add to my Facebook timeline every time  I’m up for no unlikely reason, with seemingly nuttin to do… WRONG!!! God’s not dead. Therefore, it’s always sum’n to do, as long as all the craziness is going on in the world all around me. That’s when Praying in the Spirit becomes imperative.

I find myself angry a lot because my rental unit, that God Blessed me with is even further away from my family then the shelter was, and it appears I’m always lonely. But, that’s definitely a part of God’s Perfect Plan for my life. God knows exactly what He wants to do through me. But, I have to pure, open, humble and totally surrendered. READY to be that conduit that He can use.

Believe it or not… this video has nuttin to do with anything I just mentioned. It’s actually from 9/29/15, and never got uploaded because I was stupidly quitting again… But, I’mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm Back!!!

No coveting, what they have God will give you!!!

I can feel myself getting jealous, angry and nearly bitter towards ALL the people in my office who’s happily making six figures, driving fancy cars that are either paid for or for sure the notes ain’t backed up. And the same goes for their homes, they’re ALWAYS walking around talking bout meeting with realtors and either successfully paying off their houses or about to buy a SECOND home ggggrrrrrrhhhhhh.

This afternoon when I was leaving I was sooooooo hurt,I didn’t want nobody looking at me, make less saying stuff to me… Normally we ALL day drive safe, see you in the morning… Buuuuuutttttttt, today I just wasn’t myself, and acted like the Grinch who stole Christmas. Bad thing though, it ain’t even the people’s fault who I was shunning SMH.

So, I felt God leading me to my PO Box. So, I’m assuming definitely it’s either a letter about one of the jobs or an apartment is coming through, to make me feel better, since I was in a terrible stupor… NOT!!!

I just shook my head and said… “Yet will I trust YOU” Ultimately, that’s exactly what it’s ALL about, the enemy trynna break me down to the point where I Nooooooo longer see God as Worthy of ALL Praise, Honor and Glory, because He’s arbitrarily leaving me in this chaotic mess I’m experiencing… And I’m not able to see nooooooo evidence whatsoever of Him actively working things out on my behalf SMH. Still, I won’t waver in my Faith… He promised to Neeeeeevvvveeerr leave me nor forsake be, and He’s a God Who cannot and will not lie. Sooooooo, that means what I need is for sure for sure coming… Buuuuuutttttttt, whenever He’s ready to deliver and set me free from the bondage that I haphazardly got myself into.

It’s a FAMILY AFFAIR!!!

The pic is my only son’s baby son. He’s actually in the the Vlog, and he made sure to give a shout out to his Father for being a well known rapper from Washington DC… I thought that was sooooooo cute.

God is AWESOME, and actually got two of my three daughters to come to Church today and six of my grandchildren… I have not stopped smiling since they arrived.

My daughter had to finish off my hair, which turned out beautiful… and while she did I cooked up some good ole chicken that was mouth watering good… ALL the adults was licking their fingers and complementing me, and that just made my smilitis worse lol.

I was sooooooo haaaappppyyyy about the message God sent their way, because they were really captivated and listening. Therefore, I’m convinced that they’re not too far off from God’s Grace, and it won’t take much to reel them back in.

My son, in the other hand, will just have to come on his own, as God speaks to his heart. My daughter said don’t force him, because he’ll simply reject it more and more each time, to the point where he may start avoiding me altogether. But, Prayer changes things and God is ultimately in control and can get my son’s attention way far better than I EVER could… So, patiently I await!!!

Things are looking UP for me, and that covers a multitude of the previous bad… Hallelujah!!!

The pic is Carrot Top, my son’s fiance’s son. He’s been in the family for eleven years, and he’s loved and accepted just as my biological grand babies.

Forgive me for it being sooooooo low, I was sneaking and making this Vlog, at work in the break room. This is one of my early morning days SMH, having to get up and leave out while it’s still dark. But, I will not complain, because going in like that guarantees me eight hours… Ooooooooohhhhhhhhh yoppington 🙂 🙂 🙂

Gotta really get more serious about Church. The same way I didn’t miss school not one day, and wouldn’t dare EVER miss work, I can’t be lenient about about the importance of seeking the face of God EVERY single time them doors open. I’m pressed to be at work to pay bills, by trivial things and make sure I’m up on the latest fashion, and I was sooooooo haaaappppyyyy about trynna obtain my degree, to the point where missing class was Neeeeeevvvveeerr an option… Sick, sleepy or half dead, it didn’t matter, I had a goal and I wouldn’t deviate. Buuuuuutttttttt, it’s OK to miiiiisssssssssss Church several times a month, even after I begged for Sundays off and finally got iiiiittttttttt… Where’s my loyalty to God??? ALL while I’m depending on Him to Bless me with 40 hrs a week at work, a home of my own and Salvation for my entire family. That’s simply me using God as a spare tire, only getting benefits out of Him when it’s in my favor. Not right at ALL, and must change immediately!!!

HEAR no evil, SPEAK no evil and neither SEE no evil… Just BELIEVE!!!

The pic is my only son… He gave me my first granddaughter and she came out looking juuuuussssttttt like me… You talking about haaaappppyyyy!!! I was ecstatic 🙂 🙂 🙂 I Neeeeeevvvveeerr wanted to have favorites, but my babbbbbbyyyyyyyy boy was some kinda special to me lol, and he felt the same about his Mom also. Whenever I had to grocery shop, go to school or work, he would cry sooooooo hard for hours, and hold his breath til he turned blue geeeesssssshhhhh.

“Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.”

Just when I start doing good, my old fling, who broke EVERYTHING off with me wanna start contacting me again, buuuutttttt he’s clearly playing games SMH ggggrrrrrrhhhhhh. One minute we’re texting back to back. Then, all of a sudden it’s complete silence… I can’t take the emotional rollercoaster. Sooooooo I really prefer he refrain from bothering me EVER again in life… His unexplainable inconsistencies drives me up a wall, and only allows the devil an opportunity to play tricks on my mind… Like, Ohhhhh he had to stop texting because his girlfriend woke up and caught him. ALL of iiiiittttttttt is irritating… Just goooooooooooooooo, and leave me ALONE!!!

God is sooooooo good, I’m getting 32 hours this week, and I get to run Post 1 by myself again… That’s unexpected Blessings of elevation and gain at work. As I said before, the things they’re allowing me to do, I wasn’t even thinking about doing for probably nine to ten more years… Walking around with keys to Federal Government buildings… Woooooowwwwwwww 🙂 🙂 🙂 I’m waaaaaayyyyyyy tooooooo Blessed to EVER be stressed!!!

I was upset yesterday, I won’t lie!!! Because it seems like bad stuff keep coming out the woodwork… I read the pamphlet that said MAX 90 days at the shelter, and that had me in my feelings off the break, but I dealt with it, rules are rules, and I just planned to cross that bridge when I came to it, and I depended on only having to request two extensions, which I thought were good for a period of thirty day’s. Come to find out, the maximum stay has been switched to sixty days, and the extensions, if granted are only for two week increments at a time SMH… That just blew me terribly!!!

Buuuuuutttttttt, today is FREE YOUR MIND FRRRRRIIIIDDDDDAAAAAYYYYY and just as I express to you guys… Nothing is to bombard or overwhelm you today!!! Therefore, this possible upcoming trouble is merely a figment of my imagination!!!

Guys, I can tell when I’m doing things right in the eyes of my Heavenly Father, He’ll just have people walk up and hand me sympathy cards with money in them… I’m so overjoyed and THANKFUL, immediately I Pray for BIG/HUGE Blessings to fall upon each of them and their entire families. Especially the one who helped me today, because she was just crying until her eyes was stop sign red over some personal issues she was having… And yet she unselfishly gave to me… Praise, Honor and Glory to my Daddy, because ultimately it’s ALL Him… They’re just vessels He’s using.

Resist the devil and he will flee!!!

The pic is my only son’s only daughter, and she’s the other Mini Me I told you ALL about.. To me, she looks like the younger version of me, dimple and all. Then, the Lil chunky Mini Me, that just had a bday resembles me after I’ve put on a few extra pounds lol.

It feels sooooooo good to hear God, even to this day, tell me that I’m fearfully, marvelously and wonderfully made… In spite of what I’ve allowed to take place in my life… He don’t see me as the world does (Less than, trifling or hopeless).

In fact, my Daddy was already well aware of my current predicament, waaaaaayyyyyyy BBBBAAAAACCCCCKKKKK before I EVER came to be. Our Heavenly Father knew our futures before we took our first breath.

EVERY day allotted to each of was a part of God’s perfect plan, and He knew how each day would totally play out before the sun ever took its rightful place in the sky.

I can’t rush ANYTHING to happen when I’m solely depending on You Daddy, but rather it’s my responses to setbacks, holdups and utter disappointments that You’re measuring.

Will I continue to trust You, even when it looks like You’re outlandishly saying NO!!! What about when it feels as though You’re plain ole taking absolutely tooooooo long ggggrrrrrrhhhhhh!!! Yes indeed, because I know my help comes from You and You ALONE, and there’s nooooooo one else offering to or even able to help me right now.

Clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience when you’re God’s CHOSEN!!!

The pic is my Lil midget granddaughter, who’s already four, but barely comes to her big brother’s knee caps lol… Her sooooooo itty bitty… When I was just up in DC, at my other granddaughter’s bday party, I was able to hold the Lil miniature size baby on my hip; comfortably for a few minutes, and I could’ve gone longer, but she wanted to run off and play… Understandably, I mean it is a child’s party… “Let me goooooooooooooooo Nana – I’m sure she was thinking.”

Plllleeeeeaaaaassssseeee forgive me for my sleepiness… Here lately I’ve been suffering with extreme Insomnia, and I’m scared to take Trazadone, because it gives me heart palpitations SMH ggggrrrrrrhhhhhh!!!

The enemy’s fearful of us, because he knows we’re coming for him, full force, to take BBBBAAAAACCCCCKKKKK EVERYTHING he’s EVER stole from us. Our children, who we took the time to rear up in the admiration, honor and respect of the Lord. But, the dumb devil has succeeded in dragging them far away from ALL the morals, potentials and values I instilled in them.

II am sooooooo haaaappppyyy about what God is doing through me on my job, He really placed me in a high position rather quickly, and I’m already doing things that it usually takes us about ten years to transition into… The only thing I’m looking for Him to do, employment wise, now is give me 40+ hours… That would do me good… All that overtime geeeesssssshhhhh 🙂 🙂 🙂

“Any man be in Christ is a new creation, old things are passed away, behold ALL things are become new!!!”

The pic is my oldest daughter; my BEST friend frfr… Yeah, we clash ALL the time. Buuuuuutttttttt, God got us, we’re probably just tooooooo much alike!!! I mean we did basically grow up together SMH.

Guys, God is beyond good, He’s AWESOME, MARVELOUS & MAGNIFICENT!!! I haven’t stopped smoking since yesterday around 2 pm… My entire evening was wonderful 🙂 🙂 🙂

I really, really, really, really enjoyed my time spent with ALL my children and grandchildren… Buuuuuutttttttt, it’s BEST expressed in the Vlog… Take a look ^^^

ALL is well… “No GOOD thing shall I withhold from those who walk uprightly”

Haaaaappppyyyy biiiirrrrtttthhhhddddaaaayyy Mini Me… Her turning the big 5 today. Her mother says she’s been long awaiting this day for some time now… I think it’s because her big sister was five for what seems like forever lol. Secret is though, she don’t realize she didn’t catch up with her; instead her sister left her in age again and turned six… Shhhhhh, don’t nobody tell her.

Well, I Neeeeeevvvveeerr did get a plate last night. But, God kept me anyways… Them cheese crackers did me wonders… yummy 🙂 🙂 🙂 That’s just God breaking me out of being so picky.

Today’s Scripture made me think of the Prodigal son, and how he was accepted back into his family without chaos… That’s how easily God receives us back after we stray, and that gives me hope, that He’s not angry with me when I fall short.

When you’re going through and having a bad day,  purposely seek out someone you can encourage. Lifting up others will lift your spirits as well.

I’m homeless and trusting in our Lord with ALL my heart, not leaning on my understanding – I’m acknowledging Him, and He’s directing my path!!!

The pic is my oldest daughter’s son… You met his older brother yesterday, and his Mom and baby sister are coming soon… This is the grandchild I told y’all should’ve been on Bill Cosby’s ” Kids say the darnedest things.” He’s so intellectual, observant and he articulates well above his age range.

Guys, I was so upset that I had to desperately make that post earlier asking for food SMH… I’m not rushing God, but I’ll be sooooooo glad for this to be over. I’m not use to begging like this geeeesssssshhhhh!!! I know it’s all to teach me to get rid of pride and be humble, but it’s terribly embarrassing.

Choose your words wisely… Life and death are in the power of the tongue. Speak your needs, wants and desires into existence in Faith.

Don’t look for a quick fix in your new sought out mate or profession… Instead allow God to provide for you. Our Daddy’s rich, He owns the cattle on a thousand hills. If earthly celebrity and athlete father’s can successfully spoil their babies, just know that what God can and will give us surpasses all they could EVER imagine!!!

Say this when the devil’s trynna make you feel down in the dumps… “I’m too Blessed to be stressed and Ohhhhh sooooooo haaaappppyyyy that my God placed ALL my sins as far as the East is from the West 🙂 🙂 🙂

I’m homeless, but my Father says… He plans to prosper me, no harm; rather give me Hope & a Future!!!

The pic is my oldest grandson, my oldest daughter’s son, you’ll meet his brother tomorrow and his Mom and Lil sister soon.

“I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

The pic is my oldest grandson, my oldest daughter’s son, you’ll meet his brother tomorrow and his Mom and Lil sister soon.God is GOOD, and I spent yesterday getting a chance to really look back on ALL the things He so Graciously saved me from… All the times I crazily put myself in harms way and He continually brought me out… Thank You Daddy 🙂

I’ve ALWAYS asked God why in the world He chose me to work for Him, when I was the worst one of my Mother’s seven children, and the other’s appeared to be a perfect fit for anything He needed done… They were more suttle and calm spirited, unlike me. But, His wants is all that matters, and I still say YEEEEESSSSSSS… Nooooooo matter the cost.

Once you surrender to God, there is no picking and choosing what you’ll allow Him to do through, for and with you… Obedience is better than sacrifice. Therefore, adhere and harken unto His calls!!!

I’m homeless – but it ain’t over, and who cares about da fat lady singing? This ends wit God opening doors dat man can’t close!!!

The featured pic is my Lil granddaughter, the sister of the twin baby boys and my middle daughter’s oldest daughter. She just had a bday, so give her a shout out real quick!!! I’m doing her Lil sister in 3 days on her bday. So, once again we’ll be celebrating for the babies.

I told y’all Jesus has a sense of humor, and He’s a friend who sticks closer than a brother. This morning I was upset about how my job is doing me with my hours, and just as soon as I started the car “Magnify” by Marvin Sapp came on real loud, and I forgot instantly about that sadness, and broke out in a dancing Praise… It was sooooooo hilarious, you’d have to had been there to see it. I guarantee you would have cracked your side, because it wasn’t purposeful or nothing, it just happen. Then, I caught myself and bust out laughing, like “that was a Kodak moment right there.”

Mad about the decrease in pay. Buuuuuutttttttt, I ain’t gon trip… God gotta have sum planned for me to do. Sooooooo, after I grab some grub and eat, Imma let Him lead me.

Be careful when changing crafts at work, so that you don’t do yourself an injustice, as I did SMH ggggrrrrrrhhhhhh. I’m the big dummy I guess lol. Pressed for more money, but ended up with less hours, so it don’t freekin pay off… Some body needs to give me a V8 slap!!!

I’m homeless – counting my Blessings, and naming them 1 by 1… Never desolate!!!

So, here is the mom of that Lil laughing baby… This is my youngest daughter, and the Lol babygirl is her only.

Sooooooo excited, I went to Bible Study last night!!! The teaching really hit home for me… Encouraging me to keep on working. With ALL the chaos and inconsistencies, I honestly considered going back to disability, just to keep a leveled head. Buuuuuutttttttt, God already gave me the answer on that one SMH… And I’m glad He said Nooooooo frfr, because I’m not one for laying around and being lazy. That’s why my children are probably hiding out from me lol, because they know the drill is coming to any one of them that’s not on somebody’s payroll or an entrepreneur.

I almost got myself in trouble again at work today, and once you hear the story you gon be like “girl, I would’ve rung your neck myself if I’d been there ggggrrrrrrhhhhhh”!!!

I’m homeless and relying on the Word expressed in Ecclesiastes… There’s a TIME for EVERYTHING… Waiting with expectancy on God!!!

Meet my middle daughter, the mother to those handsome twin boys… She has two more daughters that you’ll see soon… Stay tuned!!!

Be determined to follow Christ daily, that means setting aside time to seek Him. If you don’t have a Bible (Basic Instructions Before Leaving Earth) then download the app to any of your devices that has internet access, and start topical plans that relate to whatever you’re going through.

Pandora, Tunein radio and Google music are good places to listen to spiritual music, which is soothing to the mind and Spirit and also most of the time the lyrics contain a message.

Use YouTube to listen to sermons… There’s several Pastors that upload their weekly presentations. Even if you already attend Church twice a week for Sunday service and Wednesday Bible study, it’s still beneficial to do this, rather than watching secular programs, just to remain close to God and learn more about Him and His Will for your life.

I’m homeless, but Faith is the substance of things hoped for and the evidence of things not seen!!!

The featured pic is my Lil lol babygirl… The way this one cracks up laughing will bring a smile to even the saddest persons heart. This is my youngest granddaughter and my youngest daughter’s only baby… I absolutely love her with EVERYTHING in me.

Stress is a NOOOOOOO NOOOOOOO… I’m showing you ALL how unnecessary stress caused my hair to fall out completely in the top and how my eyes are still puffy and swollen days later from repetitive crying, when I should’ve been trusting and seeking the face of God instead SMH… No More crying, worrying or allowing problems to linger on… Get rid of stressors immediately… Leave them at the feet of God; He wants to and Will HHHEEEELLLLPPPP!!!

Be not unequally yoked, don’t commit adultery and neither allow yourselves to live in sin by fornicating… I’m taking the initiative to totally cut off a long time relationship because it blocks my way to Heaven… Only what we do for God lasts!!!

See the devil for who he really is, when he tries to bring contention between you and another sister or brother in Christ. Just yesterday he caused multiple small arguments to occur between me and one of my bosses, who’s a devout woman of God and I repented and then asked God to make a way for me to also be a woman and apologize, even though she was really rude and mean towards me.

I’m homeless, and just like Job… I’m about to receive double for ALL my trouble!!!

The featured image is a pic of my twin grandsons that I mentioned in my Vlog. Now tell me they ain’t cute as a button… Remember I told you they’re fast and rambunctious SMH… Love em to pieces though!!!

Today I’m sooooooo haaaappppyyyy… The proof is in the pudding… At lunch and rushing. So, enjoy 🙂 🙂 🙂

Gotta give a shout out to my Lil cuz Shon… Who’s been supportive here lately, with the encouraging Scriptures… Listen to the one she sent last night… Enough reason to keep pressing on… Love you guys to the moon and back. (((TOODLES)))

I’m homeless… Buuuuuutttttttt, a shift is coming, and I’m waiting on God’s SECOND touch (Joel Osteen)

From my Lil cousin: “Faith is not knowing what the future holds, but knowing WHO holds the future”

Therefore, Nooooooo matter what it looks like right now, as long as I keep my Faith in God; then my future is sho nuff Aiight!!! God’s in control of EVERY situation I’m not only going through now, but He’s already got whatever I’ll face tomorrow and for the days to come too 🙂 🙂 🙂 “No weapon formed against me shall EVER prosper” I’m a child of God, an heir of God and a joint heir with Christ Jesus!!!

No More murmuring and complaining, God knows what’s BEST for me and since I surrendered my ALL to Him, now the things that happen, family or not, is because He desires for it to.

When God can’t get your attention, because you’re too caught up in the craziness of life, he’ll do some sanctifying, right before your very eyes, and have you wondering what in the world is really going on!!!

No need for me to be overly upset about not being able to see my family, because when God has me exactly where He wants me, then the relationship between ALL of us will resume. But, I’ll be a better person, and much more able to be the role model they need to look up to. I can definitely appreciate that too, because they’ll listen to me when it comes to what’s Godly right to do, if I’m walking upright myself. But, if I’m off course they’re like “yeah right MA, are you serious” and they’re within their rights… A mother should purely practice what she Preaches!!!

This SECOND touch is going to be mighty and powerful!!! God won’t only restore to me what I once had, but rather EVERYTHING that’s coming to me this time around will be double for ALL my trouble 🙂

I’m homeless, and nobody cares but God… Neeeeeevvvveeerr seen this day coming!!!

I had to steal this from my niece’s Facebook wall: “If someone sticks by your side through your worst times, they’re the ones who deserve to be with you through your BEST times.”

That’s sooooooo true and exactly what I needed to hear today. One of my daughters didn’t feel it necessary to come by for my visit to DC and I haven’t seen her or my granddaughter in a long time SMH.

My son said maybe three words to me, then went on about his life… Geeeesssssshhhhh!!! You talking bout tears… This thing is horrible.

My middle daughter said the most to me and ALL four of her babies brought out a great big ole smile on my face.

My oldest daughter came out to get her money and went on back to doing what she was doing… Wow this is like overkill!!!

I really looked forward to this day for about a week, thinking today would be the day we’d all make amends. But, I guess they’re better off without me. So, I’ll leave them be. I gotta come up once a month to grocery shop and I’ll just Pray each time that it eventually gets easier, and I don’t have to drive back so sad.

How in the world is this in God’s plan, not that I’m questioning His authority. But, I have no clue what in the world is going on, I can’t imagine life with absolutely Nooooooo family SMH… This can’t be real, and I Neeeeeevvvveeerr dreamed of being a parent who abandoned her children. But what do I do???

I’m homeless, and guess what!!! It ain’t about me, but rather ALL about God.

In all that I’m going through, I’m allowing God to teach me humility. Who am I to walk around with a chip on my shoulders, acting as if nobody has a right to talk to me or give me direction, Nooooooo matter their status or lack thereof.

There’s certain ways about me that must change before I can expect to receive anything from God. He nor no one else owes me anything. So, this prideful attitude I attain has to go!!!

Then, the biggest problem is the fact that I act out towards people because of the things I’ve been told beforehand about them SMH, and I just nearly had the same thing happen to me at work, but God showed forth Mercy. I love it when God shows me things about me that He don’t like, because that proves I am in fact His… He chastens who He loves… Therefore Daddy clean me up, until I have the mindset that pleases You.

Here I am in need of sooooooo much, but I have the audacity to get smart with people, just because I feel like I don’t wanna be bothered, it ain’t right and won’t be tolerated, in the eyes of God… And anything that’s not fitting for Him cannot and will not be a part of my life either!!!

Change has to take place, not only because I need a home, more hours at work and debt clearing help. But, more so because I wanna be the devout woman of God He has called me to become and desires for me to be… Love You Daddy and thanx for leading, guiding and directing me… In Jesus name Amen 🙂 🙂 🙂

I’m homeless, but not in despair… Trusting God against ALL odds!!!

Things got a little hectic, but I didn’t allow it to break me. A few unexpected obstacles showed face, and each time I merely drew closer to my Heavenly Father. It’s not about what I see, but rather WHO I know!!

I felt sooooooo bad, but that mustard seed Faith, that I Neeeeeevvvveeerr understood kept me pushing!!!

I surrendered my all to Him, and these small set backs don’t change NOTHING 🙂 🙂 🙂

EVERYTHING works together for the GOOD for them who love Him and are the called according to His purpose. Therefore, I’m ALL in,  “use me Lord, until You’ve used me up.

Optimism intensifies perseverance… I’m Homeless, but God’s got a plan!!!

Feeling better today, looking forward to my meeting with my case manager, and Praying with everything in me that she has GOOD news. There’s a new company overseeing the shelter I’m in, and they’re said to have a 98% turn around rate for housing placement… yaaaaaayyyyyyyyyy 🙂 🙂 🙂

Being able to talk to a young lady last night really made me feel secure within, because she also suffered with mental illnesses, and could relate, on so many levels, to many of the things I’m going through. So, that helped deter my bitter feelings and crazed thoughts of suicide… Thank You Daddy.

In a nutshell, I MUST see the enemy in all my opposition, and realize that God’s bigger than any problem that could ever come my way!!! It may seem like my world is crumbling right before my eyes, but there’s actually good in that, because God can now work better with the pieces of me; rebuilding and remaking me into the proper image & person that replicates Jesus.

As for my job, so many other employees keep encouraging me that I’ll get an abundance of hours, because the holidays are right around the corner, and I shouldn’t in the least bit be worried… Therefore, That frustration and stress is out the window too!!!

I knew I’d be HAPPY today, the reflection of myself can be seen on the front of my phone while I’m conducting my presentations, and I was highly upset with the way all this craziness had me feeling and looking… Holding back tears, choking them up… Nope!!! I’m a KINGS kid… And no weapon formed  against me shall prosper 🙂 He’s in control of the hub agreement, and will see to it that I get the hours I need and more… Also, He’s gonna open up doors for me for housing that man can’t close nor block the way.

A sister in Christ said to me just yesterday, that her Prayer for me is that God Blesses me with so much that I have enough to share, and when I do, everyone who receives will see God’s fingerprints on every inch of it… That thing sent chills all through my body, and I felt a quickening in my Spirit, because that’s exactly what’s gonna happen… God is a God that cannot and will not lie!!! So, when His Word says He’ll do exceedingly abundant above all we can ever ask or think… He’s gotta stand by that!!! Sooooooooo, look to witness a Hallelujah shouting Praise report really soon 🙂 🙂 🙂

First day back… There’s a purpose for my homelessness, and God will get the Glory for my deliverance from it ALL!!!

 

I have the slightest idea why ALL of this is playing out the way it is. But, I’m determined to continue on with my Vloggling and blogging because I earnestly and honestly believe that God wants me to show my current bad predicament, and how He’s daily bringing me through and out on the other side.

One thing for sure though, and two things for certain… Once you’ve hit rock bottom, there’s Nooooooo place else to go except UPWARDS, and that’s definitely in the making for me and for anyone else who’s experiencing the turmoil I am… Keep your Faith and remain encouraged… God won’t leave US nor forsake US.